They had been investigating the empty alley where the suspect had been seen fleeing with a weapon.
Aramis wouldn't have noticed anything was wrong had he not seen the look in Porthos' eyes. It wasn't a look of panic or sudden fear, but rather one of apprehension. It was apparent that the bigger man did not want to be here.
"You wanna go fill Athos in?" He asked lightly trying to make it seem as if the job needed to be done.
But Porthos wouldn't fall into such a trick. He was too smart for that. And Aramis knew it.
Shaking his head he forced a tight smile, "Naw, I'm good."
Aramis was also too smart to fall for the lie, but he wasn't going to mention it to Porthos.
"He was last seen running away here." Aramis stood straight and unmoving at the end of the alley, "Where do the streets ahead lead to?"
"Just the busy street," Porthos looked ahead in the direction his brother was staring, "If he headed down there the chances that someone else saw em' are slim."
Aramis bit his lip in contemplation. He looked around them at the dumpsters that were laid by the brick walls. He observed the fire escape and how high up it went.
"Wonder if it's worth asking the neighbors?" He voiced his thoughts.
"Might be worth a shot," Porthos answered dryly looking around him with caution or curiosity. Aramis wasn't sure which.
Again he chose not to say anything. He had made that mistake once and learned that Porthos didn't take kindly to having to repeat himself.
But, what Porthos didn't know was that Aramis hated ignoring it. Hated knowing that his brother was uncomfortable and having to play ignorant. Having to ignore Porthos heavy breathing when the small spaces starting getting even smaller. Having to ignore the fact that Porthos hated these small spaces. Hated it because it gave him panic attacks and because it was the only thing that frightened Porthos enough to sometimes get in the way of work.
And Porthos being Porthos meant that no matter how bad things got, he would never admit to not being able to perform his duty. Because he saw it as weakness.
Aramis however, saw it as strength. Evidence that he was human and went through difficult times just like he and Athos did. Problem was, Porthos never saw it that way.
"I'm gonna call Athos to get some recruits in here and do a full search of the place. There just might be something laying around that could be useful to us." He kept his tone casual and even looked down to check his phone for the time.
"Why? We can search through here."
"The recruits need the practice," Aramis answered, "Those boys couldn't tell the difference a search warrant and full-out investigation."
"Aramis, we're wasting time," Porthos' tone was insistent, "Let's just go alright?"
Well, this wasn't working so Aramis just decided to give up and tell the truth.
"You're not comfortable being here, Porthos," He whispered, "I'm not going to make you go through this."
Porthos just stared at him for a moment, before turning his head to look back at the squad cars and officers keeping busy outside of the alley.
"I'm fine," His deep voice had that tinge of anger that Aramis hated, "We already discussed this."
"Yes, and so did Athos and me." Aramis shrugged.
Porthos frowned, "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah." He nodded.
Porthos nodded and slipped both hands into his sweater pockets and sniffed.
"What did you and Athis discuss?"
Aramis looked at his boots feeling a bit ashamed. He hadn't meant for it to sound like that.
"You uh...discussed whether or not I can do this? Hm?" He stared at Aramis with accusing eyes.
Aramis opened his mouth but Porthos spoke again before he could answer.
"You both think because I don"t like feeling crammed that I can't investigate this murder?"
Aramis raised his eyes to meet Porthos' gaze. That was not a sarcastic question. Aramis could hear the hurt coloring every word.
"Of course not, Porthos." He sighed, "You know that Athos and I have complete faith in you. You are the strongest member on this team..." He smirked, "And you're the best damn driver I've ever seen."
A small smile pulled at Porthos' lips, "Well, anybody would good compared to Athos."
Both men laughed lightly imagining Athos' comment to that.
But then Porthos' face grew serious.
"So why don't you want me working here?"
Aramis swallowed the lump his throat. The confusion and hurt were evident. Porthos was obviously very insecure about his fear and didn't want to be seen expressing it. Maybe it was because he always felt the need to be strong? Or was it some insecurity from growing up an orphan, forced to fend for one's self?
Aramis walked over and laid a hand on the tense shoulder and it relaxed at the warm contact.
"Listen to me," He spoke firm but gentle, "There is no one else I want as my partner working the streets with me, but you. No one else I'd rather have to watch my back but you and Athos. Don't you ever be ashamed of feeling scared, ok? Not when you tell what you tell me every day. How many times have I panicked on you, hm?"
Porthos sighed putting his head down. He seemed to be listening so Aramis continued.
"I know you can do this, Porthos. I just don't want you doing something like this to try and be strong. You are strong. Stronger than anyone I know. I'm your brother and it's my job to look after you too. That's why Athos and I have decided not to make you work in these spaces if you don't want to."
"I do want to," Porthos replied, "I just...can't explain it, Mis. It's...difficult to talk about."
Aramis gave him a warm smile, "Believe me if there's anybody who would be able to understand that it would be me."
"As long as you two understand and don't ask me to change," Porthos nodded, "I'll be ok."
Aramis looked at him right in the eye, as if deciding whether or not he was lying.
"Honest." He smiled laughing when Aramis simply rolled his eyes.
"And you call me reckless." He mumbled, "Come on, let's some lunch. I'm starving."
Porthos followed him out of the alley enjoying the casual arm that was slung over his shoulders.
"Oh, by the way, I'm telling Athos that you said his driving sucks." Porthos smiled.
Aramis gave a bright, full grin.
"I was merely making an observation, Porthos."
Porthos couldn't help but laugh. As long as he had someone who understood, then he had everything.