I Can Find You

by cocoalover1956

Emma wanted to flee, to grab her children and run back home, but her feet were fastened to floor. "Neal, can I talk to you in the hallway?" she wanted to say, but he beat her to the punch. "Is he my son?" Neal demanded. Sequel to The Red Line

"Mommy, can we go to the Empire State Building?" Aria asked, her little nose pressed against the glass of the taxi window.

Emma dabbed away some sweat that was forming on her forehead. It was just her luck that a heat wave struck New York not long after they'd gotten off the plane. "We don't have time princess. I just have to meet with Dr. Green, then we're going straight home."

"Please." Aria begged, turning her large, sweet blue eyes on her mother.

"Yeah Mom, it'll be fun." Henry agreed.

"Wouldn't it be more fun to greet your dad when he gets back from his business trip?" Emma asked, "He might bring you something from California."

Her husband, Killian, was spending the week on a business trip for the shipping company he worked for, Neverland Overseas. The Joneses had planned to have a family friend, Ruby, watch the children while Emma met with the object of her private investigation, but Ruby broke her leg just two days before. They would have asked their other friends, the Nolans, but they just had a baby and were far too busy to watch two additional children. And so Emma was compelled to bring her two kids with her.

A quarter hour before eight, the taxi finally stopped at Dr. Green's place of employment, a maternity clinic in Manhattan. Emma paid the driver and walked inside holding a briefcase in her left hand and Aria's hand with her right.

The clinic was upscale and modern, all white tiles and glass. The waiting room was just to the left of the front door and had large black couches, steel tables, and a television screen playing some old soap opera. The receptionist's desk was also steel, embossed with small birds, the clinic's logo. Not very maternal or inviting, in Emma's opinion, but very clinical.

"Good morning." the receptionist gave them a practiced smile, "Welcome to Coordinate Women's Health Center. Do you have an appointment?"

"Sort of. My name is Emma Swan. I'm here to see Dr. Green, but I'm not a patient."

The receptionist looked confused, but searched through his computer anyway. "Oh yes, you are scheduled to see her. And you're in luck because she just came in. Dr. Green's office is in the West Wing on the second floor."

"Thank you." Emma replied, "Um, is it alright if I leave my children here in the lobby?"

"Of course."

Emma thanked him once again and brought her children over to the couches a few feet away. "I'm gonna be gone for a while, maybe an hour, and I want you both on your best behavior. No making noise, no bothering the patients or staff. Okay?"

"Okay Mom." Henry and Aria said together. She gave each of them a peck on the forehead before going off in search of Dr. Green's office.

Dr. Zelena Green, as Emma had found through her research, was an attractive woman in her late thirties; pale skin, curly red hair, and pale blue eyes made a striking picture. There was faint strip of paler skin in her left ring finger, a relic of her recent divorce from Walsh West.

"So," Zelena began, shaking Emma's hand, "you're the private investigator, Mrs. Jones."

"Yes. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me." Emma answered.

"Please, have a seat." When Emma sat down, Zelena continued, "What is it that you're here for?"

"I was hired to find you by one of your biological relatives. She wants to meet you, but only if you'll consent to it."

Zelena looked stunned. "Wow, I can't say I expected that. My former social worker said I was found outside a hospital in Topeka. How do you know this person is related to me? Who, exactly, are you referring to? My birth mother?"

"Unfortunately your birth mother, Cora Mills, is deceased. You have my condolences. I know who your birth father is, but I have not been able to locate him." Emma explained. "My client is your half-sister, Regina Locksley. She lives in Maine with her husband and step-son."

"Did her mother, err, our mother tell her about me?" Zelena asked hopefully. "About why she gave me up?"

Emma kept her voice professional, but not cool, "No, she didn't. During Cora's funeral, Regina learned from some of her old acquaintances about a rumor that she had been pregnant. So, Regina dug through your mother's old diaries and found an entry stating that she'd had another child with her college boyfriend, Jonathan Gardiner. He abandoned her around the time she discovered she was pregnant."

"Did it say why she left me?" Zelena asked quietly.

Emma tried to think back to all the times she wondered the same, "Not exactly, but Regina and I have deduced that she didn't want to interrupt her studies by raising a child. Eventually she got accepted into medical school, got married, and had Regina. She could tell you more about your mother, if you chose to meet her."

Zelena contemplated her words for a minute, "How do I know you aren't just making all this up? Show me some proof."

"I have pictures and documents in my briefcase." Emma stated.

While Emma went over the paper trail with Zelena, a new couple walked into the clinic to await their appointment. Tamara Mendel and her fiancé Neal Gold sat down next to the Jones children. Aria, curious child that she was, looked over at them.

"You have a pretty ring." Aria told Tamara with a smile full of teeth.

"Why, thank you. It's nice of you to say that." Tamara replied.

"Can I see it?"

Henry scolded his little sister, "Mom said not to bother anyone."

"Oh, it's fine." Tamara replied lightly. She slid her diamond and emerald engagement ring off her finger and held it up for the little girl to see better. "Nice, huh? It means we," she pointed to herself and Neal, "are going to get married."

Aria's eyes widened, "That's just like Mommy and Daddy! And Uncle David and Aunt Mary Margaret too."

Neal and Tamara laughed. "Isn't she adorable?" Tamara said to her fiancé.

"Maybe this'll turn out to be a blessing in disguise, if all kids are like her." Neal replied.

Aria blushed bright pink at the compliment.

The clicking of high heels called their attention. Emma stood in the middle of the clinic lobby, stunned and stiff as a statue.

Neal. Neal was sitting right in front of her, next to her son. Their son. Her mouth went dry and her heart seized up painfully. Seeing him again made her feel like the last decade had never happened, like she was still a scared, lonely little girl trying to find someone to love her.

"Emma." Neal looked as nervous as if he was handling a time bomb. "Wow, it's been forever. You look great."

"Thank you." she replied in her thin, close to cracking voice.

Tamara caught on quickly to the fact that Neal and Emma probably hadn't parted on good terms. "Oh, you two know each other?"

"It was years ago." Neal said quickly. "Emma, this is my fiancée, Tamara. Tamara, this is my old friend Emma Swan."

Emma gave her a polite nod and a small, tight smile. "Nice to meet you."

"Mommy, the lady showed me her ring. It's pretty." Aria giggled.

If Neal looked alarmed before, he looked more so now. His head whipped back and forth between Emma, Aria, and Henry. "These are your kids?" As the pieces started to fit together, anger began to seep into his voice.

"Baby, what's the matter?" Tamara asked.

Neal barely heard her. "Kid," he stared at Henry, "how old are you?"

"Ten and a half…" Henry answered reluctantly, looking to his mother.

Emma wanted to flee, to grab her children and run back home, but her feet were fastened to floor. "Neal, can I talk to you in the hallway?" she wanted to say, but he beat her to the punch.

"Is he my son?" Neal demanded.

The words seemed to echo through the clinic lobby. It was thanks to the early hour that no one else was around to watch the debacle. Tamara put her hand over her mouth; she hadn't quite expected this.

"No." Aria burst in, as oblivious and innocent as only a small child could be, "Henry is Mommy and Daddy's son. And that makes him my brother."

Though no one had told Aria yet, Henry already knew that Killian wasn't his biological father. He had vague memories of the wedding and of changing his last name from Swan to Jones. And there was the fact he looked nothing like Killian.

A nurse came over holding a clipboard, "Tamara Mendel? Dr. Goode will see you now."

Neal looked torn.

Against her strong desire to never see Neal's face again, Emma said, "I have to leave for Boston, but I'll be in touch." She scooped up Aria and motioned for Henry to follow her out the door.

"Hold on, you don't have my number."

"I'm a private investigator." Emma called over her shoulder as she walked in the morning sunshine, "I can find you."

Almost a week later, Emma sat at the kitchen table with her cellphone and Neal's phone number in front of her like two cups of poison.

"I must admit love, I didn't expect it to take you this long to find his information." Killian remarked with false levity in his words. "You're usually so quick in cases like this."

She couldn't look at him. She felt almost responsible for bringing Neal into their lives, guilty for ever loving him in the first place. "I hoped he would stay in my past." Emma admitted quietly.

Killian went over to her and kissed her neck, "We all have old shames we'd rather throw into the sea, but the tide always brings them back."

"Did you read that in a book or something?"

"It's something my mother used to tell me and Liam." he answered. With a gently hand, he made Emma look him in the eye, "Tell me what you think will happen if you dial that number."

"He'll hurt Henry." Emma whispered. "He's gonna try to be Henry's dad, but eventually he's gonna let him down; disappear, get him in trouble, something. You know his fiancée's pregnant? What if he decides he prefers the baby to Henry? I know, we had Aria, but we didn't neglect Henry when she was born. Neal might just…"

"Hurt you again?" Killian guessed.

Emma's eyes widened, "No! That's not what I'm worried about! I love you."

"I'm not stupid enough to think you feel nothing for the man who fathered your son." Killian chuckled bitterly.

"Our son. Your son." Emma insisted, "You're Henry's real father. You held him when he was born."

"By a trick of fate. If I had gone on a different subway…" Killian stood up abruptly and began to pace. "If he hadn't left, I wouldn't be your husband and Henry wouldn't be my son."

Emma got up, put her arms around Killian, and kissed him, slowly and deeply. As he melted into her embrace, she whispered, "But you are my husband, and Henry is your son… Neal being here isn't going to change that. He can't possibly replace you."

Killian leaned his forehead onto hers, running his fingers through her hair. "You're right. I don't know Neal, and I can't presume to predict him, but we can't let fear of what he might do throw us off balance."

"Are you saying I should call him?"

"Is that what Henry wants? To meet his biological father?"

Emma held her husband tighter, "Yes. He won't admit it – I think he's afraid of hurting our feelings – but I can see it in his eyes. Not that I can blame him. I've wondered about my biological parents all my life."

"Does he know everything? About what happened between you two, I mean?"

In response, Emma shook her head.

Killian slowly broke their embrace, "I'll go get him." He found Henry in Aria's room trying to teach her a card game.

"Hey Daddy. Do you wanna play too?" Aria asked, waving her handful of cards.

"Actually your mother and I need to talk to Henry. C'mon lad."

Henry followed Killian into the kitchen, where Emma had resumed staring at the phone and the piece of paper Neal's number was written on.

"I am in trouble?" Henry asked as he sat across from his mother.

Emma shook her head, "No. This is about the man at the clinic. His name is Neal Gold, he's my ex-boyfriend… and he is your birth father."

"I figured." Henry replied in subdued voice. "Do I have to call him "Dad" now?"

"Not unless you want to." Emma responded, "I'm not going to force you to accept him, but if you want to get to know him, I won't stop you either."

Henry cast a glance at Killian then looked down, ashamed, "I…I'm curious."

"That's fine." Killian nodded, "Nothing wrong with being curious."

"You're not mad?" Henry asked him.

Killian ruffled Henry's hair, "At you? No, son. You haven't done anything wrong. It's perfectly understandable that you'd be curious about your birth father. Everyone wants to know where they came from."

At that statement, Henry relaxed and smiled a bit. "Okay. Mom, why didn't he know about me? How come he was never around?"

"Your father left me a long time ago." Emma explained, desperately trying to keep her voice from cracking, "He was long gone by the time I found out I was having a baby."

"Do you know why he left?"

Emma shook her head, "Not exactly. I mean, we were… not living a good lifestyle. We got in trouble with the law. I think maybe he wanted something different. Maybe he didn't love me as much as I loved him."

"But you now you love Dad?"

"I do." Emma smiled. To prove her point, she took Killian's hand and kissed it. "I love him very much. And we both love you and Aria."

Henry smiled back at her. "So we can still be a family?"

"We'll always be a family." Emma promised.

"Can I just ask one more thing? You're a private investigator Mom. You could have found him at any time. Why didn't you look?"

"Because I haven't forgiven him for breaking my heart." Emma said honestly, "Because I'm afraid I will forgive him, and he'd find some way to hurt me again. But it's not just about what I want or what I fear; it's about you. Your feelings are just as important as mine. And if you want to know him, you have that right."

"Mom, I want to get to know my birth father too."

She nodded, "That's fine with us."

"Your mum has his phone number right here." Killian stated, "You can call him right now."

"I want to do that." Henry declared.

Emma punched in the number on her cellphone and put it on speaker.

"Emma?"

"Yes Neal, it's me."

"God, what took you so long? I was beginning to think you'd never call."

"Well I did, didn't I?" Emma replied dryly.

"So…what's his name?"

"Henry." she answered, "Henry James Jones."

"Jones?"

"My husband's last name. He gave it to Henry when we got married."

A brief pause. "Right. The little girl, your daughter, mentioned her "Daddy"."

"Yeah. Her name is Aria, and my husband's name is Killian."

"So, can I talk to him, Henry?" Neal asked.

Emma made eye contact with her son, "Sure. He's here now. I put you on speaker."

"Uh, hi Neal." Henry said tentatively.

"Hey there Henry." Neal replied. His voice was casual, but inside he was reeling at the sound of his son's voice, "I can't believe I never knew about you."

"It's…" Henry didn't want to say that it was okay, because it wasn't. Neal had hurt his mother; and pretty badly to, because she was close to crying and he had never seen his mother cry. Now, getting to know Neal didn't seem like such a good idea, "You do now."

"Yeah. We're lucky we ran into each other, aren't we? I promise I'll try to make up for the lost time."

"How's your fiancée?" Henry asked. "She's going to be kind of like my stepmom, right?"

"Right. Trust me, you'll love Tamara. She's so smart and caring and understanding. We're, uh, we're going to be having a baby."

"I'm going to have another sibling?"

"Uh huh. Sometime in February."

"Really? I was born in February!" Henry said excitedly, "That's how my parents met, actually. Mom gave birth to me on a subway, and Dad was the only other passenger so he helped her deliver me."

"Wow…" Neal said, shocked. "That's…interesting. So your stepfather's been around since Day 1, huh?"

Henry paused for a second, then replied, "Yeah. He's great and I love him." He looked to Killian, and Killian gave Henry's hand a gentle squeeze.

"I'm…I'm glad to hear he's been good to you." Neal stated.

He was glad. He wouldn't have been able to live with himself if he learned that someone was hurting his child. But at the same time he wasn't. How could he be glad to hear his son call some other guy "Dad"? This Killian Jones got to hold Henry as baby, and watch his first steps, and read stories to him, and take him to kindergarten for the first time, and teach him to ride a bike, and…

And Henry had his last name.

"You live in New York, right?"

"Yeah."

"We live in Boston, and my aunt and uncle do too. They're not really my aunt and uncle, we just call them that. They're my parents' best friends, David and Mary Margaret. Do you have any siblings?"

"Afraid not. I was an only child."

"What about your parents? My grandparents?"

Neal swallowed, "My mom died when I was young and my dad and I stopped getting along after that. I haven't seen or spoken to him in a really long time."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Don't be." Neal replied, "It's nothing."

"It's just, I've never had grandparents. Neither of my parents have any extended family. My dad had a brother, but he died before I was born."

"Well, you're getting a new dad and a stepmom and a little brother or sister." Neal tried to lighten the mood. "A whole new family to be part of."

"Um…" Henry didn't know how to respond.

Neal winced, realizing he was moving far too quickly. This was only their first real conversation! "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. I just…I just want to be part of your life. I've missed so much of it already."

"Can we just start by getting to know each other?" Henry asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, that's perfectly fine."