A communiqué from the front line delivered by Invader Sideos: What am I doing! Its 12:37 am on a week day and I'm starting a new project! AGGG! Warning this fic contains images of seriously bad things. Things that your mother would shake her head at. Just thought I'd warn ya. So people, this is it. The long promised and finally delived fic about Zim doing drugs. I have been lead to belive that something of this fics...content has never ever been ettempted before, if I am correct then this is a glorious day for us all and, most importantly to me, I will go down as one of the originals...to be rememberd for all time! My friends, writers, Zim fans, prepare for my minds current greatest achivement.

This is mostly written to the Sex Pistols and Motley Crue...it seemed strangely appropriate.

I don't own Zim, I am not Vasquez and I never want to be.

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Zim leaned forward, trying to get his pencil to balance perfectly on his desk. With immense concentration he slowly placed the pencil down onto the scarred wood, letting it stand upright, balancing on the eraser end. He agonisingly, carefully, let the pencil go and took his hand away, a smile growing quickly on his lips. His eyes lit up with delight as the pencil stood still and upright on his desk. Suddenly the bell rang out and the class began to rush out the room.

Zim watched in panic as the pencil wobbled and swayed on the desk while the crowds of teens tramped past. He was still sitting down as they finally left, the pencil still stood upright.He sighed and relaxed back into his chair, closing his eyes in relief and not noticing a hand come from the side and flick the pencil over. He sprung up to see the pencil fall of his desk. He looked up and growled furiously at the boy smirking in front of him.

Zimraised a fist to his rivals face and shook it furiously. "Do you know how long it took me to do that, Dib? ALL LESSON!"

Dib just chucked at him. "Well, you've got the rest of the day to keep trying, Zim. Come on, it's lunch time." Zim grimaced and followed the teenage Dib out the class.

It had been almost 6 years since Zim had arrived on earth. After a while he and Dib had stopped fighting over the earth, it had got to one point where they had almost killed each other and only just managed to save themselves. After that day, they had agreed to stop fighting to such dangerously violent levels. The agreement stood as long as Zim didn't try to destroy earth and kill Dib, then Dib would stop obsessively watching Zim and trying to expose him. They had become friends to the outside observer, but on closer inspection they still bickered and fought constantly.

Dib had aged, no longer was he a child, he was now a thin tall teenage boy. His appearance however had changed little, he still wore his black trench coat and glasses, and he still had the scythe like cowlick in his hair. However, sometime during the last 3 years Dib had began wearing sky blue arm warmers, which he was never seen without. To match this change Zim had also grown, by messing around with growth hormones that were strangely not present in his PAK he had managed to catch up to Dibs height in days, but he was still about a half inch shorter then him.

Zim walked alongside Dib, still fuming at the fact that Dib had toppled his pencil. "You will pay for that, you know. No one flicks over the pencil of ZIM!"

Dib rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, Zim, it was only a pencil."

They pushed through the lunch hall doors, still bickering. Even by the time they had sat down the 'pencil' argument was still raging. By the time Gaz sat down across from them they were almost at each others throats.

"Stupid stinky human!"

"Stupid slimy alien!"

"I am not SLIMEY!"

"I AM NOT STINKY!"

Gaz's growing growl shut them both up. A growl from Gaz meant they were arguing loudly enough to be heard over the already loud metal sounds from her ISlave, and it was never a good idea to annoy Gaz too much, or much at all really. Still, they gave each other one last evil glare before deciding to eat, or rather Dib and Gaz eating while Zim just played around with his food. After a moment of prolonged science between the two Zim looked at Dib's food, then looked at Dib's gloved hands.

If he hadn't been wearing his terrible disguise he would have raised an antenna in interest. "Why do you where those stupid glove-arm things?"

Dib stopped eating for a second to look at his arms, holding them out in front of him. His voice grew strangely reluctant. "Because."

Zim pressed again. "Because why?"

Dib snapped at Zim, his expression suddenly flipping to anger. "Because I want to, ok? You where your gloves all the time."

Zim looked at his own gloves and smiled. "Yes, but these are advanced Irken uniform gloves, and much better then yours."

Dib looked insulted. "What? My gloves are so much better then your gloves." Another argument erupted between the two that only ended when Gaz growled angrily. Again there was a moment of silence, before Dib decided to find a topic which hopefully wouldn't end in Gaz considering murdering the two of them.

"So," he said innocently "We've got that drug-ed class today."

Zim smirked "Yes, another chance to watch more pathetic humans destroy themselves."

Zim slumped back in his chair, crossing his arms and looking bored. The rest of the class looked similar, even Dib looked like he would nod off any time soon. The old black and white movie had been playing for several minutes, telling the class everything they already knew about every illegal drug under the sun. Zim groaned loudly in boredom and tried to see if the film was giving out any information that he could actually use. Despite the fact that he was no longer actually trying to take over the world himself, he still felt it was his invader's duty to collect information on the humans for when the armada came.

The screen flickered slightly, as a teenage jock and his perfect cheerleader girlfriend where presented with a handful of pills from an off screen person. A man's voice-over commentated on them, speaking for the jock and his girlfriend. "So, Billy, what do you do when you're at a party and someone offers you drugs?" The jock pushed the hand away. "That's right, just say NO." The film flickered back off and the lights flickered back on, relighting the room. The entire class groaned, stretched and yawned as the teens slowly came back to life. The teacher walked briskly to the front of his desk and leaned on it.

Zim and Dib's grade where taught by Mr Root, or as the class called him 'beetroot' because of his tendency to turn that particular colour when he got even the slightest bit angry. Which, since teaching Zim, was an awful lot. He was a balding man with a stalinist moustache. A harsh but fair teacher, he was nether hated nor particularly liked in the hi skool, but he was considered one of the best, if toughest, teachers there.

"Now," he casually started up. "There was one drug that wasn't covered in the film, so I can't let you go yet." The class groaned collectively and began to sit themselves back down again.

Mr Root cast them all an evil glare, but carried on. "This drug is relatively new to the scene, or so I'm told. It's called Aswermitus or A's...or so I've been told." Zim rolled his contacted eyes and decided to pay more attention to the class room window.

The teacher continued, despite the wall of bored teenagers. "This drug is hallucinogenic and also very highly addictive; in fact it's said to be possibly the most addictive substance known to the drug taking scene. It can lead to serious mental problems, weight loss and massive mood swings, the whole caboodle, kids. It is injected through the arm and can apparently be any colour; it's almost impossible to detect the drug through smell or taste and very small amounts can have a very big effect, which makes it perfect for dealing to you guys." A few of the class giggled and laughed, which Mr Root the advantage of to finish his talk. It was always good if you could send them out on a laugh.

"It's also very, very expensive, so that means none of you guys will ever be using it. Class dismissed." The students laughed quietly and began to file out the room. Zim got up and walked over to Dib, who was supporting his sleeping head on his hand that was supported by his elbow. Zim grinned viciously and decided to get some revenge for the morning's pencil insult. He side-punched Dib's elbow, sending his sleeping head crashing onto the desk and jolting the boy awake with a bang.

Zim laughed mercilessly and Dib gave him an evil look and picked himself off the desk. "Real funny, Zim. Come on, let's go."

The two argued all the way out the door and into the bright, but cold, mid-winters day. It was deep November and already the wind was picking up the cold chills of the coming winter. The trees had long since lost their leaves and their bare, lifeless arms, gave a subtle warning to the world that the time of short days and long nights was approaching. The people of the city had already begun wearing longer coats and Zim, Dib and Gaz were no exceptions. Dib had always had his trench coat, but Gaz seemed to have taken a leaf from her brother's book and had recently acquired herself an ankle long, black, trench coat also. Zim however, had begun wearing a militaristic looking, dull red, long coat as soon as the first leaves had began to fall from the trees. He had boasted about how the winters on Irk were so harsh that it used to be that only the strongest of the Irken people could have survived them to go on to breed, therefore only the strongest of their offspring would live to make their race pure of weakness for the next generation.

A few more insults and minor life threats later and Dib and Zim where angrily debating on which species could handle sunshine more while keeping just out of wrath range of Gaz. That didn't stop her from spinning round even now and then and threatening them to change the 'stupid subject' or be obliterated horribly.

A silence had just set in after Gaz had done just that and Dib, once again, started on a new subject. "So, what about that drug-ed class, eh? How boring was that?"

Zim grinned one of his rare grins of real humour. "Yes, I'm surprised that you can even remember it."

Dib faked innocence. "What? So I stay up late?

Zim continued regardless. "Ha, it was pointless anyway; we Irkens can survive any earth based chemical drug. I bet I could take a thousand...err...bits of that stuff and not even blink an eye lid."

Dib just bust out laughing, causing both Zim and Gaz to stop and turn around. Zim narrowed his eyes "What's so funny, earth monkey?"

Dib leaned against a wall and calmed down just enough to say. "You...on drugs...hilarious!"

Even Gaz cast a cruel smile and a short chuckle at the thought of it. Zim however, quickly grew angry. He clenched his fists and growled dangerously, but Dib kept laughing.

He roared and pointed a finger at Dib in an attempt to threaten him. "FOOLSIH HU-MAN. You dare insult Zim's tolerance of...stuff!"

Dib slowly picked himself up and, still shaking with laughter, wiped a tear from his eye. "Look, Zim, you couldn't handle any earth drug...ever."

Zim growled and poked Dib in the chest. "Yes I could, you stupid human. I am SUPERIOR!"

Dib idly slapped the hand away and turned to walk off. "Yea sure, whatever, Zim."

Zim glared after Dib as the boy walked off with Gaz, before angrily turning down the col-de-sac to his home.

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Ohhh, nice beginning I think. It will become more taboo later on. R&R please...or flame me! I accept reviews of all kinds, even really bad ones! (Someones got to give them a home.)