Disclaimer: Rizzoli and Isles and all associated characters belong to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. I am not making any money from writing about them.
A/N: Come on...admit it...you've been there. I AM there. :-)
Maura's Addiction
"Hey guys, have you seen Maura?" called Jane as she walked into the bullpen. "I need that autopsy report and we were supposed to go to lunch and I'm starving," she continued as she flopped into her chair.
"Nope," said Frost, "haven't seen her all morning."
"Me either," said Korsak, "but wherever you go for lunch, bring me back something ...unless it's that healthy stuff."
Jane and Frost laughed; Korsak was a notorious junk food junkie but lately they had been sneaking him wheat bread that looked like white bread, and lowfat milk when they brought coffees to try to get him to take better care of himself.
Speaking of coffee...Jane's two giant cups were catching up to her so she headed for the bathroom, the only place she hadn't checked yet for Maura.
Jane pushed open the door to the ladies' room and saw that the last stall door was closed. "Great," she thought, "an audience." For someone as brash as Jane, she was extremely pee-shy.
Frankie teased her mercilessly about it when they were growing up because practically every day when they got home from school, Jane would sprint off the bus and into the house to the bathroom. Her little phobia still lingered, especially at work because there were so few women in the building.
If Maura ever found out she'd probably launch into some technical discussion about how unhealthy it was to ignore her "bodily urges," and warn about getting an infection or hyper-bladder-expialidocious or some other freak condition. Whatever.
Jane was about to start her "1-2-3-pee" mantra when she heard tinny music coming from the occupied stall. "What the heck?" thought Jane, "who brings their phone into the bathroom?"
She immediately recognized "doodle-oo-doo-doo, doodle-oo-doo-doo...doodle-oodle-oo-doodle-oo" and maniacal electronic laughter.
Jane had finally found Maura...and she was totally busted.
XXX- 1 Week Ago -XXX
Maura was in her office, sitting at her desk. Usually when she had some downtime she shopped online for shoes or purses, but she recently discovered a new activity that was becoming an all-consuming obsession: Angry Birds.
It was a deceptively simple game for her smartphone. The pigs in the barnyard had stolen all of the birds' eggs and built fortresses of varying materials and complexity to hide them.
She was in charge of launching several angry birds from a slingshot to topple the pigs and their structures, thereby earning points and the elusive 3-star rating for exceptional performance, i.e. causing mass destruction and especially for completing the level using the fewest birds possible.
The game was highly addictive and challenging for Maura's analytical mind. She loved calculating the best launch angle and impact point based on each bird and its unique attributes. In a nutshell, Maura was hooked and she played the game constantly.
The first time Jane caught her she had FINALLY completed scene 4-14, and jumped out of her chair in triumph. The victorious birds cheered enthusiastically for her.
"Maura, what the heck is going on in here?" asked Jane, leaning against the doorframe.
"Oh, Jane...you startled me! I was just...uh..." Maura's eyes darted to her phone, back to Jane, back to the phone where the angry birds were calling to her like the Sirens to Odysseus..."I was just playing this new game on my phone," she fessed up, because lying was impossible and she had no intention of going vasovagal now that she just had a breakthrough in Level 4.
"What? YOU are playing games on your phone? Lemme see." Jane reached for the phone but Maura snatched it back (my precious!) "No, never mind...it's just a silly game, Jane."
"Aw, come on Maura, it looked like you were having fun. I need some new games for my phone - tell me about it."
"OK, it's called Angry Birds and it's simple but challenging," explained Maura, going Google like Jane had never experienced before. "You see, you're in control of the slingshot and you have to shoot different birds to destroy the pigs' fortresses, so by setting the right angle and the proper trajectory you can break through the wood or stone structure. The red bird just flies, but the blue bird splits into 3 when you tap the screen, and the yellow bird does a dive, and the white bird..."
"OK, OK, stop!" said Jane. "I get it - you bust through the pig's house and you earn points. Sounds kind of boring."
Maura was horrified. "There is a lot more to it than that, Jane," she said, reloading her Google mouth. "If you destroy all or most of the structure with the highest score, AND have birds left over, you earn 3 stars for the level and once you have 3 stars for all 88 levels in the first 2 sections you earn 2 more Golden Eggs, in addition to the ones scatttered randomly throughout the game!" she finished breathlessly. "I'm really enjoying playing," said Maura, with a huge grin on her face.
"Yeah, I can see that," said Jane, not sharing her enthusiasm. "Now how about enjoying getting your coat - we've got a floater to pick up."
"Let me get my bag," said Maura, reluctantly closing the game. She'd have plenty of time after work to continue her onslaught.
XXX- 2 Days Ago -XXX
Jane and Maura were at the Rizzoli's for gnocchi night. Angela made her usual feast and everyone was in the living room with dessert and coffee. Frank, Jane, and Frankie were watching the Celtics game, Angela was reading a magazine, and Maura was pretending to watch the game but she was really concentrating on her phone. She had the sound off but couldn't hide the angry birds for long.
"Maura, are you still playing that stupid game?" Jane asked, looking over at her phone.
"Yes Jane, I just got the update and there are 45 new levels and 1 new bird!"
"Hey, is that Angry Birds?" asked Frankie, leaning over Jane to look at Maura's screen. "That is the best game ever!"
"Come on Frankie, you're hooked on it too?" Jane rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, me and the guys are all playing it to see who can make it through everything first. Last one done has to pay the next tab at the Robber. I'm stuck on the Hollywood sign," Frankie pouted, pulling out his phone and starting up the game. "Doodle-oo-doo-doo, doodle-oo-doo-doo..." it sang out, to the delight of Maura and Frankie.
"Frankie, I can help you with the Hollywood sign," Maura said enthusiastically, leaning over toward him and trapping Jane in the middle.
"Alright already! Would you two and the birds like a moment!" said Jane, getting up to switch places with Frankie so he and Maura could both huddle over their phones and plan their attack.
"Hey - you kids knock it off over there; I'm trying to watch the game!" yelled Frank. "And Janie, since you're up, get me another beer, will ya?"
"Sure, pop," answered Jane and headed toward the kitchen. When she got back she plopped down into the corner of the couch and gave Frankie a dirty look, but he was too busy trying to conquer the Hollywood sign to notice.
It didn't take long for Jane's curiosity to get the better of her, so she leaned over to take a look at the game and sure enough, several green pigs were peeking out of a cartoon wooden replica of the Hollywood sign. Maura was patiently coaching Frankie on the best place to land each bird for maximum destruction.
"So what is the deal with that white bird?" asked Jane.
Both Maura and Frankie looked up with the same incredulous look on their faces.
"Janie, 5 minutes ago you thought this game was stupid and now you want to play?"said Frankie.
"No, I do not want to play...I just wanted to see what the big attraction was," Jane shot back, but kept watching. A few more tries and Frankie beat the Hollywood sign! He and Maura high-fived and moved to the next level. Jane smiled - Maura looked so cute giggling with Frankie over the battle of birds and pigs.
They played a few more levels, with Maura giving Frankie tips on the upcoming scenes to help him stay ahead of his friends.
The game was wrapping up, Frank was asleep in his chair, and that was the cue for everyone to leave.
"Bye ma, thanks for dinner!" Jane said, giving Angela a hug.
"Thank you, Mrs. Rizzoli, everything was wonderful," said Maura. Angela grabbed her and gave her a big hug. "You're welcome any time Maura, and please call me Angela. Mrs. Rizzoli is Frank's mother!"
They all laughed and piled into their cars to go home. When Jane pulled into Maura's driveway to drop her off, Maura turned and said, "Thank you for inviting me Jane; I always have a nice time with your family."
"They love having you," said Jane, "and you made Frankie's day with all the pointers on that game."
"It really is fun Jane - you should give it a try."
"Hrmph. Maybe. I bet I could kick Frankie's butt!"
"See, that's the spirit!" Maura teased, and they both laughed.
"That's great that you have a fun game, Maura, just make sure you save some time for real people too!"
"Of course I will Jane...you know that."
"Yeah, I know. I'm just messing with you. Good night - I'll see you tomorrow."
"Good night. Thanks for the ride." Maura got out of the car and Jane waited until she unlocked the door and went inside. She waved to Jane, who then backed out and headed home.
XXX- Present Day -XXX
Jane hurried up in the bathroom and ran back to her desk before Maura spotted her. She had her chair back and her feet up when Maura walked in about 2 minutes later. "Geez Maura, where the heck have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you!"
For a second Maura got a panicked look on her face. She heard someone come into the bathroom but she was so engrossed with the birds that she never checked the shoes to see if it was Jane.
"I had to finish up some paperwork, then stopped in the restroom, " she answered, hoping that her and Jane's paths crossed in the elevator and Jane would be none the wiser that she had spent the last 15 minutes in the bathroom getting her latest game fix. "Are you ready to go?"
"Yes, finally - I'm starving!" replied Jane, grabbing her coat and holding the door for Maura as they headed outside. "Let's just go to that deli aroung the corner - is that OK?"
"Fine with me," said Maura. "They have a really good lobster roll."
It was pretty busy so they ended up sitting at the counter, and after placing their orders, Jane turned to Maura with a slight smirk on her face.
"Jane, what's wrong? Is everything OK?"
"Maura, I think you need an intervention."
"What? What do you mean? I don't abuse drugs or alcohol, I'm not overeating...I take good care of Bass...," her eyes teared up as she started to panic, wondering what Jane was talking about.
"No, no, Maura...honey...it's nothing like that," Jane said, taking Maura's hand to try to calm her down. "It's just that I'm worried about you being so obsessed with that bird game," Jane finished. Darn it, that was her in the bathroom, thought Maura.
"Excuse me? Jane, it's just a game - something to break up the monotony of the day and have fun!" Maura explained a little defensively.
"Yeah, but Maura, it's getting a little extreme. You are playing it ALL the time! I've never seen you so into anything like this before. It's a little...I dunno...weird," Jane finished.
Maura couldn't believe that Jane was so worked up over her playing a game on her phone. She had to get Jane to see that it was a fun but harmless activity...OK an obsession...who was she kidding...?
"Jane," she began, "I'm so 'into it,' as you put it, because it's like a puzzle...a challenge for me, and you know how much I love to solve a puzzle. It's like solving a case: looking at all sides of the story, using the evidence to put together the pieces of what happened, and finallly getting the answer. And since the game is fun and cute it's a nice distraction from the terrible things we see every day."
Wow. Jane had to admit that Maura had a point, and she felt like a jerk for picking on her for finding some small thing she enjoyed.
Maura could see that Jane felt contrite, and to drive home her point she continued, "I know how competitive you are Jane; I'm sure you've played video games with your brothers before. Didn't you always want to win?"
Jane knew Maura was right as she thought back to the mountains of quarters that she, Frankie, and Tommy spent to outdo each other and see their initials on the leaderboards of Centipede and Donkey Kong at the bowling alley when they were growing up.
"You're right Maura, we played all kinds of games and yeah, I always wanted to beat them...and I did most of the time," she admitted with a grin. "I'm sorry for being such a jerk and teasing you so much about the game. I was blowing it all out of proportion."
She looked up sheepishly and asked, "will you let me play? I do need some new games and you and Frankie looked like you were really having fun with it."
Maura practically clapped with glee as she pulled out her phone and opened Angry Birds. "Here you go - this is the very first scene. Just pull back the slingshot and knock over the tower."
Jane took out the pig and its simple fortress in one shot but was way short of beating Maura's high score. She narrowed her eyes and tried again and again, but still didn't come close.
Maura laughed and told her to go on to the next scene so she could see more of the game. After a few minutes Jane was so intent on playing that she didn't notice their food had arrived until Maura reached for the phone.
"Hey! I'm in the middle of - " Jane stopped, realizing she sounded just like Maura did that day in her office when Jane first found her playing. She finally understood Maura's addiction.
"Oh man, I guess I'm hooked now too."
Maura smiled a knowing smile and took her phone back, pushing Jane's plate toward her. "Hurry up and eat your sandwich, then you can download the game to your own phone."
Jane dug into her lunch...the sooner she finished, the sooner she could get back to the birds!
XXX- The Next Morning -XXX
Jane was at her desk, poring over paperwork...or at least that's what it looked like since she was so focused...but it wasn't paperwork that had her undivided attention. "Doodle-oo-doo-doo, doodle-oo-doo-doo..." Maura heard the familiar music as she walked in with a coffee for Jane.
She stood there for a minute, watching Jane as she fired off one angry bird after another. "Come on, come on...Awww, not fair!" yelled Jane, "that should have been 3 stars for sure...I was robbed!"
"Good morning Jane, having fun?" Maura asked.
"Maura! Hi!" Jane shot up from her chair, juggling her phone between her hands and almost dropping it. Yep, she's hooked all right, thought Maura.
"I...um...got in a little early so I...uh..." Jane sputtered as Maura looked at her with that sly grin on her face..
"It's OK Jane, I know how it is," Maura said, setting the coffee down on Jane's desk. "Just try to get some work done today, OK?"
"Yeah, I will," said Jane. "This game really is fun - thanks again for showing it to me. I can't wait to see what the next scene will be - some of the fortresses are really cute and when the pigs have their little helmets on...it's hilarious!" Good grief, Jane was going Google!
"Thanks for the coffee Maura. You up for lunch later?"
"Of course, Jane; come get me when you're ready."
Maura walked out with a smile on her face. She had gotten Jane to appreciate Angry Birds but she was definitely keeping Alchemy to herself.