So, my first SnK fic. Let's see how this turns out. R&R, let me know if you want more:) DISCLAIMER: Shingeki no Kyoujin is not mine; if it was, I would be a genius.

And, you know, ErinxLevi would be real ;3

Anyways, enjoy.

(Oh, and YES I did update, I just re-did this part. Wasn't completely happy with it...)

Levi

"Well, as her father, I..." The words tore through the air and shot into my ears like an arrow hitting a bullseye. I could see the panic on his face- a look I've come to know all too well. We all have.

It's just not fair. "Sir." I managed; I could barely walk straight, let alone deal with Petra's father right now. He needs to know now, though, he has to...he has to know it's my fault. "Sir," I began again slowly, using a tall brick building along the main street where we trekked back to headquarters to support myself, "Petra, your daughter, my- my friend-"

"NO. You're going to lie to me right now aren't you?!" I cringe as he cts me off, the hysteria evident in his words as well as in his eyes. "Petra is definitely alive! She wouldn't- she promised me she wouldn't! Promised..." the man trailed off into sobs of grief for his loving daughter, and I held back the best I could a sob of grief for my loyal friend. I felt my knees buckle, begging to give out. My no-doubt broken foot screamed at me with raging pain, but still I refused to stop. The twisting knot in my heart could've been enough to kill a man- a normal man. This grieving pain for my precious team mates was almost unbearable, but still I could not stop. Who am I stop for a hurt foot when they have crushed bodies? What would I say to them, what would they say to me?

I don't deserve the privilege of stopping this pain.

Eren

I wiped the tears away from my face as best I could, but they just kept coming. So this is the Survey Corps. How glorious a life it is...

I attempted to sit up, struggling to find the strength in my arms to pull myself off the wagon's floor.

{flashback}

I stared endlessly at the rows of bodies before me; they were all. Dead. How could it get like this? It's my fault- I couldn't transform in time.

"Eren." Levi called. The forest green Survey Corps cloak around his tense shoulders was tattered and bloodied. "You're the only one standing over here still... you won't be able to put this behind you if you stay like this." his tone was gentle but stern, as if he was teaching me a lesson. I looked up at him, horror and dread obvious as I spoke. "Can you for just one moment not be such a heartless bastard?!" the words were meant as a shout but only came out as an enraged whisper. I took a long shaky breath and tried to continue. "It amazes me that you would just so easily forget them. Not just Petra and Olio, our whole squad, but every single person laying here."

Levi's eyes darkened, like the black of his hair mixed with a depth of misery. "You can't bring back something that's already dead. When its gone, its gone. Yo cry and carry on with life. But while you're spending that time crying, more people are dying. More families are losing loved ones. More people are dying from inner-wall fights and riots." he looked at me straight in the eyes before speaking again, his dark stare so intense I had to shift my eyes away. "We're at war, Eren; we have all that's left of a dying race to protect. We don't have time to be sad, or depressed, or horrified, or scared."

I stifled a sob so horrid it almost sounded like a twisted laugh. "They told us that first day, didn't they? 'Be prepared to lose what's important'." I turned to him, and in spite of myself, the single tear I allowed to fall down my face exploded into a million. "I should be lying there in place of them... Do you ever feel that way, Captain Levi? Like if you had just one thing differently, they wouldn't be lying there in body bags?"

"Eren." he pleaded; through the blurred vision of my tears I cold still see his pain. That's right, Captain- you've done this for your whole life. How many people have you had to let go of? He walked toward me, and I leaned forward. I'm going to pass out. I sank to my knees and cried like I had when I lost my mother. He grabbed my shoulders as I fell and sank down with me. His sad stare bore into me. "Levi...Captain Levi...I'm so sorry."

"Eren shut up. Just shut up and stop. Listen to me, okay? You tried the best you could. Even our experts don't know what you're capable of yet. So how are you expected to know yourself? You're under so much pressure from everybody to be of use, so just block them out and for God's sake think about yourself for once. Eren...can you do that for me? Please?" I nodded my head. "I would do anything you asked of me, Captain." I felt Levi tense up more, then slowly grip me tighter. He brought me closer into a loose embrace, resting his face on my shoulder. "I didn't lose my whole squad. I still have you, don't I?" I clenched the thin fabric of his shirt and cloak in my hands. His cold lips brushed my ear and I couldn't help but tremble more."It's a glorious life we live, Eren." he murmered, shaking as much as I was.

"Yes, a very glorious life...right, Captain Levi?"

{flashback end}

Mikasa let go of my hand and smiled the best she could. Her face looked dreadfully tired. It pained me to see her like this. "Don't do that." I murmured, reaching up to pat her face gently. "Do what?" a look of confusion overtook her face; I somehow felt relieved. After all, it's better than- "That." I pinched her face and she winced. "What?" "Don't make that face. Stay how you always are." I drew her in to a tight hug. "Stay my strong, beautiful sister. Please." I felt warm drops fall onto my shoulder; she's crying. Is it because of me? Hah, of course it is, it's always because of me."Thank you, Mikasa." I whispered, patting her shoulder. "Be strong, Eren. We can get through this. We all can. We have to."

Mikasa

I watched Eren as he looked around desperately for his captain. I couldn't hide the tiny sliver of a smile that appeared on my lips. So my suspicions were accurate. Should I give him a nudge in the right direction, I wonder? I also searched for Captain Levi through the crowd of disappointed and enraged townspeople. I was relieved that Eren's attention was no longer on the crowds;it really got to him. I can't say it didn't get to me either, though. I remembered that this was the scene my brother and I have seen many times, but being the one that their anger is directed toward, it's...strange. Almost maddening. I think I can understand Levi and the others better now. A lot better.

My eyes finally landed on the captain; "Eren. Over there." I pointed my finger toward the wall that Levi was leaning heavily against, still trying to go farther. I suddenly remembered Levi limping after we had taken Eren back from the female titan. It must've been worse than I thought. I squeezed Eren's shoulder when I felt him move forward. "Don't, you'll shatter his pride and cause a scene."

"Killing two birds with one stone." he muttered.

Eren

"Eren!" she scolded, like the big sister she is. "Seriously?"

"Okay, okay sorry. Just let me-"

"No."

"No? Why?"

She crossed her arms and sighed. "We're almost to the emergency resting quarters for Survey Corps troops. Like 5 minutes. You can go rescue your boyfriend there."

"Okay, but...WAIT. What did you just say?! He is NOT my boyfriend. It isn't like that, we-"

"Mhmmmm." a devilish grin played on her lips, and for the first time in a long time, I smiled too. "Whatever. I'll wait."

She breathed a sigh of relief, which almost made me feel bad for what I was about to do. "Good, good. Now let's just sit you back down and we'll-"

"Sorry, don't wanna." I spat the words quickly from my mouth and jumped from the wagon, rough wood and splinters scraping the back of my hand as my feet met the cobbled stone road, sending a shock of pain through my toes and my legs. I couldn't care less. I needed to see him, help him, touch him, talk to him- just be with him.

I'm following your orders, Levi; I'm caring for myself by caring for you.

That's it for now! Sorry or the cheesy ending, promise the next part isn't like that. At all, haha. Alright bye, R&R please!