Hey, time for some bad quality Zelda stuff. Some stuff may not be in the right order according to the game.

In the Beginning,
Or,
Please Go Die

A long time ago in Hyrule there was a boy named Link. He lived in a forest with other boys and girls. They were called Kokiris and if a Kokiri ever left the forest they would die. Each Kokiri had his or her own fairy partner that would be their friend and would give them advice. But Link didn't have a fairy.
One day the guardian of the forest, the Great Deku Tree, was put under a curse that would eventually kill him. So he called upon the only fairy there was left and sent her to Link to summon him. The fairy's name was Navi. He said to her
"Yon Navi the Fairy go to thine destined partner, The Boy Without a Fairy. Tell him that I have need of his presence, hurry Navi the Fairy, hurry."
So Navi flew to Link. She wasn't sure which one he was so she asked everyone she met even though they all had fairies already. She finally found him in his house, why would he be in there right? He was asleep so she flew in circles and insulted him until he woke up. She then proceeded to tell him that she was his fairy partner, and that the Great Deku Tree wanted to see him. As he climbed down the ladder from his house his 'friend' Saria walked over.
"Oh, its you. Huh? You got a fairy? That's er, great. I'm, uh, happy for you. I'll wait here for you." Saria said. Link thought 'yeah, right, you'll wait.' And went on his way. He made it all the way to the start of the path that led to the Great Deku Tree's meadow before he was stopped again. This time it was Mido, the bully who stopped him.
"Oh, you got a fairy. I still don't like you. And if you are going to talk to our guardian you will need a sword and shield. While one is talking to the Great Deku Tree one should always be ready to be attacked at any moment." Mido talked at him. You see no one ever talked TO Link. They always seemed to talk AT him. But he went to the shop to buy a sword and shield all the same. The shopkeeper told him that they didn't sell swords but he could buy a shield for forty rupees. Link wasn't sure why they even used rupees in the forest because no one had ever come into or left Kokiri forest. So why use rupees? It was useless to think about though so Link went to look for rupees in the patch of grass that everyone seemed to loose their money in. after getting all the rupees he could out of there, he went to break open some rocks because they have money in them too. As he approached the circle of stones he saw Generic Kokiri Boy. And as Link watched Generic Kokiri Boy he though to himself ' wow, he really needs a girl friend.' As much as link didn't want to get close to his fellow Kokiri he knew he needed the money to buy the shield so he got what he could from the rocks. He went all over the forest and he finally accumulated enough rupees to buy the Deku shield. But now he needed a sword. He did not know of any sword in the forest and no one else would help him so he crawled in hole to die. As luck should have it this particular hole led to the clearing where the Kokiri Sword was kept. Why no one had told him this he would never know. So now he could go to the Great Deku Tree. After another encounter with Mido in which they argued about how the word Deku is pronounced, Link made it to the Great Deku Tree's meadow. The Great Deku Tree told him about how the world was created and that Link had to go inside him and break the curse mentioned above. So in he went and just sort of followed the natural flow of things. He talked to all the Deku scrubs, fell through a bunch of spider webs, got the words 'Twenty three is number one' stuck in his head, and fought this big nasty insect thing. Then this blue shiny circle appeared, and when he stepped into the shiny circle he was magically transported back to the Great Deku Tree's meadow. Which was a good thing because it would have been really annoying to have to walk all the way back from the room where he fought the narsty insect thing. The Great Deku Tree told him that his efforts were in vain because he was going to die anyway. He also said that Link should leave the forest for the good of the world. Then he died. So link thought 'If I leave the forest I'll die. Oh well, my life isn't that great anyway... and its not like I'm gonna amount to anything, seeing as how I cant leave the forest.... And no one would care... I guess I will commit suicide.' Link then went to tell Saria he was going to die but she wasn't waiting for him like she said. He wasn't surprised. He went out onto the bridge that led to the outside world and there was Saria. She gave him an ocarina as a goodbye present. And taught him a song on it that she said she only taught to her real friends. 'She only gave me a gift when she knew I was going to leave!' Link's last memory of Saria was her giving him a suicide gift and telling him he was abnormal. T-rific. This was just the beginning of his life story. The story of how Link was kicked out of and rejected by everyone he met.
Yay! PLEASE FLAME ME! I'M SO COLD!