Title: A Moments Peace
Author: Littlewicked1982
Rating: PG-13
Appreciation: Thank you to Shellie, Kareem and to my muses, that buzz in my ear till I have to write what they want. "Pesky buggers."
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter world castle and characters are in no way mine. They are J.K Rowling. I just play in their world.
A Moments Peace
The Astronomy tower had always been a sanctuary for me. A place for me to go to get away from the whole "Boy Who Lived" image that everyone seems to expect from me.
A place in first year to think about the new information given to me about a man, demon, and thing that wants to kill me. That had killed my parents. The reason that I never got to know them. Never had my mother bandage a wounded knee. Never had my father to give me all those father son talks. The reason I was stuck at the Dursleys. The reason I am famous. The thing that still wanted to kill me.
Second year I would come up here gazing over the snow covered ground. Praying that I wasn't the Prince of Slytherin as every one seemed to think. Truth be told I wasn't as sure as I pretended to be. Hoping that I didn't have that kind of evil in me just because of a failed curse. That I wasn't going insane just because I could hear voices the coming from the wall.
Third year I spent with tears on my cheeks and fist clenched at the injustice of my parent's betrayal. Swearing murder to the wrong man. Picturing over and over in my mind how the confrontation would play out. It was the first year that I wasn't scared for my life or my sanity. I was too angry, to focused to be scared.
I spent fourth year cursing my fame, and for a good part of it Ron as well. Hoping that I was good enough to do what was being demanded of me. Place in a tournament against my will and without my knowledge. Labeled a Champion and a cheat all in one breath, by the same people. It helps none that one happens to be your best friend. Place in a rank of people two years above you.
Here was where I sought refuge in fifth year. Watching the sun sink, wishing that night would never come. Night meant sleep and sleep meant visions. They were Heart wrenching, gut twisting visions. A place to morn for Cedric and to come to terms with my place in his death. "Kill the spare" still ring in my ears sometimes. A could get my anger if not under control here that at least manageable. I kicked, screamed, raged and as always cried
Now here I am at the beginning of my sixth years here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and I still come up here. But now it's to grieve over my godfather. I cursed Dumbledore for his secrets and hidden agendas. That if told to me could have spared the one person I could of called a guardian. To plot, plan, and practice my way into defeating Voldermort. I sit up here looking up at the starry sky fantasizing about could have been, will be after I have done what is required of me, what is expected.
Sometimes I think after it's all done I'll just vanish in to the Muggle world and not tell anyone where I have gone. Would it be so bad really?
Part of me wishes for death. For that green light that snuffs out ones soul. It would teach the wizarding world not to put their hopes in a boy. Because when it's all said and done that's all that I am. A scared, confused sixteen year old boy. Even with all that I've gone through, all that I've done.
It was with those heavy thought that I climbed the spiral stair case to a place many would say I spend far too much time. As I've said it remain my sanctuary, my refuge, my place for solitude. And it was that night as I turned the last curve and climbed the last step that I saw him. My exact opposite, my rival, the Prince of Slytherin. Draco Malfoy.
I don't think he noticed me at first, too fixed on his own thoughts perhaps. I remember wondering is this that I would look like if someone would happen upon me up here. I was brought out of my musings soon enough.
"You breathe loudly Potter. I would not suggest spying as a career."
I walked out of the shadows that I thought hid me and stood beside him, at the wall over looking the grounds. Funny how either one of us had the normal venom in our voices.
"I was not spying!"
"Really? What would you call standing in the dark and failing to announce your presence?" He was still looking out and over. Hadn't once turned his eyes towards me.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Spying, observing maybe on some level it's the same thing." I got a small chuckle for my remark. Then there was a pause as we both took in the situation that we found ourselves in. A truce then if only for tonight, if just for the moment.
"What are you doing here Potter?" There was no emotion in his voice. Just a question posed.
"Probable the same thing you are. I come up here to think, clear my head."
He nodded his head in agreement.
"Potter do you ever think that it's all out of your control? I don't know fated…predestined?"
The question surprised me coming from Malfoy. My attention was drawn to his hand rubbing his arm absent mindedly.
"All the time." I took a hard look as if could see the Dark mark through his robes. "Have you gotten it yet?"
His hand stopped finally realizing what it was doing.
"No. Not yet. I keep wondering what it will look like burned in to my flesh… Will it hurt?" He looked down embarrassed I think "Stupid question of course it will hurt, it's a burn."
He wasn't denying it. He was readily admitting that he would be a death eater. That shook my foundation. Then it hit me. He didn't want to be. He had no more desire to be a death eater then I had to be the savior of the wizarding world.
"You don't have to get it Malfoy. You could ask Dumbledore for help. I'm sure he would."
"O.H. I'm sure he would try. But could he protect me from the Slytherins, Voldemort, and my father?" He shook his head. "No, Harry we each have our roles to fulfill."
"You'll lose you know. You'll get hurt. Worst think you will have to hurt others. Do you really think you could hurt or kill a housemate? Not all slytherin are evil you know?"
"You mean like not all Gryffindor are good? As for killing a housemate, do you think you could?"
I looked away. "I don't know. I don't know if I could knowingly kill anyone."
"Then how do you predict that you will win?"
"Because I don't think Voldemort is not a person but a monster. A monster that has taken more from me than anyone else on this planet and I will see that monster burn." I felt my cheeks flush with anger. I took a deep breath to calm myself. "Sorry. I just…"
"Forget it Harry."
We spent a few minute looking out over the grounds and lake in silence. Finally he turned to me with haunted grey eyes. "You know this changed nothing right? That…"
"I know." I interrupted. "Tomorrow we're back to the same old same old. Truce over."
He nodded "I'm glad to see you understand. Well see you around Potter." He made his way to the stairs.
"Malfoy listen." He didn't turn around but he did stop. "If you ever change your mind?" I stopped not knowing how to continue.
"I won't. We each have our role to play in this. Either way it goes our fates are sealed and our destinies written."
It was a year ago that I stood on that balcony with Draco Malfoy. Having the one and only decent conversation that I ever had with him. The next day we acted like nothing had happened. The insults, name calling and the hexes flew, but I think we could see pain in each others eyes. I know that I could see his. The others never seemed to notice that there was a little less conviction in our voices and if they did they never said any thing.
The final battle came and I defeated Voldemort as expected, in a blinding, maddening, and bloody mess. The death eater scattered trying to get lost in the chaos. But some how maybe by the fate that he talked about so much that night Draco Malfoy ended up at the point of my wand. Our eyes connected and I couldn't help but to wonder if he was thinking about the truce we made for one night. I saw the smallest movement from his lips and wand. I was a hair faster.
"Petrificus Totalus."
He hit the ground with a thump. I walked over the blood covered 5 yard that separated us and looked down at him. I felt badly. He was a victim of chance as much as I, Maybe more because my part in the play was that of the hero.
"I'm sorry Draco."
I turned and walked away. He had his chance for redemption. I offered salvation. The Aurors will come a collect him. He will stand trial and with a little Malfoy luck and influence he might even get off. A big piece of me hopes so. Fate, Destiny they know.
As for me I think latter tonight I will be starring off at the sky of a very tall tower clearing my head.
Alternate ending:
It was a year ago that I stood on that balcony with Draco Malfoy. Having the one and only decent conversation that I ever had with him. The next day thing we acted like nothing had happened. The insult, name calling and the hexes flew, but I think we could see pain in each others eyes. I know that I could see his. The others never seemed to notice that there was a little less conviction in our voices and if they did they never said any thing.
The final battle came and I defeated Voldemort as expected, in a blinding, maddening, and bloody mess. The death eater scattered trying to get lost in the chaos. But some how maybe by the fate or that he talked about so much that night Draco Malfoy ended up at the point of my wand. Our eyes connected and I couldn't help but to wonder if he was thinking about the truce we made for one night. I saw the smallest movement from his lips and wand. I was a hair faster.
"Petrificus Totalus."
He hit the ground with a thump. I walked over the blood covered 5 yard that separated us and looked down at him. I felt badly. He was a victim of chance as much as I, Maybe more because my part in the play was that of the hero. I looked down at him and I know I couldn't do it to him. I knelt beside him and removed the curse just enough that he could talk.
"You didn't want any of this did you?"
"No." I could tell it was a hardship for him to talk but he got the word out.
"I was just thinking that we are but victims of chance. You and I. So here is what we're going to do." I took a deep breath not quite believing myself what I was about to offer him. "I'm giving you a second chance. I'm going to tell Dumbledor and the ministry that you saved me from a death eater. That is your second chance. Don't make me regret this. Your fate, your destiny are yours now. I'll be watching you." I lifted the curse and walked away. I left him there on the ground looking bewildered. I don't know that any one had ever had a moment's mercy on him before. I hope he make the best of the chance that I'm giving him. If not charges can be faked or drug up from the dark shadows of our past, and I will put him where he probable should go. But those thoughts were too heavy right then. I needed to be looking up at the sky, standing on top of a very tall tower.