A/N: I guess when you keep your thoughts cooped up so long, the words just come out. But I'm confused with the constant shipping. Jake & Bells again. Enjoy.
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He knew that his arrival was expected. Even if he hadn't told Edward (out of some sort of obligation he felt he owed), he knew that the leech, Alice, would have figured it out anyhow. He had come simply to tell her that he couldn't stay. To admit that it was too difficult to watch her become so involved in her new world, too hard to see her become one of them. He flinched, imagining her with the palest skin imaginable, her face twisted into something he couldn't recognize. She was beautiful the way she was. It would be too much to see her change.
He knew that she would be with him. That she would be smiling and full of ecstasy, staring with adoring eyes up at her new husband. He choked back a growl. He had expected the pang of loneliness when he saw her, the heat of his towering body rushing to the center of his chest. It wasn't a surprise that he was still in love with her. He had never really stopped.
But when her husband led her towards him, knowing that she needed closure too, believing that he was there simply to tell her goodbye, he wasn't prepared for the strength of his reaction. The painful clash in his heart when he realized how difficult it would be to go through with. He had never imagined anything could be harder than watching her let him go.
When she was alone, the smile on her face sent his blood boiling, and he wanted so badly to be able to laugh along with her. When she jumped over to hug him, he bent his face in her hair and tried to memorize the scent, the feel of her body so close to his. He couldn't help but imagine that it was him with the wedding ring.
He danced her across the floor, her head barely reaching his chest. He leaned lower and she stood on her toes, her face buried in his neck. He felt his pulse quicken and hoped she couldn't feel it. The tightening of muscles and constant shaking of his Adam's apple was enough.
When he took the time to look up, he saw that there were people watching them all across the room, and he realized that he had to do this alone. He took hold of her palm and she followed him around the back, waiting as he stopped to tell his makeshift family that he no longer needed them there. He could see the warnings in their eyes but he ignored them, knowing that it would be ten times harder to do this if he felt them in the background.
They slide away from the people and the noise, and finally they are alone. She looks confused, and he marvels at how unobservant she is, wondering how she hadn't guessed what he is going to tell her. His words come out in pairs (Ican't ithurts hesyours I'mgone it'sbest I'msorry). She looks confused, and he watches a single crystal tear drop down her pale cheek. He reaches up automatically to wipe it away, and is surprised when she takes his hand in both of hers, pressing her lips softly against her palm.
He becomes suddenly ten times more aware of his senses, and his mind dashes quickly through explanations. She shakes her head and places his hand on her waist, leaning into him, her face against his neck, still wet with tears. He hears the words she whispers and recalls a memory, but this time they are said with a different emotion. My Jacob.
Before he is lost again in the feel of her skin, he calls upon his common sense and asks the question they both need to know. Her whispers make his hair stand up on edge and he wonders how he ever deserved this. She sighs (it'salwaysbeenyou).
I don't know what to make of it.
I love you, Jacob Black. And I'm sorry.
He presses his mouth softly against hers and they continue to dance in the moonlight.
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END