To Feel the Sun

It's been a long time since I last wrote anything for fanfiction. I got very busy with schoolwork and I had no time to focus on completing chapters and figuring out plot lines. However, I recently started watching Reign, and I got inspired to write this story based off of a dream I had a few nights ago concerning a certain blue/green-eyed bastard. I can't guarantee that I will be a very regular updater, but I will give it my best shot. Hope you enjoy!

Content: This is an AU fic that takes place at the end of Fated and includes some material from For King and Country. I've tried to stick to the show in every way except the basic plot-line, so no OOC or crazy pairings. I am writing this from 4 different perspectives (eek) but I'm mainly sticking to the Bash side of the fic.

Disclaimer: Reign belongs to CW, Sengupta and McCarthy.

Chapter 1

Mary rode on relentlessly, unwilling to look back at Francis. She knew that if she gave in and turned her head that she would see the utterly heartbroken face of her fiance and turn back. But there was no turning back from this situation. Yet again, Mary was faced with a huge decision that would change her fate, but this time it seemed as though it would tear her heart from her chest. How could it be that after having seemingly just accepted the fact that she was Francis's and he was hers. It was all the fault of his damned mother and her stooge Nostradamus.

As much as she wanted to disregard his so-called visions, the fact that two of them had come true was reason enough for her to ensure that a third prophecy fulfilled would not be necessary for her to do Catherine's bidding. Before the attempted assassination of the queen, Mary had come to view the lady with mild respect, but her insistence on getting rid of Mary was threatening to overtake whatever positives Mary had come to see in the scheming woman. For the longest time, Mary had thought that Catherine's wanting to get rid of her was purely out of dislike, but after hearing about Nostradamus's visions, her actions seemed somehow justified. Most of Mary did not want to believe the seer's visions, but a tiny seed of doubt and concern had been planted in her heart, and it had begun to grow.

Mary's thoughts returned to Francis, and the words they had exchanged in the last full day itself.

"This is our chance, right now, to be together without anyone, or anything standing in our way."

"What are you saying?"

"Marry me. And we'll figure out what we should do in England later."

Only Francis could say those words without her doubting his intentions. He had made her feel so secure and loved, and she had agreed.

"Marry me...Say yes!"

And she had complied.

"I want you to know, whatever happens, that I love you."

He had no idea what he had in store for him later. That her words held more than he could imagine.

"I don't understand!"

"I told you I was afraid! I told you I wasn't sure if this was the right choice for my country!"

"What does that have to do with marrying me? I told you I have no terms. I only want you."

"I can't trust that."

How easy it must have seemed to him for her to utter those words, but little did he know the heartache it caused her. The lovely future that she had always envisioned for the two of them gone down the drain. The man she truly loved gone out of her life.

"I don't believe you."

He shouldn't have.

"Have you not heard a word that I've said? I love you!"

"Love is irrelevant to people like us...I love you, but I won't let other people die for me."

"And I'm never going to let you go...Wait for me while I talk to my father before he goes screaming to the Vatican and this gets out of hand."

"I'll wait for you."

How could she have so blatantly lied to him? It broke her heart to see so much faith put in her words. Francis was so trusting of her that it hurt. She never meant for any of this to have happened, but there she was, riding away from the one bright light in her life, seeing the darkness encroach upon her.

"Mary, please, wait!"

His words echoed in her mind, and in her heart, she could still hear Francis's pleading cries following her, haunting her as she rode fast ahead.

Mary shook her head, trying to clear it of any thoughts that would make her change her mind and turn around. She glanced over at Bash to see how he was faring. His face was impassive. He only looked straight ahead and did not seem to want to make conversation, which in a way was fine by Mary. Her emotions concerning Bash were even more complicated than the ones concerning Francis. While she knew that her close relationship with Francis was expected of her as his fiance, her interactions with Bash often made her uneasy, knowing that every time they talked, a closely watching eye was observing all of their actions.

The kiss with Bash had been purely instinctual; she was drunk, and in her mind, had no control over her actions. His reciprocation was a bit unexpected although enjoyable nonetheless. Despite having seen the kiss occur, Francis still managed to forgive Mary, and to some degree, Bash as well. She knew that things could never truly be the same between the brothers, and it was all because of her. She never thought that she would be the cause of any problems within the court, but it turned out that she was at the root of many of the misdemeanors around the castle.

What Kenna had said the first day Mary had arrived at the castle was true - Bash was very handsome and quite charming, a compulsive flirt. She had almost fallen for his charm, but in her case, it seemed as though he truly harbored feelings for her, feelings that he shouldn't have had for his brother's bride-to-be. It wasn't fair for her to respond to his forward actions when in her heart she knew she loved Francis.

Was it really possible to love two men at once? Did she love both of them? Even if she did, there was no way she could ever be with either without facing extensive consequences, as far as she knew. If she married Francis, there was the chance that Nostradamus's prophecy would come true and she would cause the prince's death. If she pursued a relationship with Bash, she would be defying her country, the French court, and would suffer the wrath of Francis. Being with neither seemed impossible.

Mary looked back at Bash a second time. He had everything a woman could want: handsomeness, charming personality, royal affiliation, excellent fighting skills, and a good heart. The only thing that made it so she couldn't marry him was that he was the bastard brother of her betrothed. On the other hand, Francis, while he didn't have the obvious good looks of his older brother, was quite attractive, he was a good diplomat, he was a strong and kind man, a prince, and most of all, he loved Mary. Had the situation been any different, Mary would have thrown herself into his arms at once. But instead, she had been forced to leave with his brother.

Mary's face turned red with shame when she thought of what the members of the French Court must have thought she was getting up to with Bash. Though it was true that there was a mutual attraction between the two, Mary knew to keep her distance as best as she could, especially after claiming her love for Francis. Mary could trust Catherine to put foul thoughts into her son's head, that Mary loved Bash and not him. Mary couldn't gauge either Henry's or Diane's possible reactions, but she knew that neither agreed with her actions. Henry was a power hungry man - it seemed to Mary that he couldn't care less whether she loved Francis, as long as she got power of England and Scotland and an alliance with France. Diane was unreadable. Mary didn't know her well enough to imagine her thoughts. Her ladies-in-waiting knew that she had to go, and they did not hate her for it, as much as she thought they must. Perhaps they still did, but they didn't tell her.

The queen's grip on her reins faltered for a moment as she tried to process all of these thoughts. Bash finally broke the silence when he looked back at her.

"We have a long ways to go yet, Mary. We're going to have to ride faster. No doubt the king has sent guards after us already."

At first Mary was perturbed by the insensitivity of Bash's words, but she saw the truth in them. Besides, it gave her something to focus on instead of her thoughts. She would just concentrate on riding quickly and in the right way. Mary was merely following Bash, who seemed to know where he was going. His horse never lingered from the path, and he occasionally looked around as if to make sure they were going the right way.

The pair rode on, not knowing what the future lay in store for them.

Hope this was enjoyable - I know it is basically a recap of the end of Fated, but I thought it would be nice to provide a bit of introspect on Mary's part. The real story begins with the first chapter, which will be longer and more action-packed.

Reviews are appreciated :)

Sammy-U