Drug
Viva La Viveca
Disclaimer: I don't own Haru or Lucia… or any characters they might mention…
Summary: "Drugs are a more powerful thing than I could have ever imagined." Haru/Lucia, rated T for mention of drug use and minor swearing.
He laid with his head in my lap, curled up in a ball on our bed. His painful gasps made me wince, but at least he had actually come home tonight at all. Most of the time I wasn't sure where he was any more. All of my friends had pretty much abandoned me because they thought I was stupid for doing this. Despite all his temper, despite his drug addictions and the fact that he spent all his money on alcohol that I tried to hide from him all the time, I loved him more than anything in the world.
He let out a quiet sob, clenching my hand with both of his. He whispered my name over and over again, but I didn't bother to reply. He always did this; it was like saying my name, which was the most he could manage to get out with his body shuddering like it was, could some how ease the pain, though I was never sure how it did. He said that he was saying the name of the only person that could put up with all his shit, and that he knew I was the only one who would be there for him.
I gave him credit for one thing though; he had been trying to quit for the past two years since we had started living together. I had asked him to quit, and he tried time and time again. Much like his mother had done though, he was failing over and over again. This was just another one of those weeks where he tried to quit completely. The withdrawal was taking its toll, and I was just waiting for him to ask for the bottle of pills that he kept in the nightstand just in case.
Drugs are a more powerful thing than I could have ever imagined. I've seen them do things to a man that no illness, physical or mental, could ever do. I've seen Lucia completely lose control of his temper and just go on a destruction binge; it took weeks for us to find another apartment. I still had a scar from where he had pushed me away and I had fell against the glass case that he kept his sword collection in. He's also done a complete 360 once or twice that had my hopes up higher that there were better days coming. He brought me home roses, cooked supper and we made love more often than the people that lived below us appreciated. It hadn't lasted long, but I cherished those moments that felt almost normal.
It hadn't always been like this. Before we moved in together, when we were still dating and sneaking through our windows to go visit each other, it had been great. We were always together. Sure, I knew he was doing drugs, but back then he had been so gentle and sweet… Well, as gentle as was possible for him. He gave me random gifts, protected me when I needed it. He had been amazing. When I finally confronted him about the addiction, he promised to quit, if I would move in with him. He said it wasn't the easiest thing to just stop doing, but he could do it if he had my help.
Here we sit, two years later, him going through the same withdrawal symptoms he had suffered the first time. Nothing's really changed, other than me growing up a bit and him clinging to me like I was his last lifeline other than the drugs.
"Haru?" I heard his whisper pierce through the pitch black of our room. Not even the moon was out tonight, covered by clouds that promised the severe thunderstorm that the weather forecasters had been calling for since last week.
I kissed his temple to let him know I was listening. "I'm so stupid…" his voice was raspy from disuse. "Why do you do this, when you know I'm probably not going to change?"
I sighed, burying my face in his hair and smelling the strawberry shampoo that he favored so much. "Because you're my drug…"
UPDATE: Great news people, I'm currently working on making this sort of a triology. Look out for 'Last Call' next!!! 3