Don't judge me for this. It's an idea that I had, so I decide to see if I could write five hundred words and then maybe I would think of continuing it. I wrote a thousand pages in two and a half hours and I was hooked. I intend for there to only be two other chapters though, one through Nat's point-of-view and one through Ophelia's. I have not given up on my other stories, don't worry, instead I'm trying to finish and publish everything I have written starting with the one's that have the least amount of chapters. (At this current moment, I have about half the chapters written for half the stories I have written.)
When Julia was seven years old, her father told her she would one day be queen. When Julia was eight years old, Cesare told her she would be his queen. When Julia was nine years old, she kissed her brother like he was her king and her mother saw and yelled and cried.
When Julia Lannister was nine years old, her mother died giving birth to Tyrion and Julia couldn't help but feel like it might just be her fault a little bit.
-0-
"Julia, hand him to Jeyne," her father said sternly, and Julia hugged Tyrion closer to her, ignoring the nursemaid that tried to grab him. He was an ugly little thing, but he was her brother and Julia knew that her mother would want her to look after him. Neither Father nor Cesare believed her though, both saying that Mother wouldn't have been able to stand the stupid little imp. That had been the first time Julia had ever fought either of them. Mother would have loved Tyrion and she couldn't understand why Father and Cesare couldn't believe that.
Julia had demanded that they bring Tyrion with them to go greet them Princess Ariella of Dorne, and her younger son, the Prince Elios. Father had forbade it at first, saying that it would be an insult to them, but Julia didn't care. Mother had arranged for Prince Elios to be her husband before she died and he needed to know that she had two brothers, not simply one like Father and Cesare wanted to pretend.
Mother hadn't found someone to betroth Cesare to before she died. She would have done Princess Ophelia, Prince Elios' little sister, but it was well known that she had one bastard daughter and was pregnant with another.
Cesare called her a whore, but Julia thought that she was brave.
-0-
"I'm sorry," Julia told Prince Elios as he threw things into a trunk, preparing to go back to Dorne. "I really like you, but Father wants me to be Queen."
He smiled bitterly, and Julia looked down at the ground. She didn't like upsetting the Prince, but Father had told Princess Ariella no. Julia was going to Queen one day and that was it.
Julia felt his fingers trace down her cheeks and then he slowly raised her chin toward him. Julia forced herself to look at him. Prince Elios was kind and handsome and her marriage to him would make her a princess, just like her marriage to Rhaegar would. But a marriage to Elios would never make her Queen, like she would be if she married the Crown Prince.
Elios smiled warmly, but it did not reach his eyes. "Julia," he said slowly. "Do you want to be Queen?"
Julia blinked. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. Did she want to be Queen? Father wanted her to be Queen, and Cesare wanted her to Queen. Cesare even told her when she was Queen, she wouldn't need to have Rhaegar's children. She could have his. While Julia liked the idea of having Cesare's children, she also wanted to have some of Rhaegar's.
Julia wished she and Cesare had been born Targaryens so that one day they could get married and have children that they wouldn't have to hide.
"I don't know," she said, hating how small she sounded. She was a Lannister, she shouldn't sound small and her answer should be that she wanted to be Queen, but she didn't know. She had heard all her life that she was going to be Queen, and she had never thought of what not being Queen would be like.
Imaging it wasn't as hard as perhaps it should be, nor was it as bad as it might sound.
Elios sighed. "Do you really want to be looking back on your life and wishing you had taken your life into your own hands? That you had not simply followed your heart and done what you wanted to do?"
"And what if I don't know what I want to do?"
"I find it's very seldom that people don't know what they want, but rather they're too afraid to know of people's reactions to what they want."
He leaned down and kissed her cheek. Julia blushed. She had never been kissed by anyone that wasn't Cesare, though it wasn't on the lips like Cesare's always were. His kiss was warm and Julia had muttered, "Thank you," before running back to her room.
That was the last time Julia saw Elios before he went back to Dorne, and half a year later she heard that he was betrothed to Ashara Dayne. There was a pang in her heart she did not expect to have upon hearing the news, and she didn't like the smug smirk that Cesare wore upon hearing it.
-0-
"The wolf-bitch stole him!" Cesare screamed. Both he and Father were angrier about the upcoming marriage between Rhaegar Targaryen and Natalia Stark than Julia was.
Even after King Aerys turned down her father's offer of a marriage at the Tourney of Lannisport, even after her father took her to court, her family had held out hope that Prince Rhaegar would fall madly in love with her and beg his father to reconsider his decision.
But King Aerys had laughed when he announced to the entire court that Rickard Stark had accepted his offer for his daughter to one day become Queen. Natalia Stark was due to arrive in a few days at court with her father and a brother. Leon, according the gossip her bedmaids whispered, the Knight of the Laughing Tree. He had been fostered at the Reach, one of the youngest knights in the realm, and though he had refused to let himself be anointed by a septon, he had been knighted by Ser Arthur Dayne himself, a man that Julia found herself constantly blushing whenever he walked by her and who was Prince Elios's good-brother. Unfortunately, he was a member of the Kingsguard and even he wasn't, he still a second son.
"How could the King do that!?" Cesare screeched. "You should be Queen after that pathetic mess that barely deserves the title now! Not some Northern whore who's never even met Rhaegar!"
Julia didn't really think that was fair. Queen Rhaella was a kind woman that always had a smile for Julia. It wasn't her fault her husband was mad, and Julia was slightly glad about this marriage between Prince Rhagear and Lady Natalia. She wasn't sure she wanted to marry someone who had a father like that.
"It's awful, Cesare," Julia said, laying her hand on her brother's shoulder. It was easier to go along with Cesare's rants than try to argue. "I know that I would make a far better Queen than her."
"How if you couldn't even make the Prince look twice? If he couldn't fall for your looks, he should have fallen for your charm or your wit or something else! Whatever else! But you couldn't do that, could you?"
Julia flinched. Perhaps, she thought for the first time, she and Queen Rhaella were similar in ways that Julia had never wanted.
-0-
Her brother had found a million things wrong with the soon to be Princess, but Julia simply ignored him. Natalia Stark was beautiful.
She had long brown hair that she wore in a bun, but a few strands always seemed to be out of it, and solemn gray eyes that seemed to catch everything everyone did. Tall and slender, she may not be the woman that a man would look at in the beginning, but she was the woman that a man would want standing by him at the end.
Julia had talked to her future Queen once. Natalia Stark had been staring up at the Iron Throne one day when Julia walked into the throne room. They were the only two in it, and Lady Natalia didn't even notice Julia was there until she was standing right next to her.
Natalia hadn't jumped when she saw Julia. She simply turned to look at Julia and raised an eyebrow to show her surprise. "You're the Hand's daughter, aren't you? Julia, isn't it?"
The surprise Julia was feeling must have shown on her face because Natalia smiled. "I didn't want to appear like I knew nothing when I came to court, but I fear that I now have too many names rattling around my head that I can barely remember."
Julia could only think of one thing to say to that. "You probably should not have told me that. There's nothing to stop me from helping you make a fool of yourself."
Natalia arched an eyebrow. "The fact that you just told me that tells me that I can trust you." She smiled warmly at Julia and Julia was reminded of her mother as she did so.
Julia thought this northern girl was far too trusting, but she couldn't help liking the feeling of being trusted. Sometimes she felt like no one trusted her, though in turn she really trusted no one. Cesare was the only person she knew she could count on, but though Julia would never say it, she couldn't help but feel that Cesare only trusted her because he didn't think her capable of doing anything that could harm him.
She hated that feeling and wished it would go away, but never did. It only got stronger.
Julia excused herself and hurriedly left.
-0-
Natalia and Leon Stark looked enough liked each other that they could be twins, though she was in actuality four years older. Their looks seemed to be the end of their similarities however because where Natalia was solemn and proud, Leon was happy and always willing to make himself the butt of the joke, though of course no one though he was anything but a joke.
Anyone who had ever seen him fight could tell. He was dangerous and quick, and a constant companion to Princess Ophelia Martell, who had recently arrived at court to everyone's shock and surprise with her three daughters. There were even rumors that the next Sand Snake would be half-wolf, but nothing ever come from those rumors. Some part of Julia was oddly glad.
Leon Stark always seemed to find her whenever she needed company the most, company that was not Cesare and his fury.
The first time was soon after he and his sister had arrived, the night that Julia had talked to Natalia Stark in the throne room. Cesare had been ranting about the northern bitch and her dogs, but all Julia could think about was Natalia Stark and her trusting smile and her big gray eyes. Cesare hated her without knowing a thing about her, and to be fair Julia barely knew a thing about her, but she didn't really think Natalia Stark was a person you could just hate.
Not when she had a smile just like Mother's.
Leon found her in the garden were she had escaped, and the way he smiled at her made Julia blush in a way that Prince Elios or Ser Arthur had not been capable of. It was the way Cesare had used to make her, before he grew mean and bitter and furious. Julia was not quite sure what that meant though, and pushed the thought out of her mind. She didn't like thinking those things about Cesare, partly because she always feared that he would know what she had been thinking. It sounded ridiculous, and Julia knew she was being silly, but she still couldn't help it.
"My lady," he said and Julia dipped into a curtsey. "My lord," she replied, trying to look everywhere but his gray eyes. That was another difference between him and his sister. Natalia Stark's eyes were easily read and most importantly kind, but her brother's eyes were filled with passion and yet were incredibly hard to read.
"I don't want to take all of your time, but I just came here to say thank you," he told her. "You've been kind to my sister. Rhaegar told her that she could pick her companions here at court, and she choose you." Julia's shock must have been clear on her face because Leon's smile melted away and he quickly tried to go back. "That is, if you want to my lady. Nat would never dream about forcing you into anything, nor would I."
Julia liked the thought of not being forced into anything, and Leon Stark's talks with her soon became one of the two highlights in her life, the other being the times she accompanied Natalia Stark around court. The talks were never about anything important, mainly just little things about how nice she looked or how beautiful her voice or how he loved to hear her opinions on strategy because they were so interesting. Julia was always glad her father had indulged her with that small gesture in her childhood. Natalia Stark was amazing, and Julia knew that one day she would become the best queen the Seven Kingdoms would ever have.
Cesare was furious about how close she was getting with the Stark's, how she was betraying her family by doing so, but for the first time in a long time, Julia didn't care of her brother felt. She could never tell him that, but she could think it without feeling guilty.
She loved that she could do that.