It began with a dream
It all began with a dream. The terrifying nightmare of being totally alone in the world. I used to have that nightmare often. When that happened, I would curl up into a ball and rock myself back to sleep. I could never remember any dreams I had after that, or even if I had any other dreams. All I could remember the next morning was the chilling aloneness.
But that changed when I met him. He was just lying there, dying on the road, all alone. I think that's why I saved him. I didn't want anyone to have to face the loneliness of my nightmares. I took him home with me. I let him use my bed. I allowed him to stay.
I think that's when I began to love him. When he said that he wanted to leave, it almost killed me.
But I was lucky. Not only did he survive, but he stayed with me. Although I never told him, that's when I promised that I would never leave his side. It has been three years since then, and now I feel I finally have the courage to confess.
"Hakkai." I say as I enter his room. He looks at me with a smile. A real smile, not one of his usual fake ones. I find myself smiling back.
"Gojyo, is there something on your mind?" He asks me. I nod and walk further into the room. I stay close to the door, just in case.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks me, patting the bed beside him, indicating that I should take a seat. I do so, feeling oddly nervous.
"I…" I need to find the words to express myself fully. The simple three are not enough. Saying 'I love you' doesn't quite cut it. Sure, I love him, but that's not all. It seems that word is too inadequate to describe my feelings. Well, I guess that that word will have to do. "I love you. I just thought you should know that," I say as I leave the room. I don't look back as I walk away. I don't want to hear him tell me that he doesn't feel the same way. I can't bare to look him in the eye as he rejects me as he is sure to do.
I don't know where I'm going, only that it's away from him. I look up as a gust of wind strikes my face. I'm on a balcony. Below me is a courtyard with a fountain. The fountain is shooting water up and it's reflecting the moonlight. Above me is a cloudless, starry sky. I loose track of time as I stare into the raw beauty of the heavens.
I am brought back to the present as I feel someone touch my shoulder. I look to where the pressure is and see a hand resting on my shoulder. With my eyes, I follow the hand to an arm, then a shoulder, then the smiling face of Hakkai. Another real smile. His eyes are glistening in the moonlight and his monocle is reflecting it, just like the water in the fountain below us.
"Why did you run?" He asks. Sighing, I look back to the heavens.
"I didn't want to be there when you rejected me." I tell him, the absolute truth.
"What makes you think that I'll reject you?" My eyes are torn from the sky as Hakkai grips my chin in his hand and turns me to face him. I have no choice but to look into his emerald eyes. My breath catches in my throat as I realize just how close those eyes are.
The gap between us is rapidly decreasing. I feel my heartbeat quicken as our lips meet. My hands circle his waist as his snake around my neck. I open my mouth wider and he thrusts his tongue inside. Our tongues fight for domination. My heart is beating at twice the normal rate and I have butterflies in my stomach. I feel like I'm a teenager again, witnessing my first kiss.
Reluctantly, I break the kiss. The need for oxygen coupled with what just happened makes me pant for breath. Although we are no longer kissing, I am still holding Hakkai, and him me.
Then he says something that I will always remember. "I love you too."
It all began with a dream. A dream I no longer have. Now that I have Hakkai, my dreams are never lonely. I am never alone; he will always be by my side.
A/N This was previously on my other account, but more people read these ones and I was hoping for a few more reviews. I feel lonely when no one reviews… please review… and If anyone wants to do a saiyuki roleplay with me, say so in a review!!