A/N: Hi! Well, this is my first FMA fanfic! *cricket* *cricket* Oh come on! Isn't anyone excited!? ... Damn you guys are a tough crowd. Anyways, like I said, this is the first fanfiction I have ever written so least to say I'm more than a little bit nervous. Reviews are very much appreciated though I do hope people will refrain from out right saying 'THIS SUCKS!'. I don't mind criticism since that's going to help me improve as a writer but flamers are a different matter. Ah you know what!? Just flame me! Flame me as much as you want, I'll just whip out my bag of marshmallows and proceed to make smores! XD Well, onto to the story now! Enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist do you really think I'd be making a fanfiction? No, I didn't think so.

"ANOTHER ONE!?" came the indignant cry from a certain Colonel's office.

Two years had passed since Edward Elric, famed Fullmetal Alchemist, Hero of the people and loving older brother to Alphonse Elric had joined the military. Now at the ripe age of fourteen, he was currently in Colonel Roy Mustang's office discussing his latest mission.

"Damn you bastard, I'm not going!"

...Correction, they were arguing about Edward's latest mission.

It all started with one Flame Alchemist staring idly at the stacks of paperwork surrounding his desk. Hawkeye was out on her lunch break leaving him free to procrastinate all he wished.

As his mind started to wander, his thoughts drifted towards a certain blonde alchemist.

'Two years,' he mused. Two years since that kid did the taboo, two years since he became a dog of the military, two years since he came into all of Mustang's subordinates lives, making sure that he gave them all a heart attack more than once with his recklessness.

Yup, that kid was something else alright. Missing half his limbs and still able to take a few years off of Roy's life. Now that took talent.

And then there was the paperwork. No matter where Ed went, it seemed he was determined to cause as much damage as possible; resulting in more paperwork for Roy. Seriously, didn't the kid know the meaning of the word 'subtle'?

Roy casually glanced at the mound of boring reports that littered his desk. He should probably get back to work. Hawkeye would be coming back soon and if she caught him slacking then...well... let's just say he'd see her more 'trigger happy' side.

Just as he reached for report a loud bang followed by a crash and ending with a thud rang through the room. Mustang didn't even bother looking up, he knew who it was; the 'bang-crash-thud' entrance could only mean one person.

In stepped the Fullmetal Alchemist, dressed in black, red coat billowing with his trademark braid and scowl. He walked pass the kicked in door, heading towards his commanding officers desk. "Here bastard," he said before putting his report on the nearest stack of files.

With that he turned around and proceeded to get as far away as possible from 'Colonel Bastard'.

"Wait a minute Fullmetal. I haven't given you your next mission. Luckily it's a very short one." Roy said, waiting for the boys angry retort.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MIDGET SO SMALL AN ANT WOULD LOOK LIKE A GIANT TO HIM!" Ed screamed.

"That'd be you Fullmetal." Came Roy's smartass response.

Growling, Ed walked (stomped) back and plopped himself down on the couch, facing Roy. This was why he hated handing in reports. The Colonel was always so smug and infuriating, always poking fun at his height. Would it kill the man to lay off of the short jokes!?

Glaring at his superior officer he asked, "well what is it 'cause if you don't tell me in the next minute then I'm leaving. I've got better things to do than to listen to you jab at my height."

Looking up from his stack of paperwork, he casually tossed a big, beige folder towards Ed who eagerly looked through it.

"A terrorist group has set up a base camp up in the south. Your mission is to-" Mustang was abruptly cut off by an indignant yell from his subordinate.

"This has absolutely nothing to do with the Philosopher's stone! I can't waste my time with this garbage. Don't you have any leads or something?" Ed asked. Damn Mustang, always wasting his time with irrelevant missions.

"No I don't Fullmetal. That's why I'm assigning you this. I need to keep you out of my hair somehow!"

"Well maybe if you sent me on important missions then I could find the stone sooner and be out of the military faster. That way I'd be 'out of your hair' forever."

"And you know I don't have any leads so I can't do that!"

"Then if you don't have any leads then stop sending me on stupid missions! Just let me go down to the library to research!"

"And we both know from experience that if I give you time off you wreak havoc on Central and cause me more paperwork!"

And on went the banter. Some point in time Ed had gotten up and tossed the folder back onto Mustang's desk. The arguing still continued as he went for the door. He was getting out of here, screw the mission!

Then Mustang had a brilliant idea. A perfect scheme to trick Fullmetal and get him to obey. Oh this was going to be fun.

"Damn it Fullmetal, if you're going to act like such a child then go take the week off! I'll just give this mission to a more capable alchemist!" Roy yelled.

That caught Ed's attention, seeing as he stopped reaching for the door at 'more capable'.

Slowly turning around he shot his best death glare at Roy.

"More capable alchemist?" Ed asked, his voice straining. What more capable alchemist?

"Of course Fullmetal. There are plenty more experienced, intelligent state alchemists here. I'll just send one of them since you can't seem to do it. You know, this is probably for the best actually. You couldn't possibly complete this mission half as good as some of the older military personnel. In fact, I should go just to show how incapable you really are!" came Mustang's nonchalant though smug reply.

Oh, that did it! Swiftly turning around, Ed marched back to the Colonel's desk, grabbed the folder, turned around once more and marched right back out. "More capable my ass Mustang! I'll show you how good I can be! Just you wait! Hmph, more capable." Ed said, mumbling the last part. He once again kicked the door open and stomped out, intent on making Mustang eat his words.

And all the while he never noticed Roy's smirk of victory.