Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to J.K. Rowling. The themes were a creation after being inspired by several friends of the LGBT community gaining strength to come out. I am always awed by how much courage they have. I hope that this story shows that courage and inspires you, the reader, if you ever find yourself faced with the situation of a friend coming out or yourself. If you wish to see more background, let me know. I would be glad to write more.
It was time to stop hiding. He had been waiting for far to long.. the conversation was overdue but necessary. But how was he going to react? Seamus was his best friend and his top confidant; no secrets were ever withheld, beside this one- one that was larger than any before. His worse fear was that Seamus would hate him. But he could not continue on living in secrecy. It was unfair to everybody, including himself.
Dust was dancing in the air while a soft light passed through the windows. The boys dormitory was empty aside from Dean Thomas, who sat on his bed, staring at his best friend's unmade one. The sheets were tossed about as if he had just rolled out of it. A pair of socks lay at the edge threatening to join the pile of clothes on the floor. Seamus was the most untidy out of the five boys sharing the dormitory together. Dean was the most orderly, but he had his days. This was one of them. His attention trailed to the pile of textbooks and parchment on dresser. Torn up pieces of parchment littered the floor, a few joining the pile of Seamus' clothing. He attempted to do his Transfiguration homework but became distracted. Today was going to be the day.
He anticipated the knock the echoed on the door minutes later. By the sound of dragging feet, he knew that it belonged to Seamus. Dean's heart suddenly began to race rapidly as if he were readying himself to jump from the window of the Gryffindor tower... but worse. Jumping was probably easier. His hands were sweating and shaking, and in the most confident voice he could possibly muster he asked, "Hello?"
The door opened, briefly letting in light from the torches in the corridor. Seamus entered, his sandy hair looking more overgrown than usual. His hazel eyes widened with concern as he strode across the dormitory and sat on his bed, knocking the socks to the floor. A wad of dust exploded in the escaped light. Dean watched it, wishing to be as free as the particles with no conscious, just flowing through time and space with no worries- no concerns of losing their best mate.
"Are you alright?" His counterpart blurted out in a thick Irish brogue. Dean attempted to meet his eyes but found it impossible. There had to be someway to muster some courage- but he would not accept defeat. Today was the day. "What is so important to talk about?" he continued on.
Dean let out a long breath before placing his hands at his sides to stop himself from fidgeting with his robes, but that was not helping- he was shaking to much. He moved his hands under his legs as a compromise and inhaled deeply before looking at the face of the friend he could possibly lose forever.
"I.." His response was beginning worse than he could imagine, his voice was softer and was shaking. This was awful. He could feel his heart beating rapidly against his rib cage as if urging him forward, and before he lost the ability to talk altogether, he spoke as fast as he could. "I met someone."
He looked at Seamus, hoping that he understood what he said. There was no way he could go through starting over. His heart was beating even faster, more fast than he ever thought was possible. Apparently there was no limit to the amount of emotions an individual was capable of feeling. The thought both mystified and terrified him.
Seamus smiled, "Alright? How is this different from when you fancied Ginny or Parvati? Oh," he hesitated, "You think you met the one?" But he was not teasing Dean. With the impending war, finding love seemed pertinent. Each of their classmates appeared to be holding the hands of another everywhere they went. It was obvious what has happening, everyone was afraid of dying before experiencing the tremendous, wonderful, and overwhelming feeling of love.
"I know I did," Dean replied quietly. And he believed it. Even if there was not a war, he knew that he had found the one. It was very obvious that their souls were meant for each other. Life and the universe worked in its very mysterious ways to bring them together.
"Well then, who is she?" Seamus questioned eagerly. He loved to gossip, but he especially loved hearing about Dean's life and interactions. When Dean first started falling for Ginny, Seamus knew immediately. They spent hours discussing how he could ask her out. But this time it was incomparable. This was much more profound. There was no turning back from this moment- no matter what, Dean had to tell Seamus the truth no matter the outcome. He squeezed his hands into fists under his legs and slowly let them go, bringing them to fiddle with the front of his robes. With every second he tried to steady his breathing, but it was not helping. The impending doom of an oncoming panic attack was inevitable. The hours spent pondering over an eloquent and inspiring speech evaporated into the dust of subconscious that was floating around them. Suddenly, without sparing another moment of overpowering emotions, Dean grasped an invisible shard of bravery and spoke with the strongest voice he ever mustered,
"He. Him. His name is Oliver Rivers and we are in love."
As if he were a large balloon and someone poked him with a needle, he felt himself deflating and letting go of all the unwanted apprehension. Every emotion he had experienced for the past month was released into the world, left to latch onto another creature who was yet to find their moment of courage. For the first time in his life, Dean was no longer afraid to announce the truth behind his struggles.
"I am gay, Seamus." He announced before Seamus had a chance to reply. The ability to say it was magnificent. There were no boundaries, he was limitless. He felt as if he were a child with wings, free at last to explore a world that he had never seen before. The anticipation for the moment he would tell Oliver of his bravery was starting to fill him with excitement. Oliver would be so proud; and hopefully Dean's moment of courage would instill the tremendous feeling in him and allow him the ability to be honest. But as quick as his moment of glory erupted, it faded away when Seamus began to laugh.
Dean's large grin fell. Out of the thousands of reactions he imagined Seamus experiencing, being scoffed at was definitely not one of them. A feeling of anger started to boil in his stomach. Seamus easily had fits of anger but he rarely played down any serious validation made by Dean. "What's your problem?" He did not intend to raise his voice, but he was extraordinarily frustrated. Seamus would never be able to fathom the amount of apprehension that went into Dean's decision to be honest; there was no fear for the natural feeling of falling in love! For the rest of Seamus' life he would be able to confess who he loved to anybody because the women he would fall in love with were more acceptable than the men Dean would ever fall for! "Do you know what I have to deal with?" He shouted.
Seamus ceased laughing. It was a very rare occasion when Dean would raise his voice, no recent memory came to mind of a time that he had to at Seamus. He tugged his arms to his chest in defiance, ready to argue- his mind was on fire. Nobody, not even Seamus, had the ability to bring him down in this moment.
But Seamus did not argue back. He grinned his stupid half-dimpled smile, "Do you seriously think I did not already know this? You are awful at flirting and very obvious. It's embarrassing."
Dean dropped his arms to his side. "What? You knew?", he exclaimed. However, his annoyance did not leave. He suddenly felt another reason to be angry with his best friend. "You could have saved me all of this chaos!"
But Seamus shook his head, his smile slightly fading, "Mate, if I did that, you would have never gained the courage to speak up. You're going to need it in the future. I did you a favor... and I am so proud of you." Seamus jumped up from his bed and lunged towards Dean, enveloping him in a large hug.
"You have more courage than half of the men I know," he continued on. "I admire you."
A/N: Thank you so much for taking your time to read this story! If you desire to see more of this- I would be more than happy to write more!