There she was again; curled up in an armchair by the fire, that thin nose buried once again in a book. I padded quietly through the portrait hole, dusting the leaves off my robes to hide evidence of my late-night stroll across the grounds. My foot caught on my robes with the next step I took and suddenly I was flying toward the ground. Something roughly jerked my ankle upwards and everything turned upside-down, my nose barely an inch from the carpet. I could feel the blood rushing to my head as I fought my robes for my wand. A smooth, quiet voice spoke from the fireside and I froze.
"Not so much fun, is it?"
"Why, Lily, I thought you hated this spell?" I said, craning my neck to see the girl. "I seem to recall you saying you would never use such magic on another person."
"Yes, well I thought you should see for yourself how it feels," Lily replied. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her flick her wand and my head found carpet with an unpleasant thud.
"Ow," I mumbled, placing a hand on my now-throbbing forehead. I made my way to one of the squashy chairs across from Lily and threw myself down. I watched the girl settle herself back in her armchair, open her book again, and resume reading. The firelight made her hair glow an even brighter red and made her face somehow softer. Truly, she was beautiful.
"Why are you so protective of him?" I blurted, and her eyes darted up to mine. Though the firelight threw them into shadow, I had the slightest suspicion that they were narrowed.
"Who?" she breathed.
"That boy. Snivellus," my lips curled around the name, leaving a bad taste in my mouth.
She lifted her chin and now I could see her eyes. Those normally soft green irises now fierce and dangerous. I almost flinched. She was sure something.
"His name is Severus," she said, voice now at full and considerable volume. "And he has never done anything to deserve what you boys do to him."
"No?" here I sat up, feeling anger flare inside my chest. "What about the curses? The traps? The potions? He deserves every last thing he gets. Except you."
"Sirius Black, you started messing with him the moment you met him on the Hogwarts Express. He hadn't done anything to you before."
Anything Lily had said after my name was lost to me. My heart skipped a beat when I heard her soft voice utter my name and I was too busy trying to figure out why to listen. But her face remained fierce and so I figured I should appear either chastised or offended. I went with offended.
"I can't believe this. You're angry with us for protecting you?"
"Protecting?" Lily cried, a disbelieving laugh entering her voice. With every sentence her voice rose and I wondered if the whole of Gryffindor House would wake. That sounded like fun. "Protection from what, may I ask? Severus would never hurt me. Ever."
I snorted. "There's something wrong with that boy, and a girl like you shouldn't be hanging around him is all."
"Oh, then what? I should be hanging around with you and James? I'm sure you two are so much better. I don't know how Remus fell in with you lot. He, at least, seems to have a good head on his shoulders."
I gave a barking laugh. "Only some of the time," I waved a hand in the air, as if to waft the subject of Remus away. That was dangerous ground to tread upon. "Snivellus, however-"
"Severus."
"Whatever. He's just…" I fished for an accurate word. "Wrong. The way he looks at you. His eyes are so greedy. And when you talk to someone else I swear I see murder in them. Especially when that someone is James."
"Well, I wouldn't be too keen on anybody that was always picking on me, either," Lily sniffed. "You really expect Severus to like James?"
"That's not what I'm saying, Lily," my voice became quieter now, softer. Suddenly I could feel each beat of my heart pulsing through my body. "It's not natural. I just think…a girl like you should be…better taken care of." I felt my cheeks warming and was thankful that the firelight was too dim to give me away. What in the world was I doing?
I seemed to have left Lily at a loss for words, because she sat quietly for a long time before she spoke.
"I never thought you had the capacity to be serious, Sirius," she stopped abruptly and gave a tinkling laugh that made my heart flutter. "Sorry, I guess I should have said sincere." I smiled and gave a silent laugh through my nose as I leaned back in my chair.
"You and me both, apparently," I said.
"You really feel that way about me?" she asked, so quietly it was almost inaudible. I screwed my eyes shut tight. What in the world was I doing? I needed to fix this, no matter how much it wrenched my heart.
"Well," I began, each word that I forced out of my mouth feeling like it weighed a ton. "I mean, I do think you deserve to be treated right and everything. But…" I had to say it. This was not right. "James is the one who really 'feels that way'. That's why he hates Severus so much. Apart from the fact that something is wrong with that boy." I let out a sigh. There.
I heard Lily give a tiny gasp of surprise, and though her face was now mostly hidden I could still see that a hint of a smile was now playing upon it. My heart gave a painful stab that quickly twisted into guilt. I should be happy for James. I had no right to fall for this girl I knew my best friend fancied. At least with James I knew she would be happy.
Lily stood, still smiling, and walked toward me. "Thank you, Sirius," she said quietly, leaning down and kissing my cheek ever so lightly before hurrying towards the staircase that lead to the girls' dormitories. I sat still for a few long moments, frozen with shock, the place where she kissed growing hot.
"You're welcome, Lily," I murmured into the dark common room as the fire slowly died to embers.