AN: I'd like to thank tastethekiss for the beta. Also, I'd just like to point out that I've never been to Lima, but I'm sure it's much nicer than Puck thinks it is. Anyway, thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, or its characters. The title and one paraphrased line in this story come from the song 'Hold' by Saves the Day, which I don't own either.
Puck has always hated the end of the summer. Seriously, what teenager doesn't? The end of summer means no more freedom and no more girls wearing bikinis (it's kind of a toss-up as to which one he considers worse). But in Lima, the end of summer also brings the annual Founders Day Picnic, which is a big deal to its residents – there's a huge fair set up in the park, with rides and games, and the day ends with a fireworks display.
Puck's gone every year for as long as he can remember. The summer before third grade, Puck went to the fair, just him and his dad, because Sarah had gotten a fever or something. For the first time, Puck had been allowed to ride the "big boy" rides, the ones that went upside down, or plunged from stomach-dropping heights. Then, his dad had brought him to an awesome spot where they watched the fireworks, and they'd just talked, long after the show had ended (Puck's mother hadn't been too happy when they'd finally returned home, hours after Puck's bedtime).
Then, two weeks later, his dad left for work one morning and he never came home.
So, the Founder's Day picnic has always been a rather bittersweet occasion for Puck, but this year, he's basically dreading it. After this weekend, most of his friends will be leaving for college all over the country – Finn had already left weeks ago for training camp at OSU, Santana and Brittany left for California (Berkeley and USC, respectively) last week, and Quinn left for Arizona State a few days before the picnic. Although Puck had actually gotten his shit together over the last year (with the help of one bossy, loud-mouthed little brunette), it just hadn't been enough to get accepted to a four-year college. So he's sticking around Lima, taking classes at the community college, and working as a waiter at Breadsticks to earn some extra cash.
As much as he's going to miss his friends, he admits (to himself, anyway) that there is one person he will miss the most. For whatever reason, Rachel Berry had decided that one of her senior year goals (in addition to getting in to Julliard and taking first place at Nationals) would be improving Noah Puckerman, despite his protests that he was already awesome. But really, what Rachel Berry wants, Rachel Berry gets, so Puck had found himself doing his homework, going to class, and studying in the library with her every day after school. It hadn't been too bad though – his mom had been thrilled that he was finally "applying himself," and it was nice to see her proud of him for once (and of course, she loved Rachel).
Sometime around Sectionals, he'd realized that he had totally fallen for Rachel, but she was still with Finn, and even Puck wasn't enough of an asshole to steal his best friend's girl twice. Just before Regionals (Puck has no idea why all the drama always seemed to happen around their competitions – it was like a curse or something), Rachel found out that Finn hadn't applied to any colleges outside of Ohio and lied to her about it, which led to their final breakup.
After that, Puck figured there was no point in making a move – he wasn't leaving Lima either, and if she wasn't willing to do the long-distance thing with Finn, then what hope did he have? When she'd gotten accepted to both Julliard and NYU, and he hadn't been accepted anywhere (including NYU, although he didn't tell her he'd applied there), he knew he'd made the right decision. So he was her buddy and her shoulder to cry on, and except for one drunken makeout session in a hotel room after they'd won first place at Nationals (which neither of them had ever mentioned again), he never let himself forget that Rachel Berry was destined for something greater than Lima. And him.
When the Founders Day Picnic finally arrives, Puck spends the day with his friends at the fair, playing stupid games for prizes he doesn't want, eating junk food, and going on the rickety rides. He tries to relax and enjoy himself, but as the day progresses, he finds himself sinking into a deeper and deeper funk. To make things worse, his mom said he had to let Sarah and her friends tag along, and they keep whispering to themselves and giggling whenever Sam comes near.
Puck scowls; he's going to have to keep an eye on that. Other than Puck, Sam is the only other gleek who's staying in Lima. Although he'd been accepted to the University of Oregon, he'd decided to defer for a year – his father had finally gotten a new job after nearly a year of unemployment, and the Evans family was finally able to move out of the motel, but Sam wanted to make sure that his family was completely back on its feet before leaving for college.
Eventually, Artie and Blaine start demanding something sweet and deep-fried, so the group makes its way to the food stands. Puck stands off the main walkway with Sam as Parsons (Kurt), Columbia (Blaine), UNC (Mercedes), and Julliard (Rachel, of course) stand in line to buy funnel cake, and University of Chicago (Mike), Northwestern (Tina), and UCLA (Artie) wait for deep-fried Twinkies. Eyes narrowed, he watches as Blaine says something to Rachel that makes her throw her head back and laugh. Damn, she's beautiful.
Sam nudges him. "You're doing it again, aren't you?"
"What?"
"Calling everybody by their college names in your head. Stop."
Puck shrugs. "I can't help it."
Sam cocks an eyebrow at him. "Okay, then can you please stop looking at Columbia like you want to rip off his arms? One, he's gay, and two, he's in a serious relationship with Parsons, so he won't be going after Julliard."
"Whatever," Puck snorts. "I didn't even notice him talking to her. I'm just annoyed at my sister and her friends. They're totally crushing on you."
"Jealous?" Sam asks with a grin.
"No," Puck says, "they're in middle school, jackass."
"Nice try, but I wasn't talking about Sarah and her friends, and you know it," Sam says, rolling his eyes. "I've been telling you all summer, just tell her how you feel already."
"What's the point? She's leaving in six days," Puck points out.
"Yeah," Sam agrees. "But then again, she's still here for six days."
Puck sighs. He and Sam have been going back and forth about this ever since they'd started working at Breadsticks together. He's not sure why Sam won't let it go. He glances at his phone to check the time.
"Hey, Sarah," he calls to his sister. "It's nearly seven thirty. I told Carrie's parents I'd bring you guys back. You're gonna watch the fireworks with them, and then they'll take you to whatshername's house for the sleepover."
"Awww," Sarah whines. "Already? Can't we just stay with you?"
"Hell, no," Puck says flatly.
One of her friends giggles and whispers in her ear, and Sarah's face lights up. "Well, then can Sam bring us instead?"
He glares at Sam, who has turned beet red and is suddenly finding the menu at the funnel cake stand absolutely fascinating. "No, I'm taking you."
Sarah makes a face at Puck, but one of her other friends bats her eyelashes at him. "That's okay with me," she says, in what he assumes is supposed to be a flirtatious tone.
Sarah whirls around, furious. "Lilly!"
Rachel walks up to the group with Kurt, holding a plate of funnel cake covered with strawberries and whipped cream in her hand. "What's going on?" she asks curiously.
"Oh, I just have to bring these children–" he looks pointedly at Lilly, who just smiles and bats her eyes at him, "back to their parents."
Suddenly, Rachel stumbles. Puck manages to throw his arm out, catching her before she falls over. He notes, somewhat impressed, that she managed to keep the funnel cake upright.
"Sorry, it must be these new shoes, they're a little higher than I'm used to," Rachel apologizes as she straightens up, glaring at Kurt for some reason. She gives the plate to Puck and puts a hand on his arm, steadying herself as she fixes her shoe strap with her other hand.
"Well, we must suffer for fashion, darling," Kurt says, shrugging carelessly. "Besides, those wedges make your legs look divine."
Puck eyes sweep over said legs. He has to admit that Kurt has a point.
Her shoe fixed, Rachel straightens up and turns to Puck. "I'll go with you," she offers. She takes a bite of funnel cake before handing the fork over to him.
Sarah shrugs. "Fine, I guess. Could you at least walk behind us, so it doesn't look like you're babysitting us?" Rachel nods, and Sarah gives her a hug. "You're the best, Rach! You're so much cooler than my stupid brother." She turns to her friends and they head off in the direction of the barbecue pits and picnic tables, where Carrie's parents have staked out a place.
"Love you too, Sarah!" Puck calls sarcastically at her back. Sarah flips him off without bothering to turn around.
Rachel laughs and falls into step with him, following the group of giggling girls.
"Thanks for keeping me company," Puck says, digging into the funnel cake as they walk. "I think Lolita over there probably would have clubbed me over the head and had her way with me if you hadn't."
Rachel nudges him with her shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll protect you from the big, bad twelve-year old," she says in an exaggerated tone, before bursting into laughter.
It takes them about ten minutes to make their way across the park and find Carrie's parents. Once they've left the girls with the adults, Puck and Rachel start heading back the way they came when they realize that they hadn't settled on a place to meet up with their friends. Puck calls Sam and Mike, but neither boy picks up their phone, and Rachel doesn't have luck reaching any of the others either.
"Well," Rachel says with a shrug, "we could start walking towards the food stands. They couldn't have gone too far, and maybe by the time we get there, someone will have called us back."
Puck is about to agree when his eye falls on a familiar pathway. "I've got a better idea. Come with me," he says, sticking out an elbow. She grins and loops her arm through his as he leads her away from the crowd towards the slightly overgrown pathway. The path winds uphill through a wooded area and opens up to a clearing with a few picnic tables. He helps her up onto one of the tables, and takes a seat beside her. From their vantage point, they can see most of the fair sprawled out below them.
"I don't think I've ever been to this part of the park before. This is a fantastic view!" Rachel says excitedly. "Why aren't there more people here?"
Puck shrugs. "They block off the main path, over there," he says, pointing to a spot opposite the path they'd used. "I guess they want to keep the crowds in certain sections of the park, and most people don't know about the back pathway that we took. My dad took me here to watch the fireworks once."
Rachel scoots over and rests her head against his shoulder. "Well, thank you for bringing me."
They sit in companionable silence for a few minutes, watching as the sun starts to set and the lights from the fair start turning on. Well, Puck assumes she's watching the lights; he's trying to breathe in the scent of her shampoo without her noticing.
Rachel takes her head off of his shoulder and prods his foot with her own. "So, do you want to tell me what's on your mind? You've been pretty quiet all day."
Puck hesitates for a second. "Nothing, really, it's just that…after tonight, everything will change. I mean, Artie and Mercedes are leaving tomorrow, and the rest of you will be gone by this time next week. I guess I just feel like I'm getting left behind."
"Oh, Noah," Rachel chides him gently. "It's natural to be afraid of change. Anyway, you're not stuck here forever. It may take a year or two, but you can transfer eventually, and leave for LA, or Chicago, or…or New York. And Lima's not that bad."
"Lima's a shithole," Puck says fiercely, "full of shitty people, and it's gonna be even shittier once you're gone."
Rachel backs up from him, her eyes wide. Shit. He hadn't meant to scare her. Looking at her expression, all the thoughts and frustrations that have been churning in his mind all day come bubbling up, and something inside him just snaps. He's just so pissed off, mostly at himself. He's angry that he wasn't good enough to get in to college, that he was one of those shitty people that made Rachel want to leave Lima so badly, and that he was too much of a dumbass to tell her how he felt about her.
"You say that I'm afraid of change," he continues, his voice rising, "but my life isn't going to change, is it, Rachel? You're gonna go off to Julliard, and meet new people, and basically have an amazing life, and I'm going to be stuck in Lima, forever, because I'm a fucking idiot!"
Rachel scowls. "You're not an idiot, Noah –"
"Yes, I am!" He shouts. "I spent years being an asshole to you, when we could've been friends, and then I spent this last year being your friend when I wanted to be your boyfriend!"
Her jaw drops, and she stares at him in shock. Puck's anger leaves him as quickly as it came, and he runs his hand over his scalp, shaking his head. "Fuck, Rachel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."
"Noah –"
A little embarrassed, he can't bring himself to look at her, but now he's determined to tell her everything. "I mean, of course I'm happy for you, you're gonna be awesome and Julliard'll love you, but I'm really gonna miss you."
"Noah –"
Now that he's started, Puck can't seem to make himself stop talking. "And I really should have listened to Sam and told you how I felt months ago, but I didn't want to hold you back, and now that seems so stupid, because at least we would've had some time together, and now it's too late –"
"Oh, for goodness sake," Rachel grumbles. In one swift motion, she straddles Puck's lap and wraps her arms around his neck, then brings her lips down to meet his. It takes Puck a few moments to realize what's happening, but when he does, he slides his hands around her back to pull her closer, and smiles briefly against her lips before deepening the kiss.
Eventually, Rachel pulls away slightly, then rests her forehead against his. "Fireworks," she murmurs breathlessly.
Puzzled, Puck looks up at the empty purple sky. "But it's not completely dark yet."
"Never mind," she says with a little smile. "I apologize for interrupting you earlier."
"Baby, as long as you do it that way, you can interrupt all you want," he replies with a tiny smirk.
She smacks his shoulder gently. "I take it back, Noah, you are an idiot," she says in a playful tone. "But so am I. I've wanted to be with you for, well, for a while now. I was too afraid to let you know how I felt."
"Wait a sec," he says, leaning back on his hands. "You were afraid? But you chased Finn around for, like, two years, even when you knew he didn't want you. Uh, no offense."
"Yes, and that worked out so well for me, didn't it?" she says, a little sarcastically. She shakes her head and smiles slightly. "I guess I didn't want to make the same mistake with you. I should have known that you were different. "
He sits up and kisses her nose quickly. "Damn straight I am."
Rachel giggles, and kisses him again. Sometime later, Puck absently traces his initials on the smooth skin of her thigh as he mentally curses the thought of how quickly the next six days are going to pass.
"What are you thinking about?" Rachel asks softly.
"I'm thinking that it sucks that we only have six days left together," he admits. "I hate having to lose you when I just got you."
She pulls back a little and frowns. "What do you mean?"
He shrugs. "Well, I wanna be with you, but you're still leaving for New York, and I'm staying here. Isn't that why you broke up with Finn? Because you didn't wanna do the long distance thing?"
Rachel relaxes and puts her arms back around Puck's neck. "Did I ever tell you that I got in to OSU? Finn had suggested that I apply, just as a backup, and so I did, on the condition that he apply to NYU." She smiles wryly. "I was sure I could convince him to go, and I'm sure he thought he could do the same. And then I found out that he didn't even try. I know that Finn loves Lima, and that he wants to settle down here, and live in a beautiful house, with kids and a golden retriever, and have the neighbors over for barbeques on the weekends. He even has a neighborhood picked out."
"Near Maple Street?" Puck asks. He and Finn used to ride their bikes around there sometimes when they were kids. It's nice, with tree-lined streets and huge old houses with large manicured lawns. The boys used to play a game where they'd pick a house and make up stories about the people who lived in it.
She nods. "I didn't think it was fair for him to ask me to give up all my dreams so that he could have his, and then I realized that I was doing the exact same thing to him. We want such different things, and we just couldn't figure out a way to make us both happy."
"And me?" Puck can't help asking.
Rachel idly strokes the back of his neck, fingertips running over the spot where his hairline begins. He can't suppress a shiver, and she smiles smugly. He just smirks at her – he'll get her back later.
"You…I know you're still trying to figure out what you want to do. But I know you, and you'd never ask me to give up my dreams, even if they didn't match your own.You'd try to figure out some way to make it all work, even if you decided to…I don't know, raise alpacas in Peru, or something."
"Hey, how'd you know I've always wanted to do that?" Puck teases her. He knows she's right though – her dreams and her ambition are part of what he loves about her; he couldn't imagine asking her to give any of it up. It would be like asking her to chop off her left arm.
Rachel rolls her eyes at his joke. "And you want to leave Lima as much as I do. We could maintain a long-distance relationship for a while, and eventually you could join me in New York." She blanches. "Um, I mean, if you wanted to. I didn't mean to assume…"
He grins and pulls her closer so that he can kiss her again. He figures that his answer is pretty obvious.
Rachel insists on stopping when the fireworks start, since she wants to remember her last Founders Day fireworks show. Puck reluctantly complies, but only after she agrees to stay in his lap. She repositions herself to lean back against his chest so that she can see the show. He wraps his arms around her, and as they admire the colorful display he has to admit that just sitting with her is pretty awesome too. When the last sparks fade, Rachel sighs contentedly. "Best Founders Day ever."
Puck has to agree. Moments later, both of their phones begin to chime, signaling incoming text messages. Puck glances at his screen and rolls his eyes. "Oh sure, now our friends want to know where we are."
Rachel smiles ruefully at she scans through her messages. "I suppose we should at least make an appearance at the party."
"Well, it is at your house," Puck points out as he brushes his lips behind her ear. He feels her shiver slightly and he grins triumphantly. Despite his words, he's not in any particular hurry to leave, so he's disappointed when she pulls away from him and moves off of his lap.
"Look at it this way," she says with a suggestive smile, "the sooner we get there, the sooner we can ask everyone to leave. Did I mention that my dads will be in Chicago until tomorrow night?"
Hell yes. Puck hops off the table, and holds out his hands to help her step down. He laces his fingers through hers, and as they head towards the pathway a thought occurs to him. "Hey, will you be okay walking down the hill? It's dark now and the path's a little steep. I know you had trouble with your shoes earlier."
Rachel snorts. "Please, I was Little Miss Lima for three years running – I practically grew up in heels. The only reason I stumbled was because Kurt pushed me."
"What? Why would he do that?"
"I believe that was his 'subtle' way of suggesting that I go with you and your sister," she says wryly. "I was going to anyway. I wanted to keep an eye on that little wannabe temptress."
"Jealous?" he teases her.
"A little," she admits, "but only because she was flirting with you when I was too chicken to do it myself."
He pulls up their entwined hands and places a kiss on her fingers. "Idiot," he says affectionately. They take their time walking to Puck's truck, and he drives deliberately slowly on the way to her house in order to maximize their alone time.
Puck pulls his truck into her driveway. Kurt's SUV and Mike's Civic are already parked on the curb, and their friends are chatting on Rachel's stoop, waiting for the two of them. But as he's about to open his door, Rachel puts a hand on his arm to stop him. "Noah, we're going to make this work, I can feel it. I am a little psychic, you know." He rolls his eyes good-naturedly. He knows, she's mentioned it frequently. "Just promise me one thing? No secrets. If we had just been honest with one another, we wouldn't have wasted so much time."
Puck considers her request. Besides hiding his feelings for her, he's always been pretty honest with her (often brutally so, actually), so he doesn't think it would be all that hard to keep that promise.
And he's right.
Well, mostly.
About two years from now, he'll get an acceptance letter from NYU, but he'll keep it a secret from her (mostly because he's afraid the school will realize they made a mistake and send a correction, and he doesn't want to get her hopes up for nothing) until the day he arrives in the city and knocks on her apartment door.
When they move in to their first apartment together the following year, he won't tell her about the giant rat he sees scurry across the floor just as she's signing the lease (hey, they'd looked at thirty-six different apartments already, and that was the first one she'd deemed "tolerable." He never saw the rat again anyway).
A few years after that, he won't tell her about the ring that he spends four days searching for with Kurt, until he drops to one knee on a warm summer night and pulls out the ring box.
Of course, Puck doesn't know about any of that yet, so he merely grins and drops a quick kiss on her lips. "I promise."