I do not own ka, nor do I own anything associated with Diablo. Blizzard owns that, and Stephen King owns ka. Got it?

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Town Portal
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You boot up your computer, and sit back to wait for Microsoft's creation to get through playing with itself.

It is done. So you log on, insert your D2: LoD disc, and wait for it to stop playing with itself. For you are impatient today; very impatient. One of your friends has finally gotten Lord of Destruction, and he's logging on for his first foray into to the world of Expansion And you're going to be there to guide him.

Finally, it's ready! You get on, look for him, and find he's registered as an Expansion Character, but he isn't on. Oh well, you think, I'll just put him on my buddy list, and play a game of my own.

So you do. You're in Act II, happily bashing away with your Barbarian at all those Dung Beetles, when this retard god-player Necromancer logs on, goes hostile, and starts running at you! You get away for a bit, having put some of your points into increasing your running speed and stamina. The retard, despite his "godhood," falls behind, and you run onward. Idiot, you think, he hasn't put too much into his constitution.

You stop and try to cast a town portal. You hear the sound, but nothing happens! You start to panic; this can't happen! You've worked so hard, so long…

This line of thought is abruptly cut off by the agonized scream of your Barbarian as some retard god-player Sorceress logs in and casts Inferno at you. Naturally, you are incinerated immediately.

You stare, in shock. Unable to fathom what has just happened. Then, disgusted, you unplug the computer out of spite, and turn to go off and sulk.

You are stopped by the sight of a swirling blue-and-black… something. Whatever it is, it looks a lot like a… town portal?

No!!, your reeling mind screams. It's not real!!! While it does so, something pulls you forward, inexorably. You have time to think of one word, ka, before you are engulfed in a blue light…