Transient White
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek or any of its characters. This is all written for non-commercial remembrance.
This story was not proofread by my beta. So any mistakes made are my sole responsibility. An author's note can be found below.
The trading post on Karissia Prime was located in the northern hemisphere, and Captain Archer, being in a generous mood, had invited his senior staff for a trip to the foot of the mountain ranges just east of the city. It was snowing lightly as the shuttle pod set down on the white planes.
The hatch opened, and out spilled Trip and Travis, laughing and running for the nearest snow bank, gathering ammunition in their arms as they went. T'Pol emerged from the 'pod with more dignity, a scanner in her hand. Right behind her was a smiling Malcolm, gazing with wonder out at the snowflakes drifting down lazily. Doctor Phlox had decided to remain onboard Enterprise, saying he had an important medical paper to finish, and wishing them a great time.
Inside, Archer was powering down the shuttle pod's main systems. As he turned around to climb out after his crew, he noticed Hoshi still sitting at the back. He took a step toward her. "Hoshi?"
She looked up at him. Archer noticed the tears in her eyes. His features softened as he knelt by her side. "You are thinking about Akiyo." It was not a question.
----
My dearest Hoshi-san,
It is with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes, that I write you this letter. Two days ago, your nephew Akiyo got very ill. Sandra and Yasuo rushed him to the hospital, but the doctors could not do anything for our little boy. He died that night in the arms of his parents.
----
Hoshi nodded while brushing away a fallen tear that she had tried so hard to contain during their flight down. Earlier, she had joked with the others, laughing at Trip and Malcolm arguing over how best to enjoy their time in the snow. Even T'Pol had put in her two cents, informing them that the ice crystals on this planet did not have the same substance as on earth, and therefore the definition of it being snow, debatable. But as the others started filing out of the shuttlecraft, her thoughts had once again centred on the situation back home.
"I know it's been some time now," she began, but he interrupted her.
"That doesn't make it any easier…"
She nodded, smiling at the concern evident in his voice. "I know that, sir. What I meant to say is, receiving this news so far away from home has made it easier and more difficult at the same time."
Hoshi wrapped her arms tightly around herself, and then continued, "It's different because I'm not directly confronted with the situation. I have my work, and friends, to distract me from the sad news." She looked down at her lap. "But it also means I can't be with my family, supporting them in this difficult time."
Sorrow started to overwhelm her again, and she bit her lip, fighting to maintain her self-control. She did not want to break down in front of her captain, but only succeeded partially. Her voice heavy with emotion, she admitted the guilt that had been foremost in her thoughts. "I couldn't personally say goodbye to Akiyo. Tell him how much I loved him."
----
I know this will come as a shock to you, as it did to us. I remember you were very close with Akiyo, and even though the time you spent together was brief, I could feel the special bond that had grown between you. You were so proud when he said your name before he learned to say 'papa'! You pronounced he would become a great linguist someday.
----
It took a moment before she regained her composure. Archer didn't say anything, but patted her knee in consolation. She was grateful for his silence.
Hoshi took a deep breath, and then went on, "I will never see him grow up to be a man, hear him talk with passion about his hobbies or work." She laughed in spite of herself. "I won't be able to tease him about the many girls that would be pining after him." She wiped tears away. "I was so proud of him."
"You must have been a wonderful aunt," Archer said kindly.
She hesitated a moment, then looked at Archer, who had unwittingly become her confidant. "I never saw myself as a mother, raising children. And being in Starfleet, I did not give it much thought. But Akiyo touched something, a part of me that I did not know existed." She closed her eyes as she thought of her family. "Yasuo and Sandra will miss him so much." Then she opened her eyes again, this time more calm and collected. "I do know that Sandra and her family are devout Christians. I'm grateful for that. It will help them deal with this."
----
"These are very difficult times for our family, and for Sandra and Yasuo especially. Losing their first-born like this. But Sandra is strong. What great faith this woman has! She is hopeful that she will see her son again. And I sincerely wish it to be so."
----
They were interrupted in their musings as Malcolm suddenly appeared in the doorway.
"Captain?" he asked, probably wondering what was taking them so long. Then Malcolm's curiosity turned into surprise as he noticed Hoshi's tearstained cheeks. He flustered, murmured an apology, and disappeared again.
----
Musume yo, I am so sorry you won't be at the funeral. The whole family is in deep mourning. Know that your father and I are thinking of you.
All my love,
Mama
----
Even though Archer looked like he was ready to stay kneeling for another hour, Hoshi thought he had acted beyond the call of duty, and she did not want to take away anymore of his leisure time.
"I'll… be alright, sir." She tried to smile at him. "It will take some time, though." She got to her feet, wiping away the last remnants of tears.
Archer looked at her, than held out his arms, not seeming to care for protocol at the moment, and Hoshi stepped into his embrace with a laugh. "Thank you," she whispered.
----
Malcolm stood a few feet away from the shuttle pod, his eyes downcast, as snowflakes drifted down on his hair and shoulders. He looked up as the captain climbed out on the white, powdery ground. He walked closer to the 'pod, as Archer helped Hoshi get down as well.
As she turned around, Malcolm faced her, unsure of what to say. "Hoshi, I'm sorry. I…I wish there was something I could do to help."
Hoshi was touched, understanding that this was not easy for Malcolm, who normally kept a stiff upper lip. She gave him a smile and took his arm, giving it a little squeeze. "I'll be okay," she said softly, putting all the emotions she felt so deeply into those words.
She looked at Archer, who gave her an encouraging nod, then out at her surroundings, where the snow-covered mountains looked alien and strangely familiar at the same time. Through the feathery snowflakes that gently came down around her, it was as if time had stopped, and all of them were captured in a giant snow globe. Nothing could hurt her here, and there was no place for tears. The silence felt like a warm blanket.
Then Trip's voice floated over the plains. "Who wants to help me turn Travis into a snowman?"
That broke the spell, and laughter rose up from Hoshi as she led her guardians out into their little world.
A/N: This story was written in memory of my cat Milo, my own little snowflake, which died last week. He was not even six months old.
I do not wish to impress on readers that losing a pet is the same as losing a child. Nonetheless, I will miss him dearly. I also believe that someday, we will meet our loved ones again.
Musume yo, Japanese for 'my daughter'