Tea Party by blackdragonflower
Summary: Mello comes back from a chocolate run to find all of his mafia members drunk, and high. Chaos insues, along with hilarity that Mello doesn't know how to put up with. And what about Matt? Matt is safely tucked away playing videogames, not apart of this wierdness. Poor Mello is dragged into a 'tea' party. What the hell is the tea?
Characters belong to Death Note by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata
Warnings: Swearing, drug references
A/N: Written in Mellos POV.
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What did I ever do to deserve this? Men, strewn around the floor, giggling. They were higher then the birds. I come back from a chocolate run for this? Dear God, what the hell is all this? Glasses are strewn around the place, knocked to the side. Vodka is tipped over, but thankfully, none is spilled since it hasn't been opened yet. One of the 'saner' men gets up.
"Oh hey Mells! Wanna join us for our tea party?"
... Tea Party. What. The. FUCK! I was tempted to just turn around and walk out but, I had to make sure none of them had touched where I stashed my chocolate, and to make sure they didn't accidently spill information to anyone in their stupor. "I'm fine..." I growl, "Have your tea party without me..." Another member, giggling still, grabbed my arm and pulled me to the table where the others were getting situated. Once I snarled he let my arm go, but it was too late, I'd be forcefully entered into this, shudder, tea party.
The gang boss' girlfriend, had somehow managed to unscrew the top of the bottle and start pouring glasses. Despite the fact that she was high, she poured them pretty damn well, not too much mess. "To Mells!" One of them slurred holding up his glass with a loose grip.
"It's sparkly..." I wanted to slam my head on the table. The light had shone through the glass in just the perfect way to make the vodka sparkle. Ah, if this was any other day I'd say beautiful, but this was not any other day. I had to last through a chorus of "oohs" and "ahs", and I was very tempted to pull out my gun. Maybe a little sip of vodka will calm my nerves...
I lifted the glass and took a sip, I couldn't afford to get drunk. The vodka just, tasted so good though and soon I was chugging the whole glass. It was gone way too fast. Before I could steal someone else's glass I ripped a chocolate bar from my pocket. Quickly I unwrapped the foil and threw it on the table. Their attention snapped there. "This one's sparklier!"
"Ooo! Pretties!"
Bloody hell. God, save me please. The chocolate was serving to calm me down a bit, but not much. It was nice though, mmm, chocolate. Thank you God for chocolate!
"Mello? Can we have some choco-late?" They all gave me begging glances that were fit for a five year old. It was disturbing. I could just feel my eyebrow twitch.
"My chocolate?"
"Yeah!" They all started inching closer. They definately had to be drunk, and high if they were asking me for my chocolate.
"NO!"
"But... why not?" Another giggled. Jack, or Cal Syndar, was dancing around in a circle, his glasses crooked on the bridge of his nose. He spiraled his way over and leaned on my shoulder. My nose wrinkled at the smell of his breath. I jolted away from all of them and pulled my trusty gun from it location in my pants. It was drifting from head to head, my finger on the trigger.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE?!"
"Mello..."
"We're your buddies!" They were singing now... No, why singing? My hands flew to my ears, despite the gun in my right hand, to cover them from the sound of screeching cats and dogs.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I wanted to recoil from the room, slink away and hide. They began to dance together, like children, playing ring around the rosie. I had my back pinned to the wall, my hand shaking as it held the gun. There singing varied, it went from loud to soft, then returned to loud again. I picked up my cell phone and hurridly dialed Matt's number.
"Hello?"
"Matt... it's me Mello..."
"Yeah?" The sound of videogames in the backround was beeping.
"Get off your videogames and come help me..."
"From what? A whore stalking you again or did you loose Mr. Snookums?"
"NO and SHUT UP about that! All the mafia members here are high and dr-" The phone clicked off. I cussed. "Dammit Matt, you better hope I never get home cuz when I do..."
"Mommy's mad!!!"
"OOO! Someone made mommy mad!"
"Mommy?!" I yelled, now this was going too far. "I'm NOT your fuckn mommy! I'm a male you fuckn drunk bastards..."
They all got hurt looks on their faces except for the few who pouted like small kids. Ah, somebody help me!
"Mommy read us story?" I twitched.
"Story?"
"Yeah! A bedtime story! Since mommy ruined tea party..." I am now offically scared, for life.
"What, kind of story?"
"One about mommy!" They pulled me back onto the couch and huddled around like kindergarteners.
"Well, that is the story I know best..." I mused. One ran and got me a chocolate bar, yes, I might be able to get use to this...
"Well?"
"Well? Let me tell the story!" I snapped. They instantly hushed. "My name is Mello. I grew up in a place far away as a very attractive male. I don't have a mom or dad..."
"Oh noes! Mommy doesn't have a mommy or daddy!"
"Oh no!"
"Mommy needs a hug!"
Oh my... Somebody help me please!!! I immediately put my hands up in defense. "No! Mommy doesn't want a hug! He's just fine."
"Oh..." They all looked at the floor bummed. Then Cal pipped up,
"Is there more to the story?"
"Of course!" I rolled my eyes and bit into my chocolate bar. "Mmm... I grew up far away and I ran away when I was about fifteen. I left behind a good friend and eventually ended up here with all of you. Since then I've been leading you guys to capture Kira and restore us to the top where we belong." 'Actually where I belong. I have to beat Near.'
"Is that the end of the story?"
"Yup."
"Oh, that was..."
"Awsome! Mommy you're so great!"
"I am..." I smirked. "Now, off to bed!"
"Yes mommy..." they pouted and went to lounging wherever they could lay comfortable. Some lounged in chairs, others on the couch. I dimmed the lights, and I was having trouble holding in a snicker. As funny as this all was... never again, absolutely never. I licked the corner of the chocolate bar watching them all carefully to see if anything was amiss. The phones were on the hook, the computers showed no signs of being tampered with, the security was still running fine. I sighed, I'd have to spend the night here, to make sure nothing else happened. I grabbed a vodka glass from the table and took a drink, as it had only been sipped. I pushed Cal off the couch and lounged back. I yawned, mouth stretching wide. I finished off the chocolate bar then closed my eyes. How the hell did this happen? Boy, that ws some tea party.