Title: Hello/Goodbye
Author: Seylin
Summary: Life is a series of hello's and goodbye's… it's time for goodbye again.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Slash. Marcus/Seth
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephenie Meyer. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. I also do not claim to own the quote used from iFall of the House of Usher/i written by Edgar Allan Poe.
Note: This started out as a drabble request, the prompt being "terminal illness". Should have known I wouldn't be able to keep that one to just a drabble.
Hello/Goodbye
Marcus put his car in park after pulling into a spot marked bVisitor/i in the nursing home parking lot. He stared at the building for a long moment before turning his car off. It had been one week, one long hellish week, since the last patient he had been visiting had passed away. He had known going into this volunteer program that he would lose patients but it was extra credit and also prepared him for when he completed his nursing degree.
"I should have been a doctor," he mumbled. Doctors didn't get as close to their patients as nurses. Doctors were always there. Nurses were there. Nurses made the difference in people's lives by making every day of their recovery… or what was left better. And that was why Marcus had decided to become a nurse.
Getting out of his car he locked it and then headed inside. A girl with short black hair, the ends dying with red, smiled at him as he came in. "Marcus! Welcome back, we've had some lonely patients asking for you this past week."
"I'm sorry Alice, school got the better of me I'm afraid. But it was a chance to recover as well."
Alice nodded in understanding. "Mrs. Turner is in a better place now, she's out of pain. But it is always hard to lose a patient. We all get close to our patients here. Oh, speaking of patients you have a new one in your hall. His name is Seth and he's a real sweetheart, also a bit of a special case." Alice handed Marcus the patient folder.
Marcus raised an eyebrow as he took the folder. Most volunteers wouldn't have been allowed to look at the patient files of those they visited but since he was a nurse in training he had been given permission. Marcus' eyebrows rose further as he read the information.
"Seventeen? He's seventeen? But this is a nursing home for the elderly…why?" He questioned.
"The Make A Wish Foundation arranged it. Not very often you find a kid who wants to spend his last few months with the elderly huh?" Alice asked with a smile.
Just before she said that, Marcus had found the word iTerminal/i on the patient's chart. "No, very rare… His name is Seth Clearwater?"
"Mhm," Alice answered. "I've spoken with him. He's really, really sweet. Always smiling. He's from a town near Forks, which is about two hours from here. Really it's an Indian reservation… but I don't remember his tribe or the name of that. Well! I shouldn't keep you any longer; you have patients who will love to see you."
"You're right. See you later Alice." Giving her one last smile Marcus headed down the hallway to his first patient's room. The elderly woman was just as Alice had said she would be, excited to see him. It saddened Marcus to see how few guests these people got but it always made him feel better knowing that he could brighten their day a bit. For an hour he and the elderly woman played game after game of chess and talked about unimportant things.
At the end of the afternoon Marcus found himself standing outside his newest patient's room. He didn't know how comfortable he felt having a patient who was only seventeen… and terminal… He had read Seth's chart over his lunch break. Seth had been diagnosed with Acute Leukemia almost a year prior, at first his body had responded to treatments but then stopped, no matter what the doctor's tried. Now he had only a few months left. Now all the doctor's could do was make his time left as comfortable as possible.
The door opened suddenly and Marcus found himself staring at a tan boy with black hair that touched his shoulders. His brown eyes sparkled with an amount of life Marcus rarely saw these days, at least while volunteering. The boy was also smiling, a big, white smile. "Are you coming in…or just going to stand in the hallway?"
Marcus blinked and found himself returning the smile. "Sorry I spaced out there for a moment. Hello, I'm Marcus, I volunteer here at the nursing home."
"I know, Alice told me. She's very nice. You know what? I've been stuck in this room all day. How about we visit outside? Through my window I can tell it's a gorgeous day," Seth said.
"Sure if that's what you want to do," Marcus agreed. "It is a beautiful day."
"Great!" Seth stepped outside his room, closing the door after he had rolled his IV pole out.
Marcus spied the code for morphine on the bag that hung from it, also the lowest dosage. He stepped back so Seth could come further into the hallway. He walked by Seth's side and opened the door for him once they reached the garden area. He smiled at the peaceful look that came to Seth's face as he took in a deep breath of the fresh air.
"Did you spend a lot of time outside at home? You seem to be really at ease here," Marcus questioned waving a hand to the area around them.
Seth smiled as they walked along one of the paths. "Yeah, my friends and I spent hours outside every day. La Push, which is the name of the rez, is right on the ocean so we often go down and have bonfires on the beach. I love the bonfires and all of us just being together, but the best part is the stories."
"The stories?" Marcus questioned.
"Mhm! Sometimes it's legends about our tribe and other times the older guys will tell ghost stories. I love the really scary ghost stories."
They found a bench and sat on it just enjoying the beautiful, warm sunshine for awhile. Marcus learned that Seth was a very open person and didn't really need to be probed for any information on himself or his family/friends. Seth talked freely about his mother and sister; his father had died a few years ago. He talked about his friends, the boys he considered to be elder and younger brothers, "We're like a wolf pack" he had said with a laugh.
The afternoon passed quickly and before he knew it Alice had come to find them because it was time for the residents to have supper. "Chicken or fish Seth?" She asked as they walked back inside.
"Chicken please," he replied. "Marcus, I had a really great afternoon. Will I see you tomorrow?"
"I actually have classes tomorrow but I'll be back the next day. I had a great afternoon too. It was a pleasure to meet you."
"Likewise Marcus."
-x-
Over the next couple of months Marcus learned more and more about Seth. His favorite color was green; he loved classic rock, hated opera, was fluent in his native language and loved to read. Marcus had also met Seth's mother, sister and quite a few of the guys that Seth considered his brothers. Though he had never been inside Seth's room, they always went outside the moment Marcus got to his room.
Now it was Halloween and Marcus was going to make use of Seth's love for scary stories. He had come to the nursing home dressed in full vampire costume. His outfit, though he really suspected it was his fangs, had given some of his other patients quite a scare. In his hand he carried a book of what was promised to be the scariest stories in existence. He wasn't sure he believed it that much but hoped it would please Seth nonetheless.
Marcus checked the garden first, since that is where he usually found Seth. But Seth wasn't in the garden. Going inside he checked the rec room, the cafeteria and the small library that had been recently added, but like the garden Seth wasn't there.
"Looking for Seth?" Alice asked when she passed him as he wondered out of the library.
"Yes, have you seen him?"
"He's in his room. The doctor uped his dosage because his pain was getting worse and he's not responding well to it. He was asleep the last I saw but I'm sure he wants to see you. He looks forward to your visits as much as the other patients," Alice told him.
Marcus nodded. "Thank you Alice." Turning, he headed in the direction of Seth's room.
When he reached Seth's room the door was slight ajar. Marcus knocked lightly before pushing it open slowly. This was the first time he had come into Seth's room and he wasn't sure Seth wanted him there, since Seth had always stopped him at the door. He spied Seth asleep in his bed, his skin paler than usual, his ever present IV bag attached and dripping medicine into his arm. Marcus took the moment of silence to look around Seth's room.
The patient's at this nursing home were encouraged to make their rooms their own during their stay. Seth's room was no different. The walls were covered with posters from his favorite bands and movies. Closer to the head of his bed the wall was covered with pictures of his family and friends. Marcus studied those more so than the posters. It was the pictures that really told him about Seth.
Numerous pictures were on a beach, Marcus assumed that it was First Beach; the one Seth always talked about where the bonfires were held. Others were of his mother and sister; there were a few from various birthdays. Marcus smiled at one of Seth, his face covered in cake. More pictures were of groups of boys, some serious where in others they were making faces at the camera. Get Well cards had also been taped to the wall with the photographs, there were too many cards and little notes to count, Seth was very lucky to have so many people love him.
Stepping closer Marcus reached out to touch a group picture where Seth was in the middle. He glanced down to make sure he wasn't stepping on any important wires and that's when he realized Seth was awake and watching him. Marcus froze, unsure if Seth would become angry for him entering the room without permission. Seth's expression didn't turn into one of anger… it was more sleepy than anything. Finally the boy smiled and Marcus allowed himself to relax.
"You're early…" Seth mumbled sinking further into his pillows with a yawn.
Marcus blinked and checked the clock. "Seth, it's almost five pm."
Seth looked confused for a moment before he realized that he had been sleeping all day. "I didn't get to go outside today…"
"We can still go if you want, there's a bit of sun left," Marcus offered.
"No, that's alright. I think I might throw up if I attempt to stand. This uppage in dosage is doing a number on me."
"A couple of days in your system and you should start tolerating it better."
Seth nodded and swallowed. "You want to know what I dreamt about today Marcus?"
"Sure," Marcus answered taking a seat in the chair closest to Seth's bed.
"I dreamt of senior prom. Before my body stopped responding to treatments… I was going to just go with my friends…"
"You didn't have a girl you were going to ask?" Marcus questioned. Seth was a cute boy, not that he would tell anyone that.
Seth smiled a little. "I'm sure plenty would but I would rather take another boy," he answered. He glanced over to see Marcus' expression. He laughed when he saw the wide eyed look of shock when just about anyone found out he was gay. "Yeah, that's what I usually get. I bet you got a few looks too? Or did you not take anyone to prom?"
Marcus blushed. How had Seth known? He had never mentioned his sexual orientation to anyone here. Was he that obvious?
"I just notice these things, don't worry, I doubt anyone else knows," Seth told him. "Anyway, I dreamt of prom and once I woke up… I realized I won't be going to my senior prom, at least not in this body. I know I won't live to long past Christmas… if that. When I realized that I got to thinking… y'know I've never had my first ireal/i kiss? Boy and girl alike. Never. I have driven a car so that's a plus I guess."
Marcus was quiet as Seth rambled on. Until today he had almost, ialmost/i, forgotten that Seth was dying. In a few months he would be gone and would never have the chance to do those things that students look forward to their last year of high school… it was incredibly saddening for him.
"Hey, what's that?" Seth asked.
"Hm?"
"The book, what is it?"
"Oh! I wanted to surprise you, happy Halloween Seth," Marcus said as he handed the book over.
Seth's eyes lit up as he read the title of the book. "The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe. Wow!"
Marcus smiled. "So you like it?"
"He's supposed to have written some wicked scary stuff right? Will you read me a story?"
Marcus sat back and crossed his legs. "I think I could work a story in before I have to leave."
Seth grinned and handed the book back, already feeling better. He adjusted his pillows and settled in. "Please good sir, begin if you will."
Grinning Marcus flipped through the book until he found a story he thought Seth would find particularly creepy. He cleared his throat and then began to read. "During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary tract of country; and at length found myself, as the shades of the evening drew on, within view of the melancholy House of Usher…"
-x-
As December approached Marcus could only watch as Seth's condition worsened. It amazed him that Seth had only been there for a few short months and yet the younger had become his best friend. There were no secrets between them. Marcus also hated to admit it… because he knew it was only going to hurt worse when the end came… but he had fallen in love with Seth. His pure laugh, his happy smile, his gentle nature…
The second week of December brought a fresh two inches of snow. Seth was confined to bed now, breathing through an oxygen mask almost 24/7. He had lost weight too, when Marcus passed Seth's sister on his way in he would usually see her crying. It always broke his heart.
Marcus was about to walk in when he spotted Leah sitting on a bench outside the building, crying into her hands. He debated approaching her for a moment, knowing it wasn't really his place but in the end he couldn't just leave her crying there alone. "Leah?" He questioned softly. When she looked up the utter anguish in her eyes made Marcus' heart stop, he started to pray, hoping Seth hadn't… that he wasn't… "Is it Seth?"
"You could say that in a way," Leah sniffed as she wiped her tears away. "My brother has forbidden me, everyone from the rez really, from coming to see him."
Marcus' eyes widened. "What? Why?"
Leah shook her head. "He doesn't want us to remember him how he is now but how he was." She paused and looked up at the sky, trying to blink her tears back. "Doesn't he understand Marcus? By refusing to see us he's not letting us say goodbye…"
Not knowing what else to do Marcus opened his arms to the young woman. Leah fell into them willingly, crying into his coat. "Shh…" He tried to sooth. "He just wants to protect you."
"I'm the big sister! That's my job! I need to say goodbye!"
Marcus didn't have a reply to that so he just hugged Leah tighter hoping to comfort her as much as possible. Maybe he could talk to Seth later… but first he had some plans to arrange.
-x-
Seth was sleeping fitfully when a hand on his shoulder gently shook him awake. He blinked his blurry vision until it cleared. Marcus stood over him, giving him that concerned look he had become so used to. Taking a deep breath, Seth pulled his oxygen mask off. "Yes?"
"I know you don't feel like it but I have a surprise for you."
"A surprise? Marc… couldn't it wait?" Seth yawned.
Marcus smiled. "No."
Just then Alice entered the room, a bright smile on her face. In her hand she carried a bowtie. Seth raised an eyebrow as she started to raise his bed. "What are you doing?"
"It's a surprise," Alice replied as she helped him sit up. She tied the bowtie around his neck. "I would have gotten you a suit but this was a sudden decision on Marcus' part."
"…A suit?" Seth questioned. Alice just smiled and helped him stand. Seth's legs shook and didn't want to support his weight but before he could ask for a wheelchair Marcus had scooped him up into his arms. Seth blinked in surprise, a blush filling his cheeks. "Marc?"
"Just enjoy this Seth. It's one of the few things I can do for you."
Seth stared at Marcus' face as they left his room, Alice bringing the oxygen tank and his IV pole. What was he planning? Figuring he would find out soon enough Seth relaxed in Marcus' arms, resting his cheek against the puffiness of Marcus' coat. Why was he still wearing his coat? Before he could ask they had stopped at the doors that led out to the garden and Alice was tucking a blanket around him.
"I think it best if you leave the oxygen tank but you'll have to guide your IV pole," she stated slipping gloves on his hands.
Seth wrapped his hand around the IV pole. He still wanted to ask but held his questions at bay knowing he wouldn't get an answer. Alice opened the doors and he shivered against the blast of cold air that came in as Marcus stepped outside. He sank further into Marcus' hold hoping to share some of his warmth. Glancing back over Marcus' shoulder, Alice smiled at him again and flipped a switch.
Gentle light filled the garden and Seth looked around in wonder. The trees had been strung with strings of white lights. Falling snow reflected off them creating a beautiful sparkling effect. "Wow…" He breathed.
"Do you like it?"
"It's beautiful!" Seth closed his eyes and took in a deep breath of the cold, clean air. It made him feel more alive than he had in weeks. Suddenly, music started, not loud but very soft. Seth knew Alice had somehow done it but he looked up at Marcus.
The taller man was looking down at him with the softest expression Seth had ever seen. "I spent the afternoon creating… prom for you."
Seth's eyes widened and he looked around again. "Prom… a winter wonderland…"
Marcus smiled. "I'm glad you like it."
"Could we dance?" Seth asked.
"Of course," Marcus agreed. He knew Seth couldn't stand on his own, especially without shoes so as Seth held his IV pole close he started to sway and turn them in slow circles. Humming along with the music, Marcus held Seth close, his chin resting on Seth's head. Marcus knew they couldn't stay long, he didn't want Seth catching a cold but he wanted this moment to last forever. When the second song had ended Marcus raised his head. Seth looked up at the movement, a shiver passing through his thin frame. "I have one more thing to give you."
"What more could you give me Marcus? This is more than amazing."
"How about your first kiss?"
Seth's eyes widened as Marcus leaned down and captured his lips in a soft kiss. He was too stunned to respond for a moment but then his eyes closed and he leaned up into the warmth that Marcus provided. His first… and maybe last… kiss.
When Marcus pulled back Seth stared up at him. Tears gathered in Seth's eyes and he leaned his head against Marcus' shoulder. "I'm glad it was you…" He whispered.