Author's note before reading: Hi there everyone! As you probably already know from the description this is a tale of what it would be like if the people I went to school with became homunculi. Who represents which homunculus is listed below for convenience. If you didn't go to school with me and have no idea who any of these people are, never fear! You can still enjoy this story at face-value or you can imagine some of your own friends as being the homunculi-actually it's probably funnier that way...

Lust—Alex

Gluttony—Daniel

Envy—Geoff

Greed—John

Sloth—Kelly/Raquel

Pride—Miranda

Wrath—Crystal

"EN-VE!"

"Wrath? What did Envy do now?"

"Lust, that sonofabitch STOLE MY MINI-SKIRT!"

Envy comes prancing in wearing said mini-skirt and a black tank-top…and nothing else. "Hey you guys; look at me~! Oh~ I feel pretty, Oh so pretty~ I feel pretty, and witty, and gay~ !" Lust sighed, "Envy's high again, no wonder." Wrath squealed, "Eew! That's nasty! Damnit, give that back!" she lunged at Envy but Envy was doing some weird dance that involved him spreading his legs, putting his hands on his knees, and shaking his ass: unfortunately, she was in the perfect position to view a particularly choice part of Envy's anatomy—which made her even angrier than before. "Rrrr—OD DAMN YOU! Aah!" she yelled, then ran after the erratically dancing Envy, knocking over almost everything in her path.

As soon as Wrath left the room (via stage left) Pride came in (via opposite direction). "Wrath's at it again? At this rate, there won't be anything left of the place" she said. Lust only sighed and crossed her arms, walking off while saying, "'Lust the scheamer', 'Lust the peacekeeper', I'm so sick of being the group-proclaimed boss, but it seems I'm the only one who's brain hasn't gone to pot since becoming a homunculus. For all I care Wrath could blow this place to Kingdom-come." This deeply offended Pride whom crossed her own arms and glared contemptuously at Lust's disappearing figure while thinking 'My brain hasn't gone to pot! …it was already that way' before storming off to her room to sulk for her injured namesake.

Meanwhile…

Wrath had cornered Envy in the spiral stairwell leaving him with only one option of escape: Greed's room. Envy was no longer high and even though he liked fighting, he knew Greed didn't like being disturbed and would most likely side with Wrath in kicking Envy-ass if there was a commotion outside his door. "Good Wrath, nice Wrath," coaxed Envy while removing the mini-skirt, "easy girl" shakily handing it over. Wrath had been glaring holes in his head, she only looked down when he handed it over and that's when she noticed—he hadn't been wearing any underwear. Wrath twitched, 'He was wearing MY MINI-SKIRT with NOTHING UNDER IT?' Wrath narrowed her eyes. Oh yeah, Envy was gonna die.