A/N: This is my first ACOTAR FF, it's set after ACOWAR, so there are spoilers.
I hope you enjoy it. Please R&R and feel free to throw suggestions of what you'd like to see/where you think this should go.
I don't have a specific update schedule, but I am committed to my writing, and will always finish my stories. Thanks for reading.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own the ACOTAR series or its characters.
Chapter 1
I sat at my writing desk and scrunched up yet another piece of paper and sighed. Why was this damned letter so difficult to write? I supposed I was feeling guilty that I was keeping Rhys in the dark about it; there was no way he'd want me to send it if he knew, but I thought that if I could get the plans in place before telling him that he might be a bit more receptive to the idea.
I grabbed a new piece of paper and tried again:
Tamlin
I would like to come and visit you at the Spring Court.
I know we've not been on the best terms since I left and with the war, but I still want to be your friend, and maybe I could help you in some way to reinstate your Court. I do feel bad for what happened to Spring after I left with Lucien.
As well as myself, I would like to bring my sister Elain (you know, the one Ianthe sold out to Hybern and got thrown in the Cauldron – no no no, I mustn't write that bit as much as I want to, I thought). Since she changed she's become withdrawn. She loves flowers and gardening and I was hoping that being in the Spring Court might bring her out of herself a bit.
I hope you'll allow us to visit.
Yours, Feyre.
I studied the letter and read it to myself over and over. I don't know how long it was until I decided that I wouldn't be able to word it any better, so I folded it up and sent it.
Once it had disappeared I loosed the breath I was holding. Tamlin would either agree or decline, and if he did agree I then had to try and persuade Rhys and the rest of the Inner Circle to allow us to go.
I groaned as I got to my feet and walked down the stairs, trying to navigate with the bump. I'd got another eight months until the baby was due – if Thesan was correct – so that wouldn't stop me leaving Velaris: After all, I still trained with Cassian three times a week. Rhys though would be a problem; he was happy to let me make my own choices, but add the baby into the mix and he was more cautious and Cassian and Azriel were downright against me doing anything but sit around.
After I'd raided the kitchen I sat down in front of the fire with my feet up, eating as much cake as I could carry and absently rubbing the bump. I marvelled at how things had been these last few months when a letter appeared on the table in front of me. I knew it was from Tamlin from the handwriting. I picked it up and carefully opened it, whilst making sure my mental shields were solid; so Rhys wouldn't find out just yet.
Feyre, it said.
I don't want or need your help and I'm not sure it's a good idea for the High Lady of the Night Court to come, especially when I'm starting to get things sorted out after your last 'visit'. Frankly, I don't think I want to see you with what you did to me and my Court when you left.
That said, I feel somewhat responsible for what happened to your sisters, so if you think a visit would help in Elain's adjustments then I suppose it can be arranged for you both to come and stay.
Tamlin.
I sighed. I knew he would never forgive me – and had prepared myself for his brashness before I'd written my letter – yet this was still like a slap in the face. At least he was willing to try and help Elain. Now, I just had to figure out how to tell Rhys and persuade Elain to leave the house for the visit.
I decided that I was going to inform them all that night at dinner. I'd told them all to meet us at the House of Wind; I figured that if I needed to shout or release my magic that there was more room there.
I was sat at the table with Elain next to me and Nesta opposite her. Mor and Amren came in and seated themselves and we made idle chat whilst waiting for the others. Cassian and Lucien eventually came down from the sparring ring and we needed to wait for Rhys and Azriel to finish their meeting.
I must have been too quiet or more nervous than I thought as Amren kept looking at me and Mor kept asking what was wrong. Just as she had finished asking they finally walked in. Rhys kissed the top of my head as he strode to his seat. As he sat down he looked at me and raised an eyebrow.
What's up? He asked down the mating bond.
Just trying to work out what else I can do to help Elain, I answered back.
"Feyre, what's wrong?" Mor repeated, yet again.
They both kept on at me and I could feel my magic starting to bubble up; it didn't take much to get me to snap these days. I took a steadying breath then looked Rhys square in the face as I told him, "I'm going to Spring, to visit Tamlin, and I'm taking Elain with me".
All conversation around the table ceased as everyone looked at me with incredulity. Now that I had their attention I ploughed on "I sent him a message this morning asking to allow us to visit, as I thought that all the gardens would be nice for Elain to see. He said yes, so I think we should go the day after tomorrow". They all just sat staring at me, so I continued "we shouldn't be gone for more than a week".
Cassian was the first one to get his head around it "surely, you don't mean for just you two to go….do you?" he asked, eyebrows raised.
"Hadn't really thought about it," I responded.
Rhys was looking at me with worry and concern that he thought I was suggesting something stupid.
I was holding his stare when Mor cut in "I don't think it's a good idea Feyre," she said gently. "Tamlin isn't exactly stable…" she trailed off.
"That's another reason I want to go, to show Spring that even though Tamlin and I aren't together any more we can still work together. I broke his Court apart and I want to see if I can help put it back together".
"Spring is none of your concern" Rhys eventually said with a menace. I could see that his fingers had turned to talons in his anger, "there are other places you could take Elain. Your responsibility is to Night".
"We're going, though I'll take one of those three, if I must" I conceded, gesturing to Cassian, Azriel and Lucien "they'll make sure we're ok".
"Not good enough, not even with all three do I want you there. Tamlin hates you for what happened and once he sees that you're pregnant it could very well send him over the edge. I'm not willing to risk it".
"You're not willing to risk it?!" I hissed at him. "How about I'm willing to risk it".
"You're not going".
"I am".
"No, you're not, and that's final!"
His voice had the air of a High Lord order to it, and it sent my magic bubbling over. Granted, since becoming pregnant it happened a lot more frequently. I shifted, and my Illyrian wings appeared on my back and my fingers became talons and the room plunged into my darkness, as my magic clashed with Rhys'. I heard Cassian murmur "shit!" and felt him and Azriel leave the table, no doubt in an attempt to pull us apart and get me to calm down.
Azriel grasped my shoulders and turned me to face him; the shadows around him seeming darker in the darkened room "Feyre, you need to calm down. Come on, let's go outside". Ever the Illyrian of few words, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to the roof of the house, ignoring my protests.
Once we got to the roof Azriel led me to a chair and sat next to me. "You know why he's put his foot down about this, don't you?" I refused to look at him, so he ploughed on "he's always given you the choice to decide for yourself, even if he didn't agree with it. I think this is maybe just too far, even for Rhys. He's worried for you both".
I looked him in the eyes "are you talking to him? Is he telling you what to say?".
Azriel could see the loaded questions for what they were, but didn't dare lie to his High Lady. "Yes. He wondered if you'd calmed down enough to talk to as you've completely shielded him out".
"That's really shitty Az, talking to him behind my back".
He had the decency to look abashed. "I'll talk to him" Azriel offered. "I'll tell him that I'll accompany you both". I gave a non-commital grunt, so he said "still pissed huh? Fancy going on a trip?"
I looked up "where?".
"Court of Nightmares; there's some kind of problem and Keir is kicking off, also…..he REALLY needs to meet pissed-off Feyre!" he said with a gleam in his eyes.
I laughed. "Fine, but you can tell Rhys".
I watched him as his eyes wondered, obviously talking to Rhys, then a big smile spread on his face "Mor and Cass want to come too! I think they're taking bets on how long it'll take you to string up Keir".
I rolled my eyes, smiling, "tell them we'll meet them there in half an hour; I need to get ready".
After flying to the town house and a quick change of clothes I grabbed my crown and we were ready to leave. Azriel winnowed us and we met Cassian and Mor at the doors to the Hewn City. Mor's dress was as scandalous as ever, she wore a blue gown with panels cut out of the bodice. I wore my new midnight black gown that was laced at the sides to accommodate the bump. Cassian and Azriel had tapped their Siphons and were covered in their black battle armour with glowing Siphons. I threw my raven feathered crown on my head any old how - much to Mor's dismay. Cassian and Azriel adopted their positions at my side – with the latter offering me his arm to hold – and Mor flowed along behind us.
As our little procession made its way through the throne room towards the dais I caught sight of the silver circlet Keir wore as steward. I thought he was going to sneer at me, but he wisely kept his mouth shut. As we got to the two thrones, Azriel helped me sit down and noticed as I winced at the uncomfortableness of my throne. Mor surveyed the room with a raised eyebrow and they all at once bowed, including my three friends – something I would never be comfortable with.
"Rise" I said, trying to look bored. Everyone stood looking at me. "Continue with your…whatever" I added, waving my hand vaguely.
Everyone in the room then started mingling, music started, and food appeared on the tables. Keir stood to the side, looking shocked and angry. He caught sight of my looking at him and came over and bowed again
"Greetings High Lady" he said rather stiffly "where is the High Lord? I, umm, had a matter that needed his attention".
"Busy," I responded whilst examining my nails "that's why I'm here. What is this 'matter'?"
Several of the courtiers near us had stopped to pay attention to this conversation, but before Keir could continue Cassian stepped out from behind my throne and looked at him.
"It cannot have escaped your attention that our High Lady is with child, yet you have not offered your congratulations".
Keir was hastily trying to offer up his congratulations when Azriel also stepped forward "I believe that our High Lady also finds her throne to be somewhat uncomfortable, given her present state, maybe you should remedy that".
Keir snapped his fingers and some cushions appeared next to my throne as Mor stood from her position of sitting on the arm of Rhys' throne, looked at her father head on and said, "I believe that our High Lady might like some refreshments; why don't you get her some and then Azriel can check it for poison?" The murderous glare on her father's face didn't faze Mor, she just stood her ground with him until he moved away. I looked up at Cassian and saw the wicked gleam in his eyes; they were all enjoying this as much as me.
Mor was stuffing a cushion behind me (which was a welcome relief) when Keir returned. Azriel intercepted the plate and goblet and then nodded they were safe and placed them on the table next to me. Keir stood stiffly in front of me and managed to say through his clenched teeth, "now that you are comfortable my Lady" – he drawled the last part – "maybe we can attend to this matter seeing as High Lord Rhysand doesn't want to deal with it".
Instantly, I could feel the ire that had been slowly ebbing away after I'd left the House of Wind rise. "Of course," I replied with a false sweetness.
I gestured for him to elaborate so he continued, "it seems that when our citizens have visited Velaris that the shops and restaurants have refused to serve them".
"And?".
"And?! And I want you to do something about it. This is not what High Lord Rhysand promised when we agreed to bring the Darkbringer Legion into your war".
"Our war Kier! THE war was to save all of Prythian – here included – from Hybern, something you would do well to remember". I felt my fire quite literally at my fingertips, "the fact that you got access to Velaris is a bonus for you".
"Not much of a bonus if we can't do anything whilst we're there," he moaned.
I lost it, the throne room darkened and went ice cold and the fire in the wall sconces flitted in response to the ice and fire in my veins. Everyone stopped as the music silenced. I swear I could feel the grins of my three companions as dark tendrils of magic leached from me and snaked towards Keir and stopped right in front of him.
"So?" I growled. He looked up at me, and the look he gave me told me all I needed to know: He thought I was bluffing and just making a show of my magic, that I wouldn't do any more than this – how wrong he was!
"I want you" he gestured to the four of us, "to make them trade with us".
"No", I responded, "the people of Velaris are free to trade – or not – with whomever they please".
"This is your work", he pointed solely at me now, "you told them not to trade with us, so we wouldn't bother going".
The tendrils of magic became solid as they lashed around his wrists and ankles. I broke his mental shields like they were glass, his whole body stiffening at my intrusion. I sent a spike of pain straight into his head and he hissed at me.
"Now now, it's not my fault if your mental shields are inadequate enough that they let me in with no resistance". I flashed him a dangerous smile as I continued "we will not be making anyone trade with you, you will not summon me down here for insignificant things like this and you WILL NOT look at me like I'm scum. I am not just the mate of your High Lord, I am your High Lady and you will treat me as such". I could feel the fear radiating from those assembled in the room as they all bowed to me again.
"Feyre darling" drawled a voice from the doorway. I looked over to see Rhys standing against the door, hands in his pockets as usual. "I think you should let Keir go or you just might turn his mind to mush, and whilst I don't care about that, I don't really have the time nor the inclination to train a new steward".
I huffed out a breath as I flicked a lazy hand towards Keir, and he fell to the floor. The look he threw me was one of pure malice. Whilst Keir climbed to his feet Rhys walked to me and offered me his hand, I took it and he pulled me to my feet. He then tucked my hand into the crook of his elbow as he turned to face Keir.
"Our position has been made clear to you on this subject, so I don't expect to hear about it again. Now, is there anything else before we leave?"
Keir lowered his head as he responded "No, High Lord".
"Good, then we'll be going". Rhys gestured to Mor to lead the way, we followed, Cassian and Azriel following us.
Once we'd left the Court of Nightmares we all winnowed back to the townhouse.
"Feeling better?" Rhys grinned at me and I just rolled my eyes. "How'd she do?" he asked others.
I looked at them, ready to see in them that I'd crossed a line, but they all grinned.
Mor was positively beaming as she replied "great, although he deserved to suffer more". Cassian and Azriel nodded their agreement.
"Great. Now, about your trip," Rhys started. The eyes of the others instantly looked to me as Rhys continued "Amren thinks it might be a good idea and Nesta likes the idea of Elain getting away for a little while. So, despite my…..reservations, I think you should go, but with some precautions".
I raised my eyebrow at him whilst he continued, "Azriel will go first and check it all out then he'll stay with you for the duration of your stay". I nodded, "Amren also pointed out that it's Calanmai in 6 days, so she thinks it'll be a good opportunity for you to help Tamlin with the Great Rite". I swear that I heard Mor's jaw hit the floor, so Rhys turned to her and said "not as the Maiden, Mor! I mean, she can help him prepare the celebrations". Mor seemed satisfied so he continued to me "and, as the borders are open I'll be able to visit and maybe we can participate ourselves".
Cassian pointedly coughed to remind him we weren't alone and Azriel slunk more into his shadows. Mor just laughed.
Rhys turned to the trio and said "right, out you lot, it's bed time". Once they'd left, Rhys put his arms around me "I'm sorry for saying no. I've always told you that I'll never make your decisions for you and there I was doing that. I need you to understand Feyre, that just like after the mating bond snapped into place and I got a little possessive…".
"A little?!" I countered. "
"Okay, a lot, but this is the same. Your being pregnant means I have more of a need to protect you – both of you – than normal. Just, be patient with me again, please".
I nodded and gave him a kiss, the next thing I know he'd scooped me up, carrying me upstairs, muttering about needing some comfort.
I'd sent Tamlin a message the next morning explaining that I'd be bringing Azriel with us. I then went and explained it all to Elain, who at first was a little concerned but when I'd explained all about the gardens she seemed to brighten up to the idea.
The day after that Elain, Rhys and I were stood in the town house with our bags. Azriel had gone on ahead and we were waiting for the all clear before Rhys winnowed us in. We'd discussed that Rhys would literally drop us off, as we didn't want to piss Tamlin off any more than necessary. When Azriel sent through the all clear Rhys grabbed mine and Elain's hands and we left for the Spring Court.