Fancy Meeting You Here
This isn't going to work. Why'd I let that… kid get me and Chewie into this? I wasn't at all happy. Being stuck on about the biggest thing ever constructed by any sentient being wasn't so bad… or it wouldn't be if it weren't Imperial. Luke has me and Chewie headed for the detention center even now. Trying to rescue this princess of his, I shake my head. He's nuts. There's no two ways about it. There's no way this'll work.
"I can't see a thing in this helmet."
Well you should have thought about that before you stuck your life inside it. I have very little sympathy for Luke. He's young, he's brash and he's idealistic. Not a good combination if you want to live. I'll be one of the first to tell ya I'm brash, but I ain't stupid, and I definitely ain't idealistic. I don't go running into an Imperial detention center, not on my own. I only do stupid stuff like that when I've got this kid with me.
About time that turbolift got here. I push my partner in and wait for Luke to follow. A bureaucrat tries to board. I hold out my hand signaling that it's full, which is more or less the truth. You have a Wookie and two stormtrooper look-alikes and see if you can fit much more in a turbolift. At least comfortably.
"This is not going to work." Why'd I let him talk me into this? He's a fool. There's no two ways about it. I look around at the lift, hoping there aren't any cameras. I know there are.
"Why didn't you say so before?" Luke sounds slightly flustered as he checks the cuffs on Chewie.
"I did say so before!" I snap back. Jeez, don't ya have any kind of memory kid? I realize I'm getting more and more nervous. That's because I know about the Imp's from the inside. I was one.
I feel the turbolift stop. Finally. Now we can get this farce done with. I only hope we survive.
As the doors open I get a look at the room. There's a ton of automatic weapons, not to mention the officer and the three real stormtroopers. At least they're not the five-oh-first. I guess I should be thankful for small favors.
The officer looks at us, and finally says, "Where are you taking this...thing?"
I hear Chewie start growling a bit. Not yet Chewie… please don't blow this yet.
"Prisoner transfer from Block one-one-three-eight." Luke chirps in.
Great… how do you even know there is a block one-one whatever? I consider crossing my fingers, but realize how unlikely it is that I can even do that in these stupid gloves. I hate stormtroopers. I hate they're armor more.
"I wasn't notified. I'll have to clear it." The officer looks at us again and then heads back to his computer to check the records.
Wonderful. Guess now's as good a time as any. I undo one of Chewies restraints, look at Luke and shrug. I only hope we aren't all dead in the next few seconds.
Chewie grabs my blaster rifle and starts howling up a storm. Nothing new there. I chuckle as I reach for my blaster pistol. I notice Luke doing the same. Thankfully the guards are caught completely off guard.
"Look out! He's loose!" I yell to add to the burgeoning havoc.
"He's going to pull us all apart." I almost laugh out loud at this. If only you knew kid…
"Go get him!" I start blasting at where Chewie is, Luke doing the same. It looks like we have the big lug in a crossfire. In reality we're taking out all of the automated weapons, cameras and the few guards. Chewie looks completely bewildered.
Finally shooting the officer I head for the console, hoping to find the stupid alarm controls that he hit as he crumpled over the console. I don't need a headache on top of all this. I hear the Com squawking questions. Looking at the computer readout as quickly as I can, "We've got to find out which cell this princess of yours is in."
After what feels like an eternity, "Here it is...cell twenty-one-eight-seven. You go get her. I'll hold 'em here." Sure I will, I can handle however many thousand troops they have here. Not to mention Vader.
Luke tears off down the hall.
Finally paying attention to the com I tear off my helmet and say, "Everything is under control. Situation normal." I'm trying to sound as confident as I can. Great job solo, you just blew whatever shot for an award you might have had. I roll my eyes.
"What happened?" Of course, about the most obvious question. Really the only one they could ask.
How'm I gonna explain this to an imperial office? They have no sense of humor, and you can't hardly bluff 'em with something like this. I say the first thing that comes to mind. "Uh...had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?"
Great job you idiot! Now they're sure to send more people. I wish I could bang my head on something, or Luke's at least.
"We're sending a squad up."
Yep, you sure can call 'em. Why couldn't I have been wrong? Just this once. I fumble for an answer. "Uh, uh, negative. We had a reactor leak here now. Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Large leak...very dangerous." That'll deter 'em. Like hell it will.
"Who is this? What's your operating number?"
Finally getting exasperated I blast the thing. "Boring conversation anyway…"
Turing down the hall I call out, "Luke! We're gonna have company!" I turn back and start trying to figure out how Chewie and I'll hold this place. I look around and grab a blaster rifle from one of the fallen troopers.
"Get over there behind that and maybe we can get 'em before they actually come through the door." I point over to one wall that joins to a console, and duck down behind one directly in front of the door. The entrance to the cell block behind and between us.
Don't you just love having to wait in this kinda situation? As the seconds pass my mind stays surprisingly blank. I guess I'm more focused than I think. Either that or so scared my mind won't work. Either one I'm rather thankful for it.
Suddenly there's a growling noise coming from the other side of the door. Oh crap… "Chewie!"
I hear Chewie growl back at me. "Get behind me! Get behind me!"
He does, and I duck behind the console for a second, until the door blows open. Through the smoke I blast the first thing I see, and the bolt bounces off. Thankfully I hit with the next couple, and they stop trying to get through for a moment.
Grabbing Chewie's arm we run down the hall, and…
There she is. The spoiled royal brat that got us in this mess in the first place. "Can't get out that way."
She looks indignant and disbelieving. "Looks like you managed to cut off our only escape route."
Of all the… I growl out, "Maybe you'd like it back in your cell, Your Highness." in about as biting a manner as I can. It's not very right then as I'm ducking behind a support trying not to get shot.
"Threepio! Threepio!" I hear Luke yelling, obviously into his comlink.
"Yes sir?"
I continue firing threw the following conversation:
"We've been cut off! Are there any other ways out of the detention are?...What was that? I didn't copy!" If there aren't this is going to be one of the worst rescues of all time…
"I said, all systems have been alerted to your presence, sir. The main entrance seems to be the only way in or out; all other information on your level is restricted." Frell! This just keeps getting better and better. Thanks kid, I really owe you for this one. I blast a trooper in the head.
"There isn't any other way out." Yea, I heard what your droid said kid.
"I can't hold them off forever! Now what?"
I hear the Princess say something, though it's not very constructive. "This is some rescue. When you came in here, didn't you have a plan for getting out?" Oh how I'd love to just choke her…
I point to Luke, "He's the brains, sweetheart."
I can't look, but hear Luke respond, "Well, I didn't..." in about as sheepish a tone as a person can manage. No kid, you really did this time. But what you didn't do was think.
I see the princess grab Luke's blaster, point it at a wall grate and blast it, singeing me quite thoroughly in the process. Why that dirty- I oughtta leave her here for that. I grit my teeth at the burning in my side. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Somebody has to save our skins. Into the garbage chute, fly boy." Oh you sure are high and mighty… Just wait till you're on my ship sweetheart… Just you wait.
Chewie starts to follow but then looks at me, howling about something. Shut up you big lug! Get down there before you get us both killed! "Get in there you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!"
I step behind him and give him a boot, and hear him howling the whole way down. Serves ya right. I glance at Luke, "Wonderful girl! Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her." I seriously doubt it's the latter. "Get in there!"
Luke scampers over, nearly double to avoid the blaster fire and jumps in. Great, that just leaves me. I step out and send as many bolts as I can down the hall then jump head first into the grate.
As I tumble down the chute the smell actually hits me. This isn't going to end well. I've got a bad feeling about this…