Ok, while I'm waiting for the videos from Youtube to download, I saw this fanfic that a person made, and there was an accompanying music video for it. Ok, for me, it was a nice idea. I'm not dismissing it or anything, but… let's just say I could write my own version of it.
So, let us internalize…
Susan Pevensie, her point of view after they left Narnia… and a big WHAT IF scene if Prince Caspian ever blew her horn and she fulfilled her "You might need to call me again," promise.
Here goes!
Disclaimer: I don't own The Chronicles of Narnia. C. S. Lewis' creations. I own this story line. Thank you!
*
England, 1941.
"Aren't you coming, Phyllis?"
That voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and the gray, bleak train station filled my vision. Where was I? Enough sense was able to tell me that if I didn't get on the train soon, I'd be late for something. Late for what? I'd figure that out later.
Grabbing our bags, Peter, Edmund, Lucy, and I got on the train.
"I left my new torch in Narnia!"
I turned to Edmund. Narnia… weren't we just there a few seconds ago? The name brought a laugh to my lips. I looked at my brothers and sister, each of us exchanging looks, a secret smile shared between the four of us.
For the rest of the train ride, which I assumed was toward home to Mother, I tried to ignore the boy behind me, who kept nudging me and calling me Phyllis.
"Why's he calling you Phyllis?" whispered Lucy as she tugged on my uniform sleeve.
"That's the name I gave him. I don't want him calling me by my real name, he might stalk me," I whispered back. Too many times in the past have I seen lust in men's eyes whenever they came to Cair Paravel to court for my hand in marriage.
The past?
The past of Queen Susan the Gentle in the Kingdom of Narnia.
Or would that be the future Susan of London, England?
"Are you alright?" asked Peter when he saw I was rubbing my temples.
"Uh, yes," I answered. "Just a bit tipped off from the…travel," I chose my words carefully. I was glad when Edmund said our stop was next. I wanted to get away from the boy, and get back my orientation.
"Look, uh," I turned to the boy with spectacles.
"It's Charles," he supplemented, a wide grin on his face.
"Charles," I smiled out of courtesy. "It was nice meeting you. Good bye," and I grabbed my bags. Just before the train doors slid shut, I could hear him.
"See you on Monday!" he called.
"Looks like you found a friend," teased Lucy. I threw her a dark look. She and I went to the same secondary and finishing school, and she saw that I liked to keep to myself. It wasn't that I was anti-social. I just preferred to be left alone.
Making our way to a cab, we said our address to the driver. The road trip home was a quiet one, each of us lost in our thoughts. For some reason I knew tonight we would gather before the fireplace after Mother would finish with dinner and climb upstairs to her room to listen to the radio. Father still hadn't come home from the war, and Mother listened anxiously for updates on the warfront.
Once inside our room, I looked at our beds and nightstand. I placed my bag next to my study table and began to undress into my house dress. Pulling my hair up into a high pony tail, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I saw myself, but in my reflection, I saw Susan as a woman, as the skilled archer, as the High Queen of Narnia.
I felt shame boil in the pit of my stomach. How I had missed Narnia!
During the day we had been swept into Narnia again, I reflected what I had been thinking that morning during school hours. I had already accepted that Narnia was a place in my past, it was a place that yes, though I had dearly loved, and had been a beautiful queen, it was a place that we weren't going back to.
How long was I to wait for Aslan's call again?
Feeling the smooth ebony of my bow and the feather-light touch of my arrows made me feel I had found a part of me that I had lost. Memories of my hours of training and our numerous adventures while we were Narnian Royals surged through my mind as I lifted my prized possessions from the golden casket that had hidden them for 1300 Narnian years.
I lied down on top of my comforter, staring at the ceiling. My mind was still spinning. Was there such a thing as jet lag when traveling between worlds?
Mother noticed we were unusually quiet during dinner, but she didn't pry. After clearing the table, she went upstairs and the four of us sat before the fireplace.
"Do you remember, we would sit before the fireplace to meet when we were in Cair Paravel?" asked Lucy, settling herself next to Peter and leaning her head on his arm.
"Where we would make decisions about trade, treaties, and expeditions," mused Edmund.
"I remember," smiled Peter, his eyes staring at the flames.
"I'd forgotten," I confessed. They all looked at me. I sat down on the carpet next to Edmund. I cleared my throat to explain myself. "I had already accepted that we weren't returning to Narnia, even though for the past year I was fighting myself with the idea. I wanted to go back, but a louder voice was telling me not to believe it Narnia anymore. It was gone from us."
Peter shook his head. "Susan, trying to be smart, as usual."
"No," I defended myself. "I was trying to be realistic. And I guess I grew out of believing in Narnia."
"Su, I'm older than you, but I never stopped believing that we would return to Narnia," said Peter.
"Pete," I cut in. "Don't you get it? It's over. Both of us aren't returning there, Aslan said so himself."
"That's because you don't believe in Narnia anymore, Su," said Lucy. "I believed we would return, all of us," she emphasized.
"Yes, well," I looked away. "Some people grow up." I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. I never let them see me cry, but this time, I couldn't stop. An uncontrollable shudder raced through me as a sob escaped my mouth.
"Su!" Lucy was at my side at once. She turned my face gently with her hand.
"Lucy, I did believe in Narnia, deep down, I did. I wanted to return so badly I… and then we did return…" the sobs racked through me. "I…but I thought if I continued to believe, I would remain a child forever… but being back there, I didn't feel a child at all…"
I was blubbering, I knew. I wasn't sure if I made sense, but everything was pouring out, for the first time, I was letting myself be vulnerable, letting my brothers and sister see the child that wanted to cry out her thoughts, after being suppressed by the voice of sensible Susan.
"I want to go back… I want to go back…" I repeatedly whispered into Lucy's hair as she stroked my back. I dared not look at Peter or Edmund, for I guessed that their faces were lit with surprise and probably uncertainty as I opened up my feelings to them.
A few weeks had passed since the teary confession before the fireplace. Charles continued to pester me during the train rides. Lucy was ever by my side when time and schedule permitted. Peter and Edmund, though didn't speak about the incident, always had a hug or a comforting squeeze of hand to give me.
What gnawed at my thoughts, besides Narnia and wondering if Aslan would change his edict about me not returning to Narnia ever again, was of a man.
A king, actually.
He was my match in every way I could think of. We both thirsted for adventure. We both had strong obligations to the throne. And… he always seemed to be there at the most dire of situations, even when I didn't ask for his help, he would give it freely, and somehow, I found it difficult to resist.
Caspian.
When Peter and Edmund would be watching the television, or Lucy would be on the telephone with a classmate, I would sneak outback to the garden and sit by the pond, staring at my reflection. I did this every night for the next year, hoping, wishing. I guess in a sense I hoped that this would barter for the year I had "abandoned" Narnia in both my thoughts and in my heart.
Lost in my thoughts of Narnia, I didn't hear Peter, Edmund, and Lucy walk up behind me. But when they spoke, I wasn't startled. I actually welcomed their company.
"Pensive Pevensie," teased Edmund.
"I've been thinking much about Narnia," I admitted. I turned to them. "And not just because I know we are the rightful rulers there, but…"
"Caspian," finished Lucy. I looked up at my siblings and nodded.
"I love him."
Silence enveloped us. I knew my declaration was something they didn't expect, but they knew of the feeling. They all saw me run back into his arms and kiss him the day we left for our world.
"Children! Dinner!" called Mother.
We all began to make our way back to the house when we heard a swishing, swirling echo from behind us. We all turned and saw a yellow light radiating from the depths of the tiny pond. All four of us stood around the pool, wondering where the glow was coming from.
"Ow! Stop pulling!" shouted Edmund at Peter.
"I didn't touch you!" he shouted back, the rustling waters suddenly picked up to a near-deafening hiss of surging liquid.
"It's…" Lucy's eyes widened and a smile across her face. She looked deeper into the pool and looked up at all of us.
"Hold hands!" I grabbed Edmund's and Lucy's while Peter grabbed their other hands. Like an enormous vacuum, the waters of the pond surged up into a funnel and consumed the four of us, the pinching sensation all over our bodies intensified as a night-time England evaporated from our sight. Replacing it was a bright, high-noon sun behind glimmering emerald trees. The ground underfoot was forest floor, and a soft babbling river was somewhere to our left.
We let go of our hands, and looked around us.
"Do you think…?" Edmund let the question hang in the air. All four of us stood still. If this was indeed Narnia... how many years had passed in this world?
"Wait, do you hear that?" Peter turned his head toward the right. We looked at where he was staring it.
"Voices," whispered Lucy, "People talking."
"And a crackling fire," said Edmund.
"And lunch," I whiffed the air.
"We didn't have dinner," Edmund rubbed his stomach.
"Mother!" remembered Lucy.
"Don't worry, Lu, what years in Narnia are milliseconds in England," I assured her.
"Trying to be smart again, Su?" said Peter, raising his brows.
"No, I was just stating what Ed said the last time we were here, Your Highness," I mocked a curtsey to him. As we laughed, we saw Lucy making her way to the noise.
"Lu, no!" I tried to grab her hand, but she was already sprinting toward the encampment.
"They could be –" began Edmund.
"—dangerous," finished Peter.
"It's alright!" called Lucy over her shoulder as she broke through the tree line. Too late for hiding, Peter, Edmund and I ran after her, standing behind her ready to fight if the situation needed it.
"Telmarines," said Edmund, recognizing the armor designs. The men around the camp all turned toward us. Surprisingly, there were Narnian centaurs and talking animals among the men. The garble of talk soon died when all the men saw us.
There was an approaching crowd of other men, six at least, with three centaurs. They came into the camp, still talking, then noticed that the others were silent and staring. The leader of the crowd turned to where they looked, and his eyes widened with shocked amazement.
"High King Peter! King Edmund! Queen Lucy! And…" his eyes turned last on me. "High Queen Susan," he knelt on the ground as he addressed me. The rest of his men and soldiers too bowed before us, but I didn't see them. My eyes were fixed on the man who first knelt before us.
"King Caspian," I breathed, wondering if I was indeed dreaming, for I had dreamt of this moment before.
*