So, this was this random idea I got about the guys getting together and celebrating Naruto returning to Konoha, and well, getting really drunk. A degree of OOC-ness is practically a guarantee.

Chapter One: They Should Have Known Better

"DATTEBAYO!" Naruto shouted. "I've missed this place." He looked around and saw all of his old friends from before he left, sitting around.

"Geez, Naruto. You're as loud as ever." Kiba commented with a grin.

"Not like you have any room to talk, Kiba." Shikamaru said with a sigh. "How troublesome…" He leaned back in his chair.

"Anno sa, anno sa! Why are we here?" Naruto asked. "Isn't this one of those places people like Tsunade-bachan and the Ero Sennin would go? I'm just 15."

"What kind of 15 year old are you, turning down something like this?" Kiba said with a laugh. "Besides, when Godaime Hokage-sama took over, she changed the drinking age to 9."

"NANI?" Naruto screamed. "That Tsunade-bachan, how irresponsible of her." Naruto suddenly stopped. "Wait, we're aloud to be as irresponsible as we want, and no one can say anything."

"Yeah." Shikamaru sighed. "How troublesome."

"Speak for yourself, Shikamaru." Naruto said, knocking glasses with Kiba and Shino. "KANPAI!" Neji just shook his head.

"OHHH! Time for the fun!" Lee screamed. Neji's eyes widened.

"SHIT! Don't let Lee drink anything, he'll go crazy." As he said that, the other guys all got wicked glances in their eyes. 'Why do I even bother?' Neji thought to himself, but he still couldn't help grinning. It took approximately 5 seconds before Lee had sent a plate full of food flying. Chouji stared at him angrily.

"Whashre looking at, freak?" Lee screamed in rage at Chouji. Chouji sighed and drank some sake.

Shikamaru pushed his plate towards Chouji. "You can have mine, Chouji." He told him. Chouji burst out crying.

"FOOD!" He screamed at Shikamaru and started chowing down.

Shikamaru sighed. "There's only one way to make this less painful." He turned to Neji and Shino. "Down the hatch." The two nodded, and soon were feeling quite different.

"So," Kiba said with a grin. "Who's the best looking girl around." Shino was surprisingly the first to speak up.

"Kiba's mom!" He shouted. He turned to the others. "Have you guys seen how she looks? DAMN!"

"YOU BASTARD, SHINO!" Kiba screamed and punched him into Neji.

Neji sighed. "Well, if you look at the girls around our age, that Sakura has filled out a bit, and Ten-ten isn't that bad, either." Neji gave an uncharacteristic smile. Suddenly, Lee pulled him out of his seat.

"Neji you bastard!" He screamed, and prepared to defend himself. "Let's dance!" Naruto and Kiba burst out laughing as Lee attempted to do a waltz with Neji. Neji attempted to push Lee away, prompting Lee to get angry. "Whatsha doin', freak?" He shouted, as he drank more sake.

"They make such a cute couple." Kiba snickered to Naruto. Naruto burst out laughing. Shikamaru gave a bit of a chuckle.

"Speaking of couples," Shino said. "I know we're all dieing to know. How are Sand Ninjas in bed?" Shikamaru just stared. Shino was definitely not the same with alcohol in his body.

"Come on, tell us." Naruto shouted.

"OHHH! Let the secrets of your amazing stories be revealed!" Lee shouted, having gotten bored waltzing with Neji, much to the latter's relief.

"You guys, we've not gotten past 3rd base. Women are so troublesome." Shikamaru groaned. "I don't know why you find all this so interesting."

"Still, nice with an older woman." Shino smirked. "Just like me and……Kiba's mom!" Kiba punched Shino, but the body turned into a bunch of bugs. "BEHOLD! Drunk Kikai Bushin no jutsu!" Shino exclaimed, showing up sitting next to Chouji. He then gave a hiccup, and drank more sake.

"Gah, what's with you Shino? A little sake and your out of control?" Kiba said. "Hold your liquor like a real man." He looked around and saw Lee dancing and screaming, Chouji rolling around, and Naruto jumping around the table.

"This is nice," Shikamaru said. "But not as good as being around a lot of women." He sighed longingly. "Not enough yelling and excitement yet!"

"That's it." Neji said. "I know you're a spy. Get up and fight me, LET'S GO!" Neji walked over and punched nearly 6 inches away from Shikamaru's head. "A fast one, eh? I'll get you. SHARINGAN!" He screamed. He let loose another punch and hit… Rock Lee.

Lee glared at Neji. "Whashre doing, FREAK!" Lee screamed a the top of his lungs.

So, how was that for a first chapter?

Next time: Things take a turn for the worse when a certain Kazekage and his brother show up in Konoha, and get in on the fun. Please review.