My friend Sam and I wrote this just for fun, so if you're looking for a stupid and pointless, yet completely and totally funny fic, then this is what you have. We both hope you enjoy this and we look foreward to your comments. Note: this takes place in the Murauder era!

Mmmmm Pie

It was a beautiful Friday afternoon in Paradise. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, girls were screaming.....Girls were screaming?

"YOU RUINED HIM!!!!" Sam screamed teary eyed at the t. v screen. "Sirius is supposed to be sexy! J.K Rowling said so!"

"Okay...No more Prisoner of Azkaban for you." Riley said grabbing the remote and turning off the t. v.

"Hey!" Sam cried indignantly. "Turn it back on jerk!" "No!" "Yes!" "NO!" "YES!!" "NOOOO!" "YES, YES, YES!" "Lalala I can't hear you" Riley sang, covering her ears with her hands.

Sam glared at her and walked into the kitchen. She scanned the fridge for something good to eat when she saw it. Lemon Pie. "Mmmm...Pie" Sam said going dreamy eyed.

"Is that lemon pie?!" Riley screamed, noticing the pie in Sam's hand. "Give me!" "Hey don't be so pushy!" Sam said.

She walked past Riley holding the pie just out of reach. She has almost made it to the living room safely when Riley dived. "Noooooo!" She cried as Riley knocked into her sending them and the pie flying.

The pie flew into the t.v. screen and things started to go blurry.

"Whoa, what's happening?" Sam exclaimed, holding up her hand to see it looking like static fuzz from the t.v.

"I don't know" Riley said, her voice echoed through the room. The room lurched and the two girls screamed as they felt themselves launch forward through the misty night. It felt like there was a hook behind their navel.

The two girls landed in a lake over looking a great castle.

"Sam where are we?" Riley's voice shook. "I think we're at Hogwarts" she said awestruck. "That's ridiculous" Riley said and rolled her eyes. "Is not" Sam said while splashing water at Riley.

Just then they both felt two slimy tentacles wrap around them.

"Ewww! Squicky!" Sam cried, pushing at the slimy green thing around her waist.

"Get it off!" Riley screamed. She wriggled, trying to free herself from its clutch. Then the great green tentacles released them and they landed with a dull thud on the ground.

"Owww." Sam groaned rolling around the ground. Riley winced, standing up and rubbing her sore butt. "Stupid Squid!" She glared at the lake.

"Grrr!" Sam shook her fist at it. Riley looked at her. "What? I was voicing my anger" She said.

"Well what do we do now?" Riley asked. "We go and find Dumblywumbly and get sorted!" Sam cheered. "Dumblywumbly?" Riley said staring at Sam. "God I don't even want to know. Come on." She grabbed Sam's arm and began to drag her up to the castle.

As they walked towards the castle they could see the Great Hall lit up but there were no students there. "Oooo pretty lights" Sam said staring at the floating candles.

The color suddenly drained from Riley's face. "Sam, we aren't magical people. We don't have wands or books or robes. What are we gonna do?" she said shakily.

As if on cue, two trunks appeared before them. Sam opened them up. "Looks like we are magical after all" she grinned and pulled her robes over her head. Riley did the same, still confused.

The doors to the castle opened to find a younger McGonagall walking out. She looked over at the two girls and made her way over to them.

"You're early" She said, eyeing both of them. "You'll just have to wait in that room." She pointed to a small door on the side of the hall. They nodded and made their way over to the room.

When she was sure McGonagall was out of earshot Sam muttered "She is really scary." Riley nodded in agreement. "So how early do you think we are?" She asked. Sam shrugged and plopped down a chair that occupied a corner of the small room.

Riley opened her mouth to speak but before she could a loud cackle sounded from the ceiling. They looked up and floating above them smiling evilly was Peeves. "Ickle first years. All nervous are we?" He asked, swooping down on them.

Riley and Sam both ducked. "Hey!" Sam cried. Peeves blew a raspberry at them and floated out of the room. "I really don't like him." Riley said, glaring at the spot on the wall where he had disappeared through.

Riley looked over at Sam. "What year do you think we're in?" she asked. "As long as we see Sirius then who cares!?" Sam exclaimed while licking her lips at the thought of Sirius Black.

Riley giggled and shook her head. About 15 minutes later the door opened and many other frightened 11 year olds filed into the room. Riley looked around nervously and suddenly felt Sam's hand on her shoulder and turned around to see her mouth hanging open.

She suddenly grinned and said "Christmas seems to have come early this year" point to the handsome face of Sirius Black. She nearly fell over as a greasy haired boy bumped into her.

"Watch where you're going" he muttered while standing up. His eyes met with Sam's and he took her hand in his. "I'm sorry for being so rude, please excuse me. My name is Severus Snape, but you can call me lover boy" he kissed her hand and Sam just looked at him.

She turned to face Riley. "Ewwww get him off me" she cried.

Instead of helping her friend Riley began to laugh. "Oh ... My... God" She cried between gasps. "This is too funny!" "IT IS NOT!" Sam yelled, glaring at her friend, who was now laughing so hard that she was crying.

She sighed angrily. "Get away from me slimy." She snapped at Snape, pushing him into the crowd of first years that was now watching with interest. "Stop staring!" They all turned away and began to talk quietly amongst themselves, throwing the occasional glance towards Sam and Riley.

"See now everybody thinks we're weird!" Sam said. "No just you and you are so it doesn't matter." Riley teased. Sam blinked and considered this. "Yeah I guess you're right." They were then interrupted by a scrawny boy with messy hair.

"Hello I'm James Potter" he said while extending a hand. Riley flushed and Sam shook it in hers. "Sam Hatt and this is Riley Melanson" she said tilting her head towards her friend.

Riley smiled and waved at him. "My friends and I were just wondering who you are. We didn't see you on the train." He said. "We're ummm exchange students, right Sam?" Riley said nervously. "Uhh yeh! Permanent exchange students! From Canada!" Sam said shiftily.

"Wicked" James said smiling. "Oh! These are my friends. Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew." They all waved and smiled at the two girls. Sam stared dreamily at Sirius Black as Riley tried not to stare at James.

"Hope we all get in the same house" James said and stalked off with his friends. Sam finally came back to reality and said "This could be fun" with a huge grin on her face.

"Really fun." Riley agreed. "Hey we're kind of sick you know. They're only 11." Sam said thoughtfully. "Since we're first years does that mean we're 11 too?" "Must be." Riley said and shrugged.

"Well if they're too young to fall in love with then we may as well make friends with them." Sam grinned. "Excellent" She said, doing her best imitation of Mr. Burns.

"Ahem" Said a voice. All eyes turned to the front of the room where McGonagall was standing holding a piece of parchment. "You will now be sorted into your houses. When I call your name you will go to the front of the hall. Come along." She said swinging open the door and leading them all single file into the hall.

A/N> Once again we hope you enjoyed this and we can't wait to see what you have to say!