This is my first foray into the Scorpion fanfiction, but I totally love the show! This came to mind last night while watching the new episode, because I was a little disappointed at how the connection between Walter and Collins played out. In my head, I was thinking of something a little more dramatic. So, here we are!
I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Scorpion in any way
The problem with geniuses was that showing emotion was incredibly difficult. Walter knew that better than anyone.
When those containment doors closed, with Cabe on the other side, Walter really had no idea what he was feeling. It was almost like he wished he had been behind Cabe, so that the agent would have made it out. But if that had happened, he would be stuck inside, facing the very real possibility of dying from radiation poisoning.
Did that mean that he would be willing to be hurt in Cabe's place? What did that mean for their relationship? Did they have any sort of relationship? Beyond the obvious co-worker link, obviously.
Sure, he respected the older man, even if he had gone so long hating the agent for what had happened when he was sixteen. But beyond that?
Cabe looked out for him. Ever since he had hacked NASA when he was eleven, Cabe had always been there. Sending him computers and codes, making sure he had something in his life to challenge him.
Paige might say that he cared about Cabe, and he was scared because the man was in danger. Walter would just laugh and remind her of his low EQ.
But maybe he'd trot out that line because he didn't want to deal with the truth in her words.
He was Walter O'Brian, and he didn't do emotion.
Why was that so hard to remember when he was looking at Cabe's face through the thick glass window of that containment door?
Knowing that he didn't have time to think about these strange feelings, he promised Cabe he would get him out, and then ran as quickly as he could back to the others.
The next few minutes passed in a haze, as he told Collins, Happy, and Paige to go back to Collins' house to find which pipe would get Cabe out safely.
It was only when Cabe's distressed voice spoke up that he really started to pay attention again.
"Walter, if my life is in the hands of this Collins guy, I need to know if you're hiding something."
Walter gripped the table tightly, his eyes slipping shut as the memories washed over him.
A ten day bender, barely remembering to use the bathroom, let alone eat, drink, and sleep.
An argument.
The police.
"Walter?"
Walter snapped his eyes open at the hesitant query from Sylvester.
He swallowed harshly and forced himself to reply. "Three years ago, I had him arrested."
Behind him, he felt rather than saw the shocked silence from Toby and Sylvester.
Cabe's expression was momentarily stunned, before he forced himself to hide his reaction – far too late, of course, Walter had already seen it. "Fantastic," he muttered.
Walter immediately turned away and got to work. The important thing right now was to get Cabe out. Later, he could come up with some excuse not to tell everyone what had really happened when Mark had disappeared.
He quickly snapped orders at Toby and Sylvester, which the two geniuses followed immediately, not wanting to poke the hornet's nest just yet. They would question him later.
So the team did what they did best: they solved problems. They got Cabe out, and Walter deliberately didn't acknowledge the twisting sense of relief that coursed through him when the truck radioed back that they had picked Cabe up on a beach a few miles away.
And he definitely did not recognize the sweeping sensation of happiness when Cabe walked back into the room, wearing a borrowed military uniform.
"Someone tell me where we are," he ordered brusquely.
Since time was of the essence, Walter complied; they were resolving the issue. Everything was going according to plan, and unfortunately, that meant that Walter did not have an immediate task to carry out. While they waited for the upgrade to complete, there was nothing for him to do. And that was the worst possible thing, because it allowed his mind freedom to wander.
To think about the past.
Cabe was at his side before he even realized it. "You all right?"
The agent really did not want to be feeling worry for the younger man. He told himself he was just assuring that Walter could complete the task at hand. Still, when Walter didn't reply immediately, still staring absentmindedly at the stretch of wall in front of him, he had to acknowledge at least a little of his concern. "Walter?"
As if slapped, Walter immediately stiffened and looked at Cabe. "Hmm?"
Cabe frowned. "Are you all right?"
Walter immediately put on an attempted smile. "Fine," he replied.
Cabe didn't buy it. "Bullshit."
Walter raised an eyebrow. Cabe definitely had a few rough edges, but he had never actually heard the man swear before.
Cabe glared. "Tell me what happened between you and Collins. Why did you have him arrested?"
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sylvester and Toby turn towards them, curiosity evident on their faces. He sighed and shrugged. "We had an argument. Things happened."
He tried to leave it at that, but Cabe grabbed his arm as he made to turn around. "What happened." Though it was phrased like a question, it clearly wasn't.
Walter took a deep breath and turned his tortured gaze towards the federal agent. "He tried to kill me."
With that, he yanked his arm away and moved over to the computer, to check the progress.
Cabe blinked, stunned. With everything he had been imagining, that situation hadn't even made the list of possibilities.
Toby and Sylvester shared a look, wondering if they should try and comfort their friend. Clearly, this job had been weighing more on him than they had thought. He had seemed so all right with letting Mark back into their lives; they had honestly just thought that Mark had bailed on the team. They hadn't realized just how bad things had gotten.
Seeing the way Walter was focusing on the mission, they decided to hold off on the inquisition until after they had saved a million people.
So that's what they did.
Through finding out that the whole thing had been orchestrated by Collins, going to his house to use his antenna to complete the hidden third step, watching him tease Walter with all those numbers and dates.
Toby wasn't quite as circumspect in hiding how much pleasure he took from watching Cabe shoot Collins. His only disappointment stemmed from the fact that Cabe hadn't been aiming a little higher.
Finally, finally, it was over.
Toby watched Walter nearly wilt in relief, covering his face with his hand in an attempt to not show them how exhausting this whole thing had been for him.
And after hearing what he had earlier, Toby could understand why he had been hiding all his anxiety.
Though he definitely worried about how Walter was taking all of this, Toby forced himself not to psychoanalyze his friend right now. That could wait. First, there was an asshole who needed to be arrested. Again, apparently.
He watched with a sick satisfaction as the army guys carted Collins away, likely to a hospital, and Toby hoped that they would forgo the pain meds while they took care of that leg wound.
Paige observed Walter carefully, inwardly amazed at how he could feel so much emotion and not even realize it. She glanced at Toby and Sylvester, and realized that something had happened at the nuclear plant, while she, Happy, and Collins had been gone. She wondered what it was, but based on the concerned expressions they were shooting at their leader when they thought he wasn't looking, she would place a high probability that whatever it was, was about Walter.
She wanted to talk to him, but before she could even attempt to pull him aside, Walter was asking Cabe for a ride home – since he and the federal agent had arrived together, Walter had no ride of his own.
Cabe looked like he wanted to protest, but after seeing the expression on Walter's face, knew that if he didn't give the kid a ride, he would just walk home. So he sighed and nodded his agreement, leading the younger man towards the gate.
The rest of the team watched their leader go, all with varying degrees of confusion or concern.
When they heard the rev of an engine, and a few seconds later, the sound of tires against gravel, they knew that they were alone.
Happy turned to Toby, her expression intense, filled with bewilderment and alarm. "What the hell happened?"
Toby swallowed harshly, and shared a look with Sylvester.
The math prodigy winced. "Cabe asked about what happened with Mark."
Happy frowned, remembering those days when Mark and Walter would get caught up in their own world, and go down the rabbit hole, as they called it. That term was something Walter still used from time to time, and she wondered if he even remembered coming up with that term, how it had been Mark's idea in the first place. Given the expression he wore whenever he used it, she thought he might.
Paige looked between the two men. "You said that he just disappeared one day."
Toby shrugged. "As far as we knew, he did."
Sylvester made a face. "Walter said that he had Mark arrested."
Happy blinked. Once. Twice. After several moments of silence, she forced herself to take a deep shuddering breath. She had known that things had been deteriorating towards the end, but she hadn't thought things had gotten that bad.
Sylvester nodded knowingly. "Yeah. Cabe asked why, and Walter said that he tried to kill him!"
Paige gasped, one hand flying to her mouth in distress. "What?"
Happy furrowed her brow, thinking about those last few weeks, trying to place this new information with what she had observed back then. She remembered right after Mark had disappeared, when Walter had seemed upset, but just a little bit relieved.
They had all been relieved, truthfully. So she hadn't really thought about it too much. But Walter had seemed more distressed than the rest of them, and he had refused to answer their questions about what had happened.
Not wanting to lose him, they hadn't pressed the issue too much – or rather, too much for them. Still, Walter had never given any indication that anything like this had transpired. Happy thought that she may have noticed it a little more than the others, though. Sylvester wasn't the best at recognizing other people's problems, preferring the company of numbers and equations, rather than people. And when all this had gone down, Toby had been dealing with the deterioration of his relationship with his fiancée. So Happy thought she might know a little more than the rest, though clearly not as much as she had thought.
Paige bit her lip. "Maybe we should go make sure he's all right. This has to have been hard on him."
Toby snorted. "How would we know? It's not like Walter ever shares how he feels."
Sylvester made a distressed sound. "You know how he goes on about IQ versus EQ. And he's right, Toby. We don't process emotion like normal people."
Toby rolled his eyes. "Doesn't mean we don't feel it. Come on Sylvester, even you had to see how much this is affecting him. Why the hell didn't he tell us?"
"Because he didn't want to make an issue out of it," Happy growled, glaring at the behaviorist.
Paige artfully stepped between the two, diffusing the tense situation. "Let's just get back to the garage."
Happy nodded abruptly and spun on her heel, walking quickly to the car. The rest shared a last glance, before they followed.
XXX
When they arrived back at the garage, the only person visible was Cabe. He was sitting at the table scrolling through something on his phone, but he looked up quickly when the team entered. His expression showed relief. "He's upstairs," he informed them.
Paige frowned. "Did he say anything?"
Cabe shook his head. "Not a word since we left Collins' house." He was clearly distressed by that fact. "I heard a few crashes, but nothing else."
Paige's gaze was drawn to the second floor, where she knew Walter was likely brooding.
As if sensing her thoughts, Cabe shook his head. "I'm not sure that's the best idea," he warned.
Paige considered the wisdom of his words, but Toby pushed forward before she could say anything. "We're friends and we look after each other."
Without saying anymore, he bounded up the stairs. Following his lead, Happy and Sylvester were right behind him. Paige and Cabe shared another look, before they followed the geniuses. Neither one thought this confrontation would go well, and maybe if they were there, they could diffuse the situation before it erupted.
XXX
As soon as Cabe pulled up to the garage, Walter was out of the car and heading up to the loft. Behind him, he heard Cabe enter as well, though thankfully the older man didn't try to follow him.
Upstairs, Walter looked around the dirty kitchen, reminding himself for the fourth time that week to clean up. That was the problem with being a genius: when you got going on a project, you forgot about everything else, from the mundane tasks like cleaning, to the necessities like eating, drinking, and sleeping.
He sighed and dropped into a chair, burying his head in his hands for a minute. Relentlessly, he scrubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the threat of tears. He was over it. Why was it affecting him now?
Walter gave one last furious swipe at his eyes, before he stood up angrily and started picking up a few items. Dirty dishes went into the sink, and he piled papers onto the table. When he stooped over to right a chair that had fallen over three days ago, he felt a stab of pain along his right side, and inhaled sharply.
He straightened up, one hand fingering his side, and the wound hidden beneath his shirt, the one that hadn't hurt him in nearly three years. His jaw clenched, and he angrily kicked at the fallen chair. It flew across the room, to break into several pieces against the wall.
There was a mug sitting on the counter. It soon met the same fate as the chair.
Walter took a deep breath to steady himself, before he continued destroying his home. He hoped that Cabe had left already. He didn't want to talk about it, and he figured if the agent was still here, he would probably be drawn to the upstairs by the loud noises.
But no one came up those stairs, so he guessed that he was alone.
Walter wandered over to the door leading to the bathroom, where the full sized mirror hung. Stepping up to it, he studied his lanky frame. There were clearly defined bags around his eyes, and he remembered that he hadn't gotten more than a couple hours of sleep in the last four days. It hadn't really been on purpose, but he had been studying a new theory, and like always, the less important things had fallen by the wayside.
Slowly, Walter reached up and unbuttoned his shirt. He slipped it off, and then pulled his undershirt over his head. Half naked, he took another moment to study himself in the mirror. While he wasn't exactly buff, he did have some nicely defined muscles, and a subtle six-pack. But what he was interested in wasn't quite as vain as admiring his figure.
Almost against his will, his eyes were drawn to the stark white scar that stood out against his darker skin. It stretched several inches across his side, just above his hip, right at his waist.
His hands were drawn to it once more, and he remembered the white-hot feeling of his skin being sliced open.
He remembered the desperate struggle for the weapon, cold cocking the man he had thought of as a friend, calling the police.
The hospital. Doctors telling him how lucky he had been; just an inch or two over, and the bullet could have done some serious damage. Instead, he had escaped with just a graze and a few memories that would haunt him for years.
A sound from downstairs distracted him, and he turned around, just in time to see the team enter the loft.
He attempted a smile, even as his fingers shook in his efforts to get his t-shirt back on.
The others wondered what he was doing, but quickly their attention was drawn to the thick white scar at his waist. How had they never noticed that before?
The simple answer was that Walter never went without a shirt in the presence of others. They realized only now that there was a reason for that.
Finally, Walter got the shirt on. As he pulled it over his head, he tried to think of something to say.
Unfortunately, nothing came to mind, and when the team was in view once more, he really had no idea how to handle this situation.
There was an awkward silence for several moment, before Happy took a deep breath. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Toby and Sylvester looked at the mechanic, confused. "Don't you mean us?" Toby asked, insulted. "We're all a part of this team, aren't we?"
Happy glanced at him. "When all this happened, you were too busy trying to save your relationship. And Sylvester's almost as bad at emotion as Walter." She looked at their leader. "Who was it who dragged you back from that ten day bender, Walter? Who was it who practically had to force-feed you, because you hadn't eaten in nearly two weeks?"
The others winced at the image; sure, they knew that Mark and Walter had had moments like that, days like that, where they had gone down the rabbit hole together, but they had never heard about it from Happy's point of view. And she was right. Neither one had really paid close attention the way she had.
Walter grimaced, remembering the chewing out she had given him earlier that day. He probably owed her an explanation.
Behind the geniuses, Paige and Cabe watched the scene unfolding, hoping that it wouldn't come to blows. Walter was a very stubborn person, and both could see this ending very badly.
Paige wished she could do something to help, but how do you comfort someone after a trauma like that? Whatever Mark was now, back then, he had been Walter's friend. And he had betrayed that trust so completely; even through all of Walter's preaching about not processing emotion, she knew it had to have affected him. Even if he didn't know what it meant at the time.
She studied him closely, and though she wasn't a trained behaviorist like Toby, she wasn't too terrible. Walter was definitely feeling the situation. She pointedly did not think about how good he looked without a shirt on. He was a friend. Nothing more.
"Happy," she murmured, hoping to temper the mechanical genius.
But Happy just shrugged off her concerns. Her voice was pained and her eyes conveyed her hurt as she stared at Walter. "Who was it who pulled you back from the edge, Walter? After all that, you didn't think you owed me an explanation?"
Walter winced at the jab, and the layers of hurt even he could detect in her voice. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, glancing away in shame.
Defeated, Happy slumped, her eyes drawn to the floor. She couldn't be mad at him, because as much as she hated it, she understood why he hadn't said anything.
"So what happened?" Toby asked curiously, ignoring the not so subtle kick Happy delivered to his shin. "Did Mark give you that scar?"
Walter winced again, his hand unwillingly being drawn back to where he knew the scar rested, just underneath his thin t-shirt. He shrugged. "Don't even know where the guy got his hands on a gun," he muttered, looking away. His gaze was drawn to the window off to his side, but he was not unaware of the gasps of surprise and worry his team uttered.
Paige quickly reached out and rested a hand on Toby's shoulder, cautioning him against pushing.
Gathering his thoughts, Walter turned back to the others. His expression, like always, was neutral. Paige wondered if he had had to train himself to never show anything, or if it just came naturally.
"Anyway," he attempted a smile, "it was just a graze."
Cabe frowned at the blasé attitude. It wasn't right. "There's no record of an arrest in his file," he commented. "I checked."
Walter shrugged. "His lawyer got him off; not guilty by reason of mental illness. He spent a couple of years in a hospital, and was released about a year ago."
"You were keeping tabs?" Happy asked knowingly, her heart aching for her friend.
Walter nodded jerkily. "Of course."
They lapsed into silence for a few moments, before Paige pushed passed the others. "Who wants dinner?" she asked briskly. They all looked at her as if she had started speaking a foreign language, and she shrugged. "I'm going to go pick up Ralph, and I'll grab something."
The others nodded slowly, still startled by the change in subject, but Paige waited until Walter inclined his head, before she smiled and disappeared down the stairs. Walter didn't wait for another inquisition, and turned on his heel, heading to his room.
Knowing that they wouldn't get any more out of him, the others went back downstairs to wait for the promised meal.
It wasn't until nearly an hour later, when Paige had returned, son in tow and two large pizzas balanced on one hand, that Walter reemerged. The smell that permeated the garage had likely drawn his attention, and as he quickly grabbed a plate and snagged three slices, Paige wondered idly if he had eaten anything in the last couple of days. She couldn't remember seeing him do so, and if he had gotten distracted by some project, it was likely he had forgotten.
She waited until he had downed the first slice and made a good start on the second before she picked up her plate and wandered over to him. He was sitting with Ralph, who was telling him all about the test he had had to sit through at school, bemoaning the simplicity of long division. She smiled softly to herself. How was it possible that just a few weeks ago, her son had been such a quiet, introverted boy who didn't talk to anyone but her, and needed extra help at school because he couldn't interact socially with others? It made her so happy to see how much Ralph connected with Walter, especially since she knew that he really could relate to the older man. Plus, Ralph needed a male influence in his life. Her ass of an ex wouldn't be that person, so she was glad that a good man had stepped up to fill the void.
Seeing her approach, Walter whispered something in Ralph's ear, causing him to glance behind them at his mother, before he nodded quickly, jammed the last part of his pizza into his mouth, and practically threw himself off of the chair, heading towards the kitchen eagerly.
"What did you tell him?" she asked, only slightly concerned. Despite what he might think, Walter was actually a pretty good father-figure, and he would never do anything to harm Ralph.
Walter shrugged. "I told him he could have an ice cream bar if he finished his pizza."
Paige rolled her eyes, but didn't protest the sweets, even though she knew it would be torture trying to get him to go to bed tonight, with all that sugar. He had already had a soda with dinner.
Instead, she sat down in Ralph's abandoned chair, and nibbled at her own slice of pizza.
Walter waited for her to speak, as he quickly finished his second and third slice. Once his plate was clean, he sat back with a contented sigh. It really had been a while since the last time he had eaten anything substantial.
A fact that Paige seemed to be completely aware of, as she watched him knowingly.
Finally, she shook her head. "That's why I'm here, isn't it." Walter raised an eyebrow questioningly, and she smiled. "Without me, you guys forget about the less important things such as eating and sleeping. It might have taken me a little while, but I'm figuring it out."
Walter chuckled softly. "Yeah, I guess that's true."
Paige furrowed her brow. "Is the rabbit hole really that interesting?"
Walter winced minutely at the term, and Paige frowned.
She started to apologize, but Walter just shrugged. "It's not that it's interesting or anything, it's just a state of being. When your mind gets caught up like that, you're not thinking about the necessities. It's like all your brain power is focusing on the problem at hand." He sighed and shook his head. "Mark and I came up with that term together."
Paige started, not expecting that. "After everything that happened, why do you still use it?" she asked curiously.
Walter shrugged again. "It fits."
Paige thought she understood. Walter was an analytical, logical person. He wouldn't think about the emotional turmoil that would come from using a term coined by a man who had almost killed him.
Walter glanced at her knowingly. "I think I've been around you long enough to know what you're thinking. It's just a saying."
"Made up by a man who nearly killed you," Paige argued.
Walter didn't respond, and Paige glared. "Don't do that. Not with me." Walter looked confused, so Paige had to elaborate. "Don't pretend you're fine, because I just watched you practically sleepwalk your way through this case, like it didn't even bother you, being in the same vicinity as that man."
"Maybe it didn't bother me," Walter suggested.
Paige slapped his arm lightly. "Shut up. I might not be a genius, but I can read people pretty well. You've been on edge all day. You like to pretend that you don't feel anything, but I know the truth."
Walter glanced at her sidelong. "Are we going to have that conversation about IQ and EQ again?" he asked.
Paige's glare was back. "There's a difference between feeling emotion and processing it. You like to pretend that nothing bothers you, but I'm not buying it anymore, Walter. You don't have to open up about everything, but please, stop telling me nothing's wrong." Walter opened his mouth, but Paige spoke over him. "I swear to god, if I hear the word 'fine' come out of your mouth one more time, I will hurt you."
Walter snorted and shook his head. "You don't have to worry about me, Paige. I've been taking care of myself for a long time."
He didn't wait for a response, and simply stood up, grabbing a new bottle of beer before he made his way towards the stairs that led to the rooftop.
Paige watched him go worriedly, her eyes pained. "When will you learn that you don't have to, anymore?" she whispered to herself.
She looked up sharply as Happy joined her, two beers in her hand. She passed one to the single mother, and then popped the cap off of her own, taking a deep swig.
Setting the bottle down, she sighed heavily. "You're new here," she started, and Paige braced herself for another conversation about how she didn't belong. But Happy surprised her. "It takes years to break through the first layer Walter has, and even then, you're never sure if you've actually gotten through, or if you're just seeing what Walter wants you to see." She paused, taking another sip of her beer. "There are different levels of genius, you know?" Paige looked at her questioningly. "Not all of us have as low EQ as Walter would have you believe. Generally speaking, the higher the IQ, the lower the EQ, but some people learn to process better." She bit her lip. "The thing is, Walter never had someone to teach him how."
"What do you mean?" Paige asked. "What about his sister? His parents?"
Happy pursed her lips as she shifted in her seat. "Look, we've all got our stories, you know? Sylvester's parents never encouraged him, but at least they didn't discourage him. Yeah, he hasn't spoken to them in ten years, but at least they provided him with as loving a home as they were able. Toby grew up without a dime. Still though, he had parents who loved him, and supported him through everything, until they died when he was ten. He gambled his way through school and got his doctorate at seventeen."
Happy paused again, and Paige leaned forward slightly. "What about you?"
Happy's jaw clenched. "My father dropped me off at a church when I was two, and told them I was their problem. I grew up in the system, bounced around foster homes, and I learned that people fail you. Machines never will."
Paige winced. "Happy…"
Happy shook her head. "But I had to interact with people. I had to learn how to act in social settings. My point is, Walter never had that. He doesn't talk about it a lot, but his childhood wasn't exactly filled with sunshine and roses."
Paige frowned. "How do you mean?"
Happy shrugged, twisting the beer bottle in her hands. "He never connected with his parents, and I think his dad sort of gave up on him when he was taken in for hacking into NASA to get the shuttle blueprints for his bedroom wall."
Paige snorted. "Seriously?"
A ghost of a smile crossed Happy's face. "He was eleven. That's how he first met Agent Gallo."
Paige tilted her head to the side as she glanced over at the agent, who was currently on his fourth slice of pizza, though his heart clearly wasn't in the food; every few seconds, he would glance at the door leading to the rooftop, and she knew he was physically stopping himself from going to check on the younger man. Apparently, their relationship ran deeper than she had known.
Happy sighed. "I know he and his sister were best friends, but she never pushed him to meet new people, or interact with others. She was always supportive of his genius, but I don't think she realized that she was encouraging him to remain an introvert. If he wasn't forced to socialize with actual people, he would never do it himself. He's much happier inside his own head, no matter how unhealthy that is."
Paige frowned. "What are you trying to tell me, Happy? That I can't help him, because I don't know him as well as you?"
Happy shook her head quickly. "No," she rushed, "not at all. The thing is, ever since you joined the team, I've seen Walter actually show emotion. I've seen him act, well, almost normal. I know we were a little hard on you in the beginning, but I think I can see what Walter did, when he hired you. You're good for him, Paige. You're good for all of us."
Paige blinked, surprised. She had not been expecting that.
Knowing what she was thinking, Happy shrugged. "We might be better than Walter, but we still don't really do emotion." She paused for another sip of her beer. "I think the reason he and Mark got on so well is because they were so similar. Their IQ's are within points of each other, and Mark may have been good at getting inside your head and making you doubt yourself, but he very rarely showed any emotion. He didn't process it, the same way Walter doesn't. It was like he and Walter had their own language, they were so intense when they were together, and the rest of us just couldn't hope to understand." She glanced towards the door leading to the roof, and Paige could see the pain for her friend on the mechanical genius' face. "Even if he says he's fine, he's not. Walter never said anything about why Mark disappeared three years ago, and he's been dealing with this on his own ever since. And that's the issue, because Walter just doesn't deal. He pushes it all down and lets it fester until it comes back up, and he's destroying furniture, and throwing dishes against walls." She nodded at the broken chair a few feet away, and over at the trashcan, where they had thrown out the pieces of the mug Walter had broken.
She downed the last of her beer and stood up. "Walter doesn't know how to respond. That's the problem. It's not that he can't, or doesn't want to. He genuinely doesn't know how. You know what Sylvester told me earlier? Right before Gallo went down that pipe, he told Walter that no matter what happened next, he was glad he got to know him. Walter's response? 'OK'."
Paige stared. "Seriously?"
Happy nodded. "Pushing him won't work, because he can't give you an answer when he doesn't have one. So just tread lightly, yeah?"
Happy jerked her head towards the door to the roof, and walked away.
Understanding, Paige quickly stood up and headed in that direction. She slipped through the door and hurried up the stairs.
When she walked through the next door and outside onto the roof, she wasn't quite sure what she was expecting, but it wasn't to see Walter and her son lying on their backs, licking identical ice cream bars as they stared up at the stars. She smiled softly, seeing the way Ralph had mirrored Walter's posture, with one arm behind his head, to be used as a pillow.
Their legs were similarly crossed at the ankles, and Paige had to hold in a laugh.
As she stepped closer, she was able to hear what they were saying. Not that she understood any of it.
"…Ratio is the same as the ratio of their sum to the larger of the two quantities," Walter was obviously explaining something. "It's one of the most widely used equations throughout history. It can be found in architecture, biology, art, nature, pretty much everywhere."
"The ratio of sequential elements of the Fibonacci sequence approaches the golden ratio asymptotically?" Ralph queried.
Walter nodded. "Good job, kid."
Ralph grinned, and licked his ice cream bar.
Paige decided she should make her presence known, so she stepped forward, catching their attention. "Hey, is this a private genius party, or can anyone join?" she smiled.
Ralph sat up quickly. "Hi mom! Walter's teaching me about the golden ratio. Did you know it can be found in practically anything? Even in flowers!"
Paige's smile widened. She loved seeing her son so happy. "Really?"
Walter sat up as well, while Ralph nodded eagerly. "Isn't that cool?"
Paige ruffled his hair fondly. "Yeah, that is," she agreed.
She glanced at Walter, and he shrugged.
Looking back at her son, she chuckled. "Kid, you've made a mess of yourself, with that ice cream. Why don't you go inside and clean yourself up. We need to get home soon."
Ralph pouted, but did as his mother told him; he really did have an impressive amount of ice cream smeared across his face.
Once the kid was gone, Walter stood up and wandered towards the edge of the roof. He leaned against the railing and looked out at the brightly lit city.
Paige joined him and observed the scenery with admiration. "It's beautiful," she said softly.
Walter glanced down at her, nodding silently.
After another minute of silence, Paige sighed. "I know you don't want to talk about it, but you know that if you do, I'm here, right?"
Walter pondered that for another minute, before he nodded again. Paige waited for his response, wanting to hear him say it. Finally, the genius spoke. "I know what you want, Paige, but I can't do it. I can't tell you how I'm feeling, because I don't know."
Paige nodded quickly, resting a hand on his arm. "I understand, Walter," she placated. When Walter looked at her, disbelieving, she shrugged. "Happy may have clued me in on a few things. But Walter, just because you can't process it now, doesn't mean you can't learn how. I'm here to help you." She paused briefly. "Why don't you just tell me what you can? When you heard Mark was back, how did you react?"
Walter grimaced, thinking back to that moment earlier in the day, when Cabe had asked him if he knew the name. "I don't know," he tried to avoid the question, but Paige was relentless.
"No, Walter, you're not getting away that easy. I want a real answer."
Walter bit his lip, looking away. Without seeing Paige's earnest and hopeful expression, he felt the answer coming a little easier. "Sort of sick," he admitted. "Like when I was nine, the first time I got the flu." He sighed, slumping slightly, his posture all of a sudden looking defeated, and Paige wondered if this was such a good idea. Had she pushed him too hard? Happy had warned her. "When I saw him again, it was like the last three years hadn't happened. Yeah, things ended badly, but before that, we were friends. Why couldn't I stop seeing it?" he whispered, closing his eyes in defeat. All day, it was like he was watching a repeat of that final argument. Over and over again on the inside of his eyelids, he just couldn't escape it.
He was startled when, a moment later, he felt Paige's arms wrap around him. She hugged him gently, proud of what he had admitted. "Walter, everything you felt, it was a completely natural response. You were confronted with a man who had tried to kill you. You were afraid, and confused. You remembered the pain from being attacked by someone you had thought of as a friend." She let go, and made him turn to face her. "Walter, you've never really moved on, because you weren't able do it by yourself. And there's nothing wrong with that."
Walter nodded jerkily, and turned his gaze back to the city below them. Paige, knowing that she had done all she could, rested her arms against the railing, and just stood with him, admiring the view as well.
It was nearly five minutes later, when Walter let out a shuddering breath and relaxed his posture significantly. "I'm not fine," he admitted quietly, his voice so soft that Paige almost wasn't sure she had heard it. She looked at him, and was surprised to see him looking back. One side of his mouth quirked up, in a facsimile of a smile. "I'm not fine," he repeated. "But I think I might be, some day."
Paige nodded slowly, and reached out, grasping his hand tightly. "That's all any of us could ask."
Wow, that turned into a beast! Please review and let me know what you think!