I started writing this story a long, long time ago. I lost all of my account information, so I haven't been able to update any chapters. I'm going to rewrite it on this account, and hopefully not forget my account information! Please read and review, let me know what you think, or if I can do any better! I'll be writing most of this story on an iPhone, so please excuse any grammar errors, or misspelling. Thank you and I hope you enjoy!

What have I done?..

I sat at the table set for two and waited. What a beautiful place, I thought. The lights were dim, there were fresh flowers and candles on every table. The music was slow, and romantic. Perfect. I've dated a few men in my life, but not one of them made me feel as special as Rick has. He always made me feel like a brick of gold.

I looked at my watch, 6:05. I shook my head. He's late, I thought. Five minutes isn't late enough to get me angry, but Rick's usually never late. I bit my lip, and pulled out my phone. Everything okay? I texted. Before I could set my phone on the table it vibrated. Pulling in now, sry.

I looked out the window and watched as he got out of his car. I let out a sigh. Rick and I have been saying for a little more than eight months, but I still got butterflies in my stomach that, honestly, made me feel half sick, before we spent time together.

I gave him a slight wave as he walked to the table, he returned me with a half smile. Something wasn't right. I could tell something was off with him. He looks shaken, and frustrated. "Sorry I'm late," he said, sitting at the table and looking at the menu. No kiss? Nothing? I thought. "Can I get you something to drink, sir?" The waitress asked. "Just water," he replied, not looking up from the menu.

I cleared my throat, "something the matter?" I asked. He slapped the menu on the table, and rubbed his eyebrows with his thumb and pointer finger, still not looking at me. "Rick?" I pulled his arm from his face. "What's wrong with you?" He let out a loud sigh, "Lori," he muttered.

Lori? I was confused. I knew Lori had given him problems before, but never to the point where he would act like this. "What about her?" I asked, taking a sip of wine. He shook his head, "she looked through my phone," he said. "Found all the texts, the pictures, voicemails." His voice was trailing off, he pulled his chair into the table. "She screamed at me. Asked how I could do this to her- told me I didn't care about ER or our son." I looked at him confused. "Why would she say all those things?"

Rick and I met two years ago when I got a job as a dispatcher at the police station he worked at. We were friendly, but never got into anything serious until our company's Christmas party. He'd told me that he and Lori decided to end their marriage, and that the only reason they had stayed together as long as they did, was for their son, but neither of them could handle the pressure and stress that they put on each other, and that they both made a mutual decision to file for divorce.

He didn't say anything, he just looked at me. I could feel anxiety building in my heart. "Rick?" I whispered, grabbing his hand, forcing him to look at me. "Why would she say all those things?" Again, he said nothing. I could tell by the look in his eyes that whatever he wasn't telling me was bad. "Can you just fucking say anything?" I begged.

Nothing.

I bit my lip. "Is she saying all of these things because you're not separate?" He looked at me with sorrow in his eyes, and at that moment he didn't have to say anything- I already knew.

The reason his wife was so upset when she saw my pictures, my texts on his phone is because they weren't separated. How could I be so stupid? I never questioned Rick honesty. From day one, I always looked at him as an honest, outstanding man.

I squeezed his hand, and pushed it away. "Say it," I said. "Tell me the truth. Tell me why she's pissed off at you." He sighed, and I could feel my stomach knotting. "We're not separated," he blurted. I could feel my hands start to shake, I looked down at my lap, trying to hold back my tears. "I'm- going to leave," I managed. "Em, please wait," he grabbed my arm, and I quickly pulled it from him, grabbing my purse. "Have a good night."

I slung my purse over my shoulder and walked away. My mind was racing, I felt like I was walking on air. Why is this happening? God damn it Emily. How could you be so fucking stupid. He used you. For what? Why?

I stopped walking. My mouth went dry, my mind went blank. Without thinking I paced back to the table. "You know something?" I shouted, causing everyone to look at me. "You're a piece of shit." Rick looked around the room, all eyes were on us. I didn't care. "Please, Emily, calm down," he pleaded, standing to me, gesturing me to be quiet. "Get your fucking hand out of my face," I snarled, swatting his hand away. "Do you even fathom what you've done? How much of my time I've wasted on you?"

"Emily, please. Let's go talk outside."

"What is there to talk about?" My voice was getting louder. "What? How you took advantage of me? How you lied?"

"Miss, we're going to need for you to keep it down or leave, please," the hostess said, tapping my shoulder.

"I- I hate you," I growled. "You're a selfish, no good scumbag." I picked up my glass of wine and took a sip before splashing the rest in Rick's face. "Explain that one to your wife," I spat, giving him one last look of sheer pain before walking away.

The restaurant was completely silent as I walked to the door. I didn't care about causing a scene, I didn't care about anything.

I slammed my car door, and say there for a moment before breaking down. I pulled my visor, looking at myself in the mirror. I felt numb- I was heartbroken. I watched as Rick walked out of the restaurant, toward my car.

I quickly through it in reverse, nearly hitting him and pulled out of the parking lot. "God damn it," I cried to myself. "What have I done?"