So Stupid

by song of glory

Oliver Trask. Remember him? Of course you do. Now he's all alone, thinking about what he did wrong. Thinking about Marissa. He loved her, he really did. And then he threw it all away. OneShot, R&R

I can't do this anymore. I can't keep doing this to myself.

I'm so stupid. So stupid!

The girl I truly loved, she's gone now. Because I screwed up.

I had to be that way. I'm such a freak, a loser!

Clean and sober, eleven months.

Hah. What a lie that was.

Marissa, beautiful Marissa. I can't believe I messed it up.

Give it up, buddy, it's over.

Yeah, that's right. It's over. It's over for me.

I can't do this anymore. I hate myself more than anyone hates me.

This isn't for you, it's for me!

Click the gun into place. God, I'm sweating. I can't do this.

But I have to. I hate…I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate Ryan, I hate my addictions. I hate this.

I love Marissa.

Friends?! I'm in love with you! How can you not know that?!

I'll never see her again, either way.

Put the gun to your head, you loser. You have to do it.

God, the cold metal against my temple. It's soothing.

I can't do this. Why am I doing this?

Shit. I'm shaking too much. I can't hold the fucking gun steady.

People always come when you don't need them. So why isn't anybody coming now?

It's because I need them. I do.

Put my finger back on the trigger. It's the only way out.

I can see Marissa's beautiful face, the day that I cracked. I never meant to scare her, I swear. I swear.

The gun breaks the silence.

I'm bleeding, on the floor now.

I'm falling……dying…

I'm sorry.