Steel Blade of Loneliness
By: Silver Teardrops
Chapter 1
Why? why did it have to be him? why did he do that? It was meant for me, why did he have to jump in front of me. I should be the one dead, not him. He doesn't deserve this, I brought this danger to him. I'm such a horrible person. To endanger someone's life like that.
"Kagome!! Watch out behind you!!!" Inuyasha's warning was a little too late and when I turned to see the attack, everything went blurry. First I see the demon lunging at me and then a blur of blue and green passed my eyes. Before I found the source of color I was distracted by Inuyasha slaying the demon into pieces with the tetsaiga. He landed on the ground safely sheathing the sword once more. I looked around for search of the fallen shikon shards when I found something else I rather not see, ever.
"Souta...Souta!!!" I ran to him. I first looked him from head to toe. Noticing his green shirt was now drenched in blood and his jeans ripped and also bloody. He was still breathing, barely.
"Kagome..."
"I'm here Souta...please hang on...Inuyasha I need you to take us to the hospital quick!" Kagome shouted and Inuyasha was on the way with the two in his arms.
"Kagome...please-..." Souta fell into unconsciousness and that was a bad sign.
"Hurry Inuyasha!! He's going to die!!!" Kagome panicked and Inuyasha sped up and arrived just inside the emergency room and placed Kagome down and flitted to the outside to hide for a while longer.
"Young lady when did you get here?" A doctor surprised that where he was looking at a while ago was empty now occupying a girl.
"No time...help my brother...he got in an accident...please help him." Kagome pleaded as the doctor ordered nurses to place Souta on a stretcher and the doctor nodded to reassure Kagome and ran after the racing people. Kagome felt dizzy. She collapsed on the ground, and was soon helped by Miroku, who was accompanied by Sango, and Shippo.
"Relax Kagome-san, the man will do his best to help Souta." He coaxed her to settle down.
The reason being that The whole gang was here was a demon was detected in Kagome's time with 5 shikon shards and they traveled back to her time and fought there, and so in result gained shards but the price for it was high. Kagome sat shivering with Inuyasha holding her and Miroku and Sango was sitting anxiously waiting for the doctor to come out again. Shippo was too exhausted in battle and was sleeping now in Sango's lap. Hours upon hours it seems passed, but finally the big pale blue doors opened and out came that doctor from before.
I rushed out of Inuyasha's warm embrace and in front of the doctor.
"So...how is he? Is he going to be ok? Can we see him? Answer me!" Inuyasha soon came up behind me and held onto my shoulders, I was half glad that he was human for tonight but also not. The doctor looked from me to Inuyasha and to Miroku and Sango.
"I'm afraid...I have bad news..." That shook my entire being. I grabbed hold of his white coat and pulled him to me. He looked shocked.
"What happened? Is he going to be alright?...Is he going to be alive?" I choked out as tears threaten to escape. He held onto my hands and gently removed it from his coat but not from his grasp.
"We couldn't do anything more to save him-Miss your brother is dead." The doctor hated to do this, because he knew how if felt to lose a sibling. I gasped, then slowly I backed away from the doctor who looked at me with sympathy in his large gray eyes. I backed into a wall and then slumped down curling my hands around my pulled in knees. I shook furiously crying. I heard Miroku and Sango ask if they could see him and Inuyasha came over and picked me up to see my brother one last time.
We entered very quietly, for no reason I might add. There he was, as best I could see through my blurred vision. He seems to be at peace lying there. The nurse probably cleaned up his blood and so he looks as if he was merely sleeping. I tugged on Inuyasha's clothes and begged to be put down. I was the first to come up to Souta. I stood over him, I took my hand and brushed his cheek slightly and then made move to push the bangs from his eyes, his face. I smiled, then felt whimpering trying to come out from my mouth. "Souta, are you resting alright?" I asked that every night to him when he was sleeping, always hearing an answer of ="Of course sis, you worry too much." But still nothing came from him. I took my other hand and covered my mouth trying to hold back the sobs that wanted to pierce through the silence of the room. The tears I could no longer stop, they flowed with my eyes open, I needn't to blink. I then fell to my knees and placed my head on his arm crying no longer stopping the loud sobs coming form myself. I could hear Sango's soft crying and Miroku's comforting words. I knew she could feel the same as me because of Kohaku, but I was the cause of Souta's death, Sango was because of a trap. I was fully guilty of his death. I clung onto the bed sheets, feeling my knuckles turn white. "Souta, Why? Answer me please. Why?" I begged my voice partially muffled by the sheets. After seemingly hours (really minutes, painful minutes) passed I felt Inuyasha tug at my sleeve. I looked up at him. He stepped back a little. Is he afraid that I might be the reason to his death too?
Inuyasha tugged on Kagome's sleeve to tell her that the doctor's really would like to see her. But when she looked up even Miroku, Sango, and Shippo (who was now awake tears in his green eyes) could see the guilt she felt and the pain. They all wanted to comfort her but the only person she let touch her ever since was Inuyasha.
"Kagome, please, the doctors would like to see you now, and the sooner it's done you can come back." Miroku's words hit me hard. The sooner I can come back to what? A corpse of my younger, kind brother? I was helped to my feet by Inuyasha and He led me to the waiting doctor just outside the horribly white and ghostly door. The creaking of the hinges were like fire burning me alive, it was just to loud after being in mostly silence. "I presume your name is Higuarashi kagome?" the doctor asked looking at some papers. I nodded, wiping some tears that still flowed. "Your brother was Souta?" I nodded again. "Well, I hear your mother and grandfather is out of town for a couple of days and is expected to return tomorrow because we contacted them for you. You see your family is close to the hospital as you can say." The doctor explained. I listened. "Well, since this happened I have to ask you what could have caused this? I mean once he arrived here, he had a huge cut in his stomach, almost piercing to the other side, and now it seems only like a minor cut slash. Please explain to me how this accident happened." The doctor went on describing the gruesome wounds and I cringed every time, knowing they weren't supposed to be on him. "Doctor I don't really know exactly what happened either, I heard loud noises, crashes and then went to find my brother there. I was just getting him a jacket since he preferred being outside for a while when I came back he was in this...condition." I held back my tears to at least get through this conversation. He nodded and that meant that he was finished with the questions and I went back into the room.
Sango and Miroku was at his side now, telling him that he was brave to have done what he did. That it wasn't in vain, that his sister, me, would live life for him. How could they say that so casually? As if I was actually going to live that easily with the guilt building in me? How so? I cleared my throat. "Sango, Miroku, I think you should be getting back to my house, You guys need rest after all the fighting." I reasoned and they was at my side in mere seconds. "We would like to be by your side, not at your house resting, relaxing. You need us and we'll be there for you." Sango's words were kind, but somehow I took it the wrong way entirely. "Sango-I never needed you or Miroku or even Shippo for that matter. Just-just leave me here and go back and rest, for you need it to find more shards to complete the jewel and defeat Naraku." I said bitterly, seconds later regretting what was spilled from my lips. I made an attempt to take it back but Miroku stopped me from it. "Ok, we'll leave you be Kagome-san but, know that we're here if you need us." And he took Sango's hand and Sango held the little kitsune in her arms when they walked out and back to the shrine. I sat down on the chair next to Souta's hospital bed. Inuyasha followed me but stayed a clear feet away or 2. He respected my mourning.
"Miss, I would really prefer you leave now." The nurse said once more to me. I knew why they wanted me out of this room-this hospital. They were going to announce to make official that Souta truly is dead and won't ever have a chance of coming back. I shook my head stubbornly. "No, I will stay here until he can't be seen anymore." Meaning by that was coming sooner than I hoped for as the nurse sighed when the two male nurse came in and placed a neatly ironed white sheet over my little bro's body. I held my tears in, as I knew this was why I stayed, to see him officially announced dead, to try to believe it myself. "Miss, visiting hours are over and-" The nurse began again. "No need, I've seen what I stayed for, and thank-you for cleaning him up at least a bit, I would hate to see him still covered in blood." I smiled a soul-less smile that made the nurse shiver at the very sight. "Good-night." She bowed and left as Inuyasha held me in another embrace to help me from shivering from the night's cold air.
***
"Kagome, please, come back when you feel like it, you don't have to come right away, take all the time you need." Sango assured her friend as the group was huddled around the well. It was well over 3 days since the funeral of Souta, and my mother and grandpa came home crying but didn't even think about blaming me for one second. How wrong they could be at times. I smiled. "Thank-you Sango, I'll take rest here and if you have and emergency tell Inuyasha to come get me and I'll be there in a second." I Went over to her and she hugged me and I to her. Then Miroku joined in and Shippo too. They were all there for me, I didn't deserve them. I let go and watch them descend down the well. The cursed well. But also I'm thankful for it. Strange as it may seem. I then notice something still in the corner.
"Shippo? Why didn't you leave with them?" I asked as he jumped into my open arms crying like the baby I treated him. "I didn't want to leave you, no matter what you said to me or did to me, I don't want to leave you." Shippo's whines registered in my mind and deep into my heart. He was like a son to me, the son I wanted all my life and hoped for. "It's ok Shippo-chan. You can stay here with me for a while, and Inuyasha will visit us occasionally." I cheerfully announced as he cheered up at least 5 times than he was just now. "really? Thank-you Kagome!" He held onto me and I combed through his fur.
"Inuyasha take care ok? And tell them don't worry, I'll get over this soon, I hope. So tell them enjoy themselves they deserve it." I bid a temporary farewell to Inuyasha as he leaped down into the dark well two days after the other group members' departure. Shippo was still asleep at such an early hour in the morning, even the birds refused to chirp at this time. I went on my way tighten my grip on my jacket thrown around my shoulders. I went to a bench placed by a tree, not the Goshinboku, but another old tree. It was more of and oak or pine or something of that sort. I didn't really care at the moment. I just wanted a place to think, and being outside away from any contact with modern technology was the best answer right now. I breathe in and out in an attempt to relax and soon found how the warm breeze around me feel like when I talked to him. It made me even guiltier but also the same time glad that I can still remember what effect he had on me.
My little brother, always there to help out. Though sometimes he does get a bit whiny but he is a kid after all. Ever since I was sucked into the well, Souta had matured mentally though not yet physically. he stood up to most of his fears. I loved my brother, anyone could tell by the way I was around him or the subject of him. What is to happen now? I am now the only child my mother has left. What more can I do? I don't want to kill another, I don't want to live anymore. I stared at the pocket knife I carried around all times now, just in case. I looked at the blade, the first rays of morning reflecting off it like a mirror. I brought it closer to my wrist. It won't hurt much, not as much as I am already hurting inside. I took my left wrist and was about to slice it on a vein when mother came out. I quickly hid the folded knife back into my nightgown.
"Kagome, you should go inside, I have made breakfast if you wish to eat." My mother stands by the bench I'm on. I smile and stood up taking her arm with my arm. "Let's wake up grandpa and Shippo, they need to learn how to wake up early anyways. I'll help you set the table." I replied and we made our way back into the house. I finished placing the plates filled with appetizing food when Shippo bounded down the stairs with gramps scampering after him. "Get back here Kitsune! Who told you to play such a cruel joke on an elderly man?" Gramps complained at Shippo while the fox stuck his tongue at him. "Why you-" "Gramps." I warned and he grumbled to himself and made his way to an empty chair and sat devouring the food right away. "Kagome, which is my plate?" Shippo asked tugging on my work uniform. I picked him up and kissed him on his cheek. "Whichever one you like. Tell my mom that I have to go to work now and to rest while she's at it. I make enough to put some food on the table." I let Shippo down as he pouted a little but ate food while I left.
A/n: okay im finished with the first chapter. and thinking i should stop, so i need your reviews either to tell me i'll be wasting my time or you could tell me to get off my lazy butt and start typin more to this story. It's all up to the reviewers. If i don't get about 10 or more i'm going stop this story from progressing so read and review!!! by the way is that kagome's real last name and is that how u spell souta? kay review to me my mistakes too.
By: Silver Teardrops
Chapter 1
Why? why did it have to be him? why did he do that? It was meant for me, why did he have to jump in front of me. I should be the one dead, not him. He doesn't deserve this, I brought this danger to him. I'm such a horrible person. To endanger someone's life like that.
"Kagome!! Watch out behind you!!!" Inuyasha's warning was a little too late and when I turned to see the attack, everything went blurry. First I see the demon lunging at me and then a blur of blue and green passed my eyes. Before I found the source of color I was distracted by Inuyasha slaying the demon into pieces with the tetsaiga. He landed on the ground safely sheathing the sword once more. I looked around for search of the fallen shikon shards when I found something else I rather not see, ever.
"Souta...Souta!!!" I ran to him. I first looked him from head to toe. Noticing his green shirt was now drenched in blood and his jeans ripped and also bloody. He was still breathing, barely.
"Kagome..."
"I'm here Souta...please hang on...Inuyasha I need you to take us to the hospital quick!" Kagome shouted and Inuyasha was on the way with the two in his arms.
"Kagome...please-..." Souta fell into unconsciousness and that was a bad sign.
"Hurry Inuyasha!! He's going to die!!!" Kagome panicked and Inuyasha sped up and arrived just inside the emergency room and placed Kagome down and flitted to the outside to hide for a while longer.
"Young lady when did you get here?" A doctor surprised that where he was looking at a while ago was empty now occupying a girl.
"No time...help my brother...he got in an accident...please help him." Kagome pleaded as the doctor ordered nurses to place Souta on a stretcher and the doctor nodded to reassure Kagome and ran after the racing people. Kagome felt dizzy. She collapsed on the ground, and was soon helped by Miroku, who was accompanied by Sango, and Shippo.
"Relax Kagome-san, the man will do his best to help Souta." He coaxed her to settle down.
The reason being that The whole gang was here was a demon was detected in Kagome's time with 5 shikon shards and they traveled back to her time and fought there, and so in result gained shards but the price for it was high. Kagome sat shivering with Inuyasha holding her and Miroku and Sango was sitting anxiously waiting for the doctor to come out again. Shippo was too exhausted in battle and was sleeping now in Sango's lap. Hours upon hours it seems passed, but finally the big pale blue doors opened and out came that doctor from before.
I rushed out of Inuyasha's warm embrace and in front of the doctor.
"So...how is he? Is he going to be ok? Can we see him? Answer me!" Inuyasha soon came up behind me and held onto my shoulders, I was half glad that he was human for tonight but also not. The doctor looked from me to Inuyasha and to Miroku and Sango.
"I'm afraid...I have bad news..." That shook my entire being. I grabbed hold of his white coat and pulled him to me. He looked shocked.
"What happened? Is he going to be alright?...Is he going to be alive?" I choked out as tears threaten to escape. He held onto my hands and gently removed it from his coat but not from his grasp.
"We couldn't do anything more to save him-Miss your brother is dead." The doctor hated to do this, because he knew how if felt to lose a sibling. I gasped, then slowly I backed away from the doctor who looked at me with sympathy in his large gray eyes. I backed into a wall and then slumped down curling my hands around my pulled in knees. I shook furiously crying. I heard Miroku and Sango ask if they could see him and Inuyasha came over and picked me up to see my brother one last time.
We entered very quietly, for no reason I might add. There he was, as best I could see through my blurred vision. He seems to be at peace lying there. The nurse probably cleaned up his blood and so he looks as if he was merely sleeping. I tugged on Inuyasha's clothes and begged to be put down. I was the first to come up to Souta. I stood over him, I took my hand and brushed his cheek slightly and then made move to push the bangs from his eyes, his face. I smiled, then felt whimpering trying to come out from my mouth. "Souta, are you resting alright?" I asked that every night to him when he was sleeping, always hearing an answer of ="Of course sis, you worry too much." But still nothing came from him. I took my other hand and covered my mouth trying to hold back the sobs that wanted to pierce through the silence of the room. The tears I could no longer stop, they flowed with my eyes open, I needn't to blink. I then fell to my knees and placed my head on his arm crying no longer stopping the loud sobs coming form myself. I could hear Sango's soft crying and Miroku's comforting words. I knew she could feel the same as me because of Kohaku, but I was the cause of Souta's death, Sango was because of a trap. I was fully guilty of his death. I clung onto the bed sheets, feeling my knuckles turn white. "Souta, Why? Answer me please. Why?" I begged my voice partially muffled by the sheets. After seemingly hours (really minutes, painful minutes) passed I felt Inuyasha tug at my sleeve. I looked up at him. He stepped back a little. Is he afraid that I might be the reason to his death too?
Inuyasha tugged on Kagome's sleeve to tell her that the doctor's really would like to see her. But when she looked up even Miroku, Sango, and Shippo (who was now awake tears in his green eyes) could see the guilt she felt and the pain. They all wanted to comfort her but the only person she let touch her ever since was Inuyasha.
"Kagome, please, the doctors would like to see you now, and the sooner it's done you can come back." Miroku's words hit me hard. The sooner I can come back to what? A corpse of my younger, kind brother? I was helped to my feet by Inuyasha and He led me to the waiting doctor just outside the horribly white and ghostly door. The creaking of the hinges were like fire burning me alive, it was just to loud after being in mostly silence. "I presume your name is Higuarashi kagome?" the doctor asked looking at some papers. I nodded, wiping some tears that still flowed. "Your brother was Souta?" I nodded again. "Well, I hear your mother and grandfather is out of town for a couple of days and is expected to return tomorrow because we contacted them for you. You see your family is close to the hospital as you can say." The doctor explained. I listened. "Well, since this happened I have to ask you what could have caused this? I mean once he arrived here, he had a huge cut in his stomach, almost piercing to the other side, and now it seems only like a minor cut slash. Please explain to me how this accident happened." The doctor went on describing the gruesome wounds and I cringed every time, knowing they weren't supposed to be on him. "Doctor I don't really know exactly what happened either, I heard loud noises, crashes and then went to find my brother there. I was just getting him a jacket since he preferred being outside for a while when I came back he was in this...condition." I held back my tears to at least get through this conversation. He nodded and that meant that he was finished with the questions and I went back into the room.
Sango and Miroku was at his side now, telling him that he was brave to have done what he did. That it wasn't in vain, that his sister, me, would live life for him. How could they say that so casually? As if I was actually going to live that easily with the guilt building in me? How so? I cleared my throat. "Sango, Miroku, I think you should be getting back to my house, You guys need rest after all the fighting." I reasoned and they was at my side in mere seconds. "We would like to be by your side, not at your house resting, relaxing. You need us and we'll be there for you." Sango's words were kind, but somehow I took it the wrong way entirely. "Sango-I never needed you or Miroku or even Shippo for that matter. Just-just leave me here and go back and rest, for you need it to find more shards to complete the jewel and defeat Naraku." I said bitterly, seconds later regretting what was spilled from my lips. I made an attempt to take it back but Miroku stopped me from it. "Ok, we'll leave you be Kagome-san but, know that we're here if you need us." And he took Sango's hand and Sango held the little kitsune in her arms when they walked out and back to the shrine. I sat down on the chair next to Souta's hospital bed. Inuyasha followed me but stayed a clear feet away or 2. He respected my mourning.
"Miss, I would really prefer you leave now." The nurse said once more to me. I knew why they wanted me out of this room-this hospital. They were going to announce to make official that Souta truly is dead and won't ever have a chance of coming back. I shook my head stubbornly. "No, I will stay here until he can't be seen anymore." Meaning by that was coming sooner than I hoped for as the nurse sighed when the two male nurse came in and placed a neatly ironed white sheet over my little bro's body. I held my tears in, as I knew this was why I stayed, to see him officially announced dead, to try to believe it myself. "Miss, visiting hours are over and-" The nurse began again. "No need, I've seen what I stayed for, and thank-you for cleaning him up at least a bit, I would hate to see him still covered in blood." I smiled a soul-less smile that made the nurse shiver at the very sight. "Good-night." She bowed and left as Inuyasha held me in another embrace to help me from shivering from the night's cold air.
***
"Kagome, please, come back when you feel like it, you don't have to come right away, take all the time you need." Sango assured her friend as the group was huddled around the well. It was well over 3 days since the funeral of Souta, and my mother and grandpa came home crying but didn't even think about blaming me for one second. How wrong they could be at times. I smiled. "Thank-you Sango, I'll take rest here and if you have and emergency tell Inuyasha to come get me and I'll be there in a second." I Went over to her and she hugged me and I to her. Then Miroku joined in and Shippo too. They were all there for me, I didn't deserve them. I let go and watch them descend down the well. The cursed well. But also I'm thankful for it. Strange as it may seem. I then notice something still in the corner.
"Shippo? Why didn't you leave with them?" I asked as he jumped into my open arms crying like the baby I treated him. "I didn't want to leave you, no matter what you said to me or did to me, I don't want to leave you." Shippo's whines registered in my mind and deep into my heart. He was like a son to me, the son I wanted all my life and hoped for. "It's ok Shippo-chan. You can stay here with me for a while, and Inuyasha will visit us occasionally." I cheerfully announced as he cheered up at least 5 times than he was just now. "really? Thank-you Kagome!" He held onto me and I combed through his fur.
"Inuyasha take care ok? And tell them don't worry, I'll get over this soon, I hope. So tell them enjoy themselves they deserve it." I bid a temporary farewell to Inuyasha as he leaped down into the dark well two days after the other group members' departure. Shippo was still asleep at such an early hour in the morning, even the birds refused to chirp at this time. I went on my way tighten my grip on my jacket thrown around my shoulders. I went to a bench placed by a tree, not the Goshinboku, but another old tree. It was more of and oak or pine or something of that sort. I didn't really care at the moment. I just wanted a place to think, and being outside away from any contact with modern technology was the best answer right now. I breathe in and out in an attempt to relax and soon found how the warm breeze around me feel like when I talked to him. It made me even guiltier but also the same time glad that I can still remember what effect he had on me.
My little brother, always there to help out. Though sometimes he does get a bit whiny but he is a kid after all. Ever since I was sucked into the well, Souta had matured mentally though not yet physically. he stood up to most of his fears. I loved my brother, anyone could tell by the way I was around him or the subject of him. What is to happen now? I am now the only child my mother has left. What more can I do? I don't want to kill another, I don't want to live anymore. I stared at the pocket knife I carried around all times now, just in case. I looked at the blade, the first rays of morning reflecting off it like a mirror. I brought it closer to my wrist. It won't hurt much, not as much as I am already hurting inside. I took my left wrist and was about to slice it on a vein when mother came out. I quickly hid the folded knife back into my nightgown.
"Kagome, you should go inside, I have made breakfast if you wish to eat." My mother stands by the bench I'm on. I smile and stood up taking her arm with my arm. "Let's wake up grandpa and Shippo, they need to learn how to wake up early anyways. I'll help you set the table." I replied and we made our way back into the house. I finished placing the plates filled with appetizing food when Shippo bounded down the stairs with gramps scampering after him. "Get back here Kitsune! Who told you to play such a cruel joke on an elderly man?" Gramps complained at Shippo while the fox stuck his tongue at him. "Why you-" "Gramps." I warned and he grumbled to himself and made his way to an empty chair and sat devouring the food right away. "Kagome, which is my plate?" Shippo asked tugging on my work uniform. I picked him up and kissed him on his cheek. "Whichever one you like. Tell my mom that I have to go to work now and to rest while she's at it. I make enough to put some food on the table." I let Shippo down as he pouted a little but ate food while I left.
A/n: okay im finished with the first chapter. and thinking i should stop, so i need your reviews either to tell me i'll be wasting my time or you could tell me to get off my lazy butt and start typin more to this story. It's all up to the reviewers. If i don't get about 10 or more i'm going stop this story from progressing so read and review!!! by the way is that kagome's real last name and is that how u spell souta? kay review to me my mistakes too.