A/N: Er… two years later… Anyway, sorry this took so long. Got about halfway through and had no idea what to write. For those still interested, here you go. Enjoy!
0o0o0o0o0
Shades of Grey
Both Emily and JJ had been back for several weeks now, and the BAU was slowly getting back into their ordinary not-quite-routine schedule. Reid, now that he'd forgiven them anyway, couldn't help but be slightly clingy around the two women, hovering almost anxiously whenever they disappeared for longer than a few minutes at a time. It was a habit he was trying to get rid of, as it was neither warranted nor particularly wanted, but he knew it would be at least another few weeks before it would go away completely.
It was for that reason Reid found himself searching for the two when they seemingly vanished from the bullpen for a good twenty minutes, sending his anxiety levels up a couple notches when he noticed both of them had gone at the same time. Where had they gone? He thought for a moment before heading up to Garcia's office. That was generally where the girls went to chat when they were taking a breather. He'd just check in on them briefly and head back to his desk.
Reid felt himself relax minutely when he heard the sounds of laughter from all three women coming from Garcia's domain. He thought he heard JJ exclaim, "—you've been up to since I left?" amusement lacing the portion of question he could make out. Raising a hand, he rapped quietly on the door before turning the knob. It swung open easily, and Reid glanced around in confusion at the sudden cessation of noise. His eyes flicked from the frozen expressions on the women's faces to the many monitors surrounding the room, barely feeling his jaw drop in unpleasant surprise.
What…. was this?
"Oh, uh, a-Reid, my j-junior G-man, what brings you here on this f-fine morning?" Garcia's voice stuttered nervously, hand hovering just above her mouse. Her finger was a bare millimeter from closing down the media viewing program she very clearly wished was not active at the moment. Reid sort of agreed with that sentiment.
It was just past noon, but the doctor's mouth didn't seem capable of making the appropriate motions to correct her. In fact, the question barely registered at all, and Reid suddenly had a newfound understanding of what people meant when they said their brains were fried.
And then Morgan walked in. "So this is where everyone's run off to? Hotch wants us to…" Morgan's voice trailed off and Garcia let out a strangled noise, finally clicking out of the program. It didn't help. Reid would never be able to forget the images that had been displayed on those monitors for as long as he lived, no matter how much he wanted to.
Dark hands fisted around chestnut hair.
"What the hell?" Morgan asked, voice unusually high-pitched.
Pale, lithe body nestled snugly against a darker, bulkier form.
"W-we can explain," Emily finally said, then paused. She didn't seem to know how to continue.
Soft velvet sliding sinuously from bare skin.
JJ's eyes flicked between her male coworkers. "I had no part in this." Emily and Garcia both shot her looks of betrayal. "This all happened after I left," she added insistently.
Lips locked in a passionate kiss, a sliver of tongue snaking from one mouth to the other. And in the corner…
A signature.
Reid was torn between fainting and fueling the flare of anger he was unaccustomed to feeling.
Neal. Neal Caffrey was going to die. Neal Caffrey had painted… painted…
Mortification won. Reid let out a strangled sounding squeak and promptly fled the room.
0o0o0o0o0
A good few hours later, after Reid had pulled himself from his humiliation-induced stupor, the doctor glanced around. He was sitting at his desk, hands working on autopilot as he sped through the rote everyday work everyone had to complete.
"Feeling better?"
Brown eyes locked onto Morgan's and Reid nodded slowly, trying and failing to stop the blood from rushing to his cheeks, staining his face with a dark blush. He couldn't tell if Morgan was suffering from the same embarrassment or not – his complexion unfortunately covered any tint of red.
Dark skin contrasted with his paler body…
Reid felt his cheeks heat further, blush darkening another couple of shades.
"Good, that's good," Morgan replied distractedly. "What do you say we go pay your friend Caffrey a visit?"
Reid nodded again, still unable to work up the nerve to actually speak. It was then that he finally noticed that none of the causes of his current misfortune were in the room.
For the first time in a month, he really had no desire to see where they were. He decided right then that he never wanted to walk in on their free time ever again; he really, really did not want to know what they did with it.
0o0o0o0o0
Three weeks later
0o0o0o0o0
Neal swaggered languidly back to June's, having just dropped off his latest commission at the post office. Well, he couldn't really call it a commission, per se, as he had been bullied by two rather frazzled FBI agents into doing it for free. Still, he supposed, it was worth it simply to avoid whatever revenge the two would doubtlessly have enacted upon him for his (rather lucrative) role in their embarrassment.
He shrugged. Whatever those two were planning on doing with that painting (and he had more than a few guesses), he was well out of the line of fire. Briefly he wondered if that meant Penelope would stop buying more of his work, but then decided it didn't really matter so long as Agent Morgan stayed far away from him.
Neal paused, frowning as his hand brushed against something in his coat pocket. He pulled out a folded piece of paper, opening it to the semi-familiar sight of Reid's loose drawing style and blanched. How… how…
The ex-con winced, briefly wondering how to dispose of the image before Peter caught wind of it. As it was, he was sure he wouldn't be able to look the agent in the eye the following morning.
He didn't care what Penelope might offer for a new painting. He didn't ever want to see himself and Peter in that position ever again.
Neal couldn't help but glance down at the seemingly innocent slip of paper in horrified curiosity. The bold strokes of graphite glared back.
No, that definitely wasn't physically possible.
0o0o0o0o0
The next morning, Garcia walked into her office and shrieked. Reid and Morgan, down in the bullpen, tried desperately to smother their smirks as they pretended to concentrate on their files.
Emily frowned as she entered the room, coffee in hand. Her eyes flicked to the suspiciously calm pair as she slowly set her things down and, looking conflicted, went up to the Office of the All-Knowing turned Office of the Horrific Screaming.
They waited. A few seconds later, "Oh my God! My eyes!"
Morgan and Reid turned and, in an expression of utmost maturity, high fived each other.
"Damn you, Derek Morgan," Garcia squawked threateningly as she descended from her lair. Emily trailed after, looking faintly traumatized. "And you, Dr. Reid, don't think I don't know you were in on this – this – this travesty!"
"We have no idea what you're talking about," Morgan said innocently, though the effect was somewhat ruined by the smirk still tugging at his lips.
"That is beyond cruel," Emily moaned. "Why did you have to involve Rossi, of all people?"
"Involve me in what?"
Garcia let out a noise that sounded suspiciously close to a whimper.
Rossi and Hotch watched their team in bemusement as Reid and Morgan instantly looked down at their desks, pens in hand and for all appearances working studiously on what must have been rather tedious paperwork. Emily had frozen in place, and Garcia's cheeks had turned a brilliant crimson that clashed rather horribly with today's color of choice. Neither seemed to be capable of looking at Rossi.
Meanwhile, JJ watched the goings-on from a safe distance. She'd stumbled on their work beforehand when she'd checked to see if Garcia was in yet, a question or two for the technical analyst that she'd clean forgotten the moment she'd entered the bubbly woman's office.
Objectively speaking, the painting was quite good. She'd have to see what this Caffrey guy's rates were. Maybe she'd order something for her and Will. Just… you know… a little more modest than the one featuring Penelope, Emily, and Rossi planted in the tech goddess's territory.
"Do I want to know?" Rossi asked warily when no answer was forthcoming.
Reid glanced up from his files. "Oh, it's nothing," he said, sharing a glance with co-conspirator. "Sorry for using you as an example."
Morgan finished with a wicked grin. "We were just showing the girls why office trysts are a bad idea."