Disclaimer:I don't own anything or anyone from Artemis Fowl.

Why do you hate me so? What did I ever do, but exist?

I ran, ran, ran, until I could barely breathe anymore, and still I wasn't far enough from you. Am I never to do anything right in your eyes? Is that why you always have a frown ready for me, and never a smile?

And now, when I can hear my heartbeat pulsing through my body, I wish so deeply that I could extinguish it forever. Then I could finally be free of this world, free to be me without your scorn pushing me back down again.

But it won't happen, will it? No. Curse my inability to stay angry with you.

You, with all your sinister charm that drew me in the first time. Even then, I could see the insanity behind your eyes, though you tried to hide it. And even though I could see it, I ignored it.

I thought that perhaps if I forgot, everything would be better...but it isn't, and now I realize that. It's almost as if your insanity is becoming mine, taking over my rational thought, forcing my innocence back into a corner of my mind. I don't feel like myself anymore.

I wonder if you'll ever understand why I did what I did, and be able to forgive me, because I can't forgive myself. Not after everything that has been done.

Did you know that I think about you every day? How your darkness drew me in and destroyed me, and yet it held me together? And now that you're gone, I'm falling apart again, becoming how I was when I first met you; an unstable, emotional wreck.

How did all this happen?

I watch myself doing things that I never would have imagined that I could do, and it is frightening. This feels so much like a dream; I see it as a dream.

Maybe, if I keep telling myself it's a dream, it will become one. Then I'll never have to worry again; I can do anything;I can die, live, or kill...and it won't really be happening, because it's a dream.

Only a dream.

I've had this small piece of writing for a while, but I didn't think about posting it here until now. I wrote it when I was feeling particularly sympathetic for Opal Koboi, so this is really about her, and her relationship with Cudgon. Maybe it's not exactly how Opal felt...but yes.

Constructive criticism and comments are always welcome, and I hope anyone who reads this enjoys reading it!