A/n- continuation of posting my old stories. Enjoy!
For The Love Of A Daughter
Four years old with my back to the door All I could hear was the family war Your selfish hands always expecting more Am I your child or just a charity award?
You have a hollowed out heart But it's heavy in your chest I try so hard to fight it but it's hopeless Hopeless, you're hopeless
"Hey, Kim, everything ok? You seem kind of upset or something?" Jack asks me, as we walk towards the local park, taking a seat on the small wooden bench, I suppose to talk.
"yea, I'm fine, I've just been dealing with things with my father." I reply, with disdain evident in my voice.
"well, is it ok? Is he like, hurting you or something? I'm sorry for asking questions, you don't have to answer them, I'm just worried about you kimmy." he asks more question, but I could feel the concern in his voice.
"no, it's fine, I guess it's about time to get this off my chest."
13 years earlier
My parents were fighting again, and I was terrified again, but this fight was different, very different.
"what! You just run off, leaving your family here, you selfish bitch!" my father yells at my mother, aggressively.
"no, I'm running from you, you abusive bastard" SLAP! "just- le- let me leave! Let me take kim with, and you won't have to w-worry about us ever again, we will just leave you alone!" she yells back with her scratchy voice.
"oh, I don't think so, your staying her with me, forever. And so is your piece of shit daughter!" he slurred back to her, a type of voice that made goose bumps run down my spine.
"Good bye! I will be back for kim when I find a stable place for us to live, don't expect it to be too long!" she yells, as I hear her stomp towards the door. I hear a drawer open, and slam shut and clicking.
"I said, your-" BANG! BANG! "not going anywhere, bitch" I heard him spat after the two loud shots were her. After he finished, I heard the door to the house slam. As I ran out to the scene. As soon as I saw what I saw, I dropped to my knees in tears, next to my dead, no, murdered mother.
"mommy" I whimpered out, as I put my hands on her bloody chest "no! mommy, please, please, no!" I screamed out, but it was like I was 6 feet under and no one in the world could hear me. I was alone.
I ran to the kitchen and picked up the phone pushing the buttons, no one thinks they'll use, until some thing actually happens. "hello, please, please help me!" I yelled into the phone, "something happened to my mommy, please help me, I don't know my address!" I continue.
"Kimberly!" I hear that old, scratchy voice. As I drop the phone, he comes stomping. "if ANYONE asks you what happened, I had nothing to do with that sorry excuse of a mother, you hear me! Or you will end up the same way!" he spats in my face, slapping me, as the sounds of sirens echo around the room.
***end of flashback***
By the end of my story I had tear drops in my eyes, streaming down my cheeks, as jacks strong had wiped them away, I just tucked my legs to me and leaned onto jack, "oh, kimmy, I know nothing I can possibly say or do will make any of that better, or bring her back, but just know that I'm here for you, and that Is never going to change" jack exclaims as he smiles at me.
Oh, father, please, father I'd love to leave you alone But I can't let you go Oh, father, please, father Put the bottle down For the love of a daughter Oh
"ever since then my father had beat me, almost everyday, I cant remember the last time I've seen him sober, or at least half way sober" I stutter, all the terrible memories coming back to me.
"kim, you don't have to continue if you don't want to" jack stops me, but I shake my head and continue, at least with a part of it.
"I don't know what's wrong with me. I know every inch of my bones should hate the man who killed my mothers, guts. But I don't. my body hates him, and my mind hates him, but there's still a sliver in my heart that loves him, and has hope that this has all been an entire dream except for meeting you and the guys. I still love a murderer. I must be fucking crazy!" I speak, my words getting stronger by the second.
It's been five years since we've spoken last And you can't take back What we never had Oh, I can be manipulated Only so many times, Before even "I love you" Starts to sound like a lie
You have a hollowed out heart But it's heavy in your chest I try so hard to fight it but it's hopeless Hopeless, you're hopeless
5 years later
"hey kim, how long has it been, since you've talked to your father?" jack, or should I say my fiancé, asked me, as he wrapped an arm around me lovingly.
I looked over, and raised an eye brow towards him, "um, 5 years, I think." I reply, looking away. I feel bad, jack has always tried to get me to talk to my father, I just don't think I need to, for all the stuff he has put me through, I have another man that loves me now.
"I think you should go talk to him, I'll go with you if you want. I just think that with us getting married, you should give him just, a chance, to come, you know? You don't have to though, I just think it'll be a good idea, that's all" jack tries to convince me, I debate on it for a minute or two before I stand up, dragging jack with me.
"wait, where are we going?" he asks, as I pull him out the door "to see my dad." I state, "what?! Now?!" he exclaims as we get into the car, pulling out of the driveway.
"Now."
***Time Skip- to her dads house***
We pull into my old driveway, the place I haven't been in 5 years, but it's like nothing changed. it's still that old, dingy blue, that is slightly greyer by age, the porch is still on the edge of falling off, but all this time it has stayed faithful to us. Nothing has changed.
"you ready kimmy?" jack asks me, walking around towards the front of the car, grabbing my hand, as I nod. And we take the first step onto the old creaky stairs. I bring my hand up to knock on the old, grey door. Not a minute later, the door slams open.
"what do you- oh it's just you" he slithers, in that same scratchy voice, just added some grey hair to the mix. "what the hell do you want?! if you want money, I don't have any, so just leave, now!" he yells at me, slightly making me flinch. I didn't used to flinch, I guess I'm just not used to his voice by now.
"I'm not here to ask for money." I begin, as I step to the side and walk through the doorway to take view of the still very messy house, I go to start talking again, but I'm just astonished by the sight before me, jack gives my hand a small squeeze of assurance, and I give him a small nod back. "I just wanted to see how you were doing, it's been awhile" I turned around to my father, to give him a small smile "and to ask if you would like to join us…. At mine and jacks wedding" I finish, my voice getting slightly shaky.
"oh, how sweet my little kimmy is getting married" SLAP! "fuck no I don't want to go to no god damn wedding, your not even acting like my daughter" (AN yes my father actually told me that) he slithers out. As he goes to slap me again, but jack catches it.
"what kind of pathetic excuse of a father, hits his own daughter, his own flesh and blood. For that matter, what kind of sorry excuse of a man hit's a woman! You are just a wretched human being!" jack yells at my father, dropping his hand, standing in front of me. Protecting me.
"oh you're the… gentleman, marrying my Kimberly" my father slithers out. "you have no right to call her your daughter, when not 2 minutes ago you said she was not acting like your daughter" jack replied calmly, but you can hear the danger in his voice.
Oh, father, please, father I'd love to leave you alone But I can't let you go Oh, father, please, father Put the bottle down For the love of a daughter
After, my father threw a punch, catching jack off guard and hitting his stomach. "jack?!" I yell, moving in between my father and jack, to protect him from anything else my father does. But my father continues, he punches my stomach 2 or 3 times, then my face, as I fall to the ground by that time, jack had recovered, and stood up, picking me up with him. As I start to feel water run down my cheeks. I was crying. That's another thing that hasn't happened in years, not since I've been with jack, he has always taken care of me.
As I hear my dad screaming words at us, as jack walks out of the small house and to the car, I put my hands up to cover my ears, another thing I used to do when I was little, trying to save myself from all the hateful words my father has ever said to me.
Don't you remember I'm your baby girl? How could you push me out of your world, Lied to your flesh and your blood, Put your hands on the ones that you swore you loved? Don't you remember I'm your baby girl? How could you throw me right out of your world? So young when the pain had begun Now forever afraid of being loved
We finally make it home, as It begins to rain outside, jack get's out of the car, coming over to my side, opening my door, and picks me up, he takes his sweatshirt off and covers me with it, as we walk inside. He carries me up to our bedroom, and lays me down on the bed, as he walks to the other side and sits down.
"jack, I cant just let him go like this, I cant. Like I said 5 years ago, there is a sliver in my heart that still loves him. I just cant let him go" I cry, tears steadily streaming down my face.
"kim, I know you still love your dad, and trust me I'm not trying to bed the bad guy here, I want you to talk to him, I want you guys to have a relationship. I just don't think that he's safe for you, im only concerned for you. I mean, he said you weren't even his daughter anymore, what kind of father does that?" jack exclaims, and he's right, I know he's right. My father is not safe for me.
Oh, father, please, father I'd love to leave you alone But I can't let you go Oh, father, please, father
"jack, do you love me?" I ask him, I really want to know. Because right now, it feels like no one in the world loves me, no one in the world care, no one in the world can hear me!
"kim, you know-" jack starts, and I know he's going to start on some big long rant explaining things, but I needed an answer to this question, just yes or no.
"no jack, do you love me? Yes or no?" I ask again, looking into his eyes, trying to find the answer there.
"yes" jack states, and let a small smile peer on my lips, as I leaned over and kissed him tenderly, but passionately.
Oh, father, please, father Put the bottle down For the love of a daughter For the love of a daughter