Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. That privilege belongs to the wonderful J.K Rowling.
Hermione Granger sat on the windowsill and stared out across the Hogwarts grounds. The war memorial set up in memory of the dead heroes sat to the left of the entrance. It was a beautifully delicate statue made of ice, charmed to never melt. The names of every person who had died in the war were carved onto its surface.
She despised it. The constant reminder of the dead only served to deepen the hurt caused by memories of the war. Memories of atrocities that she would give anything to forget. Memories that had left her broken.
Harry and Ron had not returned to Hogwarts with her. Harry was to scarred by all he had been through in the war to even consider returning so soon and Ron wasn't interested in continuing his education. Although she missed them she was glad of the solitude. Since the war her life had been a confused mess. She had had to put on a brave face for her friends and be the pillar that held them together but no one seemed to notice the hurt and scars that she herself carried.
Just as her vision began to blur she was jolted from her reverie by the sound of footsteps coming down the corridor. She withdrew deeper into the corner of the ledge, between the wall and the window, wishing for Harry's invisibility cloak. The footsteps slowed down and stopped next to her but she didn't look away from the window.
"Granger" a shocked voice exclaimed.
She knew that voice only to well. How often she had heard it spit insults at her in the halls and whisper disgusting comments about her blood as she passed.
"What do you want Malfoy?" she growled. She didn't have the patience to deal with him at that moment.
"Nothing" he replied quickly. "It's just… I've been wanting talk to you for a while and-"
"And what?" she barked. "And tell me how filthy my blood is? Trust me Malfoy, I already know. I've had to look at the result of it carved into my arm for the past year"
She was yelling by now but she didn't care. How dare he approach her after all he had done?
"Your aunty Bellatrix made sure that I never forget exactly what I am" she continued "so I don't want to know what you've got to say on the subject, I've already heard all there is to hear"
"NO" he shouted, making her flinch. He seemed to pause for several seconds, regaining his composure.
"I'm not that idiotic Granger" he said "I realised a while ago that all that blood purity stuff is bullshit"
"Then why-?"
"Just let me talk Hermione" He pleaded. "I know I haven't done anything to deserve it but please"
She nodded slowly, clearly still wary and quite ready to hex him at the slightest provocation.
He knew that this was the best he was going to get so he ploughed on. "I want to apologise for all the crap I've put you through Granger" his voice was oddly formal and stiff.
"It was during 6th year when I realised that something about my beliefs didn't add up. It took me a long time to realise how foolish I had been and by that time I was in too deep" he glanced up briefly to check her reaction before continuing in a more relaxed voice.
"I won't go through everything that brought me to this apology; I don't think either of us can handle that. But I think what really changed my mind was the day at the Manor"
Her head snapped up and their eyes locked .She quickly looked away, tears in her eyes. She knew exactly what day he was referring to.
"When I saw Bellatrix" he gulped "torturing you, I realised just how much of a coward I was". His eyes were stinging but he was well versed in the art of concealing his emotions so he was almost sure that she didn't notice.
"I saw how wrong the whole situation was but I didn't have the courage to put my life on the line to stop it. I never thought I would wish to be more like a Gryffindor but in that moment I did with all my heart". He let out a humourless laugh.
"Once I realised how idiotic I had been I was only in it to protect my family. They were the only reason I was even at the final battle" This time he looked up and she held the eye-contact.
"I'm sorry Granger. I put you through hell and now I wish I could go back and give myself a good kicking. I know it's not enough but I had to say it"
She looked away. The silence stretched until she eventually broke it with a sigh. "Thank you for the apology Malfoy" she said. She had not his skill at holding back tears and they flowed unstoppably down her cheeks "but I cannot accept it. Perhaps some day I shall be able to forgive and forget but for me the war is still too fresh. I am sorry".
Despite the tears her voice never wavered as she spoke. It was cold and distant, as if she was trying to cut herself off from the emotions that she knew would overcome her if she let them.
Once she had spoken she rose from the ledge and walked away from him, disappearing behind a tapestry half-way down the corridor. She never looked back and did not see the single tear that escaped from the crack in his mask.
Authors Note: Hey, thanks for reading my story. This is my first attempt at writing FanFiction so I'm not really sure how it turned out. Please let me know if you liked it or didn't like it and why. Would you like me to continue with this story?
ShHpBookworm xxx