Is it possible?
Can I return?
They need me but is it enough?
Today I snapped.
I didn't mean to,
I just couldn't do it anymore.
I give my all
And what is the point?
He doesn't care.
I know I should be angry at him.
And I am. Not as much as at myself.
I want to go back. I want to apologise.
I can't always be the one.
The excuses, forgiveness: the pain.
He isn't going to change. I know this.
I fear my head will be overruled.
I am willing him to call me
But I am afraid.
Am I that expendable?
Do I mean that little to him?
Doesn't he want be back?
No. Stop thinking like this.
He is, perhaps was, a colleague.
Nothing more. I was there to do a job.
He doesn't need me now; obviously.
He never saw me as a person; a woman.
I fear my head will be overruled.
Maybe things would be different;
If I'd told him.
Maybe I would have left before;
If I'd told him.
Maybe he would appreciate me;
If I'd told him.
Maybe we would be happy;
If I'd told him.
I want to scream it from the rooftops;
I never told him though. Why?
Because he doesn't feel the same.
I am intelligent and strong
Yet my heart, oh my heart
It beats with a fury
And I know.
I've known all along:
I love him.
My head knows I am a masochist.
My heart longs for him
And my body craves his embrace.
Stop it Grace; stop analysing.
Knock, knock, knock.
My thoughts are disrupted.
Gratefully I oblige and answer.
There: he stands before me.
Was I wrong?
He comes in: he breaks.
He won't let me speak.
He says it all.
He confesses all: he needs me.
I agree to return.
His eyes are enough to convince me.
Where do we go from here?
I don't know
But I know I am not ready.
I can't give up on him.
He smiles and stands; as do I.
He gathers my fractured pieces
Into all - consuming arms and I know.
I can feel it: he doesn't want to let go.
I wonder as I watch him leave:
Could he feel the same?
Could we be together?
And, finally, my head is overruled.