Tonight I'm gonna hold you so close

By Alasse Fefalas

A/N: This fic has absolutely no relation to "Too late for goodbyes" and happen on a different universe of events. It's best read with the lyrics of Maroon 5's Daylight. With that said, READ ON!

EDIT: Lyrics are now removed. If you want to read the version with the lyrics, go to my tumblr and search for #the-mentalist-tonight-im-gonna-hold-you-so-close

Jane stood in the alley two blocks down her apartment, the shadows of the buildings hiding him from sight. He knew it was a huge risk to not have left straight away, but he couldn't leave without seeing her one last time. He heard the click on her boots on the pavement, loud in the stillness of the night. It was past midnight, and he had been waiting for more than four hours in that alley. Waiting for her.

Jane strained his ears, listening for another set of footsteps. If she wasn't alone, it would all be in vain. As luck would have it, she was. Jane cursed Abbott slightly, allowing her to go home alone in the middle of the night without her gun, but it gave him a chance to see her without getting himself caught.

As she walked past the alley, he reached out his hand and grabbed her wrist. Immediately, she rotated her wrist and grabbed his in return, twisting his arm, and turned to face him. A typical self defence move.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Jane cried in pain as quietly as he could.

"Jane?" Lisbon asked incredulously. Quickly, she let go of wrist, releasing him from the arm lock. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you," Jane said as he rubbed his sore wrist. Taking her hand, he pulled her into the alley and beyond. "Come on."

This is our last night, but it's late and I'm tryin' not to sleep
'Cuz I know, when I wake I will have to slip away

Jane walked briskly, his hand holding tight onto Lisbon's. He was afraid that if he loosened his hold, she would run away - not that she would, of course. He led her through empty alleys, avoiding as much time on the main streets as possible. At times, she would ask him where they were going, but he would simply shake his head in response.

Finally, they stood outside a small, rundown motel, its neon lights flickering at the end of their lives. Jane pulled Lisbon towards a door, unlocked it, and walked in, Lisbon following closely behind him. Once inside, he let go of her hand and locked the door. He was panting from the brisk pace he had set them. A sheen of sweat had formed on his brows. Wiping them on his sleeves, he looked at her. Her face was slightly flushed from the walking, her hair tousled in the wind. Her face was a mixture of confusion and exhaustion.

She's so beautiful, Jane thought.

"Jane, what are we doing here?" Lisbon whispered. "You shouldn't be here."

Jane stared at her. Without warning, he pulled her into a tight hug. He held onto her, his Saint Teresa. With closed eyes, he buried his face in her hair, breathing in her scent, storing it in his memory palace. He felt her arms wrap around him tightly. He nuzzled at her ear and whispered, "I'm sorry."

They stayed that way for a while, in each other's tight embrace, afraid that if they let go, the other will disappear. Slowly, Jane released her from his hold. Looking straight into Lisbon's green eyes, Jane couldn't keep his tears from falling. "I did it, Lisbon. I killed the bastard. In the end, he was just a man. A man who begged for his life," Jane said, shaking his head at the memory.

"Jane..."

"I saw them, Lisbon. When I was slowly choking him. I saw them," Jane cried as he fell onto his knees. Warmth engulfed him as Lisbon knelt down and pulled him close to her, arms cradling his head protectively. Instinctively, Jane wrapped his arms around her again. "After I killed him, I knew it was done. I was done. I was holding the gun... and I almost shot myself. But then I saw you, Lisbon. I saw you," Jane said, looking up at her. "You saved me."

"Thank god you're okay," Lisbon breathed. Her own tears were already staining her face.

"I'll be fine," Jane smiled as he wiped his face. Gently, he wiped the tears away from her cheeks. "I'm still here."

"You shouldn't be," Lisbon said, shivering under his touch. "The FBI is searching for you."

"I couldn't go without saying goodbye."

"Idiot."

Jane laughed. It was so typical of Lisbon to call him on it. He'll definitely miss it when he goes. Sobering at the thought, Jane said gravely, "I might not return."

Lisbon shook her head. "Don't come back, Jane. You'll only be throwing your life away. No one gets away from a murder charge twice."

"But I'll miss you," Jane said sadly.

"I'll miss you too," Lisbon said wistfully.

"I know," Jane said softly.

"Pretentious jackass," Lisbon laughed.

The sound of her laughter brought a large smile to his face. He loved it. He loved her.

The sudden realization made him stop. For ten years, he had been falling for this one person who knew him, inside and out, and would still miss him when he was gone. She accepted him for who he was - murderer and all.

Jane stared at the petite woman opposite him. Despite her obvious exhaustion, she was radiating. Her eyes were lit so bright, her smile wide. Smiling, Jane knew he was right. Lisbon loved him.

Jane cupped her face tenderly and stroked her cheek with his thumb. Bringing his face close to hers, he rested their foreheads together. He closed his eyes and listened to her breathing. He felt Lisbon's hands on his face; Her fingers grazing his five o'clock shadow.

"I want you, Lisbon. I want you so bad," Jane breathed. "But if I do, I won't be able to leave."

"Jane..."

Their lips were so close. He could feel it moving past his, a little graze at every breath she took. They were so close.

But he couldn't do it. He couldn't make her heart break more than it already had. He was content with just the fact that she loved him.

Jane moved his hands down from her face to her shoulders. Reluctantly, he pulled himself away from her embrace. "I have to go," said Jane.

Lisbon opened her eyes, disappointment apparent in her face. "Yeah, you should."

Standing up, Jane offered her a hand, which she gladly took. Once again, his gaze was fixed solely on her. It was like nothing else mattered. He pulled her into a hug again, this time shorter. He couldn't afford spending much more time on US soil. Pulling away, he smiled at her. "Bye, Lisbon."

Lisbon nodded in reply, her lips trembling. Jane forced himself to ignore it. Turning, he grabbed the doorknob. Just as he was about to open the door, he felt her hand grab his wrist.

"Jane, wait," Lisbon whispered.

Turning, Jane's eyes went wide when he felt her soft lips on his. Her kiss wasn't soft, neither was it gentle. It was rough and desperate. She pulled him down, and he let her, responding with as much love as she poured in. Their first, and probably last kiss.

Breaking apart, Lisbon smiled. "I'm not gonna apologize."

Jane chuckled back in response. "You don't have to." Jane gave her a peck on the cheek. "I really have to go now."

"Go."

Nodding, Jane turned the doorknob and pulled the door open. Looking back at her, he smiled softly and waved. Looking forward, he ran.

A/N: ... I'm sorry. Every time I hear this song, I keep thinking about them. I just HAD to write it! If you're wondering what song it is, it's Daylight by Maroon 5. (Personally, I prefer the Boyce Avenue cover.) Have a listen and cry along with me.

I hope you liked this story, even if it's heart breaking. I haven't written a songfic in a while so reviews are VERY much appreciated. Thanks for reading!