The Children's Hour Extended and Extra Scenes

by Atomdancerrr

“The Children’s Hour” had a very interesting scene: Cupid’s either getting his powers back or his parents sent Champ a sign to lay off the scornful behavior. Here’s your chance to “hear” the lullaby Venus sang to her baby, Cupid.

"The Children's Hour" had a very interesting scene: Cupid's either getting his powers back or his parents sent Champ a sign to lay off the scornful behavior. Here's your chance to "hear" the lullaby Venus sang to her baby, Cupid.

The original show can be watched at youtube and ABC has the more lighthearted remake. They are both good. For an explanation how Cupid switched hosts see, "Cupid 1.0 to 2.0 The Transfer." Write me if you want to know where two unaired scripts of the original series are at on the net.

The Children's Hour: Extended

And Extra Scenes.

By

Elizabeth Hensley

8-)

Claire received a phone call while getting ready for work. She glanced at the number. She didn't recognize it. She wondered if Trevor had found still another pay phone to call her from that she didn't recognize which or course would force her to have to answer. It was nice her most disturbed and delusional Patient was so eager to be helped. When he had first been released from Fairview Center for Emotional Wellness and she had realized to her shock he was not really cured of his delusion he was Cupid the god of love, she had feared he would take off and leave her in serious difficulty with the hospital. Instead he had made himself very easy to locate. But up to ten times a day with the phone calls was a bit much.

Reluctantly she answered it. To her surprise it was Trevor's roommate, Champ calling from his cell phone.

"What can I do for you, Champ?"

The Man sighed, "I know you are limited in what you can say about Trevor; Doctor Patient confidentially and all that. But I need to tell you what happened last night."

Claire grabbed her hairbrush and used it on her short, black hair. "Actually we can talk freely. Without out me asking for it Trevor handed me a signed piece of paper stating I had permission to say anything to you I wanted to. He did one for Mrs. Taggarty too though she has never approached me. I think he figures the People in his life would be curious about him and would want to talk to me eventually. Champ, that's a good sign. He knows he needs help and he wants his entire social milieu to work together."

Trevor said, "Oh he does definitely need help! The Man is a walking mental hospital all on his own. But maybe he's not insane"

"No, Champ. Trevor is not the least bit insane. Insanity is a legal term not a medical term. It means one is dangerous to one's self and others. Trevor is not dangerous at all. If anything he's beneficial. For whatever reason he's doing it he is being a Yenta. But.."

"A what?"

"Jewish for matchmaker. But as I said he's far from insane or I would not have approved his release from the hospital. He's never shown aggression. Some of his matches are a bit worrisome but he does seem to be doing more good than harm, and he's usually up front about his delusion so if People are desperate enough to accept matchmaking help from a Man who thinks he's Cupid, they probably should be allowed to take whatever risk there is."

Champ said, "A lot of People don't realize he really believes it. They just think Cupid is his nickname and that matchmaking is some kind of a gung ho hobby he's into. After all some sports fanatics and Butterfly collectors are just as fanatical."

"Yes, just not as beneficial. But back to why you called me, what is this about you'd don't think Trevor is, mentally ill? That is the word you should use."

"He told me once he prefers crazy because that at least sounds fun and interesting and mentally ill sounds pitiful and as he put it, "I am far from pitiful. I am a work of art!"

"Ok, 'crazy.' But why do you suddenly think he isn't, Champ? Please understand since I am allowed to talk to you, he isn't' schizophrenic. His ability to function and interact with the world is normal in every way but his delusion he is Cupid and that he has to match a hundred couples. That may be why you are starting to think he isn't "crazy." He is competent to manage his own affairs with a little supervision which fortunately he doesn't' mind. If anything he is annoyingly over enthusiastic with his attempts to get me to help him. I really don't want to spend session after session dealing with his confabulated family problems. It is amazing how something that couldn't possibly have happened is so traumatic to him. Disassociative is Identity disorder is the ultimate in false memory syndrome."

"Is that what he has? What is that?"

"It is what used to be called multiple personality syndrome. But the name was changed because Folks keep getting that mixed up with schizophrenia. Somewhere inside of the god, Cupid is the Man behind the curtain and that is the one I should be paying attention to, but I can't get to him. The Cupid persona is protecting him from everything including all attempts to help him."

"What if Trevor really is what he says he is?".

"Champ, don't get folie deduced by him. However authentic he seems, Trevor Hale is a Man with some serious guilt problems. His irresponsible behavior led to the death of his Lover and it drove him over the edge. This attempt to unite one hundred couples in true love is an attempt to redeem him self. I've realized that the best way to help him is to let him do it, even to help him sometimes when I think his matches have a chance. I strongly suspect when he reaches one hundred the Cupid personality will leave, go back to Olympus which exists inside of RT Hale's head and is just as real to Cupid as you hometown is to you, and I will be able to finally help the real RT Hale. He might not even need much help by then. He may even be conscious of every thing that his Alter Ego is doing but be too disturbed to come out."

She continued, "Because Champ, Cupid is RT Hale. I have his yearbook picture. I showed it to him. He just shrugged and said, 'so what? I do look like him but doubles for anyone are a dime a dozen.' I wish I was legally allowed to contact his family but I'm not legally allowed to unless Trevor OKs it and he won't. I've tried to get him to let me. He sort of admitted to me he is RT Hale but that moment of sanity lasted just seconds and I watched the delusion cloud him over again. It was heart breaking. I almost had a breakthrough. But he is deliberately choosing as he put it, 'to fight minotaurs' instead of facing reality. His family' must be worried sick! I am hoping some of the media publicity concerning Cupid will get back to them. If I could arrange a confrontation with his family!"

"But could there be something real living inside of R T Hale?"

"That's highly unlikely Champ. What are you saying? The Greek gods are actually real?"

"But there was that other case. What about Robert Porter? He turned out to have that Alien, prot living inside of him. He proved it. He beamed across the stage right on national television and on camera and when he went back to K-PAX he took People and Animals with him." (Author's note: See K-PAX: Both the movie, professional books and K-PAX fan fiction here under books.).

"Champ we can't be sure prot is real either. The prot persona is a savant and may just have figured out something about the Universe the rest of us haven't noticed. Mentally ill People have made some incredible discoveries. Look at John Nash and Tesla. Even Einstein was Autistic though there is some debate if mild autism counts as a mental illness. It is more a collection of social learning disabilities."

"But where did all those People and Animals go?"

Gently Claire said, "They might have been beamed out into the vacuum of space."

"Scary!" Then Champ added, "But what if it is true and Robert Porter had someone real inside of him?"

Claire gave an exasperated sigh, "Yes, but Champ as unlikely as friendly, brain controlling Extraterrestrials are, even a brain controlling Extraterrestrial is more likely to exist than a Greek God! Come on! Try to stay rational! You are living with Trevor. He needs all the reality reinforcement he can be exposed to. You aren't helping him if you fall under his spell."

"Claire it is just I saw something last night that has really freaked me out! It makes me think Trevor may really be Cupid. Something impossible happened!"

Flashback to the night before.

Trevor was trying to convince Champ to go out with a beautiful lady who had two very precocious twins.

Champ was exasperated, "I thought you already found some volunteer!"

You know what we need, we need a very talented sexy big man. We need you."

Champ was trying to ignore Trevor. He kept shifting around as Trevor danced in front of the TV trying to block his view. Trevor grabbed the remote away from Champ.

"You don't care about her happiness! And you don't care about what happens to those kids!"

Trevor was taking the batteries out of the remote.

Champ held out his hands for the batteries. "Give me those!"

Trevor put the batteries down his pants and shook his tush making the batteries rattle.

He rattled on, "As a private individual I care big time but as the god of love I have to make certain choices that are painful. This is why I am sometimes melancholy." Trevor had a sincerely sad look on his face.

Champ grabbed the empty remote away from his most Irritating roommate and went over to the kitchen drawer and found more batteries. He put them in while glaring at Trevor. "Things happen to people Trevor, sometimes, painful things. Say you find somebody these twins like and by some miracle mom likes them too. They get all involved."

Trevor said, "You really shouldn' mix recharagble and alkaline batteries, cause."

Champ pleaded for sanity, "In the end it doesn't take. It's nobody's fault. It just doesn't take. What happens then?"

Trevor said sadly, "When it comes to passion there are always risks."

"But not for you Trevor never for you!"

"I'm a god."

Champ gave him a scornful look, "Oh pleaaaaase!" He aimed the remote.

The TV started speaking a foreign language.

Playfully Trevor told his disbelieving roommate "Told you not to mix the batteries!" he grabbed his coat and left their apartment.

"What did you do to the remote?"

The TV continued to talk in a foreign language

"Duh!" Champ taped the remote and pounded on it. Sounding very Klingon he said, "Duh!" Then he flung the remote.

Finally Champ picked it up again to give it a second chance. He kept pointing it at the TV like Zeus hurling a thunderbolt clicking and clicking but it was as futile as a Human resisting a Borg. He could switch through all the channels. He could make the volume go up and down. He could turn the TV off and on, but he could NOT make it speak English again. He started to curse in frustration because he KNEW his crazy Roommate had something to do with it. Then and only then did it dawn on him: Even Trevor couldn't! Not unless he was! Really!

Champ's look of frustration flashed into fear. His mouth flew open. He stared and stared and stared and stared at the TV rattling on and on in Spanish as if it were a Ghost. What had Bill Murray's character said in Ghost busters? "You don't generally see that kind of behavior in a major appliance!"

Trevor came back in a few minutes later. Champ suddenly realized his roommate had just done what Champ had been nagging him to do for the last four days. It had become a power struggle between them but Trevor had finally submitted. He had taken out the garbage. Champ kept staring at the TV. But out of the corner of his eye he was busy watching Trevor. Just what WAS it that he was living with? The poor little guy thought he was a Greek God! It had driven Champ crazy at times: His roommate's craziness! But maybe he'd been too hard on him; what with his gentle, matter of fact ravings about Olympus and gods and nymphs and Unicorns, and Mars and Mercury both thinking they might be Trevor's father; (they weren't sure), and Uncle Apollo and Cousin Neptune! The Little Guy was homesick and it didn't mater if he was delusional. His pain was real and it was deep! And all this time yours truly had simply been making fun of him! It had to be horrible being so far away from home, having fallen so far or having delusions one had done so and his roommate hadn't been the least bit supportive. It really wasn't cool to make fun of the mentally ill!

But what if Trevor wasn't mentally ill?

Trevor started watching the TV with a pleased smile on his face. He gloated at Champ and went over to it and starting switching through the channels manually since Champ still had a death grip on the remote. They came to a channel with a Lady singing beautifully and passionately in Spanish. Trevor sat down and started watching with rap attention. His usual manic gleam was gone. Suddenly tears started flowing down his cheeks and he started to sing softly with the Lady. It was obvious he knew the words very well. Then he started all out sobbing.

Finally Champ got up the courage. "How did you make the TV set speak Spanish?"

Trevor said, "It's not speaking Spanish It's speaking Italian and shut up. My Mother used to sing this to me. I think she is again through that Lady! I certainly didn't do it. I can't do it, not any more!"

Trevor went back to sobbing. His chest was heaving in and out. After the Lady stopped singing Trevor explained. In a broken voice he said, "That was the lullaby Mom sang to me all the time, my entire childhood, for hundreds of years! It means:

"You are precious to me my little Love. My powerful love!

My little piece of full spectrum rainbow and solar winds my tiny, little god!

Let me hug you as the dawn hugs the rugged mountains, as the wind rides the dancing waves.

Oh how precious you are to me my little Love! My powerful Love!.

All the islands of Greece are yours my little Love!

Dance among the mountains! Pony ride the laughing winds!

The wind was made to love you Little Love! Powerful love!

And the stars were made to shine on you and whisper of my love!

For you shall live forever and be as the mountain springs

a thrusting and a gushing with the force of Gaia!

And the spring will become a river and the river a torrent

And the Universe shall not stop you my Little Love! My Powerful Love!

So sleep happily my Little Dios, my Little Love! My powerful Love!

The future is your diamond. The future is your bow and arrow.

Sleep little god, sleep little Powerful Love!"

Trevor broke into sobs again, "There WAS a time when I was loved and wanted, I…" He lost the capacity to speak, lost in his tears.

Champ said, "I don't know what to say!

Trevor suddenly smiled though his tears. "The less the better! You realize what will happen don't you? You try and tell anybody about this. I will deny it. It will be soooo fun for me to be the one acting like YOU are crazy and this is only going to last until you try and show it to someone. You try to get Claire up here, or Mrs. Taggarty or even the Orkan guy, (darn it he comes tomorrow) and our idiot box is back to speaking to English and I will never admit it happened. You will be the one facing a trip across the street to the Fairview Center for the Treatment of Emotional Wellness."

Trevor frowned, " Every time I leave this building I have to look at that PRISON across the street and know one wrong move upon my part, one little slip of the tongue indicating aggression. If I so much as accidentally cut myself which can happen to a bar tender. We have to cut up lemons you know but they might not believe it was just an accident that could happen to anyone. Or I try to break up a bar fight and get accused of starting it, I could be facing imprisonment and forced medication. And I'm so damn homesick! And no one believes me. But now YOU do!"

He continued, "I have to be careful for Claire's sake too you know. She could lose her license. And I need her, Champ! She is the only thing holding me together!"

Champ suddenly knew what to do. He came and put his arm around his roommate's shoulder. God or not the man was mental!'

Champ swallowed, "I'm sorry, Cupid!"

Trevor grinned, "Apology accepted! And guess what! There is a Classic Trek marathon on the sci fic channel tonight, and you are going to have to watch it with me in Italian!

Flash forward to next morning.

Claire was incredulous, "You say your TV set is speaking Italian? It is doing that right now?"

Champ shuttered, "I have it off right now. But If I turned it on and had you listen it would switch back to English. And if you come over here and try to see it would also convert to English again according to Trevor. I don't want to try. He is enjoying it in Italian. Let him have it for a while. I can go watch TV at my Girlfriends."

"Can you tape it?"

"I already tried. The tape recorder suddenly quit working until I took it downstairs. It works fine in the bar but fails the minute I bring it back upstairs. Claire this is really, really spooky! I'm freaked out and I don't know what to do. I figured you needed to know this about Trevor but I am frightened you are going to make me go talk to Dr Greely too. I really don't need commitment even if I have gone mad. I think if Trevor is allowed to run around loose I should be."

"I suppose that is true if you don't show further signs and can keep functioning. I can't believe you, you know, but I don't know what to say! You are telling me that you watched a Star Trek marathon everyone else saw in English in Italian last night?"

"Claire, we did! Captain Kirk spoke the intro in Italian and Trevor mouthed it with him the way I've seen him do it in English. He's just like any Trekker. He's seen the episodes so many times he can say the words before the Actors do and apparently he can do it in Italian as well as English. Obviously he is crazy that way too. But then many Trekkers are. It's a religion."

"Yes, Champ, Star Trek is a religion. But it is a religion that never had any martyrs, never burned anybody at the stake and never stole one inch of territory from a Native People. It has a trinity and a creed and myths. But being religious even in the conventional sense is not a sign of mental illness either. We have pet scans of People praying. They show they experience God in the same part of their brain they talk to their Friends with. It is conversation to them. That doesn't prove God exists but it doesn't disprove Him either and it does prove its' not a schizophrenic experience or an epileptic seizure. So Lily Tomlin is wrong.".

Lilly Tomlin?"

"Lilly Tomlin said, 'how come when you talk to God its prayer, but when God talks to you its schizophrenia?' Christian and other religious People who claim God talks to them are not necessarily schizophrenic if they show no other signs of mental disorder. If they are crazy it's a different kind of crazy and it leaves them feeling happy and peaceful not dysfunctional. We mental health workers need to know when to back off and leave well enough alone and this is definitely a place for backing off. Even speaking in tongues is a form of meditation no more crazy than repeating one word over and over again to calm them. There have been anecdotes of People speaking in tongues and saying real things in other languages they didn't know and usually things insightful to the situation at hand. There is an awful lot about that phenomenon we don't understand yet. But most of the time they are speaking in gibberish. But repeatedly saying gibberish over and over again ties up the left side of the brain and allows the right side to come out and play as does all meditation and it takes a whole lot less practice than most kinds."

Champ said, "Trevor rants and raves at his family sometimes. He sounds quite mad."

"Amazingly that is prayer too, Champ, not a psychotic hallucination. I had to work with Trevor quite a while before I was able to make that determination. But it s true."

"How did you tell?"

"His Rorschach test mostly. He doesn't see the horrible things in those inkblots Schizophrenics see. Except for more mythological references than usual he sees what normal People see; Animals and cartoon characters and yes, Vyger from Star Trek the Motion Picture. We get that a lot from Trekkers because Vyger was designed to look like a Rorschach test. Other signs Trevor is not schizophrenic is he can make sense when he talks if he can just can be kept away from talking about his delusions of godhood. And of course he can function normally. He can take care of himself and hold down a job since his Boss is tolerant of his delusion and his Customers think it's entertaining. He's attracts business to Taggardy's. He doesn't scare it off. Plus he can understand metaphors. Schizophrenics and some Autistics can't do that. For instance when I told him I wanted him to join my singles group he said, "Perfect! Fish in a barrow! A Schizophrenic never could understand what a singles group had to do with Fish in a barrel. But to Trevor it meant People there desperately need his services."

"That could be a sign he really is a god though too Claire."

"I find that highly unlikely Champ. Trevor is very disturbed."

"Wouldn't you be too? He has said he suspects the reason his family cast him down to this area was so he could get help from you. Doesn't that show He knows he needs help? Would a crazy person know that?"

Claire said, "Champ lots of People really do know they need help. It is a psychiatric myth among the general public that mentally ill People don't know they are mentally ill. Some don't but most do. Sigh. So you watched a Star Trek marathon in Italian or Trevor has you folie deduced to think you did because our fallen god from Olympus is a Star Trek fanatic."

Champ laughed, "Trevor even admits he is a fanatic!"

Claire laughed, "I find it hilarious that someone who thinks he is a god, a myth, would be so interested in so fanatically following another myth. But I'm not surprised. The man, RT Hale is obviously a Person who loves myths and Star Trek is a great one."

Champ said, "It even combines with the Greek mythology into one seamless whole. That episode, 'Who Mourns for Adonis' came on, with Apollo. Trevor was lamenting it was so sad it had been about his Uncle Apollo because Uncle Apollo is a Mundane who doesn't appreciate it, and that he's have done it for free and done his own stunts and special effects since he had his powers back when it was filmed. We've had that conversation before. I always thought he was completely nuts both as a Trekker and as a Mental Patent. But after our TV set switched to Italian I'm not so sure."

Claire suddenly realized she only had one way to cope with the situation. She started laughing. "Champ, keep me informed if you see any more anomalies like this. I am not so sure this is indicative of Trevor's problem, or lack or problem or if you are developing one of your own, so keep me informed. I have to get ready for work now. No charge for this consultation, and Cham be careful! You may be bordering on a problem of your own. My professional advice to you is to go to the amusement park or something this weekend. Get as far away from Trevor as you can for a while. It will be good for you."

"Yes Doctor. I will follow your advice! Remember Trevor won't confirm this happened."

"Goodbye, Champ."

"Thanks".

Click.

Champ turned his TV back on just to confirm it was still showing the Twilight Zone special in Italian.

Trevor came in then hauling a manikin."

Champ stared, "What in the world!"

Trevor grinned, "I found her in our dumpster. We share it with the dress shop next store. I don't know what I'm going to do with her but I know I'm thinking of something." He pointed at his skull, "I feel wheels turning up here!" He grinned. "The TV set still speaking splendidamente?"

Champ nodded solemnly.

Trevor plopped down on the conch and put his feet up on the coffee table. Champ sighed. He knew he would never get Trevor to ever not do that, especially now. Trevor watched TV until a commercial came on and then he said, "I found out something upsetting today. I am paying our next-door neighbor Timmy to teach me how to use the Internet. I think its about time this god became computer literate. I was thinking a great way to get one hundred couples really quickly would be to start 'Cupid's online dating service.' I suggested that to Timmy but he googled and darn it, Champ. There is already a dating service with my name! I am thinking about consulting a lawyer! It's MY name Champ! I had it first, thousands of years ago!"

Champ sighed. He suddenly realized nothing had really changed. There were still many ways his roommate really wasn't in touch with reality. "Cupid you just try and see how far you go with it. I don't think you will ever get a lawyer to believe you are really Cupid to take the case, not unless you can figure out a way to show him our TV set, and then what about the jury? What about the judge?"

Trevor sat on the couch and folded his arms and looked stubborn.

Suddenly Champ felt the humor of the situation bubbling up inside of him. He started laughing just as hard as Trevor had been crying the day before.

Trevor stared at his roomy as if he were the crazy one, then shrugged. Out of the blue he stated, "I just figured out what to do with my naked lady!"

***

Mrs. Taggarty stared at the sign her rather strange but highly competent barkeep had poster boarded. It said, "Win a naked lady raffle. Money goes to fight autism."

Mrs. Tannery asked, "Why autism, Love?"

Trevor said, "Because some Autistics have trouble feeling love so they are the one demographic I have the most trouble reaching."

Mrs. Tanner nodded thoughtfully. "Do you know they are getting a mannequin?"

Trevor giggled, "That's the beauty of it. They don't! I'm not going to explain what I mean. Curiosity will drive the purchase of some of the tickets."

Gently Mrs. Taggarty pointed out, "But what if the winner isn't happy?"

Cupid grinned a mischievous grin, "I'll give him his money back!"