Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor am I profiting in the making of this story.
Plot: After Urara realizes that she had been reborn into the world of Naruto, she is determined not to do anything that would influence the events of the original story. However, after meeting and befriending Uchiha Shisui at the academy, Urara finds it becoming harder and harder to distance herself when the kind-hearted boy manages to weasel his way into her heart. With the knowledge of his eventual death, she is forced to choose between letting fate run its course or taking matters into her own hands – consequences be damned.
｢ Chapter One : The Beginning of a Story
All endings are also beginnings.
We just don't know it at the time.
- Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet In Heaven ｣
My name is Yamazaki Urara. Or at least now it is.
I know that probably sounds a bit … strange (especially coming from the body of a newborn), but that's the truth. You see, before I was me – as in Yamazaki Urara – I was a different person entirely. I had a different name, a different face, a different family, but most importantly I lived in a different world.
And in that world, the one I'm now alive in was merely a place from a fictional story.
Shocking, I know. But to be completely honest, that life-shattering discovery paled in comparison to what I realized when I first opened my eyes.
I had been reborn in all sense of the word. It took me a long moment to notice this, however. Especially with giants looming over me, poking and probing and rubbing and squeezing me until my throat burned from the intensity of my horrified wailing.
It wasn't until they laid me down on a cold metallic surface – masked faces mumbling to each other in a language both strangely familiar yet obviously foreign – that I calmed down enough to notice that they weren't giants; I was just tiny.
Cue me realizing that I was in the body of a newborn.
Before I could fall into yet another state of unadulterated panic, a strange feeling caused my next cry to catch in my throat. Something both warm and terribly intrusive seeped down through my skin and deep into my body. It circulated through me - touching and examining everything from my lungs to the blood running through my veins. It was then, as I followed the presence around with my mind, that I felt something in my body that wasn't supposed to be there.
It felt like … I don't know, magic was the only word my brain could supply me with – it felt both intimately a part of me and totally alien. Was I in a world were magic ran wild? No, a voice in my head told me, this was something entirely different. Attempting to block out the intruding presence, I reached inside me for this alien thing – curious as well as wary. It stirred and opened up.
Suddenly I knew that whatever it was, magic or some other bizarre phenomenon, it was as much a part of me as I was it. It branched throughout my body like veins; running from the top of my head and down into each individual toe. It was all of me all at once - and I knew instinctively that because it was alive, I was alive too.
What is this? My past self had never felt anything like it, and to be honest I was a bit perplexed I hadn't noticed it instantly.
The doctor turned his head to speak with someone behind him, and it was then that I noticed his hands. They hovered a few inches above my exposed stomach with a pale green light surrounding them. Whatever that light was, it only took me a moment more to realize that it was the source of the intrusive presence.
It reminds me of the healing jutsu from Naruto. And with that thought, something clicked into place in my mind. The alien thing inside me wasn't magic - it was Chakra.
Cue me realizing I was no longer on Earth, but on whatever planet Naruto existed in.
•.*.•*•.*.•*•.*.•*•.*.•*•.*.•
I don't really remember what happened after that. A man and a woman who I assumed to be my new parents took me home sometime later; and although I wanted to feel indifferent toward them, I couldn't stop myself from caving under their tender nurturing. They were my family now, all things considered - even though thinking about them in that way made me feel strangely bitter, like I was betraying my previous family in some way.
There wasn't much I could do about it, though; because before I even realized what was happening, I had already fallen completely in love with them. Attributing this development to a newborn's instinct of parental imprinting made me feel somewhat better, even though I knew that wasn't the entire truth.
The first few months of my life were a haze of indistinguishable days meshing together. Between sleeping, eating, and trying to potty train myself, there was little time for me to ponder my new existence.
It was only when my body became strong enough to stay awake for extended periods of time that I realized - with a startling clarity - that I had taken those first few months for granted. Having the time to think was torture, especially when I had little to no control over my own body.
I'm in Konoha, but when am I? It hadn't taken me long to notice where I'd been born, especially after I caught sight of my parent's headbands. The leaf inscribed on the metal plating had simultaneously brought me relief and distress. Relief because, for the first time since my rebirth, it felt like I was finally finding solid ground; and distress because I had no idea where in the timeline I had popped up in.
I had read enough fanfiction in my previous life to know that 'when' was a particularly important aspect – although now that I thought about it that way, I suddenly felt like my circumstances were remarkably cliché. Come on, reincarnation in the Naruto world?
I would be lying if I said that I never daydreamed about this happening. A girl (most of the time myself) reborn into said series, taking the plot into her own hands and twisting it in the way she thinks is best, falling in love with her favorite character, before finally giving everyone the happy ending they deserved. It had seemed so easy in my head, but I had a feeling that reality wouldn't be so accommodating.
By nine months I had full control over my bowels, had the muscle strength to both pull myself up and crawl around, and was just beginning to experiment with walking. The former being something I was extremely excited to master. I had also learned that the strangely familiar yet foreign language my parents spoke was Japanese.
Like most people who were into anime and the like, I knew a few phrases in the language – but in no way did I know how to speak it. In all honesty, I wasn't even sure how I understood it as well as I did now. Clearly, reading was still beyond me (believe me I tried; everything just looked like complicated lines and boxes); so I was understandably surprised when I noticed that the more my parents spoke to me, the easier it was to understand them. This realization was a bit much for my already overworked brain to figure out, so I simply attributed it to an infant's innate ability to learn languages.
"Urara-chan."
My hand halted in its attempt at tugging a book, nearly as big as me, from off the lowest level of a bookshelf – leaving me feeling a bit sheepish at having been caught. A moment later I felt someone scoop me into their arms, laughing in exasperation near my ear.
"Otou-san will get angry if you ruin his books. Come on; let's go find your toys." Kaa-chan smiled patiently at me as she turned to move out of the study, pausing in front of a mirror to fix a patch of hair that was standing on end. I was about to respond to her in the baby talk my vocal cords produced (they weren't quite developed enough to form actual words yet), when I stilled abruptly after catching my reflection.
This was probably the first time I had seen myself in this body. Even though I wasn't even a year old yet, I held a striking resemblance to my mother. We shared the same wavy, pale blonde hair, pale skin, and a nose that was slightly upturned. My eyes, however, must have been inherited from my father. While my mothers were a charming hazel, mine were a bright aqua color – my dad's being a darker blue in contrast.
To say it left me feeling a bit disconnected was an understatement. Looking at myself, I knew it was me; but at the same time, I felt like I was staring into a stranger's eyes. My mother, seeming to sense my mood change, cast me concerned glance before moving into the combined living/dining room.
"Alright, down we go!" Placing me on the tatami covered floor, she quickly gathered my once forgotten toys and shifted them closer to me. I eyed them wearily, still feeling a bit out of sorts and only slightly offended that she was trying to make a twenty-something year old play with stuffed animals and building blocks.
"Okaa-san has to go make dinner now. So be a good girl and stay here, okay?" Dropping a quick kiss on top of my head, she ambled away - the only thing standing between us now being the small island counter separating the kitchen from the rest of the room.
I stayed relatively quiet after that, lost in my own thoughts as I vaguely listened to kaa-chan humming nearby. I didn't even bother trying to explore my chakra channels through meditation, an activity I had recently gotten into if only to spare myself the humiliation of entertaining myself with toddler toys.
This is real.
I suddenly felt like everything was forcefully put into perspective. Of course I knew that I wasn't the me from before, I knew that I was years younger than I was supposed to be, that I had a new family and a new name and a new life. But strangely enough, it took me actually seeing my new face to cement that reality.
My vision suddenly turned blurry as tears began to flow down my face unbidden. A swell of emotion, so overwhelming I was surprised I wasn't drowning in it, caused a choked sob to rip from my throat. Before I could even attempt to compose myself I was already wailing – the sound heart-wrenching even to me.
I was vaguely aware of the clatter of something falling in the kitchen, or the feeling of being lifted into someone's arms. Memories from an impossibly distant past pressed against my mind, suffocating me in their intensity as I clung desperately to the person rocking me.
There I was as a child. My curly brunette hair bounced around me as I chased my father across the yard, with a barking dog bounding playfully after us. The sky that day was so blue, and as my father scooped me up in his arms he laughed and told me I had stolen a piece of the sky and used it to color my eyes.
Then I was a teenager, sneaking out of a window and creeping across the yard to where an old car sat idle at the end of the driveway. I slipped into the passenger's seat and leaned over to kiss a boy who was grinning as mischievously as I was. I remember myself thinking about how beautiful his green eyes were as the light from the radio caused them to shine dimly in the night.
I blinked and there I was fully grown, the boy from the car now a handsome young man at my side. He kissed my temple as we made our way into a restaurant where my parents were waiting to meet us. We ate a peaceful meal together, and just as we were about to leave he got down on one knee and held up a box containing a diamond ring. I cried and threw my arms around him happily.
I was in a wedding gown, face covered by a thin veil as I walked past my friends and family down the aisle. They could have all been ghosts at that moment, for all I could see were those beautiful green eyes that seemed to shine with utter happiness. Vows were exchanged and with a kiss the room erupted into cheers. I glanced over at the pew where my father sat, and my chest swelled with emotion as I silently watched him cry tears of joy for me.
We were in a hospital room, and I was exhausted but so very happy. My husband grinned so wide it nearly covered his entire face, and I watched with tears in my eyes as he rocked a bundle of blankets in his arms. When he passed the bundle over, I looked down and cried at the beautiful baby cradled to my chest. His eyes were a beautiful green just like his father's.
I was in the car driving home from the grocery store, rubbing my protruding belly fondly as I waited for the light to turn green. It was my son's second birthday, and I was excited to return home and show off the dinosaur cake I had ordered for him. I felt a kick against my stomach as the light turned, and I patted the area gently as I let my foot rest on the gas pedal. There was a sound of screeching tires and the shrill bark of a horn, but before I could slam my foot onto the brakes a truck slammed into me.
And then there was an eternity of darkness.
Of all the Naruto rebirth fanfiction I had read, the protagonist was always distant to their new family – or if not distant, then at least didn't go out of their way to form a bond with them. That was a bit understandable, I guess; some people were less accepting than others. But the thing that most writers failed to mention, something I hadn't even given much thought to, was the protagonist's feeling of utter loss.
They had overshadowed that fact by making the protagonist focus on a certain ambition – to save the characters from the story they remembered; to training themselves to become great ninja. The character didn't have time to reflect on the life that had been taken away from them; or if they did, they downplayed the emotional impact drastically.
I had had a family - a husband and a child and an unborn baby that had died with me. It had died before it even had the chance to live. For a moment I cursed my current existence; why had I gotten a second chance when that child hadn't even gotten a first? I was momentarily stricken by the utter disgust I felt being in this body.
I wished, not for the first time, that I was as strong as those fanfiction protagonists who seemed to find their footing in this new world so easily. I envied that reality wasn't like that.
"Urara-chan! Urara-chan, what's the matter?" Kaa-chan's presence soothed me if only a bit, and even though I felt like I was being swallowed up by my despair, I couldn't stop the pang of regret at causing her to sound so panicked. I was a mother once too after all; there's nothing worse than not knowing what was ailing your child.
I have to get it together, if only for her sake.
Although the thought seemed easy enough, I couldn't bring myself to actually do it as I continued to sob into her shoulder. Her fingers, now trembling, ran through my hair in an effort to calm me, and her lips murmured silent words of comfort into my ear. She continued her ministrations for a while longer, rocking slowly on her feet even as my tears continued to fall.
"I'm home-"
"Toshi! Please help me; I don't know what's wrong!" Kaa-chan's voice trembled as if she were on the verge of tears herself, making me feel even worse as she hurried to where tou-chan stood by the door.
"She just started crying and now she won't stop!"
I heard him say something to her before I was gently handed over. Tou-chan's large hands held me tightly, and I buried my face against his shoulder as he made his way to the couch and took a seat.
"There, there. It's alright. Everything's okay." His words were soft if not a bit firm, and I noticed kaa-chan from the corner of my eye hovering nervously beside us. Like kaa-chan had done, he ran his fingers through my hair – the callouses on them making his fingers feel rough against my scalp. The gesture reminded me so much of my previous father that I broke down into yet another inconsolable fit.
"You'll make okaa-san worried if you keep crying like this."
I never did stop crying after that, even though he and kaa-chan both continued whispering comforting nonsense to me. At one point I even heard her question tou-chan about whether they should go to the hospital. Thankfully he managed to dissuade her from that idea, even though his voice had taken on a somewhat worried tone at my continued outburst.
Eventually I managed to fall asleep still wrapped tightly in tou-chan's arms, which I'm sure must have been a welcomed relief to my worried parents.
The next few days I dreamt about the family I had left behind. About my father, crying over the graves of his only child and late wife. About the two-year-old boy with eyes like his dad, who would grow up in a harsh world without his mother. About the unborn child that had been forced to give up on life before getting the chance to experience it. And about haunted green eyes that looked so heartbroken my own heart shattered at the sight.
On and on, these images relentlessly plagued my dreams; and just when I was beginning to think that I would go mad from the constant anguish, out from the darkness of nightmares a light flickered on.
I saw the eyes of my new father; so bright and blue and full of pride as he gazed down at me. I felt the warm arms of my new mother wrapped around me, as she swung me around and sang to me in that sweet, sweet voice of hers – her eyes full of nothing but unconditional love.
I had lost a part of myself I knew I'd never get back. It was a tragedy, without a doubt. But in losing that piece of myself, I found something else in that dark loneliness that I hadn't fully realized was there.
Another family.
I didn't want to get involved with this world, or to save it from its tragic fate. I didn't want to be a cliché character that went around trying to save everyone she knew would die, even if I still wasn't sure where I was in this world's timeline. I didn't even want to be a ninja, even though I had momentarily entertained the idea.
There was, however, one thing I did want – and that was to be a family with those two wonderful people who had given me my second life. It was the least I could do for them, as their only child. Even if the coming days are especially difficult, and I feel like I will drown in my sorrow, I will live in the only way I know how.
One day at a time.
A/N: Hello everyone! Here marks the start of yet another S/I story. I know, an over-used cliché - but one I absolutely love reading about. I love it so much that here I am, making one of my own! I wasn't sure how to write this introductory first chapter without doing the same thing everyone else does, so I kind of just winged it. Sadly, it still has a lot of over used S/I first chapter things.
But what can you do?
Anyway, I'll try to get a chapter up every week - or if not bi-weekly. That isn't a strict schedule so some may come out quicker than others, but right now I'm still in the planning process of this story. I have a general idea which direction I want it to go in, but nothing concrete yet.
Anyway, I hope you liked it! And if you didn't, sorry for wasting your time I suppose. Happy reading!