Title: Drama Queen
Rating: PG
Genre: General
Summary: "And this is how it ends. The last Uchiha faces death with certain assurance--alone--the way his quest began." Sakura was happy that Sasuke was back in Konoha, really she was. But sometimes he could be SUCH a drama queen. Team 7, Genfic.

When Sasuke returned to Konoha, he returned a different man. Sakura chalked up his new quirks and oddities to spending so much time around Orochimaru and his cronies. He had a new tendency to sleep with his eyes open, which continually freaked out Naruto. He now often hissed when annoyed, and whenever he felt threatened, which was most of the time, he called out one of his snake summons. So when an Academy student accidentally bumped into him and he summoned one of Manda-sama's lesser but no less frightening underlings, he had been brought up in front of an ANBU tribunal for abusing his power. But those were all things they could bear. Compared to other less stable shinobi (see Mitarashi Anko or Morino Ibiki), Sasuke's new habits weren't all that crazy. He had one habit, though, that got on everyone's nerves.

The various members of Team 7 first noticed Sasuke's odd predilection of narrating his own life a few weeks after he returned to Konoha. Naruto first noticed during a debriefing when he heard Sasuke mutter to himself that he didn't know how Tsunade fought with such large bosoms. Sai first noticed when he heard Sasuke whispering to himself about the similarities between the two and how he thought Sai was merely a replacement. Kakashi first noticed when he heard Sasuke muttering about how Kakashi walked like a slouch and that it couldn't be good for his back. And Sakura first noticed when Sasuke compared her to the Incredible Hulk when he first saw her new skills during a training exercise.

Naruto encouraged it. Sai was amused and slightly confused. Kakashi was worried. But Sakura was just annoyed.

Mostly because Sasuke could make even the smallest inconveniences sound monumental. Perhaps making one's life sound dramatic was one of those things that came with being the last of something. Or perhaps it was his way of coping with the loss he had endured in his lifetime. Either way, she was sick of it. Especially now.

Team 7 was in dire straits and the last thing she needed was for Sasuke to interrupt her concentration with his incessant narrating. As she pumped green chakra into a gaping hole in Kakashi's side she thought back to how they had gone so astray.

The mission was supposed to be a simple reconnaissance mission into the enemy Lightning Country. Naruto and Sai had gotten into another loud, yet pointless argument about their respective penis sizes and ended up attracting lots (and lots) of unwanted attention. Normally, Sakura thought, that wouldn't be a problem for Team 7 but one hundred shinobi against four did leave them a bit outnumbered.

Not that Team 7 cared; they weren't the best team in Konoha for nothing. Once Naruto noticed the odds, he declared the fight a contest. "Okay the person with the most knockouts gets to choose where we eat when we get back to Konoha."

Considering that Naruto strong armed them into going to Ichiraku after every mission, everyone was anxious to be the one who got to choose the new restaurant. Even Kakashi had a glint in his eye. You could only eat so much ramen anyways.

"For once the idiot comes up with a proposition that I can accept honorably," Sasuke muttered to himself.

Naruto looked at him sparingly, "What was that Sasuke?"

"Hmm?" Sasuke asked confusedly.

"Never mind."

And so they fought. Sakura soon realized that a contest probably wasn't the smartest thing for Naruto to suggest. All four of them were highly competitive when they needed to be. That only led to them over exerting themselves and being slightly more reckless than usual.

In their haste to dispatch as many enemies as quickly as possible and before their other teammates did, they all ended up sustaining multiple injuries. Sakura guessed they were all just that sick of ramen. So when it came down to the last few enemy shinobi, Sai who had taken a number of blows to the head and was looking slightly dazed, decided the contest wasn't worth it and sat down next to a tree. Sasuke had a gaping hole in his side from when he hesitated to take down a particularly vicious, but admittedly pretty, kunoichi. Naruto seeing the injuries inflicted on his teammates felt slightly bad about suggesting the whole thing and was trying to convince Sasuke that ramen wasn't so bad to eat after all. Kakashi was rubbing at his sharingan after its continual overuse.

So when there were only two shinobi left, he glanced at Sakura and said,

"You can take these guys, right? I think there's something in my eye," And with that he walked off presumably towards a river.

Sakura sighed, "Yeah right," the man hated to show any weakness.

She used a quick genjutsu on the remaining enemy shinobi that forced them to think that they were enemies. They focused their energy on each other and charged until one of them, the smarter one she assumed, had the good sense to dispel the genjutsu. Unfortunately for him a second after that Sakura punched a hole through his chest.

She then threw a kunai between the last shinobi's eyes.

She loosened her shoulders and rolled them a few times before taking off her bloodied gloves. It'd been a rough day. She looked around the field and quickly spotted her teammates. Sai was leaning against a tree with his eyes closed, catching his breath. Naruto was leaning over Sasuke

Walking over she asked, "How's everyone doing?"

"Eh, not too bad. Sasuke needs some help though. He got hit by a pretty girl."

"I didn't let her hit me because she was pretty," Sasuke said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, so you did think she was pretty?? And here I thought you were asexual!" Naruto proclaimed.

Sasuke glared at him.

Sakura smirked and leaned down next to him to inspect the open wound. It wouldn't be a particularly hard wound to heal but it seemed he had lost a significant amount of blood. Sakura was surprised he was still conscious.

"I let her hit me cause she was gorgeous," Sasuke said in the voice he reserved for his side comments he didn't think anyone heard.

Naruto's grin widened.

Sakura pushed chakra into the wound forcing his skin to regrow and knitted cells together.

Sasuke gritted in pain,

"The pain I should have learned to deal with by now. But it still hurts. At least it's a familiar hurt, the type that lets me know I'm still alive, but perhaps not for long" Sakura's smirk faltered realizing that angsty!Sasuke was about to take over. Angsty!Sasuke was never any fun.

Naruto rolled his eyes and got up to check on Sai who was snoring, apparently exhausted from the day's activities.

Sakura continued to work on Sasuke's side. His blood loss was beginning to make him delirious. That combined with the pain of the healing made for a pessimistic Uchiha.

"And this is how it ends. The last Uchiha faces death with certain assurance," Sasuke spoke with his eyes open, his fading sharingan staring into the above trees.

"With a clear beautiful sky, the last Uchiha stared into the future that did not belong to him," Sakura sighed.

She took out a pill that would help restore his energy and serve as a mini transfusion until she could get him to a proper hospital.

"Open up Sasuke,"

"He faces death alone, the way his quest began," Sasuke continued.

"Just swallow this pill and you'll feel loads better."

"He supposes it could be worse. He could be ---mmprgh!" Sakura had shoved the pill in his mouth mid sentence and held down his nose forcing him to swallow.

Sasuke glared at Sasuke.

"The last Uchiha stared at the pink haired monster who was supposed to be his teammate."

Unamused, Sakura stood up and brushed off her skirt, "Honestly Sasuke, I'm right here."

The pill began to work almost immediately and Sasuke sat up, slowly picking himself up from the ground.

She heard a rustling in the trees to see Kakashi reenter still rubbing at his Sharingan.

"All better, sensei?"

"Yeah, I think I got it out."

"Good."

"Now I sent Pakkun to the Hokage to let her know the situation. It'll be too dangerous to continue without backup so we'll head back to Konoha to regroup. We just need to think of a way to get past their triggers. They'll be on high alert now that they know we're here."

"Although he narrowly cheated death due to the rough ministrations of an adequate teammate," Sasuke continued his monologue, ignoring his teammates.

"When he thought of all he accomplished in his short life he realized he still failed to rebuild his clan—"

"No offense Sasuke, but would you shut up I'm trying to think," Kakashi said mildly as he looked off thoughtfully.

Sasuke ignored Kakashi and continued in what he obviously thought was a tone only he could hear, "He wondered if he would ever have the chance to achieve that goal. Building a clan seemed to be something little ninja did. Just look at his elderly sensei—"

"I'm not elderly Sasuke," Kakashi began to frown.

"--who had little to no chance with the female shinobi he fought with side by side. The x-rated books he reads pervert their view of him in a way—"

"Seriously Sasuke, I'm right here," Kakashi mumbled and ran a hand through his hair.

Sasuke continued oblivious to the protests around him,

"The last Uchiha wondered who, if anybody, had Kakashi had relations with. He supposed he had to have at least spent a night with somebody at his age."

"God, Sasuke. It's like you've never heard of tact," Naruto stated in an ironic turn.

"He wondered if Kakashi had ever made overtures towards their pink haired teammate. They were oddly compat—"

Sakura, finally fed up with Sasuke's nonstop narrating stepped behind him and pinched one of his pressure points, causing him to collapse in a heap at her feet.

"That's better." She stated.

Kakashi merely sighed.