Title: It's not easy
Author: Stormy
Disclaimer: I don't claim ownership to Inuyasha and cast.
Author's note: This is my first attempt at a real piece of fan fiction. This just came to me today when my power went out.
Also *** are flashbacks
And Italics is when the narrator speaks.
Please read and Review thanks a bunch.
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Superman (It's Not Easy) by Five for Fighting
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me
I'm more than a bird…I'm more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It's not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see
It may sound absurd…but don't be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed…but won't you concede
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me
Up, up and away…away from me
It's all right…You can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy…or anything…
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
It's not easy to be me.
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It was the night of the night moon. The night sky was clear. Inuyasha had left the group, went into the forest and sat down under a great weeping willow tree. Just as he sat down, he's transformation began. His normally golden eyes became a dark violet color along with his hair. The dog-ears became human ears and his claws and fangs disappeared.
"I hate new moon, I'm always so defenseless. It seems like everytime I turn human I get sereverly injured, and I'm unable to protect the ones I care about in this form."
This thought brought Inuyasha to think about one night, much like tonight that he had spent with his mother.
***Flashback***
"Inuyasha! It's time for bed!"
"Mama! I'm not tired, and the night is so pretty. Can I go out to play?" A younger version of Inuyasha asked.
"Honey, you know that tonight is the night of the new moon. You can't go out during a night like this, it's much too dangerous. DO you remember what happened when you went into the village to get your ball?"
"Yea," said a sad, near tears, Inuyasha. "An old man took my ball away and he was mean just like everyone else was and he called me names and he threathen me and…" Inuyasha could not finish what he was saying before be broke down into tears. He was sobbing hysterically. His mother held him tightly to her as he sobbed.
"MAMA!… Why… dooooo… they… HATE ME!!!" Sobbed a poor distressed Inuyasha. He was confused as to why anyone would hate him when he had done nothing to them.
"Shhhh, It's going to be all right child. Now, Inuyasha I want you to look at me." A teary wide-eyed Inuyasha looked at his mother. "They are afraid of you. People always fear what they don't understand. They fear you because you are different then they are."
"But Mama, I'm different then you and you don't fear me." A confused Inuyasha told his mother. "That because I love you, and they don't understand you like I do. I'm your mother and I could never hate or fear you no matter what. Do you hear me?" I love you very much and nothing can change that. That's why you can not go out tonight. Humans and Demons alike may try to harm you and I don't want to lose you, okay?"
"Okay, Mama." Sniffled Inuyasha.
"Now lets' put you to bed now, come on I'll tuck you in and tell you a story!" His mother told him with a smile on her face.
***End Flashback***
That was one of the few times my other ever smiled. The villagers always made it so hard for us. Mother was the only one who I could trust. I always knew from a very early age that Demons and Humans alike hated me. I don't belong anywhere. I'm not human nor am I a demon. I am a freak that no one cares about. My own brother hates me. Shippou, Sango, Miroku, Kagome, they will all leave me when the Shikon Jewel is completed. That's the only reason that they keep me around, so I can help to defeat the demons that have in their possession shard of the jewel. Miroku will go back to his home and continue to be a priest. Sango will go and continue to be a demon exterminator. And Kagome…
Tears began to form in his eyes. So deep in thought was he that he didn't even notice that it has began to rain.
Kagome…
She thinks that I'm still in love with Kikyo but that is not the case. I love Kagome with everything that I am. Even though I don't have much. Kikyo betrayed me once and it nearly killed me. I can't go though that kind of pain again. But that's not it. I can't stand to see Kagome hurt or in pain. Everytime I see her cry, a small part of me dies because I know that I caused her pain. I can't let her feel anything for me. I don't deserve it. She is good, angelic, yet earthly at the same time warm heated, and caring. Me, ha! I'm not worthy of her. Me, a half-breed freak who has everyone after him. That's why I keep her at an arm's length away. I can't, no won't see her or anyone else hurt because of me. Outside I have out on a cold-hearted mask that was the result of many years of being alone, betrayed, hunted, and feared. That's what I want everyone to see, the 'I'm pissed off at the world and don't mess with me' look. What they don't see is what's behind that mask. Inside I'm still a young child yearning for attention just like Shippou. A young child that is scared confused, lonely and yearning to be loved. I can't allow anyone to see that side of me. If only things where different. I find it harder every day to keep up my cold-hearted mask. My life was never and will never be easy.
I guess it's not easy to be me.
