KidsWBYungsta Presents Looney Tunes & Sailor Moon: Sailor Space Jam!
Summary: A Looney Tunes and Sailor Moon crossover in honor of Space Jam's 20th anniversary. 20 years after the Ultimate Game between the Tune Squad and the Monstars, things have been running smoothly for the Looney Tunes and the WB cartoon stars until they get the word that Swackhammer is back for revenge … with a new basketball team in tow! Initially, Bugs Bunny plans on calling Michael Jordan to help them deal with this challenge, but Michael recommends a certain basketball superstar to help the Tunes due to his retirement. While the Tunes are dealing with this dilemma, the Sailor Guardians find themselves teaming up with the Warner Bros. cartoon characters to play with them for the Ultimate Game!
Looney Tunes, Animaniacs, Tiny Toons and Space Jam © Warner Bros. Animation
Sailor Moon © Naoko Takeuchi and Toei Animation
Any other cartoon characters who appear are under the ownership of Warner Bros. Animation.
KidsWBYungsta Presents Looney Tunes & Sailor Moon: Sailor Space Jam! Story Synopsis
KidsWBYungsta Presents Looney Tunes & Sailor Moon: Sailor Space Jam!
A/N: It feels like a long time since I last wrote any fanfiction on this site, so here's a different take on my usual Space Jam-themed fanfics. The Monstars are still the reformed villains, but they will play a minor role in this story as Swackhammer has a new intergalactic basketball team in tow, who turns out to be the Witches 5 from Sailor Moon! Taking a cue from the recent series of Space Jam-inspired commercials from Jordan Brand ("What's Up Sports: Hare Jordan Is Back", "The Dunk to End All Dunks", "Monstars Back", "Monstars Highlights", "Defy the Monstars"), I've decided to utilize certain elements from said commercials in this modern spin on the classic Space Jam movie, which should lead to an interesting experience for all things considered. Anyway, as mentioned earlier, Swackhammer recruits Kaolinite and the Witches 5 to serve as his new intergalactic basketball superteam with the hopes that they could easily capture the Looney Tunes characters without a hitch. However, once the Sailor Guardians arrive and team up with the Tunes, Bugs decides to take up their challenge for a new basketball competition. However, the girls decide to even the score by stealing the talent from five NBA players, so Bugs tries to call Michael Jordan, but Michael recommends a certain basketball star to help the Tunes and the Sailor Guardians with this challenge …
Synopsis: Set 20 years after the original Space Jam, the Looney Tunes and WB's stable of other notable cartoon luminaries have some major problems on their hands once they get word that Swackhammer is back for revenge and the Witches 5 is going to step up as his new intergalactic basketball superteam! However, in order to solidify that status, the girls end up stealing the talent from five of the NBA's biggest stars at the time: LeBron James, Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, LaMarcus Aldridge and Blake Griffin. The Tunes try to even the playing field by getting the Sailor Guardians, but once they realize what trouble they are in, Bugs Bunny decides to call Michael Jordan with the hopes he could help the Tunes again. Michael Jordan is unable to return to his basketball-playing self from 20 years earlier, but he does recommend a certain basketball star who can help the Tunes and the Sailor Guardians with the biggest basketball game in the Animation Multiverse!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Looney Tunes or Sailor Moon characters who appear in this story. Also, the story will be set in 2016, 20 years after the release of the original Space Jam.
Dedication: A tip of the hat to NBA legend Michael Jordan, Bugs Bunny as his Jordan Brand alter-ego, Hare Jordan, and the 20th anniversary of the 1996 Warner Bros. film, Space Jam.
KidsWBYungsta Presents Looney Tunes & Sailor Moon: Sailor Space Jam! – Chp. 01: The Return of the Witches 5
KidsWBYungsta Presents Looney Tunes & Sailor Moon: Sailor Space Jam! – Chp. 01: "The Return of the Witches 5"
KidsWBYungsta Presents Looney Tunes & Sailor Moon: Sailor Space Jam! – Prologue: "Welcome Back, Hare Jordan!: 20 Years of Space Jam"
Location: Bugs Bunny's Mansion – Looney Tune Land, Animation Multiverse
At the start of this story, Bugs Bunny was busy doing some push-ups as the camera was panning around for a bit before it actually focused on Bugs. While Bugs was performing the push-ups, he was saying to himself, "1,001, 1,002, 1,003, 1,004 … 1,005—and this one's for you, Lola—1,006!"
However, he was stopped by an off-screen voice, who whispered to the rabbit, "Psst! Hey, Bugs, you're on!"
Bugs quickly stopped in his tracks and switched into his Hare Jordan uniform as he slid into his movie star chair and said while raising up his sunglasses, "Oh, what's up, docs and doctresses? I didn't see you all there!"
Bugs pulled up a basketball and said to the audience, "Well, as you folks might know, 20 years ago, my Looney Tunes colleagues and I starred in a Warner Bros. film titled Space Jam, which had us team up with the legendary Michael Jordan. Honestly, I had no idea how the film would do with the public nor did I know how it would impact our popularity in pop culture. To my surprise, it actually did very well, even amongst the mixed critical reception—hey, what can I say? You can't please 'em all, you know?"
Bugs walked into a trophy room where he stopped near the trophy that came from winning the Ultimate Game in the original Space Jam during 1996, saying, "Anyway, there was always talks of doing a sequel since the success of the original, but there were some creative differences within the Warner staff with a variety of ideas being thrown around—a sequel that would've had Michael Jordan returning to help us with a new basketball competition against the villainous Berserk-O!, who would be accompanied by his henchmen, O!-Yes and O!-No … whoever those characters were; Tiger Woods being the headlining star in the original plans for a sequel that would've featured Michael Jordan in a special cameo role or a minor role; a spy version of the film titled Spy Jam, which would've featured famed martial artist Jackie Chan, which would have coincided with his successful Jackie Chan Adventures animated series that aired at that time on Kids' WB; heck, there were even plans to create a race-themed version of Space Jam that would've been titled Race Jam and it would have featured then-racing superstar—scratch that, megastar Jeff Gordon—but, after a while, they just left the idea of a sequel alone and decided to focus on Looney Tunes: Back in Action, which would eventually be released in November 2003 … I think you all know how that story ended for us Tunes, doc."
"For a while after that, things have been relatively quiet for the Looney Tunes at large, silencing talks for a Space Jam sequel for what felt like a decade and a half. However, due to a boost of the film's popularity in this decade with recent reruns of the movie on Cartoon Network, VH1, MTV, HBO, TeenNick and even BET—even though I still question why it took them so long to even air the movie on their lineup; a revival of my Hare Jordan campaign with Nike and Jordan Brand; a theatrical re-release of the movie in honor of its 20th anniversary; heck, with even the Monstars are getting back in the worldwide spotlight for Jordan Brand's Monstars Back promotional campaign, people have started to speculate on an actual sequel being produced in the future! Of course, with the renewed interest of the movie and its heightened popularity in recent times, the talks of a Space Jam sequel started flaring up again!" Bugs explained as he walked through his Wall of Fame. "Based on some recent talks with the executives at Warner Bros. and their Warner Animation Group division, I hear they are going to get LeBron James to serve as the headlining star to fill in the role of Michael Jordan."
Bugs smirked at the thought for a moment, then said, "Eh, I don't mind that combination, but I can't say if it will still have the charm of the original or not. I hope it will, at the very least, serve as a successful relaunch for the Looney Tunes in pop culture … especially after what happened with the troubled production of Looney Tunes: Back in Action."
Bugs eventually walked into a movie theatre and said, "However, with all of the Space Jam hype occurring over the past few years, the Tunes and I found ourselves at the mercy of Swackhammer again. Y'see, he apparently recruited this group of girls who are known as the Witches 5, who were rivals of Sailor Moon during the third season of her show—or, more specifically, the Death Busters arc of her manga series. Apparently, Swackhammer recruited them to serve as his new intergalactic basketball superteam—hoping that they would improve where the Nerdlucks, or Monstars as they were in the original Ultimate Game, failed at 20 years earlier—but the Sailor Guardians stepped in to help us wipe the floor with those girls in this new intergalactic basketball tournament, which I thought would've been an easy win, but that was because I assumed these girls wouldn't resort to the same trickery the Nerdlucks had up their sleeves. However, I was proven wrong because those girls stole the talent from five of the NBA's biggest players and they became more overpowered than usual … if that was even possible! Seeing how dire the situation seemed at the time, I was going to call up Michael Jordan and see if he could help us deal with these characters. However, there was one problem with that: Michael had already retired and—seeing as how he's already in his 50's—he feels as though he is way past his prime to revive the glory days. From that point on, all hope seemed to be lost for us Tunes and Sailor Guardians …"
The lights started to dim as the movie started to play and Bugs said, "… however, Michael did give us the name of a certain basketball superstar who could help us out with this rematch of the Ultimate Game! Who is that basketball superstar? Well, let's watch, folks!"
KidsWBYungsta Proudly Presents:
Looney Tunes & Sailor Moon: Sailor Space Jam!
Based on the 1996 Warner Bros. film,
Space Jam (directed by Joe Pytka and produced by Ivan Reitman)
Starring the Voice Talents of:
Billy West as Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd
Dee Bradley Baker as Daffy Duck, Taz the Tasmanian Devil, the Road Runner and Toro the Bull
Kath Soucie as Lola Bunny and Fifi La Fume
Candi Milo as Granny and Witch Hazel
Jeff Bergman as Foghorn Leghorn
Fred Tatasciore as Yosemite Sam
J.P. Karliak as Wile E. Coyote
Phil LaMarr as Speedy Gonzales
Eric Bauza as Marvin the Martian
Bill Farmer as Sylvester J. Pussycat
Bob Bergen as Porky Pig, Tweety, Hubie & Bertie and Chester the Terrier
Jessica DiCicco as Penelope Pussycat
René Auberjonois as Pepé Le Pew
Rob Paulsen as Yakko Warner and Pinky
Jess Harnell as Wakko Warner and Roger Rabbit
Tress MacNeille as Dot Warner and Babs Bunny
Maurice LaMarche as The Brain
Sherri Stoner as Slappy Squirrel
Julie Brown as Minerva Mink
Charles Adler as Buster Bunny
Stephanie Sheh as Usagi Tsukino / Sailor Moon
Robbie Daymond as Mamoru Chiba / Tuxedo Mask
Sandy Fox as Usagi "Chibi-Usa" Small Lady Serenity / Sailor Mini-Moon
Kate Higgins as Ami Mizuno / Sailor Mercury
Cristina "Cristina Vee" Valenzuela as Rei Hino / Sailor Mars
Amanda Celine Miller as Makoto Kino / Sailor Jupiter
Cherami Leigh as Minako Aino / Sailor Venus
Veronica Taylor as Setsuna Meioh / Sailor Pluto
Erica Mendez as Haruka Tenoh / Sailor Uranus
Lauren Landa as Michiru Kaioh / Sailor Neptune
Christine Marie Cabanos as Hotaru Tomoe / Sailor Saturn
Kimberly Brooks as Seiya Kou / Sailor Star Fighter
Kristinia DeBarge as Taiki Kou / Sailor Star Maker
Eileen Stevens as Yaten Kou / Sailor Star Healer
Michelle Ruff as Luna
Johnny Yong Bosch as Artemis
Keith Silverstein as Professor Souichi Tomoe
Christina Aguilera as Kaolinite
Erin Fitzgerald as Eudial
Kira Buckland as Mimete
Romi Dames as Tellu
Sabrina Carpenter as Viluy
Alejandra Reynoso as Cyprine and Ptilol
Eden Riegel as Koan
Janice Kawaye as Berthier
Cassandra Lee Morris as Calaveras
Ariana Grande as Petz
Danny DeVito as Mr. Swackhammer
Method Man as Zilchtastic
LL Cool J as Bupkazoid
Busta Rhymes as Busta Buss
Corey Charron as Blanked Out
Chris Tucker as Wild Sauce
Kevin Michael Richardson as MonStar Pound
Steve Kehela as MonStar Blanko
Thomas F. Wilson as MonStar Bang
Dorian Harewood as MonStar Bupkus
DC Young Fly as MonStar Nawt
Jocelyn Blue as Nerdluck Pound
Charity James as Nerdluck Blanko
Grey Griffin as Nerdluck Bang
Catherine Reitman as Nerdluck Bupkus
Victoria Justice as Nerdluck Nawt
Starring the Live-Action Talents of:
Michael "Air" Jordan as Air Jordan
Jimmy Butler as Jimmy G Buckets
Jennifer Lawrence as Jasmine Shay
Kanary Diamonds as Cleopatra Williams
Diggy Simmons as Freestyle Vibrations
Lil JJ as Darius Magnificent
Justina Valentine as Miranda Magnificent
Hitman Holla as Hitman Hollywood
DC Young Fly as Himself
Marlon Wayans as Himself
LeBron James as King James
Kevin Durant as KD
Russell Westbrook as Beastbrook
LaMarcus Aldridge as Sir SlamMarcus
Blake Griffin as High Griffinition
Stephen Curry as Sous Chef Curry
Kyrie Irving as Kyriediculous
J.R. Smith as J.R. Swish
Special Thanks to:
Warner Bros. Animation (the studio behind the original Looney Tunes and its spin-offs)
Bugs Bunny a.k.a. "Hare Jordan" (the world's most-beloved cartoon character and an iconic figure in animation)
Michael Jordan a.k.a "Air Jordan" (the greatest basketball player of all-time and an iconic figure in sports)
Jim Riswold (the man behind the iconic Hare Jordan-Air Jordan pairing)
Jordan Brand (Michael Jordan's famed sneaker company)
Joe Pytka (the original director of the Michael Jordan/Bugs Bunny commercials and Space Jam)
Ivan Reitman (the original producer of the original Space Jam)
Bruce W. Smith (one of the two animation co-directors of Space Jam)
David Falk and Ken Ross (the executive producers of Space Jam)
Spike Brandt and Tony Cervone (the supervising animator and animation co-director, respectively, of Space Jam)
Warner Bros. Feature Animation (the studio behind the original Space Jam)
Written and Directed by:
KidsWBYungsta
KidsWBYungsta Presents Looney Tunes & Sailor Moon: Sailor Space Jam! – Chapter 01: The Return of the Witches 5
Date: Monday, October 31, 2016 – Bugs Bunny's Mansion – Looney Tune Land, Animation Multiverse
The story officially begins in an area of the Animation Multiverse known as Looney Tune Land, home of the Looney Tunes and WB's stable of notable cartoon characters, where Bugs Bunny was busy honing up his basketball skills in his own basketball court that is inside his star-studded mansion. In the years following the Ultimate Game between the Tune Squad and the Monstars, Bugs decide to make sure his skills are even better the next time he runs into Swackhammer and his own basketball team. Suddenly, he heard the sounds of a construction site from outside his mansion, leading to the rabbit to turn to the audience and sarcastically say in a sotto aside, "I do believe that someone is trying to garner my attention."
Bugs left the basketball court and walked outside to see that Elmer Fudd had constructed an advanced rabbit-catching device, designed to get Bugs in its clutches, so Elmer could get himself some "wabbit stew". Bugs could only look at the contraption with subdued interest, impressed at the fact that the same hunter who was always fooled by Bugs' disguises managed to create a complex piece of machinery. Bugs smirked and said, "I gotta hand it to old Elmer, he has his moments where he does things that surprise even me."
Elmer was watching Bugs from afar, laughing to himself and saying, "At wast! I finally got that bwasted wabbit wight where I want him!"
Elmer was smiling with unbridled joy as he watched Bugs taking note of the elaborate contraption he had constructed to capture him. However, he didn't notice Bugs walking up to him, munching on a carrot and saying to the hunter, "Eh, what's up, doc? Finally have that rabbit in your clutches, eh?"
"Oh, you don't know the half of it! Once my machine finally gets the wabbit in my clutches, I will finally get that wabbit stew I have craved for all these years!"
Bugs smirked at Elmer, then turned to the audience and said in a quick sotto aside, "Oh, brother, get a load of the one and only Elmer J. Fudd here. He gets one step ahead of me and he thinks he's on top of the world. Listen, folks, you might wanna grab some popcorn for this … this is going to get looney."
Bugs then turned back to Elmer, still smirking at the hunter, and said, "Eh, I don't wanna sound naïve, Elmer, but I think there might be a few bugs in the system."
Elmer just looked at Bugs, dumbfounded at his comment on the matter, turned to his machine and said, "'A few bugs in the system'? What do you mean by that?"
Bugs walked up to Elmer's machine and started pointing out the flaws of said machine, stating, "Look, doc, you gotta make sure you have your machine set to capture a specific target … like a 'wabbit', so to speak. Next, you gotta have those mechanical hands ready to capture the rabbit if he tries to do something smart and, finally, you just sit back and watch the magic happen. In fact, why don't we run a preliminary test to make sure the machine is working properly?"
Elmer nodded his head as Bugs handed him a rabbit suit and he walked into the target. Elmer had his eyes closed as he was walking to the target where the machine was located and he asked Bugs, "Is the machine weady?"
Bugs smirked deviously as he said, "Oh, yeah, doc! Now, the fun really begins."
Once Bugs pressed the main button on the machine, it started to perform a series of humiliating and painful gags on Elmer that were meant for Bugs, then, after the montage, Elmer was placed into a box and handed to Bugs. Bugs could only laugh this off as he looked at the audience and said, "Ain't I a stinker?"
Bugs placed the box down and walked away, but Elmer finally popped out of the box, dressed in his signature hunting clothes, turned to the audience and said, "You know something, folks? Dat was the wabbit!"
Soon, Elmer started blasting his guns at Bugs, starting a Road Runner-Coyote-esque chase sequence, but Bugs managed to escape harm's way by jumping into a rabbit hole and producing a decoy rabbit for Elmer to chase. Once Elmer started to chase the decoy rabbit, Bugs popped out of the rabbit hole and said, "I guess I managed to fool old Elmer Fudd once again."
However, unbeknownst to Bugs, Elmer had actually caught up with his trickery as he pointed his shotgun at the back of his head and said deviously, "So, you thought you could get the swip on me so easily, huh, Bugs Bunny? Say your pwayers, wabbit, because I'm about to make a wabbit stew out of you!"
Bugs just snickered to himself as he nonchalantly munched on a carrot, then he turned to Elmer and said, "Listen, doc, are you trying to get yourself in trouble with the law around here again? Did you forget about the fact that it's not 'Wabbit Season'?"
Elmer just stared at the rabbit in complete confusion as he shrank back in surprise and said, "Wait a minute, it's not?"
"No, it's actually 'Duck Season'! Now, why don't you go and check on Daffy for a few minutes?" Bugs said with a smirk. "Go see what he's been up to."
Elmer looked at the rabbit in complete confusion for a moment, then he smiled and laughed deviously as he decided to go to wherever Daffy Duck was at during that point in time. When Bugs turned to see Elmer seriously going to see where Daffy was, Bugs was trying his best to hold his laughter as he looked at his watch and said to himself, "1 … 2 … 3 …"
Moments later, he saw Daffy walking up to him with some of his feathers singed off from Elmer's gunfire. Once he walked up to Bugs, Daffy just glared at him for a moment until he finally said, "Bugs, you … are unspeakably … despicable!"
Date: Monday, October 31, 2016 – Moron Mountain Intergalactic Universe / Swackhammer's Main Office – Moron Mountain, Outer Space
While Bugs and Elmer were engaging in their usual cartoon antics, Swackhammer was sulking in the front desk of his office on Moron Mountain, still disappointed about the failure of the Monstars after their performance in the Ultimate Game against the Tune Squad. Swackhammer was wondering how he could remedy this loss, but realized he did not have an all-star basketball team with a skillset rivaling the Monstars.
"Man, this is such a dilemma," Swackhammer said with a sigh. "I really want to get those Looney Tunes to be a part of the Moron Mountain staff, but I don't even have the Monstars on my side anymore."
Swackhammer stood up and looked around the office, stopping to see a picture of the Monstars towering over the Looney Tunes and Michael Jordan at the Ultimate Game. After looking at the picture for a minute, he threw the picture down in complete anger, seething and saying, "Drats! How could the Monstars lose to those Looney Tune chumps?! I practically had the talent of five NBA superstars on my side and all they had … was Michael Jordan!"
As a way to calm his nerves, Swackhammer decided to cool down by watching some television. However, once he turned on the televisions, he saw clips from various Looney Tunes cartoons, as well as random clips from episodes of Animaniacs, Pinky & the Brain, Tiny Toons and even episodes of the popular anime series, Sailor Moon. At first, Swackhammer was annoyed about the sight of Looney Tunes on the telelvisions, especially upon realizing that he never changed the channel since he and the Nerdlucks were discussing plans to save Moron Mountain from shutting down. Initially, he was going to turn off all of the little televisions, so he picked up the remote and started to turn off the televisions …
… however, once he saw the clips of Animaniacs, Pinky & the Brain, Tiny Toons and Sailor Moon, an idea started to come into his head, thinking, "Wait a minute! Maybe there's still a chance of me capturing the Looney Tunes … heck, I could even get those Animaniacs, Pinky & the Brain, Tiny Toons and Sailor Moon characters as an added bonus!"
"That's it! I have the greatest idea in the world for this one!" Swackhammer said as a smile beamed on his face. "I could capture those Warner cartoon characters and Sailor Moon stars, so I could make them the new stars for Moron Mountain! Oh, this is so perfect! When word gets out that I have all of these big-name superstars on my amusement park, Moron Mountain will become the official go-to spot in the entire universe!"
Once Swackhammer got the idea into his mind, he started to come up with a plan on how he was going to capture them. He thought about trying to negotiate with the Monstars to come back to his side, so he could have an advantage over the characters for the Ultimate Game, but he realized that would be an impossibility because the Monstars have officially changed for the better. However, the idea of recruiting some characters who could become a new superteam in the intergalactic basketball universe sounds like a more realistic approach. Suddenly, Swackhammer finally got the right idea of who he could get as his new basketball players!
"That's it! I need to make a call to a certain Professor Tomoe," Swackhammer said as he picked up his phone and started to dial Professor Tomoe's number.
Once he heard Professor Tomoe's number, Swackhammer smirked deviously as he cleared his throat and said, "Hello, Professor Tomoe? This is Swackhammer. Hey, do you think you could get the Witches 5? I need them for a special mission."
"Let me guess … you need the girls to serve as your new basketball superteam, so you could engage in a new intergalactic basketball tournament against the Looney Tunes?" Professor Tomoe said from the other line.
Swackhammer seemed to be surprised about Professor Tomoe's accuracy of that statement as he said, "Wait a minute, how did you know about that? Is Space Jam really that popular out there in Japan?"
"Well … I can't say for certain, but I do know that Mimete has been talking about the movie for quite a bit," Professor Tomoe said.
"You don't say …" Swackhammer said while raising an eyebrow and smirking with interest. "Well, what do you say, Tomoe? You think the Witches 5 would be willing to help me capture those Looney Tunes? I'm sure word of their return would have those Sailor Guardians rushing to the Tunes' side."
"To be honest, I think it might surprise the Guardians to know that the Witches 5 are actually back in action, but it might be an interesting experience," Professor Tomoe said. "I hope you don't mind if my assistant accompanies the girls for this mission."
"Your assistant? I was unaware that you had an assistant, Tomoe!" Swackhammer said with a hint of surprise in his voice.
Professor Tomoe just chuckled from the other line as he said, "Oh, come now, Swackhammer, I'm sure you had to be aware of my assistant Kaolinite … she was always associated with the Death Busters for as long as I've been there."
"Huh … I guess you learn something new everyday," Swackhammer said to the audience, then he said to Professor Tomoe, "Alright, Tomoe, I'll see if I have a role for Miss Kaolinite for this new intergalactic basketball superteam of mine."
After a quick farewell from both Professor Tomoe and Swackhammer, the green Moron Mountain owner hung up the phone in his main office and smirked with glee as he said, "This is great! Once I finally get the chance to meet up with the famous Witches 5, I'll have the best superteam that will be a force to be reckoned with! Those Looney Tunes won't know what hit 'em when they see these girls!"
Swackhammer laughed evilly as he walked up to the one of the windows and smiled deviously, saying to himself, "Just wait, Moron Mountain, you are going to see the revamp that you definitely deserve."
Date: Monday, October 31, 2016 – The Headquarters of the Death Busters – Azabu-Jūban, Minato – Tokyo, Japan
While Swackhammer was preparing for the arrival of the Witches 5, the girls themselves were busy coming up with ideas for their big comeback, which would hopefully send a message to their rivals, the Sailor Guardians. A wide variety of ideas were being thrown around—a hostage situation involving Sailor Neptune, a makeshift theme park disguised as an evil scheme … heck, even continuing their journey of capturing the Pure Hearts of the good characters—but they could not agree on an idea that sounded strong enough for a revenge scheme.
"Come on, girls! We have to come up with something," Eudial said to the fellow members of the Witches 5. "We need to figure out something we could do to prove our worth to Professor Tomoe and the Death Busters!"
"You still think he won't take us seriously after what happened over 20 years ago?" Tellu said while smirking at Eudial.
"Hey, I could've helped this group get closer to destroying Sailor Moon for good if a certain somebody didn't cut the brakes in my car and fill it with snails out of spite …" Eudial said, her voice having a slight growl as her eyes turned to Mimete, who was busy watching television.
"Well, to be honest, we were obsessed with the idea of self-sabotage at the time," Viluy said while rolling her eyes. "Besides, we were all young back then."
"What are you talking about? I still feel young right now!" Cyprine said, causing an awkward silence amongst the Witches 5.
After a beat and a moment of awkward silence, Viluy tried to get back to the matter at hand by saying, "O … kay, so what is going to be our first mission that will signify our comeback?"
The girls were thinking long and hard about what they could possibly do until they heard Mimete say, "How did those guys not realize that they just met Bugs Bunny right now?"
Eudial was confused about Mimete's comment, so she walked over to where she was sitting and said, "Mimete, would you like to explain what you are over here blabbering about while we are trying to figure out what our comeback mission is going to be?"
Mimete turned to see Eudial glaring at her, causing her to jump up in surprise as she said, "Gah! Oh, uh, sorry, Eudial, I was just busy watching this movie."
"Mimete, you've been watching this movie since we came back on the scene," Eudial said while rolling his eyes. "Why do you love this Space Jam movie so much? You don't even like basketball! Heck, I didn't think you even liked the Looney Tunes!"
"Oh, Eudial, it's not even like that," Mimete said while rolling her eyes. "I'm only watching this from the perspective of the Nerdlucks. Those guys seemed to have those Tunes under the thumb and it even felt like they would've been successful in defeating those cartoon characters if they didn't recruit Michael Jordan to play for their basketball team—though I still question the logic of something like that."
Eudial looked a little dumbfounded when Mimete said she really thought those Nerdlucks had a chance of defeating the Looney Tunes, so much so that she burst out in laughter, crying tears of joy as she said in between her laughter, "Wait, let me get this straight: you—you seriously believe those little aliens could actually defeat the Looney Tunes?"
Mimete just sighed in annoyance as she said, "Listen, I know it sounds ridiculous, but that's just when they were the Nerdlucks. I haven't even told you about what happened they become the all-star Monstars."
Eudial just tried to hold back her laughter as she continued to humor Mimete and her explanation of these Monstars, saying in a playful and sarcastic tone, "Oh, okay, Mimete, I'll play along with you. So, those little cartoon aliens—the Nerdlucks—were supposedly down there to capture Bugs Bunny and those Looney Tunes, then they were challenged to a basketball game for their freedom?"
"I know it sounds ridiculous, Eudial, but stay with me here," Mimete said. "See, those little aliens were sent down there by Swackhammer to capture the Looney Tunes, so they could become their new attractions on this failing amusement park, Moron Mountain. However, Bugs and the Looney Tunes decided to challenge them to a basketball game to determine their freedom, but the Nerdlucks decided to one-up them by stealing the talent of five NBA players, which led to them becoming the Monstars! Had the Tunes not recruited Michael Jordan for their basketball team, the Monstars might've pulled out an easy win against the Tune Squad."
However, while she was explaining this, she noticed that Eudial and the other members of the Witches 5 were laughing harder than ever, leaving her even more annoyed as she said, "Listen, ladies, I know it all sounds ridiculous, but I bet you we could improve where the Monstars failed if we were given the opportunity!"
The other four members of the Witches 5 slowly stopped laughing, but were still smirking incredulously at Mimete as Tellu said, "I'm sorry, Mimete, but think about this: we are actual human beings and those Looney Tunes are cartoon characters! After all, that was only a fictional cartoon movie, not real life."
"By having Michael Jordan in the movie, it seemed more real than I wanted to believe," Mimete said under her breath. "After all, it was made when he was really getting back into the NBA."
"Mimete, just face reality for one moment," Viluy said as she walked up to Mimete. "Do you really believe just saving the Looney Tunes from an advanced alien race would spur Michael Jordan into returning to the NBA?"
"Well, it was all for the sake of entertainment, but think about this: those martians were closer to reaching their goal of defeating the Looney Tunes than we ever were trying to defeat the Sailor Guardians!" Mimete said. "Listen, maybe if we were sent to those Tunes' universe and we manage to improve where the Nerdlucks failed, that might help us find an effective strategy to defeat the Sailor Guardians!"
The other members of the Witches 5 just stood there in complete silence … until Eudial just burst out laughing once again, much to Mimete's annoyance. Eudial tried to cool it down as she looked at Mimete and said, "Listen, Mimete, I highly doubt that playing a basketball game against some cartoon characters would actually give us a good idea when we find ourselves in a battle against Sailor Moon and her friends!"
"Oh, I beg to differ, Eudial …" A voice said from afar, causing Eudial to stop laughing completely as she and the other girls turned to see Professor Tomoe standing near the doorway.
"Professor Tomoe! How long have you been standing there?" Eudial said in a surprised tone.
"I just walked in right as Mimete was trying to explain the plot of Space Jam," Professor Tomoe said as he chuckled while shaking his head. "Funny story about that, by the way, I just got off the phone with one of those stars who came from that movie."
Mimete's eyes lit up brightly as she rushed up to Professor Tomoe and said, "Did you get off the phone with the real Michael Jordan? Did you get his autograph? Did he send you a pair of his signature Air Jordans? Did he give you the number of that dreamy Blake Griffin?"
Eudial rushed up and covered Mimete's mouth as she cleared her throat and said to Professor Tomoe, "Continue, Professor, which one of the stars of Space Jam did you recently talk to?"
Professor Tomoe just smirked at the Witches 5 as he coolly said, "Oh, just the main villain of the movie."
"You actually got in contact with the Monstars? I thought they were staying with the Looney Tunes after all of the events that occurred in the movie," Cyprine said while raising an eyebrow.
"No, it wasn't the Monstars themselves … it was actually Mr. Swackhammer, the owner of the Moron Mountain amusement park in outer space," Professor Tomoe explained to the girls. "He actually wants you girls to help him with a special mission that involves the Looney Tunes."
The Witches 5 exchanged looks of simultaneous interest and surprise as Eudial asked, "Really? Does he want us to play a game of basketball against them?"
Professor Tomoe just smirked at the girls as he just coolly said, "Well … I'll just say that you girls and Kaolinite are going to be teaming up with each other for this endeavor."
"Interesting …" Eudial said as a devious smirk appeared on her face.
"So, when does he want to see us?" Cyprine asked.
"Whenever you get ready, so prepare yourselves for this one, girls … because I believe this is going to be … how you would say, 'looney'," Professor Tomoe said while chuckling as he left the room and the Witches 5 exchanged glances and devious smirks amongst themselves.
Date: Monday, October 31, 2016 – Moron Mountain Intergalactic Universe / Swackhammer's Main Office – Moron Mountain, Outer Space
Meanwhile, back on Moron Mountain, Swackhammer was in the process of rewatching the Ultimate Game from 20 years earlier, hoping to pinpoint the weaknesses of the Looney Tunes and the strengths of the Monstars, so the Witches 5 could use this as ways to become unstoppable forces on the animated court. While watching the slapstick montage that involved the Tunes getting their payback against the Monstars in the third quarter, Swackhammer just shook his head and said under his breath, "I'll have to remind the girls to be wary of the Tunes' slapstick arsenal when they play this basketball game."
"Don't worry, Swackhammer, we promise to keep our eyes peeled while we're on the court," a voice said from afar, snapping Swackhammer out of his Ultimate Game stupor.
"What the—who said that?" Swackhammer said as he looked around in confusion.
"Turn around, Swacky, your new basketball superstarlets have arrived!" another voice said as Swackhammer turned to see the Witches 5 and Kaolinite standing in front of his desk.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Witches 5 themselves!" Swackhammer said as he walked towards the girls. "I see you have brought a surprise guest with you—Miss Kaolinite, I presume?"
"That's the name, don't wear it out, Swacky," Kaolinite said while smirking at the Moron Mountain owner. "So, what did you call us up here for?"
"I'm glad you asked," Swackhammer said as he walked back to his desk. "Okay, here's the rundown: 20 years earlier, my amusement park was losing customers and I thought it was in need of a tune-up, which led to me coming up with the idea of making the Looney Tunes characters become my new attractions for the amusement park, which would hopefully revive the popularity of Moron Mountain."
"You think the Looney Tunes would be enough to liven the place up? What, the Spice Girls weren't available at the time?" Tellu asked while raising an eyebrow.
"Hey, you know how those pop bands end up: start out with a strong run of hits for a few years, then engage in a messy breakup for a long time until they engage in a botched attempt at a reunion," Swackhammer said. "Anyway, I decided to have the Nerdlucks go to Earth and see if they could kidnap the Looney Tunes, but the Tunes decided to get an upper hand over them by doing the most-logical thing they could think of at the time: challenging them to a basketball game."
"The Looney Tunes … playing basketball … against a group of aliens?" Viluy said in a tone of disdain. "Who thought that would've been a good idea at the time?"
"It was the '90s, what did you expect, kid? Well, after the Tunes laid down their basketball challenge, the Nerdlucks traveled into the real world to steal the talent from five NBA players at the time: Charles Barkley, Patrick Ewing, Larry Johnson, Muggsy Bogues and Shawn Bradley," Swackhammer explained.
"Shawn Bradley? Really, Shawn Bradley?" Mimete said in a surprised tone. "What, they didn't want to steal the talent from somebody like Shaquille O'Neal or Hakeem Olajuwon?"
"Hey, it was either Shawn or Gheorghe Muresan," Swackhammer said while shrugging. "Plus, it was a scheduling conflict."
"That or a lack of a scouting report," Cyprine said under her breath.
"Anyway, once the Nerdlucks received the talent of the aforementioned NBA players, they became the all-star Monstars and … well, I think you girls know the rest of the story," Swackhammer said.
"Right; in order to get a fair chance at defeating those Monstars in the Ultimate Game, the Looney Tunes had to recruit the face of the NBA at that time, Michael Jordan, to play for their team and they eventually received another new recruit in Lola Bunny, which, through their combined efforts and a surprise appearance by Bill Murray during the final 10 seconds of the game, helped them spur a major comeback against the Monstars, which led to the Tune Squad's win of 78-77," Eudial explained.
Swackhammer looked amazed at Eudial's summarization of the plot as he said, "Yeah … pretty much. How did you know about all of this anyway, kid?"
"Well, somebody in our group has been watching the movie a lot since we were planning our own comeback," Eudial said as she turned her eyes to Mimete, who just blushed in response.
"Huh? Who knew?" Swackhammer said. "Anyway, it's getting closer to the 20th anniversary of Space Jam and I was hoping to make a statement against those Looney Tunes by creating my own basketball superteam from the ground-up. I tried to see if I could require the permission to utilize any of the major NBA teams, then I thought about making evil clones of the Monstars, the Looney Tunes and even the Sailor Guardians, but the cloning process wasn't utilized to the—"
"Hold the phone, did you just say 'Sailor Guardians'?" Eudial asked Swackhammer.
"Yeah, why? You know them or something?" Swackhammer asked while raising an eyebrow at Eudial.
"Know them? They are our mortal enemies!" Eudial said with a devious smile. "Were you planning on taking them on in this basketball challenge?"
"Well, I was thinking of capturing them alongside the Looney Tunes and making them my new attractions of Moron Mountain," Swackhammer explained. "In fact, I was hoping to do the same to the Tiny Toons cast and the Warner Siblings from Animaniacs."
Eudial decided to gather the other members of the Witches 5 and Kaolinite into a huddle while saying, "Please excuse us, Swackhammer, we have to discuss this matter at hand."
Once the girls got into a huddle, Eudial whispered, "Do you hear that, girls? We might have a chance at defeating those Sailor Guardians once and for all!"
"But, Eudial, it's not like we're taking away their Pure Hearts or anything of that nature," Kaolinite whispered. "You girls are going to be playing against them in a basketball game … if they decide to come in and help the Looney Tunes once they get word of what is happening, that is."
"I'd doubt it," Eudial whispered back. "Besides, those cartoon characters might resort to recruiting another basketball player from the upper world to help them out, though I wouldn't be surprised if the Sailor Guardians decide to jump into this thing."
"Good point," Mimete whispered. "Well, if those Sailor Guardians end up teaming up with the Looney Tunes in this basketball game, we might have to use all of our wits, powers and abilities to defeat those Tunes for everything they've got."
"Wait, how are we going to do that to the Looney Tunes?" Tellu said. "Even if we use our powers against them, those cartoon characters are immortal—the same case with the Tiny Toons and those Warners—and they can't die unless they decide to, because they could easily take everything we throw at them and come out of this unscathed!"
"Well, we'll just surprise them when we actually play in this basketball game because our reputation hangs in the balance," Eudial whispered. "We could either win the fame or just go down in shame … because I'm not in the mood to die in another adaptation yet again!"
"Same here," Mimete whispered while sighing, which caused Eudial to glare at her for a moment, leading to Mimete to smile sheepishly as she said, "Hey, I'm just saying, Eudial!"
Eudial just rolled her eyes at Mimete's comment as she turned back to the other girls and whispered while sporting a devious smirk, "So, what do you say, ladies? Do you wanna get the chance to defeat those Sailor Guardians and Looney Tunes at their own game?"
"Right!" The other members of the Witches 5 and Kaolinite said.
After the girls broke out of their huddle, Eudial walked up to Swackhammer and said, "Alright, Swackhammer, you've got yourself a deal!"
"Excellent!" Swackhammer said as he shook hands with Eudial and turned on the various televisions to show the girls their new opponents. "As you can see on these screens, these cartoon characters are going to be your opponents in this basketball challenge alongside the Sailor Guardians. Do you girls think you can handle the wackiness of the Looney Tunes and the rest of the animated Warner Bros. characters?"
"Oh, come on, Swackhammer," Eudial said while rolling her eyes and smirking. "They're just cartoon characters! They won't pose as a threat to us, you know."
"Alright, just so you know," Swackhammer said as he laughed a little and passed Eudial the keys to the Nerdlucks' old spaceship. "Here, these are the keys to the spaceship out front. I had it redesigned to your preferences, so go nuts with it."
"Thanks, Swacky," Eudial said as she smiled deviously.
Mimete then jumped up and said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Swackhammer, you're trusting Eudial with the responsibility of flying the spaceship?"
"Hey, I'm sure she's improved her driving skills since the '90s Sailor Moon anime," Swackhammer said as he walked back to his desk. "Besides, it's not like she's so reckless that she would actually drive the spaceship off a cliff and plummet to her death or something crazy like that."
Mimete just blankly stared at Swackhammer for what felt like a moment until she finally said while chuckling sheepishly, "Right … if you say so, Swackhammer."
Suddenly, Tellu yanked on Mimete's outfit and pulled her outside to the spaceship as she said, "Come on, Mimete, we can't screw up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for our comeback! Will you just hurry up and get in the spaceship before you get left behind again?"
As Tellu and Mimete finally boarded the spaceship, Eudial looked and made sure everyone was present in the spaceship. Once she saw that everyone was present and accounted for, she turned on the spaceship and said, "Alright, girls, hold on to your seats 'cause this is going to be a wild ride!"
Mimete gulped nervously for a moment as she thought to herself, "I truly hope Eudial has learned how to drive better since the '90s. Otherwise, we all might end up in an early grave once again."
Once the spaceship started up, Eudial smirked at her fellow Witches 5 members and Kaolinite as she said with a devious smirk, "Alright, ladies, next stop: Looney Tune Land!"
Author's Note: What do you know? An actual update after taking Christmas break and a month on hiatus? Anyway, I decided to change the storyline to have it focus more on the return of the Witches 5 and Kaolinite because I feel they were rather underrated as Sailor Moon villains. Don't worry, the Looney Tunes and Sailor Guardians will still play major roles in the story and the Monstars will still make appearances in the story, but I think it would be interesting to have the Tunes' new basketball opponents be the Witches 5 this time around … it should make for an interesting matchup, I'll say that much. Oh, and the ending of this story will play into the events of a Sailor Space Jam! sequel that will come soon after this, which will involve the Looney Tunes and the Sailor Guardians reuniting for a new intergalactic basketball competition against a certain Sailor Moon villainess who will take up the mantle of the Big Bad over Swackhammer and having her own henchwomen playing in a new intergalactic basketball competition against the Looney Tunes and the Sailor Guardians, but you'll just have to wait until the end of this story to find out who this character will be … The eventual revelation of the new Big Bad just might surprise you …
Uh-oh! It looks like the Looney Tunes and Sailor Guardians might have a huge challenge on their hands since Swackhammer has recruited Kaolinite and the Witches 5 to serve as his new intergalactic basketball superteam! Who knows what the Witches 5 and Kaolinite have in store for the beloved cartoon characters and the most-famous group of magical girl warriors? Will the Looney Tunes and Sailor Guardians manage to put their heads together and step up for this battle of good versus evil? "Stay Tooned" for the next chapter to find out, folks!