Dao ming si's chapter

There she goes walking down the aisle, she's the most beautiful bride I ever seen or maybe I would ever see. She looks breath takingly beautiful in her white gown yet so pure and innocent.

There she was my shancai, my one and only shancai, a picture of a happy and undeniable woman in love, as we are waiting at the altar me the mighty Dao Ming SI together with the f3 as we promise that whoever married first the remaining 3 will be the best man.

She smiled and my heart melt in that instance, oh how I wish… I really wish, the wedding march rhyme at my heart beat as she gets closer to the altar, I know this is it there's no turning back, I have to stand on my decision no matter what it takes.

"Take care of her lei," I tapped his shoulder, he smiled at me and he nod, I looked at shancai and she looked at me back, there's something in her eyes that bother me, is that a tears? Maybe? Maybe she's just happy.

There in front of me my best friend and the only woman I love, taking each other's vow, my mind is somewhere, I hardly notice that the ceremony is about to end, the newly wed couple standing up, and then lock their lips into kisses, I looked away, I can't bear watching the truth unfolding in front of me

"Are you alright?" ximen said

"Yes, I'm okay!" I mumbled.

The ceremony ended, petals flown into air cheering the newly wed, I can't take it anymore, and I must leave this place

"Congratulations" I shake hands to lei

"Thank you" lei replied

"Congratulations" I turned to shancai

"Thank you" she said

In a second the world froze, then I can't control my self anymore, I found myself hugging shancai, she was stunned, then I realize what I'm doing

"Take care," I whisper in her ears, and then I let go of her

" I'll be leaving first"

"Aren't you coming on the reception?" lei asked

"I really have to go" then I leave, but before I leave I take one last look at her, in her eyes I saw confusion, but then, I know I shouldn't looked back anymore

I was driving in my car, I never know where would I go, the pain in my heart is too much to bear, I could hear the beating of my heart, seems that it would explode anytime now,

I want to shout and curse all of them most especially God, yes God! Why he let this happen, but then again, I know, there's no one to blame, maybe it's my fate, destined to suffer.

It is the night after their wedding, i went at her old house, the one where i put the lights replica of the meteor necklace i gave to her. I stand outside for God knows how long, imagining that she's still inside... just within my reach, then i went inside i still have the keys. I saw the lights it was still there.

The smell of powder fresh was still in the air, how can i ever forget the smell of her hair when she leans on my shoulder, her soft lips when it touches mine, the warmth of her hand when we hold each other hands while sharing our dreams together.

I could still hear her voice when she yells at me, i could still picture the dagger look she always gave me when she's annoyed at me, God how can i ever forget? How could i loose her? I know this is what i wanted, this what i had planned, but i never imagine it could hurt me beyond my expectation... so much that it's killing me slowly but painfully.

I know i have to accept and i have to let go because it was our destiny...not to be together, because sometimes love just ain't enough especially when fate comes and play along. She hates me.. and I understand, And i guess it was better that way..

Tommorow i will leave, I can't say goodbye, because i know i would only break down, I took a paper and a pen on her drawer and write all the things that i had wanted to say but decided then to hold on. As i write i found my eyes getting blurred as the tears are beggining to fall..for this is the only way i can say goodbye to her...forever...

I put the letter on her mailbox, and for the last time i stared at her house, for I know ther will be no turning back...and the memories flood in my head...

Flashback

" Dao Ming si! Why?" shancai said while crying, she caught me kissing another girl

"I don't love you anymore, do I have to repeat that again to you? Are you stupid that you can't understand a simple sentence?" I said coldly.

"But you told me you love me, I didn't know that your just playing with my feelings"

" Do you really think that I can fall in love to a common girl? Look at you and look at me, haven't you seen the difference?" I look at her from head to toe.

Then a loud slap on my face.

"How dare you! I really thought that I know you, but I was wrong"

"Now you know, I love her, and I will marry her soon"

" I hate you! I hate you Dao Ming si!" she yelled at me then running away crying

I took a deep breath and look away, my heart was broken as she was, but I know I did the right thing

End of flash back.

I just drove and found myself alone in the beach sitting on the sand waiting for the sun to set, funny! It's like waiting for my death, 6 months had passed since we broke up, but it feels like eternity and i know i can't take it anymore, for I know that the moment I lost her, I already died.

I'm staring far away, never know that I was crying, crying for the lost love, crying for not having us a chance, for the thoughts that she was now with somebody's arms, that I know that she doesn't love me anymore, because I know that I will die loving that one and only person in this world, in this lifetime, and I guess if I have given a chance to live again , I will still choose her to spend my life with, if only… oh God if only!

Now our story has really ended, when she read my letter she will find out, I know she will be sad, but I know this time she will be alright, then I go back to the beach, lying down on the sand,i felt my body so weak, as I'm looking up in the sky, seeing the sun that already setting, then I close my eyes, and only God knows if I could ever open this eyes again..