Across the Great United States
Yay! This was co-written with my good buddy Blair!
DISCLAIMER: Wow, um.. Everyone b'longs to Jhonen (that's Jhonen Vasquez for all you people that, uh.. denno who he is. But if you dun know who he is… Why are you in this category?!) 'cept for me and Blair. *Nod, nod*
Sidenote: I wrote the entries for Nny, Squee, myself (Kris), Zim, and Gir. Blair wrote the entries for Dib and herself.
Tuesday, November 20th, 2001. 12:00 P.M.
Nny's entry: Dear Die-ary,
I'm glad I brought you. Kris said something about computers, but it made my head hurt, so I stopped listening to her. Squee's here. He looks kind of nervous. I brought him over about half an hour ago and offered him part of my leftover Pop-Tart, but he didn't want it. Some guy came over this morning. I think he was selling something, but I was distracted by the dead animal on his head. He made some comment about my house being "wacky," so I locked him up down in the first basement level. I'll take care of him when I get back. I'm kind of worried about the wall. I actually called Devi and asked her to take care of it for me, but she hung up. I finally talked her weird friend Tenna into doing it. We're gonna leave now, gotta take a bus to the 24-7.
Tuesday, November 20th, 2001. 12:15 P.M.
Squee's entry: Dear Journal,
Me and Johnny are on a bus right now to the 24-7. I watched him write in his diary earlier, but I don't see how anyone could read that chicken scratch. When Johnny brought me over earlier, he offered me some crumbs of something, but since I'm not sure I really trust him, I told him I already ate. I kept hearing some weird shrieking noise while I was waiting for Johnny to get ready. I think there's a monster under his house. He really scares me.
Love,
Todd
Tuesday, November 20th, 2001. 12:15 P.M.
Kris's entry:
Well, I'm getting ready for the trip. I'm done packing and am getting ready to go. I can't believe we're actually going to drive across the U.S. … I think I need a Brain Freezy. Anyway, Nny called earlier to confirm the rendezvous point, inform me that he was bringing Squee, and reminded me to bring my toothbrush. I think I'm going to bring a gun too… Wait, how the hell does he pay his phone bill?
Tuesday, November 20th, 2001. 12:20 P.M.
Blair's entry:
Damn Ritz bag… Won't open. Driving across the U.S. is going to make me more insane than I already am. If Gir sings the Doom Song I'll chop his head off… or give him a taco. Yeah… I'll give him a taco. Dib says he'll refrain from putting Zim on an autopsy table just for the road trip. I believed him until I heard metal on metal. The lady beside me is starting to drool on my arm. Must… wipe… ewww…
Tuesday, November 20th, 2001. 12:20 P.M.
Dib's entry: Dear Swollen Eye-Balls,
Today I will have the perfect chance to prove to the world that Zim is an alien. He will be on a table before we get to the 10th state. I told Blair I was going to be nice to Zim for this trip. I hope she didn't hear the clanking of my alien hunting gear. This Nny she's been talking about might get in my way. He might just… kill me before I trap Zim. Then I would be a failure to Dad, and Gaz would kill me for drinking the last soda, and I wouldn't be on the show anymore and.. Oh, owww… My head hurts.
Tuesday, November 20th, 2001. 12:23 P.M.
Zim's entry: Computer,
Today, I am to embark on a journey across the United States with a few.. acquaintances. I am very hesitant to go on this trip, as Dib is going as well. I've loaded down my pack with a number of tools and weapons, just in case the disgusting worm-baby tries to pull something. Gir and I are getting ready to proceed to the meeting spot, a small convenience store not far from the base. I am dreading the awful bus ride over.. Perhaps I can convince Gir into just walking. Kris has been speaking of one of the others coming along, a man named Nny. This "Nny" character doesn't sound any too friendly. I-- No, Gir! Get away from that!! GIR! GIIIIR!!!!
--MALFUNCTION--
Tuesday, November 20th, 2001. 12:25 P.M.
Gir's entry: Deeaar DIARY!!
HII! Me and Master are gonna go on a trip with some people! Right now he's yelling at me for playin' with his knobby-toy thingies. Oh well. I got a suitcase! I put a piggy in it, and some Acne Blast, and a muffin, and a taco. It's still pretty empty, so I think I'll put in some egg salad before we leave. Master's diary is really pretty! It's got all these buttons and shiny things…! But he wouldn't share, not even when I gave him a slice of my pizza.. Oh well. I got aaall these fun songs planned for our trip! It's gonna be so much fuuun! WHOO!