I stared down at the pregnancy test in my hand, smiling. It was positive. The future I had always imagine flashed before my eyes, and a tear escaped my eye. After losing Max, I doubted that I'd ever be able to be happy again. I doubted that I'd ever be able to be in love again. I silently thanked the universe for giving me a second chance. I was going to have a baby.
I exited the bathroom and sat down on our couch, glancing around the living room. I could see it all… the backyard with the basketball hoop where our child would play after school, the mantle over the fireplace where framed school photos would sit, the dining room table where the cake would sit on their first birthday. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the front door swinging open. I turned to see my husband walk through and ran to greet him with a kiss.
"Hey." He said quietly.
"Hey." I smiled.
"I missed you."
"I missed you too." After a pause that I spent searching for the right words, I told him. "Look, I don't know how to tell you this. I've been trying to think of some way to say it and I can't think of anything, so I'm gonna just say it… I'm pregnant."
A grin spread across his face as he wrapped his arms around me, whispering that he loved me. I rested my head on his shoulder, aware that I had found a perfect moment.
Nearly a month later, we took a trip to We B Babies. Lily came along to help us out as well. She had been pregnant before, and because of that I found myself growing closer to her throughout my pregnancy. She understood every feeling I was having, and knew the best ways to deal with each and every one of them. She was supportive, almost motherly towards me, and I was grateful.
Ted was supportive as well, constantly concerning himself with how I was doing, despite his lack of understanding of what it felt like to be pregnant. I'd come home nearly every day to find him sitting on the couch reading books about pregnancy and birth and childcare. I could tell that he was going to be an amazing father.
The whole group really came together within that first month. Barney, Robin, Lily, and Marshall had each involved themselves in some way, which eased the frustrations of my morning sickness and unfulfillable cravings. It wasn't a picnic or anything, but there was something really nice about the whole thing. There was a sense of family between us and I was happy.
The three of us scanned the aisles of the store, buying the necessities as well as the things that we wouldn't be needing for another eight months, but were too excited to leave behind. What had always been nothing more than a fantasy was slowly transforming into a reality, and the realization of that took the majority of that first month to sink in.
When it was time for my first ultra-sound, everyone came along. The six of us sat anxiously in the waiting room, but only Ted came into the room with me. I had always heard, especially from Lily, how emotional it was to see your child for the first time, but I never quite understood the extent until my moment came.
"It's a girl." The nurse smiled at us, but I barely noticed, unable to pull my now tear-filled eyes away from my daughter.
"She looks just like you." Ted whispered in my ear and I laughed.
It was several more months before the big day came. I lay on a hospital cot, pushing as hard as I could, with Ted squeezing my hand beside me. The gang, with the exception of Barney and Robin, stood around me offering support. It took several hours of pain and sweat and tears before the baby was born.
I held her in my arms, smiling down at her sweetly, unable to comprehend how much I loved her, even after only knowing her for a few moments. I glanced over at my husband to see that he had tears in his eyes. "I'm just so happy. We're so lucky to have her and each other. I love you both so much. I love our family." He said quietly.
"We really are lucky, aren't we?"
"We are." He kissed my cheek. "So, what do you want to name her?"
After a moment I turned to him, grinning excitedly. "I've got it. What if we called her Penny?"
He nodded. "It's perfect. She's our little lucky penny."