Jake and Elwood Save Christmas.

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Boy what a title. XD To reassure you awesome Blues Brothers fans this fic has: NO Mary Sues, NO flames, and NO bashes.

This happens a bit before the movie and a bit before the night Jake gets arrested for his hold up in which it is the month of December, a bit before Christmas.

As for this fic, the inspiration of this happened between an RP between my friend and I as well as the Christmas spirit in the air. That and I love these guys way too much. XD Anyway, this is just the first chapter and I hope you'll enjoy it. Seasons Screamings! ^^

Jake belongs to John Belushi (may God have mercy on his soul) as well as Universal

Elwood belongs to Dan Aykroyd/Universal

The Penguin belongs to Universal

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CHAPTER 1: "No Fucking Way."

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The Christmas spirit was in the air. It was obvious throughout the streets of Chicago as well as the hearts of children but there was one place in the Windy City where there was no cheer whatsoever.

And that's where the story begins; at Joliet Correctional Facility with the two boys of blues.

At the moment Jake and Elwood were walking down the halls of the prison together, they knew there was some good news and some bad news on their minds. The good news was that they were free from the Hellhole for a while but the bad news was the fact that they had to be driven and followed by a cop because they had to do community service. What a joy this would be. Working in the community with no music, no beer or playboys, no girls, no cigarettes, and lastly (which was extremely painful to Elwood) no Bluesmobile.

Upon them being given this task from the prison, both the Blues Brothers could feel their guts wrench before easing knowing that they would stick with each other as they had done so before. Even so, it wasn't that bad, by some strong persuasion they managed to obtain their raybans and fedoras as they didn't mind the prison garb.

By now the boys were in their early twenties in which Elwood's figure was enough to drive the girls insane for him, not to mention his voice on previous gigs. His eyes were hidden behind raybans in which the sun (let alone the viewing public) would never see his different shaded eyes of baby blue and hazel. Jake grew into a fine man in which he was insane for the girls, who he didn't mind showing his chocolate brown eyes to even it was for one night.

More good news came as they saw that they were given their outfits before they could speak to their new "boss" who would be in charge of all the community service they did.

Which came to them as a shock.

Rather for Jake, a near heart attack but still a shock.

"Hello, boys," said the older woman in black and white, who stood before them as a person the boys knew all too well from their pasts; the Penguin. As she smiled eerily as though to remain her kind, religious self, Jake and Elwood's faces paled one shade less than their usual complexion. They watched her moves, both frozen yet calm as they attempted to keep their cool as she observed them like a hawk. She knew why they were here to which she slapped them both with the ruler which led to their usual groans of pains which also sent streaks of memories through them as though it were yesterday when they were kids who felt the wrath of the ruler.

"It's uh....been a while," Elwood spoke in his usual Chicago accent as he straightened his tie out and pushed his shades back to the bridge of his nose. Jake nodded in agreement as he shifted in his seat, feeling like a complete ass. For he and Elwood committed the stupidest crime of all crimes; petty larceny. And all for a stupid cup of coffee due to the stupid wind which was caused by the stupid cold weather of winter. This caused Jake to sigh heavily as he thought back as to what Elwood said; it was either the slammer and getting ass raped or doing some shit for a while.

The Penguin nodded to Elwood's remark not minding Jake's action as she moved to her seat in an unnoticeably slow manner as though to tease them and make them mentally suffer as to what they would face. Upon inching a bit forward on her desk as though she were a strict principle of an ivy league school, she gave that creepy smile that sent shivers down their spines, especially Elwood's.

"I see that you boys have pleaded guilty for larceny."

"Yeah? So what's it to you," Jake asked almost roughly as it earned him a slap on the wrist with the ruler to which he groaned inwardly. Elwood shot him a look but remained stoic, knowing that would happen to Jake as he hoped it didn't happen to him as he swallowed some.

"You boys are to do community service for the orphanage," she paused as she allowed the tension and suspense to settle. "You are to bring Christmas to the orphanage, using these." At that moment she held up a Santa suit and an Elf suit in which Jake's eyes widened behind the shades just as Elwood's did. The Penguin didn't hesitate to force it on them as she smiled almost genuinely gentle and whammed the Elf suit into Elwood's form no sooner he crossed his arms tightly over his chest in protest to the outfits. Jake did the same as to which the Penguin also the did same action of forcing the Santa suit on his form. Both fought hard to suppress anger and fear as they swallowed hard before Jake spoke up in response to her idea of community service.

"No fucking way."

THWACK! A ruler to the wrist brought Jake back to the old days as Elwood internally flinched.

"I beg your pardon, what did you say?"

Elwood hoped that Jake wouldn't respond with his smart ass mouth but he had to go and do so to which Elwood prepared for the worse. To which Jake once again, received another slap to the wrist which caused Elwood (in an attempt to correct him) to accidentally use the Lord's name in vain which earned a slap on the wrist and so the ruler on wrist combat began to which Elwood knew better and made a dash for the door and ran out into the cop car which escorted them to the St. Helen of the Blessed Shroud to begin with. Jake followed suit as he practically threw himself into the car as they realized something: the cop that drove them there was gone.

The tallest brother smirked to himself. What a perfect escape from the wrath of the ruler.