Chapter 1: I never thought of this as funny

I never thought of this as funny
It speaks another world to me
I want to be your Easter bunny
I want to be your Christmas tree

Her back slammed against the door of the stall as it crashed shut behind her, she heard the lock slide closed and threw her head back, banging it hard on the wooden door as the other woman's lips found her neck, kissing and nipping at her skin as her hands roughly squeezed her breasts through the fabric of her little black dress.

She let out a quiet gasp and tried to speak, but was immediately silenced by a rough, urgent, open-mouthed kiss. She could barely move, pushed up against the stall door and pinned there by the woman in front of her, their bodies flush against one another, their lips clashing, hands clutching and grasping and pulling at fabric and flesh.

She slid her hands into the taller woman's hair, closing her fingers and trying to pull her even closer, moaning into the kiss as the hand on her breast squeezed just a little too hard, if such a thing were even possible. She couldn't remember a time when she felt a need like this, when she'd felt so overwhelmed by another person, when she'd felt so desperate and consumed by want like this. She wanted this. She wanted more than this. She couldn't get enough.

She was dimly aware of the background volume increasing briefly then fading as the bathroom door opened allowing the music from the club to rush in before receding to a dull thud once more with the closing of the door, but was more concerned with the hand currently dragging her dress up her thigh and the fingers dipping inside her lace underwear to spare it any thought.

Until, "Piiiiiiiiiiiper! Piperrrrrrr are you in here?"

Both women froze in position as the unmistakeable shrill voice of Piper's best friend filled the bathroom.

"Piiiiiiiiiiperrrrrrrrrr?"

Piper looked up at the other woman, holding her breath, her eyes wide and as she slowly removed a hand from her companion's long dark hair and placed one finger against her own lips in a silent plea for her to remain quiet.

"Piper? Pipe?"

They listened, unmoving, as they heard Polly call Piper's name again. Their faces were so close that Piper could feel the warm breath of her partner against her cheek as she stood perfectly still, one hand still in place on Piper's left breast, the other paused at the edge of her panties, fingertips having just made it inside the lacy edge.

When Polly began making her way through the bathroom, banging on doors whilst still calling Piper's name, Alex looked at Piper and nodded once — short and fast — at the stall door, issuing the unspoken instruction to respond. Piper's eyes widened and she shook her head quickly, mouthing the word 'no' silently.

Alex looked at Piper, then the door and nodded her head towards it again, more pronounced this time, pointedly directing the shorter woman to respond, her eyes fixed on Piper's. Piper again shook her head quickly, her facial expression changing to clearly convey a plea as she again mouthed "No," but following it this time with an additional silent "Please."

Polly was moving ever closer, banging on doors and pausing to peer underneath some of them as she searched for her friend, calling her name and dragging out the first syllable in the way she always did when she had too much alcohol in her bloodstream. Piper was steadfastly remaining silent, standing stock-still, backed up against the stall door and clearly had no intention of revealing herself. Alex watched her for another moment, then moved away very slightly so she could clearly see Piper's face, then she tilted her head to the side very slightly, pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, raised one eyebrow and almost - almost - smiled as she slowly moved her left hand, sliding her fingers lower inside Piper's underwear and over the narrow line of trimmed pubic hair that led to… "No!"

Piper grabbed Alex's wrist to stop her, blurting the word out loudly before she could even think about it.

Alex stepped back and grinned smugly, withdrawing her hand and moving back towards the toilet as she heard Polly stop a door away and say Piper's name again, a little quieter now, a little more certain.

Piper scowled, then banged her head back against the door, looking up at the ceiling in frustration.

"Piper? Piper is that you? Are you okay or are you dead in there?"

Alex smiled, still watching Piper as she climbed up onto the toilet, placing her feet on the seat and perching herself on the porcelain cistern behind her. She placed her elbows on her knees, laced her fingers and rested her chin on them as she continued to watch Piper's discomfort and frustration unfold in front of her.

Piper threw her hands out, gesturing towards Alex then shrugging, silently asking her what the fuck she was doing climbing all over the toilet, as Polly waited less-than-patiently one door away.

"Piper? Seriously girl, if you're dead in there I'll… Piper! Piper, I can see your damn shoes. I know it's you, they're my shoes. What are you doing?"

Piper looked down past the shoes she'd borrowed from her friend for the evening and could just make out one hand and a tumble of hair as Polly crouched on hands and knees to peer under the stall door. She looked over at Alex who sat up straight and moved her hands in a sweeping gesture towards her own feet, drawing her attention to the fact that they were up on the seat and safely out of view of Piper's insistent and persistent friend.

Piper's expression softened and she moved her open hand from her chin outwards towards Alex, signing the words 'thank you' as well as mouthing them.

"I'm here, Pol." Piper eventually said, quietly. "In here. Not dead. Just here."

"What're you doing? Open the door!"

"I'm okay. Just give me a minute."

"You've been missing for twenty, Piper. The guys were worried about you. Come on out here."

Alex sat back on the cistern and placed her clasped hands over her heart. "Awwww! The guys!" she silently mouthed, good-naturedly mocking Piper and her friends.

"I haven't been gone for twenty. I've been gone for ten, tops. If I'd been gone for twenty I'd be in a much, much better state than I am now. Believe me."

Alex smirked at this and wet her lips with her tongue. "Hell yeah you would," she breathed.

They both heard the hesitation in Polly's response before she replied, her voice a little softer "Are you sick? Do you need anything?"

"I'm okay," Piper responded. "I wasn't feeling great, I just needed…"

"Did you vomit?" Polly interrupted. "Did you, Piper? Because I swear, if you got any on my shoes that'll sorely test this friendship. They're genuine nappa leather. Italian! Please tell me you didn't get any on my shoes."

Piper looked at Alex, an expression of disbelief on her face as she gestured through the door towards Polly in a can-you-actually-believe-this-shit kinda way. Alex grinned, then nodded quickly, both eyebrows raised, eyes open wide as she tried to convey that Piper should play along and say the shoes had taken a hit.

Piper smiled, then forced a solemn tone as she quietly replied "Your shoes are okay, babe."

Alex screwed her face up. "Babe?" she mouthed.

Piper ignored her, continuing "I made it just in time. I promise you your shoes are safe. I'm just cleaning myself up, I'll be out in a couple of minutes."

"Are you sure? Do you need a hand?"

Alex smirked at this, then drew the index and middle fingers of her left hand slowly above her upper lip, inhaling deeply as she did so.

Piper paused before replying, her breath catching in her throat as she watched Alex closely. "No no, it's okay. I have everything I need right here. Thanks though."

"Okay, I'll go tell the guys you're on your way. Larry'll be relieved, he was really concerned about you. I told you he was a good guy, Piper. You should give him a chance."

"Not now, Pol. Please. I can't do this right now."

"I really don't know what your problem is with him, you know. He's a great guy and he is so into you…"

"Polly." Piper's voice had a sharp edge to it now and her friend didn't miss it.

"Okay, okay," she sighed. "Clean yourself up. I'll go make your excuses and I'll see you in five."

Piper didn't reply, she just leaned back against the cool wood of the door and let her eyes close for a moment as she breathed a sigh of relief, listening as the music from the club burst through the outer door again, then quieted as it closed behind her friend.

"So what is it?" Alex murmured, having moved up close to Piper again. She gently stroked two fingers along the blonde's jaw as she expanded on her question, teasing. "Larry's such a great guy and he's so into you, what's your problem with him?"

Piper leaned into Alex's touch a little, then turned her face toward her.

"He isn't you."