Niles opened the door and leaned against it, taking a deep breath and letting it out quickly. He was glad to be home, but ashamed to be arriving there this late in the day. Something inside of him told him that his brand new wife would not be happy.
As he thought of her, Daphne arrived at the bottom of the stairs, and for the thousandth time in the past week he thought about how lovely it was to have her here with him. Niles noticed that as she walked she did not smile or really give any hints as to what she was feeling at all. She stopped about five feet away from Niles and the door and just looked at him for a moment. He knew from experience that this was a dangerous distance, for it meant that she was too far to be showing affection but not far enough to say she was too busy to come over.
"Niles, where were you?" she asked.
"I was at the bookstore, my love."
"The bookstore?" she said gently. "I tried calling you three times, but didn't answer." Her face showed that she was neither mad nor overly upset, but perhaps the slightest bit hurt or perhaps confused.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I must have forgotten to turn it back on after my last patient. But it won't happen again, I promise you." He leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek, then took her hand in his they sat down on the couch together. "Oh, I missed you today," he said, looking at her in that wonderful way Daphne had not yet gotten used to, the one she had been getting for only the passed three weeks, the look that told her how grateful he was that they were married and that she was his for the rest of their lives.
"I missed you too," she said in a softer tone, the same tone she had been using earlier. "You know, it gets sort of lonely here when you're by yourself."
"Oh, yes, I know it! This is my home, but the place is so large that it almost taunts you when you're alone." He paused, looking at her crestfallen face. "I'm sorry I was gone so long today. It was inconsiderate of me not to call you."
"I haven't seen you since seven this morning, Niles! It's past ten at night now! Look, I'm sorry. I guess I'm not seeing this your way. You have to work, I know that, and you enjoy going to Café Nervosa in your free time. But Niles, I haven't lived by meself in nine years, and on days like this I'm not quite sure what to do. I only go over to your brother's for about three hours each day. We've got maids, so there's no housework to be done. All me friends work, and we do most of our shopping by phone. There's not much for me to do during the daytime. But, there's no reason to complain to you about this, it's not like you can do much about it." She smiled at him smoothly.
Niles didn't really know what to say to her. "I would be here with you more often if I could, but my job requires a lot of time. You've known that ever since we've met and you certainly experienced it when we were dating. I'm surprised it's hitting you this hard now."
"What's hitting me hard is you staying out almost four hours after I expected you to be home, and then I can't call you because your cell phone's off!" she said, raising her voice in anger.
"I'm sorry about that! I forgot, and besides, I never told you when I'd be home in the first place!"
"That's rich!" she yelled, standing up. "I couldn't count on you being home before ten fifteen at night when you're usually back by seven! For all I know you could have been off shoe shopping like you were last week!"
Niles sprung to his feet to see her face to face. "That was one time! Daphne, I'm sorry if I've made you feel neglected but it isn't my fault!"
"It is so your fault!"
"Well, pardon me that I have so many patients to take care of!"
Daphne turned her back to her husband and began to walk up the stairs. "So do you care about them more then you care about me?" she asked.
Niles followed her. "That's preposterous! You know I love you!"
She was at the door to their bedroom now, standing with her hand on the doorknob. Tears had already found her eyes and were soon to come out. "I just want to know if you love me more than your bloody job!" She slammed the door and locked it right in front of Niles' face and immediately after that she began to weep. Sinking to her knees, she leaned her head against the door and wondered if Niles was still out there. If he was, she knew that he could hear her.
This had been their first real fight as a married couple, she realized, and she had started it. She knew Niles loved his job, and that he loved psychiatry in general, but sometimes she really did wonder whether he loved her more. It wasn't something she dwelled on day and night, but it did pop into her head now and then. She wished there was someone she could talk to that might know what she was going through. She had never been married before this, and her husband was at work all the time and sometimes became so involved in it it scared her. No one she knew would be able to relate. Most of the friends she went to for real problems, like Roz for instance, weren't married and never had been married. Frasier had no wife, and Martin worked just as often as his wife had. Who did that leave her to turn to?
And it was a silly problem, really. Niles was home when he really needed to be, and like he had said earlier, she knew that he loved his job and respected him for it. Yet, it seemed that most newlyweds spent more time together than they had been. It bothered her a tiny bit, but now she felt like she should have never told Niles. After all, his previous wives had not wanted to be around him as much. He probably just wasn't used to it.
Daphne hadn't stopped crying yet, and for the first time she realized that she would be sleeping by herself tonight. She changed into her pajamas and lay down, the tears slowing to a stop as she did. However, inside she felt worse than tears. She felt guilt, regret, depression, and anger, not at Niles, but at herself.
Downstairs, Niles closed the door to the guestroom and didn't even bother to turn on the light. He took off his shoes, jacket, tie, and shirt and crawled into bed, feeling terrible.
He was devastated that he had let Daphne think he could love anything more than he loved her. He didn't. Family had always come first for him, even before Daphne. Sure he was devoted to psychiatry and thoroughly enjoyed it, but she was different to him. He loved her like nothing he had ever loved before and would gladly choose her over his occupation any day.
It was awful to know that he had made her feel this way, and that he had made her cry as hard as he had heard. Maybe he did spend too much time working and not enough time at home with her. Some days were better than others. Two days ago, he had hardly had any patients and they had been able to spend most of the day together. Yesterday and today had been polar opposites to that.
Being in bed alone reminded him of the days after Maris when he was single and he would lie in bed thinking about beautiful, wonderful, Daphne but not being able to have her. He couldn't decide if that was worse than this or not.
At that moment he knew what needed to be done. He would have to go apologize to her and tell her what needed to be said.
Slowly he got out of bed and went into the dark living room, where one light from the ceiling was on. It was just enough to see Daphne standing in front of the staircase. He went to her quickly and dropped to his knee taking her hand. "Daphne, I'm so sorry I've made you feel-"
Before he could finish, Daphne dropped into his arm and held him tightly. "Oh Niles, I'm sorry. It's not your fault, it's mine! I didn't mean those things."
"It is my fault. If you thought for a moment that I loved my profession more than you I've failed."
"No, really-"
"I love you more than everything I have, than everything I ever will have. I love you unlike anything I've ever loved before in my life. I love you more than you'll ever know, Daphne. You are what is most important to me."
Daphne kissed him on the lips softly than pulled away. "I love you, too, Niles, and I'm so sorry I had to start that stupid fight. The first one of our marriage and all because of my stupid complaining."
"If you wouldn't have started it, I would have eventually. But it's over now." He stroked her cheek with one hand, then helped her up from the floor much like he did the night of the Snow Ball. Hand in hand, they walked upstairs and crawled into bed together. Niles put his arm around Daphne and drew her into him lovingly.
"I love you, Daphne," he whispered. "More than all the world." She smiled and just a moment later she was asleep.
The End
