Just a silly little something I thought of when I couldn't sleep. Hopefully it's as funny as I hope it is.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Tite Kubo does.
That Cursed Crimson Liquid
Grimmjow screamed, his anger echoing through all of the halls of Los Noches. He looked down at the crimson liquid soaking through his white uniform, leaving a cool feeling against his chest. The six espada threw the culprit across the room, causing more of that foul liquid to come out and form a pool of red on the sterile white concrete of the floor.
Grimmjow had to do something quick! If Aizen discovered that he had been defeated by such a simple and trivial opponent he would surely be punished.
"Damn it… damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!!" he cursed. Grimmjow quickly fled the scene, heading to the bathroom to try and get as much of the dark stain out as he could. It's not that he was in pain; it was the fact that he was so humiliated! How could he have been defeated so easily? He couldn't put his finger on it.
He reached the men's bathroom, and shoved the swinging door open. Grimmjow went over to the sink and turned the knob, hoping that the water would come out and save the day, as well as his uniform. Grimmjow sighed as nothing came out of the faucet, leaving the sink dry.
"Stupid thing must be broken. Damn cheap-ass budget." Now, Grimmjow tried to be patient with the water, but being the "do now, think later" person he was, he lost his patience, and instead of going to another sink, he punched the faucet, causing the hunk of metal to go flying. Where the faucet once was, was now a fountain of water, spewing out in all directions. Jaggerjaques was now getting blasted in the face with water, the clear liquid running down his face, and all over his uniform, leaving him completely soaked. Panicking, Grimmjow placed his hands over the source of his problem- This however, was in vain, as the water continued to smack him in the face. Growling, he turned his head away, allowing his ear to be the victim of the torture instead of his "perfect visage" as he liked to call it.
Just when the sixth espada thought things couldn't get any worse, Stark walked into the bathroom, his eyes half-lidded due to the fact that he had just woken up. Stark's eyes widened, however, upon witnessing the disaster that he had just waked in on. Grimmjow noticed him instantly, glaring at him. He wasn't in the mood to deal with the annoying primera, who was now laughing hysterically.
"SHUT UP, DUMBASS! EITHER HELP ME OR GET THE HELL OUT!!" he barked, his patience totally absent. Stark, still laughing, nodded, and left.
"Hey, what the hell!?" Grimmjow yelled after him. After a few moments, the infuriating endless amount of water was put to a halt, seeming to suddenly run out. Stark entered the room once again.
"What the hell did you do?" Jaggerjaques asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"What do you think I did? I shut off the water line." Stark replied, Grimmjow nodding his thanks. Stark then turned away and proceeded to the door. Jaggerjaques was about to follow him, before a thought came to mind.
"Hey, wait a second. I thought we didn't have water in Hueco Mundo!"
Upon hearing this, Stark paused in his tracks. Not looking back at the blue-haired man, he replied.
"We don't." he stated, leaving the bathroom. Grimmjow was left flabbergasted and disgusted.
"… I don't want to know." He spoke to himself, before trying to leave the bathroom himself. Unfortunately for him, there was now plenty of "water" on the floor, and the slippery wet liquid caused him to lose his footing, and fall backwards on to floor.
Groaning, Grimmjow sat up and rubbed the back of his head.
"I'm suing." He decided. He got up and left the bathroom. Deciding he now needed to change, he sighed as the back of his mind told him Ulquiorra would find out about this and report to Aizen, making him pay for the damage he had done to the men's bathroom.
"There goes my paycheck…" Grimmjow thought, mourning over his loss of money.
Ulquiorra wandered down the hall, heading to the kitchen to make himself lunch. He hadn't eaten all day, and was really in the mood for a sandwich. He entered the starch white kitchen, and headed for the fridge. In one of his final steps to his destination, Ulquiorra heard a splashing sound underneath his feet. He looked down to realize that he had stepped in a strange red liquid. He scanned the area underneath his feet, and when his eyes laid upon the source of the spill, he sighed, knowing exactly what had happened. He left to find Aizen, knowing just what to report to him:
Grimmjow had spilt his juice box again.