Prelude: The Invasion of the Mind
Maniaphobia
Main Entry:
Maniaphobia
Part of Speech:
n
Definition:
a fear of insanity
To be afraid of insanity, that is the definition of Maniaphobia.
Paranoia
–noun
1.
Psychiatry. a mental disorder characterized by systematized delusions and the projection of personal conflicts, which are ascribed to the supposed hostility of others, sometimes progressing to disturbances of consciousness and aggressive acts believed to be performed in self-defense or as a mission.
2.
baseless or excessive suspicion of the motives of others.
par·a·noi·a
n.
A psychotic disorder characterized by delusions of persecution with or without grandeur, often strenuously defended with apparent logic and reason.
Extreme, irrational distrust of others.
Greek, madness, from paranoos, demented : para-, beyond; see para-1 + nous, noos, mind.
A form of psychosis marked by delusions of persecution and of grandeur. One who suffers from paranoia is paranoid.
Note: In popular terminology, a "paranoid" personality is characterized by suspicion and distrust of others; a tendency to look for hidden meaning behind other people's actions; argumentativeness; complaining; low tolerance for criticism; and a constant display of one's own talents, accomplishments, independence, and rationality.
A psychotic disorder characterized by systematized delusions, especially of persecution or grandeur, in the absence of other personality disorders.
1: a psychosis
characterized by systematized delusions of persecution or grandeur
usually without hallucinations
2: a tendency on the part of an
individual or group toward excessive or irrational suspiciousness and
distrustfulness of others
This is paranoia, not quite the same thing, but able to be classified close too or nearby Maniaphobia, as the fear of being insane would be a paranoid trait. It is with great satisfaction that all but a few must deal with such worries. Stress fills the world quite enough to have such frightful emotions on thoughts creep across ones mind. However, sometimes such fearful things take place without care or compassion.
Chapter 1: Spring Tidings
Paranoia! Paranoia! Everybody's coming to get me.
Just say you never met me…
"David, David!"
…
…
A slow return to what was happening took place, as David picked up his head and looked to the front of the class. His science teacher was looking directly at him, and she seemed upset.
"Yes Ms. White?" he asked, oblivious to the rest of the class at the moment.
"Did you hear a word I said?"
David gave a nod and replied that she was referring to the molecular bonds of di-hydrogen oxide, commonly known as water. She gave him a quizzical stare, and then nodded.
"My mistake, I thought you were asleep again," she said with a sigh of regret.
"My fault, I'll keep my eyes up," he replied lazily as he stared at the chalkboard as she continued her lecture.
A distinct feeling of attraction settled in his mind as he watched his twenty-three year old teacher in her knee length skirt and dress top. With her curves and well toned body, as well as her keen intellect, it was obvious why he had a crush on his Advanced Chemistry teacher. The feeling of appeal had begun a year before in his basic physics class. It had been her first year teaching, and she seemed quite knowledgeable, and the students seemed to like her. However, David had more pressing problems on his mind, and having to listen about something he had already learned made his already great lack of sleep a pure one-sided challenge.
He had to stifle a yawn, but it was covered by another student asking the teacher a question about chemical reactions. However, both the yawn and the question were drowned out by the sound of the bell signaling the end of class. The shuffling of papers and the skidding of chairs followed as they all filled out of the class as quickly as they could, wishing to meet up with friends or get to the next class. David felt eyes watching him as he left, but he ignored them. The hallway was wide, but somehow it was never wide enough as crowds of people gathered and made much ruckus about nothing particular. But for David, it was sixth period lunch, and he headed down the claustrophobic stairway down into the never ending basement hall.
The basement hall started on one side of the school and stretched to the other side, with nearly more than half of the light fixtures full of dead light bulbs, casting shadows every which direction. The stairs that led from his science class, near the gym, was right above Woodshop and the Drafting classes. He stared down the long hallway and shifted the weight of his backpack from one shoulder to the other and began the long march to the cafeteria.
Strange shapes danced at the edge of his vision, and a nervous sweat began to roll down his forehead as he began to reach in his cargo pocket. The shapes began to move closer and he forced his eyes closed. Fear was beginning spread throughout his body, and when he heard the sound of several lockers slamming, he ran down the hall. It was so dark, and it seemed to take forever, but as he neared the common room, everything seemed to return to normal. The lights seem to flicker on behind him and the noise from the lunch lines.
His eyes gained a slightly crazed and fearful look as he got in line for his lunch.
The cafeteria was crowded as usual, and his lunch table spotted him before he saw them. In his hands, he carried a tray with a plate and a carton of milk on it. The plate held his favorite school meal, breaded porkchopette, with crazy and mashed potatoes. He walked over slowly to them, carefully avoiding bumping into anyone, before taking his normal seat at the table. Everyone at the table was a grade or two younger than him, but the year before his other lunch table had graduated, and he had to find a new one. He gave them a half smile, and said hello to them all before he began to consume his meal in a rush.
The conversation at the table were really just background noise for him, but he participated in any that interested him or when he had to choose a side, which often involved him agreeing with his two friends Brittany and Emily, against the rest of the guys, usually just to cause frustration. The most noteworthy conversation of that day was the upcoming Mistletoe dance. Of course none of them had dates yet, and the dance was only a month away. Yet again, it was the last thing on David's mind, but his friend Sarah had been hinting at it for two months now and he wasn't sure how much longer he could avoid it. It wasn't that he didn't want to go with her, because he knew it would be a very enjoyable time, he just didn't want to have an episode happen while he was there. With the large crowds and so much noise, he didn't know how well he would hold up.
Something that most people, even his teachers didn't know was that David went to a therapist weekly. It had started when he had been eleven years old, with an outburst at home. He had wound up in the hospital, and they believe he had abused himself. He had been cut, scrapped, and bruised. The frantic look in his eyes had taken a week to leave his bewildered eyes. Time upon time, he refused to talk about it, only mentioning the basement stairs. The session had become nothing more than a place where he could talk about school and things that happened in his life with someone who would keep it to themselves and offer advice.
The one thing he never seemed to talk about when he went were his occasional episodes, like the one that had happened just before lunch. The same had been when he had been younger. Anytime someone brought them up, he ignored it and moved on to another subject. The frantic look always returned, but most people never noticed, those that did call him weird and left him alone. Even he wasn't sure if they really were happening or if he was really just crazy. It scared him and often kept him up at night. His dreams were always plagued by monsters and shadows, occasionally demons. It often made him become reclusive, his friends not seeing him for a day or two, but he always came back around and seemed normal again.
The teachers seemed to ignore the strange things he did as he was an above average student and seemed to excel at nearly all his studies. Science, Math, History, Gym, all came as naturally entertaining for him. He did seem to have trouble in his English classes; it never quite seemed to click in his mind, even after so many years of the same lessons. It troubled his parents and teachers, but since he excelled everywhere else, they didn't pester him much on the subject.
And for certain, his next class of course was English. He was never particularly found of English. They had been trying to teach him for over eight years and he was still only grasping portions of it. It was odd to most to see it too as he did so well at nearly all his other studies. He didn't get it, he was told what to look for, he was given examples, but they never seemed to help. He remembered once that a teacher had compared a sentence to a math equation, breaking it down for him, but even then there was no end to its torment.
His head was down and he was in his own world when he felt a soft tap on his shoulder. A sudden darkness filled his head as his mind raced the fear back to reality. When he brought his heads out of his arms, he looked afraid, and it brought a laugh from his table. David shook off the uncontrolled effect and let out a breath and laughed. His friends took it well and forgot about it as the laughs died down. He turned his head to see who had tapped him, as he had not heard a laugh coming from the person who had done it. His eyes met up with a pair of soft brown orbs, starring uneasily into his own.
The girl seemed rather pretty, but she seemed nervous, or maybe scared. She was wearing a beat up green army jacket, a pink top, and a pair of newer looking jeans. Sitting on the brim of her nose was a thin pair of black wire frame glasses. To see her standing there was so strange, that he momentarily paused, not sure how to react.
"Hi?" he asked, slightly confused, but as politely as he could muster.
She reacted without words and merely held out a note written on white notebook paper. As he reached out for it, she slammed it into his hand, with enough force to crumble it and rushed off, disappearing into a crowd of people. He tried to find her again, but she seemingly disappeared. Yet again, she caught him by surprise, and he had never seen her before. He shrugged and slipped the note into his cargo pants and turned back to the table. They were all staring at him.
"What?" he demanded, coming off more a little more forceful than he intended. Brittany and Emily turned away and returned to their conversation that they were having before. Will and Jules, however, should more of a keen interest.
"Oh come on Dave, read it," Jules said, his cheerful voice causing it to soon like a rather good idea. He thought about it for a second. However, a rush of paranoia flooded through him as it seemed that everyone was watching him, and only him; all the other tables, just waiting for him to read the note.
He shook his head furiously, "I'll read it later, she seemed to glad to be rid of it," he replied to him quietly. He got a queer look from that comment, as Jules didn't realize, like he did, that the note didn't have to be good. Maybe it was a hate letter, or someone warning him that the shadows were getting worse. But what if it was something else? Perhaps someone else had seen the shapes too and wanted to help him Then again, what if his imagination had been running wild with him again. The note could be as simple as someone asking for help with math, but being to shy to ask. But, did that make any sense? He couldn't seem to remember seeing that girl in any of his classes. David decided he would watch for her again, just in case.
Soon, the subject had passed and he opened up and began talking, but it was short because the bell rang. Like everyone else, he scattered, moved to the front of the cafeteria, dumped his garbage, dropped off his tray and walked up the steps, continuing till he made it to the third floor. As he went up, he said goodbye to his table as everyone went their separate ways. He fell into the crowd and moved up the steps that lead directly from the cafeteria straight to the third floor, with glass doors leading to each individual level respectfully. As he made his way to the third floor, the crow began to thin, and he had the chance to breathe again. As his body pressed against the door bar he emerged into a half filled hall were he kept his head down and tried to avoid eye contact with the other students.
After entering room three hundred and twelve for his computer programming class, his mind began to drift as he glanced out the window. The town outside was a bit dingy, but for some reason, it had always made him feel comfortable looking out into it. The school was located right in the middle of town, and had been there for sometime. Most of the climate control and wiring was a little out of date, but he never minded. Who really needed all that updated so often? Here he was in a software engineering class, and nothing was sparking or smoking, so why did the other students complain? Slowly, his eyes drifted back to the computer screen. Without even trying he had already written an assortment of the code for his assignment, and now that he focused on it, his fingers flew and he soon finished. It wasn't any different for most of the other students in his class. His Visual Basic class was full of some of the brightest students in the school. Their only real problem was that they spent too much time being smart, and not enough time applying it towards the school work they were given.
As he sat there for a minute while his coding printed out above him, he reached into his pocket and began to play with the note. Should he open in there were no one would pry, or maybe he should wait till he was home were he could do it in privacy. Paranoia and curiosity struck him at almost the same instant, and he took his hand out of his pocket. What was the note about, and who was that girl? There was something familiar about her, but he couldn't place his finger on it. As his mind began to pry and ponder, he reached up and grabbed his work from above his head. As always, he stapled it at a forty-five degree angle, neatly signed his name and placed it in the basket at the front of the class. The others had begun talking, but since he was in corner, he simply took his headphones out of his pocket and began listening to his mp3 player.
Classes passed by quickly as his teachers left him alone and he did his work quietly. When the last bell rang, he proceeded to his locker, gathered his belongings and headed back down to the lobby to catch his bus. After exiting the stairwell, he thought that he saw her. She was looking at him, but once she had seen that he was returning the look, she quickly turned away and began talking to the girls around her. Where had he seen her before? The thought had crept into his mind, and during the entire ride home it haunted him. Was he just being paranoid again? What if he had never seen her before, but his mind was making it seem that way.
When he stepped off the bus, and the sun shined down upon him, it passed from his mind and a smile spread across his face. The smell of fresh cut grass with just a hint of dew filled his senses. David walked towards his home a block away and the smile didn't fade.
Chapter 2: Expected Visit
And I said what about Breakfast at Tiffany's.
She said I think I remember the film, and as I recall we both kind of liked it.
And I said, well that's, one thing we got…
The lights were off except for his room, where David sat on the computer, typing. Microsoft Word was open, and he was writing about his adventure in the basement. All the encounters he had where he wasn't sure if what happened was real were all typed, saved, and hidden on his computer. It was simple enough for him to find them, but if anyone else searched, they would have to take some time to find them. They were each labeled scientifically and put in order by date. It was something of a paranormal diary for him, but he often left files untouched. Did he really want to relive some of the past 'encounters' he has had. What if he read them and it just made him seem crazier to him. That worried him more than a little. Of all the things he believed he had experienced over the years, his mental stability was often drawn into question when he thought about himself.
He was home alone again, and when that happened, he did his very best to keep himself occupied so that such thoughts didn't pass through his mind, After he finished typing up his 'report', he went onto the website Myspace, and checked his messages. When he looked, he saw that he had a new friend request, and when he looked at the person's profile, it was her. It was the same girl that had given him the note at lunch earlier that day.
"The note!" he yelled to himself, before digging into his pockets and taking it out.
His eyes glanced over it for a moment, taking in the small folded square before he opened it. Nervousness crept over him as he slowly unfolded it and began to read.
I feel really nervous writing this to you, since I don't know if you remember me, but the two of us were in the same English class last year. My name is Sarah Parker; I sat two seats behind you and one row to the left. Well, you see, my friends kinda made me right this, so if you don't care, please just throw this away after you read this. But if you do care, I would really like to talk to you about it, even if it's only on AIM or Myspace.
I had a really big crush on you last, year and I was too scared to talk to you about it. I had to talk all my friends out of asking you for me, but I was just wondering if you like me back. If you with someone, that's fine, and I'm sorry and just forget about it. But if your not, I would really like to maybe see you more. I was really disappointed when I found out I didn't have class with you this year, and I only see you passing by in the halls now and then. You always seemed like you were in such a rush to get somewhere, so I never bothered you. Then last week I saw that you were in the same lunch as me so I thought I would take a chance.
Please write me back or talk to me on AIM or Myspace, please! My sn is KityGrl23 and my display name is Sarah on Myspace, I'll send you a friend request after school. Please tell me either way?
David nearly fell out of his seat as he leaned back, but he caught himself half way to the ground. Where had this come from? He then remembered her clearly. He had seen her plenty of times, but he hadn't known her so he had forgotten. He quickly read the letter again, and a strange warmth. He had felt it before, but it was always just fancies, this was real, this girl seriously liked him. He sat dazed for a minute, before he realized that she was online. But what would he say to her? He wanted to say yes for sure, but what else would he say? David had never been really good at talking with people and had kept quite to himself, even among friends.
He logged onto Aim and accepted her friend request, eager to talk to her, but unsure how to proceed. For a moment he debated whether to message her on IM or just send her a message. Shyness seemed to creep over him, so he decided to send her a message.
Dear Sarah,
Now that you mention it, I do remember you from English last year. No, I am not with anyone right now. Actually I think you are free of competition if you like me, lol. I really think you're cute, so I would love to see you more and maybe get to know you a little better? I wish you had said something back then, but that's alright, we still have now. Well I'll probably be on here most of the night and my sn is NightWalker37.
Hope to hear from you soon,
David
Nothing else to say came to his mind, so he sent the message to her and opened Musicmatch and turned on one of his saved play lists. He began to wonder how she would respond, but decided he would rather read it than imagine it, so he opened Dracula in Microsoft Reader and began to read, pausing occasionally to check for a new message.