Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto/Naruto Shippuden people, places, or things.
Chapter 1 - Fiancée?
Ah, what the hell. Shut up you stupid alarm.
I grab my phone and with bleary eyes, look at the screen.
Where's that stupid 'x'?
It takes several attempts, but I manage to silence the alarm on my phone.
Argh.
It is 8 am, and I am not ready for another Monday of wonderful college classes.
Darn it! Why?!
I drag my legs so that they hang off the bed and push myself to stand on the floor, expecting the usual feeling of the rug under my feet, but . . .
What the hell?
My feet hit something sooner than I expect, and it is warm, and slightly squishy, but firm? I quickly scramble back onto my bed, putting my legs safely back on my bed and look down at the floor, where I see a TOTALLY HOT GUY LYING ON MY FLOOR!
Why the hell is some smexy guy on my floor?
I look accusingly at my sleeping roommate, but she's still asleep, and I'm sure that this isn't her friend. If anything, he looks like Hidan, my wonderfully sadistic . . . but he can't possibly be on my floor.
Must be a dream.
I decide to try to fall back asleep, so I lay my head on the pillow and pull my covers over my bare shoulders.
The next thing I know, I'm being poked by someone.
"Hrrr?" Yes, I know, the most dignified response to someone poking me.
"Hey, Jo, wake up." Ah, my roommate's whispering at me.
"Huh, why? Let me sleep."
"Jo, there's a guy sleeping on the floor."
"WHAT!" I quickly sit up. "I wasn't dreaming that?"
"Jo, is he your friend?"
"Um . . ." I look back at the guy on the floor. Now that I look at him again, he really DOES look like Hidan. But that can't be possible. I look at the time. 9 am.
"Conn, just go to class. I'll figure this out. I know him. Sorry about this."
Connie just nods and goes to leave for her first class. Man, do I feel sorry for her. She has 9 am classes. My first class today doesn't start until noon.
"Bye Conn."
"Bye." She leaves, closing the door.
I just sigh and wonder if I can possibly get onto the floor without stepping on this Hidan-look-a-like. Then I grin. Sometime while I was asleep, my panda pillow pet must have fallen to the floor, because the guy was using it as a pillow. Awww, so cute to see a really dangerous murdering psychopath sleeping with a pillow pet.
Is it safe to wake him? Ah, what the hell.
I grab my pillow and start prodding the guy's back with it. "Hey, man, you alive down there?"
His back is so beautiful. His skin looks so smooth!
"Yo, dude, wake up." The guy doesn't even budge, still sleeping.
Is he okay?
I carefully climb over the head of my bed to the chair, then to the floor and make my way over to the guy. I crouch down and put my hand on his shoulder. "Dude, wake up." He still doesn't do anything.
Is he sick?
I check his forehead, but he doesn't seem to have a fever. I realize that this is getting even more ridiculous, so I start shaking him more. Still not waking up.
Argh!
I start prodding his back with my foot while telling him, "Dude, get the fuck up. I can't deal with this shit first thing in the morning!" Really, pissed at this guy who is definitely dead to the world, I finally just step on his back using my heel and yell, "GET. THE. FUCK. UP!" just to have a hand grab my ankle and throw me to the floor.
"Shut the fuck up!"
Yay, a response.
"What the fuck was that for, asshole?"
"Fucking stop yelling, bitch!"
He did not just call me a bitch!
"Yo, asshole, you are sleeping on MY floor. I suggest you tell me who you are and why you are on my floor before I sic the police on you!"
"For Jashin's sake, bitches should fucking shut up before I fucking kill them." The guy finally sits up and glares at me. "Who the fuck are you, bitch?"
Did he just say Jashin?
"Tell me who you are first. You're the one invading my privacy." And stop calling me a bitch.
"Fuck no, bitch."
We just glare at each other.
There is no way that this guy is Hidan. That's not possible. This only happens . . . wait.
Glaring, I look his sitting form up and down. Now that I look closely, he really does have a forehead protector around his neck and an Akatsuki cloak around his waist. Plus all that vulgar language.
No way. Where's his freakin' scythe?
I then see it on top of my bookcase behind him. My glare becomes a concerned glance at the guy.
This guy is gonna be sooooooo much trouble.
"Fine, you don't have to tell me who you are because I KNOW who you are. But that doesn't matter at the moment. I want to know why you were sleeping on my floor with my pillow pet."
"Your fucking what?"
I point.
"It was fucking comfortable. Got a fucking problem, bitch?"
"Yeah, you better have not drooled on it in your sleep."
"Like I fucking drool in my sleep, bitch!"
. . .
After an awkward silence, I just sigh.
"Why are we even talking about this?" I smile brightly and stick my hand out to shake. "Hello sunshine, I'm Jo. You must be Hidan. Nice to finally meet you. I'm your fiancée."